Disclaimer: Just give up and try again somewhere else.

Transfer

Harry . . .

"You wanted to see me sir?" Harry asked as he walked into the Headmaster's office.

"Yes . . . I was hoping that you could explain this," Dumbledore said in a kind voice.

"What?" Harry asked. "Oh, you mean my transfer papers."

"Yes, those."

"Well, I've just decided that Hogwarts isn't the place for me what with the constant attempts on my life, the lack of educational opportunities, and biased teaching staff . . . well, also the teaching staff that goes so far out of their way to show that they aren't biased that they end up being biased. The road to hell and all that."

"Were you thinking of any specific Professors?" Dumbledore asked with a sick feeling.

"Snape."

"That's Professor . . ."

"I'm not a student here any longer," Harry interrupted. "So I'll call the son of a bitch anything I want to."

"Yes . . . well, surely it's not that bad."

"Surely I could give a damn," Harry replied cheerfully. "Like I said, I'm not a student here any longer. Snape can be as biased as he likes, it's no concern of mine."

"May I tell you something in confidence?" Dumbledore asked in a low voice.

"If you like."

"Severus has an important role to play, a role that requires him to . . ."

"Be a bastard and you should just suck it up because I'm not going to do anything," Harry interjected in a fair impersonation of Dumbledore's voice. "Or something along those lines, am I right."

"I . . . what about the other kind of Professor?"

"McGonagall doesn't do anything to minimise Snape's behavior," Harry said with a yawn. "Or to reign in Draco and his little friends, will that be all? I really have to start packing my things."

"You'd really leave Hogwarts?"

"For a chance to get a good education and a decent learning environment?" Harry asked incredulously. "You bet your ass I would."

"What about your friends?"

"What about them?" Harry asked. "Hermione's transfer request is below mine and Ron's is below hers, not sure who else decided to make the switch."

Dumbledore paled and took a few seconds to rifle through the stack on his desk. "Oh dear."

"Lots of students then?" Harry asked mildly.

"Most of them," Dumbledore croaked.

"Imagine that," Harry said in wonder. "Never thought that little speech of mine would have that much effect."

"Harry, I'm afraid I can't allow you to . . ."

"And I'm afraid you can't stop me," Harry said with a grin. "Hermione found the law you know, the one that made it illegal to prevent a student from receiving a magical education if they had the ability. One of yours wasn't it?"

"Yes but I fail to see how it applies?"

"You're seeking to prevent me from receiving my education," Harry explained. "I'm sure you'll find that the law doesn't care if I'm already getting one. The important thing is that I refuse to stay at an institution as poor as Hogwarts."

"What if I were to make things better?" Dumbledore tried desperately.

"Then I'm sure future students will thank you," Harry said flippantly. "Good day Headmaster, I'm afraid I don't have any more time to waste dealing with your petty concerns."

Hermione . . .

"You wished to speak with me Professor McGonagall?"

"Yes," Minerva agreed. "May I be blunt?"

"Please."

"Why are you leaving Hogwarts to go to another school?"

"Several reasons," Hermione replied. "The main two are Harry and the fact that I can get a better education elsewhere."

"Harry meaning that since Mister Potter is leaving, you are choosing to join him?"

"Correct."

"Would you please explain the comment about another school offering a superior education? After all, Hogwarts is the finest . . ."

"With all due respect, Hogwarts is not even in the top ten." Hermione interrupted sharply. "In fact, it is currently hovering between being taught by a group of howler monkeys and getting no magical education at all. The fact is that Hogwarts has a sub par staff and an environment that is not conducive to learning."

"Would you care to explain that?" Minerva growled.

"Certainly," Hermione agreed. "Why don't I just list the departments that do more to hinder a student then teach?"

"Please do."

"Divination, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Astronomy, Muggle Studies, and Potions are the worst of the lot."

"Astronomy?"

"Is decades behind what's known in the muggle world," Hermione said primly.

"Muggle Studies?"

"Is a joke," Hermione replied. "Will you take my word as a muggle born or would you like me to list examples?"

"I will take your word," Minerva sighed. "What about Potions? Severus is one of the finest Potions Masters in Europe."

