Disclaimer: Alternate titles for this are; 'The One Who Bakes,' 'Harry Potter and The Fanatically Loyal Witches,' 'The-Boy-Who-Cooked,' and 'For the Fudge.'
Summer With Tonky
Tonks growled as she watched Harry's fat relatives gorge themselves while Harry was left with nothing but a piece of stale toast.
"Screw Dumbledore," Tonks muttered to herself as she kicked open the door, "I can't let this continue any longer."
"Tonks?" Harry exclaimed when the woman burst into the room, her hair cycling through different shades as a show of her agitation.
"Get out of my house freak," Vernon shouted.
"Shut up," Tonks spat as her wand pointed at the large man. "One bloody word and I'll make sure you can never say another . . . just gimme an excuse you bastard."
"What's this about?" Harry asked calmly. Once you'd been attacked by a Dark Lord a couple times, ordinary things like an Auror bursting into your house and interrupting your meal barely rated a raised eyebrow.
"Eat up Harry," Tonks commanded. The tip of her wand was fixed on the Dursley family. "Take your fill and then we're going, I'm not leaving you here another second."
"It's Ok Tonks," Harry assured his friend. "Let's just go."
"You made this food didn't you?"
"Yeah."
"Then you deserve to eat it," Tonks said firmly.
"I don't want to take another thing from them," Harry said firmly. "Let's just go."
"You're sure?"
"Yeah," Harry agreed. "I'm sure."
Tonks waved her wand and Harry's trunk floated down to rest by the door. "Did you want anything that wasn't in your room?" Tonks asked. "I packed up everything magical in the house and everything I found in your room."
"Did you get the stuff under the loose floorboards?"
"Got it," Tonks agreed.
"Then let's get out of here," Harry said as he walked towards the door. "I don't think we'll be seeing each other again," he said to his relatives. "But if we do, I suggest you run."
"Way to go Harry," Tonks laughed after they'd left the door.
"Why'd you save me?" Harry asked bluntly.
"I'm an Auror and a Black," Tonks replied with a grin. "I didn't have a choice."
"What's that mean?"
"I'm sworn to uphold the law as an Auror and to be loyal to the family as a Black," Tonks explained. "What your relatives was doing was illegal and endangered the Head of House Black."
"Head of House Black?"
"Sirius made you his heir," Tonks said as they walked to the corner to summon the Knight Bus. "You get the house, maybe a thousand Galleons, and a spiffy gold plated ring made out of pot-metal . . .but most of the gold plate has worn off so it doesn't look as impressive as it used to."
"No strange powers?" Harry asked with a grin. "No political influence?"
"Mum says her da used to be able to belch the alphabet," Tonks said after a moment of thought. "Don't think that was a power he got from being a Black though . . . why?"
"Just wondering if there was anything to the shite that came out of Draco's mouth every time he talked about being a Malfoy."
"Nope, nothing to it."
"Speaking of shite."
"Yeah?"
"There's a reason you never anger your cook," Harry said with a smirk. "No way was I gonna eat anything I made for them."
"You mean?"
"Every day since I was seven," Harry laughed. "Always made my own meal beforehand."
"Harry."
"Yeah Tonks."
"You're the greatest."
"So where are we going?"
"Uh . . . I didn't think ahead that far," Tonks admitted with a blush. "I just got so angry seeing them that I just acted."
"I suppose I could get a room at the Cauldron," Harry mused.
"I can't let you do that," Tonks said quickly, "why don't you stay with me?"
"If it's not too much trouble . . ."
"No trouble at all," Tonks assured him. "I even have a spare room that you can use."
"If you're sure?"
"I am," Tonks said firmly. "Take my hand." Harry took the Auror's hand and they soon appeared in front of her building. "I'm on the first floor," Tonks said as they walked to her door. "Right this way."
"Ok."
"So here's the place," Tonks said as they walked into her apartment. "It's not much . . . and it's a little dirty."
"Do I smell fresh bread?"
"Uh . . . that's the dishes in the sink," Tonks admitted with a blush. "Started smelling like that a few days ago."
"Oh."
"Here's my room over here." Tonks waved at a door behind a large mound of unidentifiable objects. "And here's the spare room." She grunted with effort as she forced the door open. "It's a bit cluttered but . . ."
