Disclaimer: Let's see if it works this time hmmmm?

Just a Few More Omake

OMAKE: Opposites Attract used

Every jaw in the Great Hall dropped when they saw Neville Longbottom walk in with an exotic dark haired beauty on his arm. Several of the more . . . fragile students fainted when they recognised the exotic dark haired beauty as Bellatrix Lestrange, one of the three people responsible for Neville's parents' . . . condition.

"Uh . . . hey Neville," Harry said slowly. "How are you doing today?"

"Wonnnnnderful," Neville said with a smug grin. "Spent the last few hours doing some rather . . . strenuous activity and now all I want is a nice big breakfast to get my energy back."

"He means shagging," Bella said helpfully.

"Uh . . . you do realise that you're with Bellatrix Lestrange right?"

"Sure do," Neville agreed. "Unless that's not your name sugar tits."

"Not for much longer," Bella giggled. "I have a feeling that my soon to be ex-husband is going to suffer a horrific and painful accident."

"Looks like you were a day or so too early Harry," Neville said cheerfully. "Maybe you've got an inner eye after all."

"Uhhhh . . ." Harry attempted to share a glance with one of the other shell shocked students. "Sugar tits?"

"It's his pet name for me," Bellatrix explained. "I like to call him Mambo Jack . . . and I nicknamed his penis the staff of lordly might."

"Uh." Harry's brain fought and nearly lost a mighty battle to keep working. "So . . . how'd you two get together?"

"Well," Neville began. "There I was, I'd decided to hunt down Bella and kill her in a slow and creative manner."

"He looked so cute covered with my brother in law's blood and intestines," Bella cooed.

"And there we were," Neville continued. "Sharing blow after blow . . ."

"All the blowing was done by me later," Bella added.

"When suddenly we just started kissing," Neville said with a laugh. "One thing led to another . . ."

"And another and another and another and another."

"And now we're an item," Neville finished. "You know what they say, opposites attract."

"Riiiight."

Neville and Bellatrix shared a quick meal, with Bella giving an impromptu lesson on how to eat a banana that was both erotic and horrific.

"Later chumps," Bella said as the two walked out of the room. "Mambo Jack and I need to find out if it's possible to break a steel reinforced bed frame by having too much sex."

"No such thing as too much," they heard Neville say as the couple disappeared down the hall.

"Oh man," Ron groaned. "What happened? Last thing I remember was getting some eggs and then . . . nothing, must have studied too hard last night. Well, lesson learned I'm not doing that again. From now on, Ron Weasley doesn't study."

AN: You know, I really don't use Neville as much as I should.

Omake: Homecoming used

"Director Bones?"

"What is it?"

"We found Malfoy," the Auror said. "It's ugly."

"How ugly?" Bones demanded.

"Here are the pictures." The Auror handed over an envelope full of photos. "They aren't pretty."

"I've been an Auror for a long time," she replied sardonically. "I've seen ugly." Susan examined the photos of her ex-classmate for several seconds before sighing. "Welcome home Harry."

"Ma'am?"

"Who else had the means and motive?" Susan asked. "And who else would do something like this?"

Omake: Sick used

"Oh god," Harry managed to blurt between dry heaves. "No."

Harry ran out of the Three Broomsticks, past several of his surprised friends, and out into the night.

"What just happened?" Hermione asked.

"What'd you do?" Susan was more direct and had her wand pointed at a smirking Fred and George Weasley. "Talk."

"We don't-"

"-know what you're talking about Susan."

"Come to think of it." Hermione's wand joined Susan's. "I read of a particularly nasty hex yesterday that I've been dieing to try out, I was going to use it on Malfoy but . . ."

"I'm not sure you can wait that long," Ginny growled. "Right Hermione?"

"My thought's exactly Ginny."

"We may have given him the idea-"

"-accidentally given him the idea."

"That Ginny was his younger sister," Fred said weakly. "And that she'd been placed with our family to keep her safe."

"As a back up."

"He didn't seem to mind that," Fred continued. "Liked the idea of having family."

"Until we mentioned that it didn't change anything about her crush," George stifled a laugh. "And that it was actually for the best since it would keep the Potter bloodline pure."

"Said it was mum's idea and that Ginny knew."

"And that we thought he had a right to know."

"He thinks I'm his sister?" Ginny asked in disgust.

"He believed something you two told him?"

"We might have-"

"-accidentally-"

"- yes accidentally."

"Forged several documents supporting what we told him."

"And pictures."

"Sworn testimony."

"Invented a magic charm that would confirm it."

"Took fake truth potion."

"That we switched out with the real potions he had with him."

"Not sure why he had that."

"Harry nicked it from his trial," Hermione said impatiently. "Why'd you go to all that trouble?"

"Wouldn't have believed us otherwise," Fred said stubbornly.

"Harry's not an idiot like Ron."

"What about Ron?" Ginny asked slowly.

"Hey there Gin Gin," Ron said with a killer grin. "Turns out you're not my sister soooooo."

AN: Yeah, well . . . I was bored.