"No he isn't," Hermione said quickly. "After doing a bit of research, I've learned that the only person in the school that even makes the top fifty is the Headmaster at forty eight. When we bring in the rest to the world the Headmaster would struggle to make the top thousand. Leaving that aside, ability or not the man is a dreadful educator and he has almost single handedly destroyed the learning environment. Something I'll note, you've done nothing to stop."

"Ms. Granger I . . ."

"Have allowed him to show blatant favoritism to his house? Have done nothing to curb the behavior of his pets? Have allowed him to show blatant and harmful bias against Harry and several other students? Please stop me if you think I've made an untrue statement Professor."

"I . . . Albus said . . ."

"So your excuse is that the Headmaster has forced you to be derelict in your duty?" Hermione asked coldly. "And you lacked the moral strength to resign in protest? I'm sorry Professor but I am afraid that I cannot accept that excuse, good day."

"Good day Ms. Granger," Minerva said weakly as her star pupil stormed out. Perhaps she'd have more luck with one of the Weasleys?

Luna . . .

"Hello Ms. Lovegood," Professor Flitwick said with a kind smile.

"Hello Mister Flitwick," Luna replied with a matching smile.

"I see that you've chosen to transfer to another school," he began.

"You do?" Luna said in delight. "That's wonderful."

"It is?"

"Why yes," Luna agreed. "It is."

"Moving right along," the Ravenclaw head of house said quickly. "Could you tell me why you've chosen to transfer to another school?"

"I could," Luna agreed. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Uh huh."

"Why have you chosen to transfer to another school?" He sighed.

"Because if I don't then it will be much more difficult to seduce Harry," Luna said immediately.

"You want to seduce Harry?"

"I do?"

"You just said you did," he said in frustration.

"That's right," Luna said with a smile. "I did."

"So why do you want to seduce Harry?"

"Because Harry was nice to me," Luna said with sudden seriousness. "When no one else was."

"I . . . see . . ."

"And there's also the fact that Susan and Hanna are going too," Luna continued. "And you know what they say about Hufflepuffs?"

"What do they say about Hufflepuffs?" He asked before he could stop himself.

"That they have good teamwork," Luna said with a happy smile. "Think about it."

"But I thought you said that you wanted to seduce Harry?"

"Sharing is caring," Luna giggled.

"I . . . see, well that will be all Ms. Lovegood."

"It will?"

"It will," he confirmed.

"I think so," she agreed. "Bye Mister Flitwick."

"Goodbye Ms. Lovegood."

Ron . . .

"Come in Mr. Weasley," Minerva requested.

"Sure thing," Ron agreed. "What can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering if you would be willing to tell me why you're transferring from Hogwarts?"

"Why would I stay here when all my friends are leaving?" Ron asked with an odd look.

"What about Quidditch?" Minerva asked weakly. "Does your next school have a Quidditch team?"

"No," Ron said cheerfully. "It's got better."

"Better?"

"Quodpot," Ron explained. "Did you know that there are enough schools to play each other rather then just having a Quidditch Cup? They play more games in a week then we do in a year. Not to mention the fact that professional Quodpot players make one hundred times what Professional Quidditch players do, even if I don't get chosen Hermione found out that the teams like to recruit heavily from overseas when they can and they have to offer extra galleons to do it successfully. Not to mention the fact that there won't be any Slytherins."

"I see, thank you Mr. Weasley."

"No problem," Ron said as he walked out.

Hufflepuff House . . .

"I've called you all here to ask why," Professor Sprout said. "Why have you all chosen to leave Hogwarts?"

Several eyes turned to look at Susan. "Because we're Hufflepuffs," Susan said firmly. "We stick with our own."

"Still . . ."

"Harry is one of us," another student said. "He goes, we go."

"He taught us to defend ourselves," Hanna agreed.

"He's our leader," Susan added. "Does that answer your question Professor?"

"It does," Professor Sprout sighed. "Thank you."

Daphne and Tracy . . .

"Out with it," Snape barked. "Why are the two of you betraying your house, your blood, and your heritage?"

"Because you're an idiot," Daphne sneered. "You needlessly antagonize one of the most powerful students in the school. He may not choose to use it but he has more influence in his little finger then you'll ever have. One word to the press and . . . but you don't understand that do you? All you know of power is brute force, how disappointing that the head of a house that once prided itself on subtlety and cunning has so little of either."