"It's fine," Harry said quickly. "Better then what I had at the Dursleys."
"The kitchen's through there, feel free to raid the fridge if you get hungry." Tonks frowned with concentration. "Uh . . . bathroom is that door over there, is there anything else you need?"
"Nope."
"I have to get up for work tomorrow so I hope you don't mind if I go to sleep now."
"I'll be fine."
"Ok . . . wake me if you need anything," Tonks said over her shoulder as she walked into her room.
"I will," Harry agreed. With a yawn of his own, Harry walked into the spare room and dug through a pile of laundry until he found an object resembling a bed.
Tonks awoke not with a bang, but with a groan of protest. Looking at the clock in confusion, her brain franticly attempted to find an explanation on why it was being forced to work so early. A faint creek outside her door alerted her that there were intruders about, instantly her wand appeared in her hand and she crept across the floor like a cat on the stalk.
"Free . . ." She trailed off and her eyes crossed to look at the tip of a wand, two inches from her nose.
"Tonks?" Harry asked in surprise. "Sorry, did I wake you?"
"Forgot I had someone with me," Tonks admitted with a blush. "Nice reflexes."
"You were tired," Harry said modestly.
"What's that smell?" Tonks asked with a frown of confusion.
"I'm making pancakes," Harry explained. "Had to tidy up a bit first, but I figured that you'd appreciate a hot meal."
"A bit?" Tonks muttered in awe, her apartment was cleaner then she'd ever seen it.
"Yeah," Harry said with an embarrassed blush. "I didn't do much, but I was afraid I wouldn't have time to get breakfast done if I did more then a quick once over."
"Where'd you get the things to make pancakes?" Tonks asked suspiciously.
"You had a few things in your cupboards," Harry replied. "So I made pancakes."
"Syrup?"
"Strawberry syrup," Harry said. "Well, mostly strawberry anyway. You had some frozen fruit in the icebox."
"Wow." Tonks fingered her wand with ill intent, there was no way she was going to let Harry escape her clutches. He brought clean, food, and got rid of the mysterious smells. She knew not what dark magic he'd used to accomplish these feats but she'd be damned if she let anyone else know about her wonderful find.
Tonks wandered into work clutching the lunch that Harry had packed for her as if it were the most precious thing in the world. Every few seconds, her eyes would drift to the clock as it slowly ticked down the seconds until lunch . . . until she could rip open the package and gorge herself on the wonderful treats within.
"Auror Tonks," Amelia shouted across the bullpen. "My office, NOW."
"Yes boss," Tonks agreed nervously. Damn it, Harry had been using Dark Magic to get everything done. "Uh I realize that I might have set off the Dark Detectors when I came in," Tonks began as she walked into Amelia's office, "but that's because I . . . was in the interview rooms earlier and it must have rubbed off of me from them."
"What?" Amelia asked flatly.
"That's not what you called me in here for?" Tonks asked weakly.
"It isn't Auror Tonks," Amelia growled.
"Uh . . . just kidding?"
"I called you in here because I learned something from my niece Susan," Amelia said sharply. "I learned that Harry Potter's home life isn't the best and I want to know why some of my Aurors haven't done anything to make it better."
"Moody threatened his relatives," Tonks said sullenly.
"You will take me to Harry Potter's house right now and you will consider yourself under arrest until I've had a chance to inspect the home and speak with his relatives, is that understood Auror Tonks?"
"I can't," Tonks said looking at her feet.
"If this is because of some oath you made to Dumbledore," Amelia began to work up steam. "Then may I remind you that the oath you made when you were commissioned as an Auror . . ."
"It's not that boss," Tonks said quickly.
"Well then?"
"I already . . . sort of . . . took Harry home with me," Tonks said nervously. "He wasn't happy there and they treated him like garbage."
"You kidnapped Harry Potter?"
"He came willingly," Tonks said weakly.
"And you didn't inform me of this why?"
"I was planning to but . . . well . . ."
"I'm listening Auror Tonks."
"Uh . . ." Tonks reached into her pocket and pulled out a small package wrapped in wax paper. "He put this in my lunch," Tonks explained as she unwrapped the paper to reveal a large chunk of home made fudge. "Try it." Amelia broke off a piece and took an experimental sniff. With a sigh of resignation, the woman popped it into her mouth. "Boss . . . BOSS," Tonks shouted in worry after Amelia's eyes rolled back into her head. The older woman began shaking. "Boss wake up." Damn it, she should have known that the Director of Magical Law Enforcement would have a bad reaction to Dark Magic Fudge.
