Disclaimer: You can't pick your relatives, so you must console yourself with the thought that you can you can kill them.
Luna Malfoy Lovegood
"Harry, may I have a word with you in private?" Luna asked as the DA meeting drew to a close.
"Sure Luna," Harry agreed. "What is it?"
Well." Luna waited quietly until the last student had left the room. "I was wondering if you'd be interested in significantly weakening Voldemort's forces?"
"How?"
"As many as three murders and as few as one," Luna replied. "Depending on your godfather."
"Why don't you explain?" Harry said, it was not a request.
"You know how important Lucius Malfoy is to to Voldemort don't you?" Luna asked intently. "Wars are won by gold after all . . ."
"And Malfoy has a lot of gold," Harry sighed. "So you're saying we should kill him?"
"At a minimum," Luna agreed. "Unless you can find a way to neutralize Narcissa and Draco without killing them then they will have to go as well."
"I take it that you have a way to do that don't you?" Harry asked calmly, Luna had dropped her mask and Harry figured that it would be polite to do the same.
"Your godfather Sirius is the head of the Black family," Luna explained. "If he were to relinquish his position to you then you would have the power do dissolve Lucius's marriage to Narcissa."
"Why?"
"It was a political match to enhance the power of both families, the Malfoy is a rich and upcoming house while the Black family is on the decline. Lucius could of course remarry Narcissa or adopt Draco into his family unless . . ."
"He was dead," Harry sighed.
"The timing would be the tricky part," Luna mused. "It would all have to be done in the same day . . . in the same hour if possible."
"What would happen to the Malfoy fortune then?" Harry asked.
"It would go to the closest blood relative, Lucius Malfoy's niece . . . me."
"You?"
"Lucius was my mother's older brother," Luna said with a cold smile. "I won't miss him."
"I see."
"Not to mention the fact that it will cause my poor cousin Draco no end to trouble when his status as a pureblood is gone."
"Really, how? Won't he still be a pureblood."
"Well . . . Harry, the first thing you have to know is that there are different levels of pureblood. Status is based on a combination of money and how long you can trace your magical line. The Potter family for example is about the middle of both, while the Weasley family has a long line but no money."
"What about the Malfoy family?"
"High on money but it's a relatively new family," Luna replied. "Which is why Lucius married Narcissa, the Black family has no money but the Ancient in their motto is not just for show like the noble is. Lucky thing really, if it weren't for that then we wouldn't be able to go through with this plan."
"What do you mean?"
"The marriage of Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black sealed the alliance between the families," Luna explained. "Breaking the alliance would cause some . . . bad things to happen, very bad things. You can, or I should say that you'd be able as Head of House Black, dissolve Narcissa and Lucius's marriage. You would then have to arrange a new marriage between a member of House Black and House Malfoy."
"What?"
"You could marry me . . . or have Sirius do it I suppose," Luna mused. "If we do things correctly then Draco will be frozen out and the only person able to fulfill the agreement on the Malfoy side is me. The only ones on the other side are yourself and Sirius . . . unless Nymphadora can transform all the way, I'm not sure if that would work but it's a possibility."
"We have to get married?"
"I have to get married," Luna corrected. "You have a bit of wiggle room, I'd prefer it to be you but . . ."
"I need to think about this," Harry said with a shudder. "I can't just . . . I need to think about this."
"I understand Harry," Luna sighed in disappointment. "But please agree, even if you don't want me yourself, please agree to this."
"Why is this so important to you?"
"Because by and large, Malfoys don't die in accidents."
"I don't . . . your mother?"
"Was a threat," Luna agreed. "And so were you and so am I."
"Me?"
"Sirius named you his heir about a week after you were born," Luna said calmly. "Lucius lost the court case to have his son named heir to the Black family the week before my mother died . . . as chance would have it, he also stopped petitioning to have Sirius given the kiss the same week."
"You're saying he's responsible for Sirius being put in Azkaban?" Harry asked intently. "And for the death of your mum?"
"I'm saying that members of the Malfoy family don't tend to die in accidents," Luna said firmly. "And that that was a particularly convenient week for my dear Uncle. I'm not saying any more then that, I will say however that it was what convinced the Hat to put me in Ravenclaw."
"Why?"
"Slytherin Luna is a threat, but not a large one. With Snape in control of the house she won't be difficult to break or dispose of," Luna spoke in an odd tone. "Gryffindor Luna is just as bad, courageous but also a black mark on the Malfoy name, she'll have to come to some misfortune. Hufflepuff Luna is also bad, but since she never really had friends it wasn't much of a possibility. Ravenclaw Luna on the other hand . . . she's not as bad as the other three but she'll have to work to convince the world that she's harmless, not too hard mind you, Ravenclaws have now common sense and wouldn't look under the surface of something if they didn't have to."
