Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with you, move along.

Working him in Shifts

"Parvati," Harry called out. "Can I talk with you for a moment?"

"What do you want?" Parvati replied hotly.

"I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted at the Yule ball," Harry explained. "It was wrong of me to act that way and I should have paid more attention to you, especially since I was lucky enough to have such a pretty witch as my date."

"You think I'm pretty?" Parvati's tone warmed up, "I accept your apology with one condition."

"What?"

"You must give me some good dates to make up for the bad one." The girl said with a smile, "is that acceptable to you?"

"It is," Harry answered. "When do you want to have our first date?"

"Right now," Parvati replied. "We can go out walking on the castle grounds."

"Sure," Harry agreed.

The young couple spent the next hour walking around the castle grounds and eventually made their way back to the entrance hall.

"I had a great time Harry," Parvati said with a grin. "I shall look forward to our next date with great anticipation."

"Me too," Harry agreed quickly. "When do you want to meet?"

"How about the same time tomorrow?" Parvati suggested.

"Sure," Harry replied.

"See you then," Parvati said with a grin. Blushing, the girl gave Harry a quick kiss on the lips and then darted out of the room.

IIIIIIIIII

"How was it?" Padma greeted her sister as she entered the room.

"Much better than the ball," Parvati replied. "I think he could be a great boyfriend.

"Mind sharing?" Padma asked with a raised eyebrow. "The pickings are rather slim in this castle."

"That they are," Parvati agreed. "And I don't think it will be too arduous to share with you. We are sisters, and we share everything else."

"Thank you," Padma said with a grateful smile. "So tell me all the details."

IIIIIIIIII

Harry paced nervously as he waited for his date to arrive. A thousand thoughts raced through his mind, chief among them was his worry that she had changed her mind or chosen not to come to get him back for his earlier behavior.

"There you are," Padma called out. "I'm sorry I'm late but I wanted to look my best."

"That's ok," Harry replied with a relieved smile. "I'm just glad you could come."

"I wouldn't miss it," Padma said.

"There's something different about you Parvati," Harry mused.

"Why would you say that?" Padma replied nervously.

"I don't know, I just . . . you did something with your hair?" Harry asked with false confidence.

"I'm so glad you noticed," Padma said with a relieved smile. "You're such a good boyfriend."

"I try," Harry replied modestly. "And I had Dobby pack a picnic for us."

"Who?"

"Dobby is a house elf I rescued from the Malfoy family," Harry explained. "I'll introduce you later."

"Thanks Harry."

IIIIIIIIII

"I'll be right back Harry," Parvati said as she kissed Harry.

"Ok Parvati," Harry agreed.

The girl got up and walked around the corner to meet her twin. "Ok, it's your hour now."

"Thanks," Padma said with a smile. "Anything I need to know?"

"Nothing too important."

"Ok."

"Wait," Parvati said quickly. "You forgot to change your robes."

"Thank you sister." Padma changed her robes with a flick of her wand and went off to rejoin Harry.

"Did you change your hair again?" Harry asked.

"Yes I did, it's so good of you to notice these things."

"I do my best," Harry said modestly. He still wasn't sure why his girlfriend was always changing her hair style. Seemed like she did it every day, sometimes several times a day. And where did she get all that energy? It was like she could walk off and come back a few minutes later ready to do anything. "You . . . you don't take Pepper Up Potions do you?"

"Why do you ask that?" Padma asked with a frown.

"You walk off and you've got so much energy when you come back," Harry explained. "I was just curious."

"Yoga," Padma said firmly. She raised her foot to touch the top of her head. "See?"

"Woah . . . could you teach me that?"

"Of course my love," Padma agreed. "Would you like to start now?"

IIIIIIIIII

"So . . . you're dating my daughters are you?"

"Well . . ." Harry frowned for a minute before chalking it up to poor English. "Yes sir."

"I see . . . don't you think it's a bit unusual?"

"Why would I sir?" Harry asked with honest confusion. "Is it because we came from different cultures?"

"Hmmmm."

"I have to borrow Harry for a bit father," Parvati interjected. "We'll be right back."

"As you wish daughter."

Padma waited until her sister had left the room before turning to their father. "Harry doesn't know he's dating both of us," she confessed.

"What?" He asked in shock. "He hasn't noticed?"

"We've been changing places since the first date," Padma explained. "Sometimes in the middle of a date. He keeps noticing that something is different but he hasn't been able to figure out what."

"You're telling me?" His face turned red and Padma shrunk, expecting him to start yelling. "Bwahahaha. That poor boy."

"Um . . . you're not angry about everything?"

"Not now that I know that it's my wicked daughters taking advantage of a poor innocent boy rather then the other way around as I had originally thought."

AN: Yes, the Patil twins have decided to work Harry in shifts and no they haven't told him about the fact that they're sharing him. I was thinking about turning this into a story or a full sized chapter but I really don't feel the urge to start another project. I might do more with this but I really don't think I could write it as a stand alone, might be a good sub plot in another fic though.

Omake: Hostages

"May I have your attention please?" Harry's voice echoed through the Great Hall. "Now then, Draco Malfoy has been making some threats recently. The jist of them is that Voldemort will kill our families if we stand against him and so on."

"That's a lie," Draco rebutted quickly. "You have no proof."