"Oh sweet loving god," Amelia gasped. "He made that? Did he use Dark Magic?"
"Yes and I haven't asked," Tonks said reluctantly. "I'm not sure how he managed to do it . . ."
"This was why you haven't reported what you've done to me?"
"Yes boss," Tonks said shamefully.
"Well this selfish behavior is going to end right now," Amelia said sharply. "You are going to take me to Mr. Potter this instant and we are going to have a long conversation about sharing."
"So I have to bring enough fudge for everyone next time?"
"God no, what gave you that idea?" Amelia laughed. "Then there might not be enough for us."
"Right boss," Tonks said with a sigh of relief. She couldn't go back to half frozen pizza and week old take out, she just couldn't.
IIIIIIIIII
"I'm home Harry," Tonks called out as she walked through the door. "And I brought a guest."
"Good afternoon Madame Bones," Harry said politely.
"Mr. Potter," Amelia replied. "What's that I smell?"
"I have some bread baking," Harry replied. "I thought fresh bread would go good with dinner."
"Is there enough for Susan and myself to join you?"
"I'd have to go shopping," Harry said thoughtfully. "But it shouldn't be any trouble to make more."
"Give Auror Tonks a list of everything you need," Amelia said instantly.
"Um . . . I'd rather go myself," Harry said with an embarrassed smile. "Tonks is great but I'm not sure she knows how to pick the best quality things."
"Quality?"
"Yeah," Harry agreed. "I'm afraid that the food hasn't been to my usual standards . . . take the fudge I made earlier . . ."
"You could make it better?" Amelia asked intently.
"You tried it then?" Harry asked in surprise.
"It was wonderful," Amelia purred, lost in the memory of chocolate delight.
"You don't have to say that," Harry said quickly. "My feelings won't be hurt if you tell the truth. I almost didn't include it since it was so bad, but I didn't want to waste it so . . ."
"Auror Tonks," Amelia snapped.
"Yes boss?"
"Get the Dignitary Protection unit here now," Amelia ordered. "Only the most reliable members."
"O'Banion, Rose, and Perks?"
"Add Flint to that list," Amelia said thoughtfully.
"Flint? But her family . . ."
"Is her family, I have a way of keeping her loyal." Amelia said thinking of Harry's delightful creations.
"Yes boss."
"Are they going to be joining us for dinner?" Harry asked.
"Would it be too much trouble?" Amelia asked with a worried frown.
"Not unless they eat more then my relatives," Harry mused. "I'd have to start cooking quickly if they were."
"Hurry Auror Tonks."
"I'm gone boss," Tonks said as she ran out the door.
After Tonks had left, Amelia made a slow inspection of the apartment. "Not bad," she mused. "But not secure enough to risk it either."
"Ma'am?"
"You can only use obscurity to protect something in the short term," Amelia explained. "Auror Tonks has done wonders, but I'm afraid that you won't be able to stay here for long."
"Oh," Harry said in disappointment. "I had hoped . . . I guess it doesn't matter."
"You wish to stay with Auror Tonks then?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Then I'll have her accompany us," Amelia said with a smile.
"Us ma'am?"
"People expect my house to be a fortress," Amelia explained. "And call me Amelia."
"Ok ma'am . . . I mean Amelia," he added hastily at her sharp look.
"I'm going to be assigning Tonks and several members of the Dignitary Protection Unit to your security," Amelia continued. "Officially they will be guarding my house, un-officially they will be guarding you. If you don't mind, I'd also like to have them evaluate you on Defense Against the Dark Arts. Susan scored rather high on your OWLs and she attributes that to your tutelage."
Tonks ended the conversation by walking in with a few unfamiliar women. "Got 'em all here for you boss."
"Thank you Auror Tonks," Amelia said kindly. "Harry, do you have anymore of that chocolate?"
"Just the cake I made for desert today," Harry said regretfully. "It's not much, but it's better then my attempt at making fudge."
"Could you bring it in please and then I'm afraid that I'm going to have to ask you to wait in the other room."
"I understand Madame Bones."