"You insolent child," Snape fumed. "Get out, both of you."

"Not to mention the deal we have with Luna," Tracy added over her shoulder. "She says she needs our help because no girl can seduce Harry herself."

"Arg." Snape grabbed a paperweight off his desk and flung it at the closing door.

Ginny . . .

"You want to ask why I'm transferring out with the others don't you?" Ginny asked as she walked in.

"Yes," Minerva agreed.

"I can't let Luna seduce Harry all by herself can I?" Sha laughed. "Will that be all Professor?"

"Yes, thank you Ms. Weasley."

The Meeting . . .

"I've come to a rather . . . uncomfortable conclusion," Minerva began. "The children are correct, Hogwarts is no longer a place of learning. It had become a place where a petty and spiteful man has been allowed free reign to do as he pleases to the determent of the students." She finished with a sharp look directed at Snape.

"If Harry leaves, Hufflepuff House will go with him. I . . . my resignation is on your desk Albus," Sprout said sadly. "What's the point of being a Professor in an empty school?"

"My Ravenclaws are also leaving as a group," Flitwick said. "I doubt more then half a dozen will stay behind. It was enivatable after that essay Ms. Granger wrote comparing Hogwarts to other institutes of learning. I'm afraid we don't compare at all to several schools in the Americas, Asia, India, or even outer Mongolia."

"Outer Mongolia?"

"I'm told that there is a very good program if you wish to study mare's milk as a potion ingredient," Flitwick replied. "As a consequence their Potions department is . . . well, you get the picture."

"We're loosing a couple students from Slytherin," Snape said with an unconcerned shrug. "No one of any value."

"Harry is the key," Dumbledore spoke up. "If we can find a way to force him to stay then we will be able to keep the majority of our students.

AN: Not sure where this came from. Perhaps a little piece of me screaming about the lack of 'Harry in another school' story lines. Thanks go to ausfinbar who provided a couple ideas for this.

Omake: Dating Luna

"Hermione, may I speak with you for a moment."

"What is it Luna?" Hermione replied.

"You live in the muggle world with Harry don't you?"

"Yeees?" Hermione agreed slowly. "Why?"

"I was just worried about you having sex with Harry over the summer," Luna said bluntly. "So I wanted to talk with you about that."

"Don't worry Luna," Hermione said quickly. She'd known the blond was a bit unsure of her relationship with Harry, but she'd never known it was this bad. "I'd never . . ."

"What?" Luna asked in alarm. "Why not? Isn't he good enough for you?"

"Wait . . . what?"

"I'm worried you won't keep him occupied," Luna explained. "I don't like the thought of Harry getting all pent up over the summer and I had hoped that you'd be willing to help me out."

"But . . . what about you Luna?"

"Me?" The blond asked. "I'll be in Sweden with Father, now about you and Harry . . ."

"Luna, I don't know what kind of girl you think I am. But I am not going to sleep with a boy that I'm not at least dating seriously."

"Oh," Luna said in understanding. "I understand now."

"Good," Hermione sighed in relief.

"And I must say that you didn't need to bring this up in such a round about way Hermione," Luna lectured. "Next time I want you to just come out and ask."

"Thank you Luna I . . . wait, ask what?"

"If you can date Harry of course," Luna said. "And the answer is yes."

"But you're dating Harry," Hermione protested.

"Yes, and I appreciate the fact that you were polite enough to ask me if you could date him too first. Oh, I'm sure Harry will be ever so happy to find out that he's dating two girls now. Especially when one of them has been his best friend since first year, wait till I tell him."

"Luna no."

"So you want to tell him then?" Luna asked. "Well, ok but be sure to do it soon."

"Luna I . . . I don't want to date Harry with you."

"Well I'm certainly not going to break up with him," Luna growled. "And that's quite rude of you to try to take him for yourself like that Hermione."

"That's not what I ment," Hermione said quickly.

"Well it's also not good to go back on what you said like that," Luna admonished. "Aren't you supposed to be in Gryffindor? Just gather up your courage and ask. Now, if you're not going to tell him then I am. You're too good a friend to let you throw this relationship away."

"Luna I . . you . . . um . . ."

AN: Might have to write this some time, Harry's relationship with Luna. Don't know why I like to write Luna as a girl that likes to build Harems for herself, but it's fun to do so . . .