So that's why you're always doing odd things," Harry said.
"Loony Lovegood isn't a threat," Luna explained with a shrug. "And no one takes her seriously, you'd be surprised what people will say around you when they think you won't understand what they say. Much the same way that innocent and good Harry gets overlooked, no one questions it."
"I'm in," Harry said suddenly. He smiled, it wasn't a nice smile, it was the smile of a boy who'd spent ten years living in a cupboard and working as a slave. "I presume you have a plan . . . wife?"
"Not yet beloved," Luna giggled. "I can't wait to see the look on Draco's face when he realizes he doesn't have a name."
"What's that mean?"
"Like I said before, there are different levels of pureblood. When the marriage is dissolved then Draco looses the Malfoy name, unless you're willing to take him into the Black family then he drops to the lowest rung of the pureblood pecking order."
"So what am I then?" Harry asked. "I thought since I was a half blood that . . ." he trailed off upon seeing her smile.
"You're different," Luna said with a frown. "You're a wild card, one can insert you into any level without too much difficulty. One must remember that you are not simply Harry Potter, you are also 'the-boy-who-lived' and that is a title that carries quite a bit of weight."
"I see, so where do we start?"
"You're going to need at least one mistress," Luna mused. "I've worked up a short list of possible candidates but the decision is of course yours."
"Why do I need a mistress?" Harry demanded.
"Social standing," Luna explained. "You don't actually have to do anything with her . . . or him I suppose, but you need to maintain at least one to show that you can afford the expense."
"What about you?"
"It's tolerated so long as I'm discreet and wait until after your heir is born," Luna replied. "It's accepted after your heir has a heir of his own, why do you ask?"
"What?"
"Oh Harry, I wasn't planning to have a boyfriend on the side. You don't have to worry about that."
"Then why do you want me to have a girl on the side?" Harry demanded.
"I told you," Luna sighed in exasperation. "Social standing. You'll look like a saint if you marry poor Looney Lovegood, you'll look like an idiot if you don't have someone on the side to keep you relaxed."
"Why should I care about social standing?" Harry said with what Luna thought to be an adorable pout.
"Because like it or not you are an icon," Luna explained. "If we can provide you as an alternate to Voldemort then I'm sure we can get at least a few of the families to side with you, if we can start a credible rumor that one of Voldemort's grand parents was a muggle or something along those lines then we may be able to lure a few families away from his side. None of that is possible if you don't go through the correct motions."
"Why?"
"Because the more people on our side the faster this war will end in our favor," Luna said in exasperation. "The less we have the faster it will end in their favor."
"No, I mean why should we start a rumor that one of Voldemort's grandparents was a muggle?"
"Because it'll make him less palatable to the purebloods," Luna said slowly. "Would you like me to explain that?"
"Why should we start a rumor if we can prove that one of his parents was a muggle?"
"What?" Luna asked in shock.
"His father was a muggle," Harry said. "Didn't you know that?"
"You can prove this?" She asked intently.
"Shouldn't be too difficult," Harry agreed.
"Oh . . ." Luna went cross eyed and she shuddered in pleasure. "Harry, you know just what to say to a girl don't you?"
IIIIIIIIII
For the past several days, Hermione had been alternating between annoyed and confused. Harry had been acting odd and spending a lot of time around Luna. At first she'd figured that the two of them had finally discovered their hormones and she was honestly happy that they had picked up a new hobby. But then she started noticing little things that threw off her original theory and that made her confused. Hermione had always hated being confused so that made her annoyed, after calming she again considered her friend's odd behavior which made her confused and restarted the entire cycle. So it was no surprise that she had jumped at the chance when Harry had requested that she make time for a serious discussion, the fact that the discussion with Luna Lovegood with all people was threatening to push her into confusion again.
"Have a seat please," Luna said as Hermione walked into the room. "Did Harry tell you why I wished to meet with you?"
"No Luna," Hermione replied. Automatically, her hand reached for her wand, whoever this was it was not Luna Lovegood. "He didn't." Well, she thought, that explained that.
"I am Luna, Hermione," Luna said. "And you should learn to hide your emotions better . . . I had to."
"Oh." Hermione relaxed a tad. Making sure to keep her wand accessible, she regarded the other girl with a guarded look. "What's this about Luna?"
"Harry is going to marry me" Luna said calmly. "I wanted to know if you would like a position in our household."
"What?" Hermione squawked.
"It's because of an arrangement between our families," Luna explained. "The benefits are rather large and consiquences of ignoring it are rather dire."