"I'm sorry Harry but until you become an Auror, I'm going to have to keep some things from you. Even then, I may have to because you do not have the need to know. Aside from that, didn't I tell you to call me Amelia?"
"It's fine Amelia," Harry was careful to say the woman's name. "I understand, really."
"Thank you Harry." Amelia said. The Auror section kept silent as Harry took a cake out of the icebox and placed it on the counter.
"I'll just be in the other room then."
"I'll be as quick as I can," Amelia called after him. "Auror Flint."
"Yes Madame Bones?"
"I am going to assign Auror Tonks and your section to Harry Potter's security, any objections."
"Yes Madame Bones," the woman agreed. "Auror regulations prohibit . . ."
"Why don't you try the cake first?"
With an annoyed sigh, the Auror reluctantly reached out and scraped off a bit of frosting with her finger and plopped it in her mouth. "Oooooooohhh." Her eyes rolled up into her head and she began panting. "Oh yes . . . yes . . .YEEEESSSSSS."
"Harry made that," Amelia said smugly. "Now what were those objections?"
"As I was saying," the woman gasped. "Auror regulations strictly prohibit protecting civilians, but to hell with them. They also say we have to protect Fudge with our lives and I'll do that when hell freezes over."
The other Aurors shared a confused glance before taking their own tastes of the cake. Several minutes of uncontrollable undulation later, they both came to the conclusion that they too would die to protect 'the-boy-who-cooked.'
"Fetch Harry Auror Tonks," Amelia ordered. "We have shopping to do."
Five minutes later, a team of determined Aurors stormed into the largest magical grocer in England.
"May I have your attention please," Auror Flint screamed as she walked into the grocer. "Put your un-purchased items on the floor and leave in an orderly manner. You will be permitted to resume shopping after this store has been inspected."
"What's the problem dear?" Molly Weasley asked as she filed past Tonks.
"Just playing it safe," Tonks whispered to her fellow Order member. "Can't say too much."
"I understand dear," Molly whispered back. "Good luck and be safe."
"Thank you Mrs. Weasley."
AN: I accidentally grew a culture of yeast in my dirty dishes a few weeks ago, kinda proud of that and I had to include it.
Omake: Voldemort attacks the Bones House
"For the fudge," the Aurors screamed as they leapt into battle. They'd die before they let the Dark Lord steal their chef . . . er, that is to say hurt Harry.
Voldemort was stunned, he had no idea that there was so much loyalty to the Minister in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Calling on his forces to withdraw, he left the field of battle. Amelia Bones had just dropped to the bottom of his people to kill list, Fudge on the other hand had just risen to the top. Any man who could inspire that sort of fanatic loyalty was a obstacle to the Dark Lord, and as any chinese amazon could tell you; 'Obstacles are for killing.'
Omake: Interrogation
"Have a seat Bella," Amelia said with a grin.
"Burn in hell Auror."
"Is that any way to talk to an old classmate?" Amelia said with a grin. "Flint, Tonks, hold her down." Amelia got up and walked around the table to the struggling woman and with two fingers she pinched Bellatrix nose closed. "You can't hold your breath forever Bella," she cooed. When at last, the Death Eater opened her mouth, Amelia was ready. Seizing her chance, Amelia forced one of Harry's chocolate truffles into the evil woman's mouth.
"She's not struggling anymore boss," Tonks reported.
"I think you can let her go Aurors," Amelia said with a grin. "Now then Bella, was there something you wanted to tell me?"
"I'll do anything," Bella said with tears flowing down her face. "ANYTHING to get more of that."
"I rather thought you might say something like that," Amelia said smugly.
Omake: Assimilation
Hermione being the daughter of two dentists had a rather low pleasure threshold when it came to sweets, that's why it was no surprise to the girls in the know when Hermione's eyes rolled into the back of her head and the girl fell to the floor moaning in ecstasy,
"Wait until she gets a bit of the good stuff," Susan said with a smirk.
"She's ours," Hanna agreed.
Omake by Max
After Harry's mysterious disappearance from the Dursleys, Dumbledore immediately called an emergency Order meeting and announced the troubling news.
The greasy git, er- professor couldn't keep his trap shut "Obviously, the brat ran away."