"Shut up Malfoy," one of the other students spat. "You said that exact thing to me two days ago."

"You can't . . ."

"That's beside the point," Harry interrupted. "I just wanted to point something out to you and your little followers, feel free to pass this along."

"What is it Potter?"

"It may be true that their families are outside the castle and vulnerable to Death Eaters," Harry allowed. "But the reverse is also true. The Death Eaters have children here at Hogwarts. Dumbledore may not have taken advantage of this fact but I will. Listen closely Malfoy, if anyone here looses family to Voldemort then I will kill three of the Death Eaters' children."

"Harry you can't," Dumbledore said quickly. "It would make you just as bad as they are."

"Be silent," Harry disagreed. "Now as I was saying, the first three will be yourself, your bookends . . . and I suppose I'll throw in the Headmaster's pet Death Eater too as a bonus. Do you understand Malfoy?"

"You don't have the guts Potter," Draco said nervously.

"Try me," Harry said coldly. "But you bring up a good point, will I follow through with my threat? Does anyone else have any doubts?"

"You can't scare us Potter," Pansy laughed. "Now run along and stop bothering us."

"Hmmmm." Harry scanned the faces in the Great Hall. "I suppose you can think of this as a down payment . . . Reducto." Harry spun and hit Snape in the face with the curse, showering the wall behind with his brains. "You're next Draco," Harry said coldly. "You and your bookends, Pansy and two others after that. Your parents can learn behave or they can find a way to get new heirs."

"Put down your wand Harry," Dumbledore said firmly. "No one else has to get hurt."

"You're right Professor," Harry agreed. "But you'll have to kill me to stop me, are you prepaired to do that?"

"It doesn't have to be this way Harry."

"I'm not even going to try to curse you," Harry said thoughtfully. "I'm going to direct my first to Draco, then Pansy, then . . . well I'm not sure if I'll be able to get more then two."

"The Aurors will be here soon," Dumbledore pleaded. "They . . ."

"Will see that I killed a marked Death Eater," Harry interrupted. "The fact that it's Snape will be icing on the cake."

"Harry please . . ."

"One more thing," Harry said loudly. "If they get me then I need someone else to take this up. They get one of ours then I want someone to make them pay with three. Hostages are useless if you don't take advantage of them."

Disclaimer: The age old purpose of hostages is to assure good behavior by threat of violence. I thought about doing something like this in Old Soldiers but I decided not to.

Omake: Harry's Adventures in Time

"Hmmm," Harry said to himself. "It appears that I've gone back in time somehow. If only Hermione were here, she'd know what to do."

"You should do whatever you want," imaginary Hermione said firmly.

"Really?"

"Yup, I like books right?"

"Yeah."

"And my favorite is Hogwarts a History right?"

"Uh huh."

"Then what could be better then changing history?" She demanded. "It's the best thing you do since it would change the book and that way it'll all be new when I read it again."

"That makes so much sense," Harry said with a smile. "Thanks imaginary Hermione.

"No problem Harry."

"What's going on here?" Another imaginary Hermione walked in. "Why are you dressed like me Luna?"

"No reason."

"She was just telling me to change the past," Harry explained.

"What?" Imaginary Hermione tackled imaginary Luna.

"Yeah," Harry cheered as the two imaginary girls began wrestling and ripping each other's clothing off. "Now if only some imaginary oil would . . . OH GOD YES."

AN: Goes with Pow Right in the Kisser.

Omake: Pow Right in the Kisser

"So why exactly do you hate Potters?" The therapist asked. "It can't all be because of a few school boy pranks."

"I was six years old," Snape said dully. "And I had gotten up to get a drink of water when I heard strange sounds coming from my mother's room."

"Go on."

The past, several years ago.

Harry wasn't sure why he'd gone back in time but he'd decided to enjoy it while it lasted. He had already killed young Tom Riddle and several other people. The whole avoid changing the past had lasted about five minutes. Like Harry had always said, don't look at me funny and I won't kill you. If Tom hadn't wanted to get killed then he should have kept his eyes down. And as for the others? Well, he'd already changed history hadn't he? Wasn't like he could mess up the time line any less was it?

But killing had gotten a bit tedious after a while and Harry had gone pub crawling in search of a diversion of a different sort.

"Hey baby," he said as he slid into a seat next to a good looking witch. "How about we go back to your place for a little fun?"

"And just why would I wanna do that?" She asked with a lazy smile.

"Well . . ." Harry smiled and began licking his eyebrows.

"Check please," the woman screamed. She took him back to her house, the things he did to her, the things she did in return.

She was kneeling before him when the door opened to admit a very confused little boy. Eyes widening in shock, Harry recognised the little boy and he knew what he had to do.

"Pow," he said loudly. "Right in the kisser."

The presant.

"And that's why I hate Potters," Snape said firmly. "The second I saw him, I knew that James Potter was related to him. I knew I had to protect the world from him and his dark urges."

"So you joined a Dark Lord?"

"Seemed like a good idea at the time. Besides, he wasn't on the same side as those damned Potters." Snape was quick to point out.

"You're going to have to learn to let go of your anger," the therapist said calmly. "And admit to yourself that Harry Potter couldn't have anything to do with that mysterious man you saw."

AN: Yes, I stole this joke from The Family Guy.