Ignoring the gibe, Dumbledore turned to their resident metamorphagous, "Nympha-"
"Hey!" a now red-headed Tonks yelled.
"Ms. Tonks, you were the last one to see Harry. Do you have any idea where he might have gone?"
After some thought, the Auror responded, "Well, he might have expressed some interest in America." 'It could be true' she defended in her mind.
Dumbledore gained a distressed look and announced to the Order, "I cannot tell you all how imperative it is that we find Harry. His safety is paramount."
Tonks watched silently as their "esteemed" leader drafted amazingly complex and elaborate plans all aimed at finding Harry halfway across the world. Only when he got to her did she speak up, "Um, sorry Headmaster but I can't take any more work off without losing my job" 'Also not necessarily a lie.'
"I'm sorry to hear the Nymha- er Tonks." Dumbledore corrected at her once-again rising ire. "Then we won't take up any more of your time so you can get back to your job."
"Thanks, I have alot of work to." Tonks replies before making a quick exit and apparating away.
Tonks reappeared not at the Ministry but back at her home. She was ecstatic to see it now completely spotless AND an absolutely divine smell was coming out of her kitchen. "Hi Hon- Harry, I'm home. What's for dinner?"
Harry came out of the kitchen holding a pot of steaming food, "It's nothing much, just pasta cooked in some red wine with a couple other things thrown in."
Tonks was sure Harry had said something but she was too busy trying to figure out how Harry could have possibly made something so good from whatever crap was in what could only recently be called a
kitchen.
Harry noticed that she wasn't paying attention and went ahead and served the food on the already set table.
'Since when did I have dishes?' Tonks thought as she sat down at a table she didn't recognize. 'Or a dining room table?'
As Tonks dug into the food with a gusto, Harry voiced the question that had been on his mind all day. "So, how was the meeting, did Dumbledore order me to be dragged back to the Dursleys yet?"
Any doubts in Tonks' were silenced once she tasted this gourmet quality food. Donning a look of not-quite-completely-genuine sympathy, Tonks replied "Sorry Harry, he did, and he might have told Snape to use "any means necessary."
Harry's face darkened, "I guess he figured being laid up in the hospital wing for a couple weeks will encourage me to be a good little slave and stay at Privet Drive."
"Don't worry Harry; you got me looking out for you. They're all looking for you in America."
"Really?" Harry asked with a look of glee.
"Yep, now you just need to help me set up some more wards around this place so they can track you."
"Won't the Ministry detect me using magic?"
Tonks adopted a smug grin "I know a couple tricks around that until you help me set up more permanent wards."
"So I can use magic all summer?"
Tonks nodded, "Just remember, I could get in a lot of trouble for this, so please don't leave this place without me."
Harry was quick to reassure the young woman who was helping him so much, "Don't worry I promise not to go out, I'd never do anything to get you in trouble, especially when you're helping me so much."
"Great, now since you're apparently done..."
Harry reddened and defended, "Well, I had to eat fast or not at all at the Dursleys."
Tonks' look of sympathy was now completely real and some of her previous anger returned. Of course this didn't sway her from her plans. "Don't worry about it Harry; you aren't going to be leaving here as long as I have anything to say about it"
Ever dense, Harry missed the slightly nefarious overtone. "Thanks Tonks, you're a true friend. So, you're really going to let me help with the wards?"
"Of course, between the two of us, they'll have enough power behind them to keep just about anyone out... or in." Tonks finished quietly.
This Harry did not miss; years at the Dursleys made him hypersensitive to his environment. "In?" Harry repeated.
"Nothing! Just Auror-thinking stuff." Tonks quickly replied in a seemingly innocent tone while pulling out a book with several pages marked. "Here's some of the wards I want to put up. Why don't you get
familiar with them while I lie down?"
Harry eagerly took the book and started flipping through it as Tonks walked over to her sofa with a hand on her happy stomach.
"Um Tonks, why is this one called the "Incarceration Ward?"
Having already anticipated such questions, Tonks replied without missing a beat, "Because they'll attack anyone who might try to take you out of here."
"Oh well, I guess that makes since."
Tonks just laid down and stretched out in comfort across the length of her sofa. She then turned her head to look over at the silver and green prefect badge lying on her mantle. 'Yep, I'm glad I listened to
that old hat.'
A "ding" from the kitchen cut off Tonks' thoughts.
Harry responded before she could ask. "That's dessert, I hope you like creme brulee."
A couple low-powered Incendio spells later and Tonks had a new favorite dessert and under her tutelage, Harry was now helping erect the very wards that would ensure he never left without her permission.
While Tonks continued to "selflessly" help Harry, she was also reevaluating her original plan just keeping Harry as just a cook and maid. 'Hmm, he cooks, he cleans, and I can get him to do whatever I
want. Plus if what Fred and George said about that Cho girl is true, he likes older women.'
Harry soon found it much more difficult to cast wards when he kept accidently brushing against his casting partner. 'Were her clothes always that tight?'
Omake by meteoricshipyards
"Ah, Nymph..."
"Watch it!"
"Miss Tonks. Er, please put down that wand, I only want to talk to you.
"Kingsley tells me that you have some vacation time coming up."
"Yes, two weeks in Monte Carlo. I've had the booking for almost a year. And rooms at the Royale don't come cheap."
""If I were to reimburse you for your trouble and the money you've already put into your vacation, could I convince you to spend your time in America looking for Harry."
"Possibly. Where would I look?"
"Let me show you the map of where we've searched."
Tonks took a moment to study the map. "How about I search that city?"
"Thank you, NymPPPPP! Pardon, me, Miss Tonks. I'll mark that city as being searched and await your report when you get back."
"Please forward me the money as soon as possible, and I'll make the travel arrangements, Professor."
"Of course, NNNnnn -- Miss Tonks."
Omake The One Who Bakes by Glen Hulbert
We are Aurors.
We walk in the dark alleys no other witch will enter.
We stand on the bridge, and no spell may pass.
We live for the fudge, we die for the fudge.
"Err, Boss."
Amelia Bones looked up from her desk to the three witches standing in her office doorway. She had a pretty good idea what this was about.
"Yes?"
"Well...some of us were wondering about the Minister's new protection detail"
"Hmm" Hah, spot on. She should really reward herself for being right. Perhaps one of Harry's little caramel pecan tarts. Her eyes almost shivered closed at the mere though. No, no. Focus, old girl, focus. Work now, heaven later! She barely managed to drag her attention back to the three witches as they continued.
"Err, it just that, well, you rearranged all the teams yesterday, splitting up some long standing partnerships, just so Fudge has all-male protection. Granted, some of them are fairly good, but most of the ministry's top female Aurors are just sitting in the office today. You always have a good reason for the decisions you make, but some of us are wondering if something big is going on"
Perfect, Amelia thought. She pointed at the chairs in front of her desk. "Sit."
While the three Aurors scrambled for chairs, trying to figure out how much trouble they were in, Amelia walked out of her office and over to her pink haired co-conspirator's desk.
"Auror Tonks," she said, catching the young woman's eye. "Gather them, it's time."
Tonks nodded solemnly, but her eyes gleamed with anticipation.
Returning to her office, Amelia started casting spells.
A little over half-an-hour later, Amelia's now greatly expanded office was packed with every female auror and hit-witch employed by the ministry.
They watched as she put up a series of security and privacy wards around the office, before opening her most secure, top-secret safe and removing one of the semi-translucent plastic containers within. Placing it on her desk, she carefully removed the lid and gazed, reverently, at what lay within.
One of the senior Aurors, Stoneham, a 40-year street-auror with even more combat experience than Mad-Eye Moody, was curious. The look on her boss's face was disconcerting. Never, in all the years she had known Bones, had she seen her affected this way.
She leaned forward to have a look, and blinked. It was nearly full of small white cubes. The cubes appeared to have dark swirls running through them.
"Is that fudge?"
"NO!," snapped Amelia, outraged. She shut her eyes, and took several long, deep, calming breaths. It's not their fault. They didn't know. They couldn't possible know that the dishes of unearthly pleasure Harry put together from whatever Tonks had in her fridge were as nothing compared to his creations of divinity when he had access to any and every top of the range ingredient he wished.
"No," she said in a hushed tone, "this is not mere fudge. This is white chocolate and hazelnut praline fudge. This is fudge made by the hand of The-Boy-Who-Cooked. This is paradise on earth."
She quickly conjured some small paper plates and levitated two pieces of fudge onto each. A quick flick of her wand and each auror had a plate in hand.
"Eat," she ordered.
Seeing the hesitant looks from the Aurors at her atypical behavior, she pulled out her wand.
"I, Amelia Bones, do swear on my life and my magic that nothing detrimental will occur from eating this fudge. so mote it be."
The glow of a true oath that briefly surrounded her reassured the Aurors, who started to eat.
The groans and gasps of pleasure that filled the office for the next few minutes left Amelia Bones shaking in her chair. It was only her iron self-control, and a death grip on the arms of her chair, that prevented her from taking a piece for herself. She dare not even touch the fudge, lest she be consumed, as the others had.
As the Aurors started pulling themselves together from an experience completely outside of anything they'd ever imagined, a few of the tougher one's were wondering which of their fellows to hex first, so that they could get the few remaining pieces left. Hands started creeping towards wands.
They froze as their boss cleared her throat.
"I should point out something else," she said, her voice carrying a more than a slight tremor. "This fudge is also low calorie and fat reduced. By about 95 percent, in fact."
This thought was too much for the assembled women, and they collapsed in orgasmic bliss. Even the most hard-boiled, like Stoneham, were curled up in their chairs, shivering, eyes glazed-over. A few of the younger ones had completely passed-out on the floor, looking like boneless puddles of pleasure.
Amelia's rapidly fraying willpower finally snapped. Before she even realized, her hand had snatched up a piece of fudge. She had one last though before her world dissolved.
They are his now. They will keep him safe. No harm shall befall The One.
Omake by davidiusbrown
The One...
"There is no spoon. There is no spoon. There is no..."
"I'll get you one, Harry."
"No, me. I'll do it."
"You wouldn't know the best spoon to get, hussy."
"As if you would? You've never baked anything - except that time you found that peculiar strain of muggle grass."
"Oh yeah. It didn't taste anything like real grass, at least the kind you find in a tin of Bertie Bott's."
Five minutes later, Harry's kitchen counter had many, many new spoons, and a cellophane bag full of a new strange ingredient.
"Maybe I'll make brownies..."
Omake by moshehim
Susan was hungry. She went down the corridor through DMLE to her aunt's office (her parents left her in her aunt's care for the day) to ask her if she wanted to go out for launch. She reached the office and knocked on the door.
No one answered. So she opened the door and peaked in.
No one was there. Susan turned and was about to leave, when the sweets, most fragrant smell reached her nose. She turned again and took a closer look at the office. Following her nose, she ebded by a small box. Looking in the box, she found it contained fudge. Since she was really, really hungry, she decided to have some - sure that her aunt wouldn't mind. Unless... no, it wouldn't be a sample of something poisonous, her aunt wouldn't have that in her office, certainly not on the shelves. It would go to underlings, and they'd keep that kind of things on their desks.
So she had some.
Then she had some more.
Then she had some more. And more. And more.
Soon there was no fudge left. 'I got to ask Auntie where she got that fantastic fudge' she thought. SHe'd have to tell Hanna about it - and her mother - she was a conditor, after all, she'd like to know about that magnificent creation of the kitchen.
"I wanted to thank you, Mrs. Weasley, for all the fudge you sent me over the years, so I made you some... fudge! Myself! Thanks a lot, and enjoy, Harry Potter." Molly read. the poor boy was ever so
nice. Well, she was sure the fudge was good, but hers most certainly better. Well, the kids might enjoy it. "Ginny, Ron," she called out, "Have some fudge!"
"Ah, aunt Cissy!" Tonks called. "Are you here for the will?"
"Yes, Nymphadore." replied her aunt, scathingly.
Nymphadora, for that's what she was called, seethed inside. She hated that name, and her aunt knew that. And she knew her aunt knew, and her aunt knew she knew she knew, and she couldn't do anything
about it without losing face. And her aunt knew she knew she knew she knew she knew, which made it even worse! Still, she must be polite, under these circumstances, at this time and place, kept her
decorum. So, "Here, aunt, want some fudge?"
Narcissa wanted to decline. Eat some filth the mudbloods and blood traitors whipped up? They didn't even have the grace to have house elves. No doubt, this was some more of the rubbish her third cousin,
Molly, made. Imagine that, slaving around her house like she was the elf, rather then the master... mistress... whatever. Still, under these circumstances, at this time and place, she had to keep
up a polite guise, maintain a civilized decorum, so she inclined her head and made her way to the table holding the fudge. She hesitated before picking any, but then a smell caught her attention. 'Strange', she thought, a few of of the cups holding the fudge were smelling much better then the others. So she picked one and disdainfully ate it. Then she picked a second and ate it too, then a third, then a forth fifth and sixth, and ate them as well, her disdain long gone.
Who knew Molly was such great a cook? Maybe she'd hire her in the house elves stead?
She picked the seventh, and last - she noted sorrowfully - of the good fudge - and ate it as well. 'Wait a moment', she thought. 'Does the fudge have dark magic in it? By Merlin! it does! No way Molly Weasley made it.' She just had to find out who it was - and have some more!
She was sure Bella would appreciate a good evil fudge too...
Cynthia Calvert went into the room. Her friend, Porschia, Hermione's little sister, went to the rest room, and Cynthia opted to spend the time on one of her favorite pastimes, annoying Porschia's sister
Hermione. So she went to her room, ostensibly to ask her something, Hermione wasn't there. What was there, however, that caught Cynthia's attention, was a box of fudge. And a large one, at
that.
'Oh', Cynthia smirked, 'Hermione is going to be in so much trouble...' She never liked the uppity girl, but she was her friend's sister, and she had to put up with her. So she took the box and went down to tell Hermione's mum about it. She was a dentist, and dentists didn't like sweets. Especially not these dentists. And cynthia was sure Hermione's punishment would be harsh and severe - her mother was a dentist, after all.
"And you found it in Hermione's room, you say?" asked Emma. "Hmmm.. that's not very nice of Hermione, not sharing it with me."
"What?" Cythia couldn't believe it. Instead of rebuking and punishing Hermione for having fudge, Emma Granger actually ate it herself. And moaned with pleasure. 'must be a really good fudge if she didn't get angry."
'Give me that," she said, scowling, took the box of fudge, and commenced to taste it. It really was good. It really was that good! she moaned in pleasure.
Right then Porschia came down the stairs to see what the commotion, and all the moans were about. What she found astounded her. Her mother and her friend eating fudge! Candy! In her house! Something weird was going on. Then she heard Cynthia moan "It really is that good!"
'Well,' thought Porschia, 'got to use the opportunity and have some herself'.If she was Hermione, her thoughts would be more along the lines of "Carpe Deum!" or something simillar, but she wasn't - she was cool, and popular, nothing like her nerdy sister. Still- A moment later she was moaning in pleasure, agreeing with Cynthia wholeheartedly. It really was that good!
Just then the door to the kitchen opened, and Licinia, Porschia's older - oldest - sister, came in. She only arrived back home from her first year in Cambridge the previous day, and was now surprised to see how much things have changed in her absence - her mother and sister - and a guest - were all eating candy - fudge - in their own kitchen! That she must see for herself... and smell... and taste...
"Better not have dad find about it" said Porschia. They all quite agreed on that - better not have Dan find out they were all sabotaging their dental health -in his own home, non the least .A collective shudder went through them. The man was not an oral surgeon for nothing, after all. So they decided to finish all the fudge there and get rid of the evidence. Not, that there was any debate about it. Only Cynthia, who had some nasty traits, opted to keep some for later, when she could taunt her sister - her twin sister with the sweet
tooth - with eating the best fudge in the world and not sharing it.
She didn't recon on her twin simply taking it forcefully from her hand and hastily swallowing it whole... Boy, that girl could swallow...
"We are Aurors.
We walk in the dark alleys no other witch will enter.
We stand on the bridge, and no spell may pass.
We live for the fudge, we die for the fudge." hummed one auror.
"Oh, yes, fudge's pure orgasm!" agreed another.
One of the assless chaps who was spying on the aurors for Lord Voldemort heard them. Maybe, maybe Fudge batted the other way as well? He dared hope. And if not, well, they were Death Eaters, they'd just take what they want. And when they tired, they could deliver the minister to their master, that'll make him happy. Perhaps happy enough to crucio them a little? So he decided. They were going to kidnap Fudge.
Plan in mind, the assless chap went to find his friends and tell them about it. His master wouldn't be happy with him for abandoning his post, but that was more important for the cause... and if his
master was angry enough - maybe he would crucio him good a little?