"That's barbaric." Hermione was appalled.
"Barbaric or not, it's what is going to happen." Luna sighed. "Hermione, I would like you to promise to hear me out."
"About what Luna?"
"Promise."
"Ok, I promise to listen to you."
"Good," Luna said with a satisfied smile. "Now as I said, I'd like you to consider taking a position in our household. Harry has grown to depend on your assistance and I do not believe that he could live without it at this time, before you agree you should know that no matter what your title might be, people will assume that you are Harry's mistress."
"Luna I'd never . . ."
"Don't say never," Luna interrupted. "Because one of the positions I'd like you to consider taking is the position of Harry's mistress . . . one of them anyway."
"Mistress?" Hermione squeaked.
"It's expected that a wizard of his social standing will have at least one mistress," Luna said calmly. "Or a stable of boys I suppose . . . it's not important which. Before you say anything, I think you should know that you don't actually have to do anything and you would have several opportunities that would otherwise not exist."
"What do you mean by opportunities?"
"A muggleborn which can marry, may be able to find a low level position in the Ministry if she knows who to be 'friendly' to, leave the magical world as most do, or become the kept woman of a rich wizard. If she chooses the latter then several career choices open up to her. Wouldn't want to annoy her patron after all."
"I had no idea that magical society was so . . . so . . ."
"Bigoted? Insular? Backward?" Luna suggested. "Didn't you ever wonder why Arthur Weasley held the position he did? Didn't you ever wonder why our Muggle Studies Professor was a proper pureblood rather then a muggle born?"
"It never . . . I didn't . . ."
"You were too distracted by how wonderful magic is and you never thought to look under the surface," Luna said gently. "All I am saying is that Harry needs you, you wouldn't have to . . . to do things with him if you didn't want to, and it would be to your benefit to agree to my proposal."
"You're supposed to be his wife Luna," Hermione said in distress. "Why are you asking me to do these things?"
"Our match is not based on love," Luna began. Suddenly the girl looked very vulnerable. "I hope it will be . . . I certainly like Harry, he . . . he was nice to me when not many people are. I want Harry to be happy to be with me and I want to defeat Voldemort, your presence will help with both of those goals."
AN: While this could be a harem fic I don't see it as one. The mistress thing does have some basis in history which is why I included it, if this ever got written I'd have to remember to include several other things that serve only to prove social standing such as owning an expensive country home, being a patron of the arts, or any number of classical Victorian occupations for Gentlemen of means. If you don't show how rich you are then you loose points.
Mini Omake: Luna
Luna took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. Harry had given her something she'd never thought she'd be able to achieve on her own, something she'd wanted since she was a small girl. He'd given her a means to avenge her mother. Luna Lovegood was an odd girl by all accounts, but she always paid her debts and as far as she was concerned, she owed Harry everything. With a silent nod, she resolved to do everything in her power to make their match a happy one. Even if her friend was trapped in a loveless marriage, it didn't mean he couldn't have diversions
Omake: Gabrielle
"Ello 'Arrie," a strange girl with platinum hair said with an angry frown. "Did you think I 'ouldn't find out?"
"Who . . . find out what?"
"Why did you not contact me 'Arrie?" The girl flipped from angry to sad in the blink of an eye. "Am I not good enough for you?"
"Gabrielle?" Harry ventured.
"Yes 'Arrie," the girl agreed. "Well?"
"You've grown up," Harry said with a grin. "What are you angry about?"
"Why did you not contact me?" The girl demanded. "If you wanted a mistresses then I 'ould be 'appy to fill the position . . . any position you like."
"I . . . but . . . huh?"
AN: Something to be thrown in if it were a harem fic. Gonna have to do more with Gabrielle in the future, she can be a fun character.
Omake by Sergey Tsvetkov
"Harry has to get a mistress?" Hermione was furious.
An hour, many words and a couple or 'Reparos' later...
"Ooo-key, Harry'll need a mistress." Hermione stated. "We need to research it and make a list."
"You are right. But I've made a list already."
"Let me..." Hermione snatched a scroll from Luna's hand. "Hmmm... Not bad... Good choice... This one would not work... mmm... Luna?"
"Yes, Hermione?"
"Uhm... Is there a reason why I am not listed? Not that I'm interested, just curious..."
"Well... For Harry you could be a good choice. And the fact that you are muggleborn is also in favor. But I don't think that you'd have made a good mistress. Being mistress requires certain education, certain qualifications..."
"What... Education? Not qualified? Are you saying..."
Luna smiled. The problem of the mistress has been solved.
Omake by Ben Russell-Gough
"Ron? This might sound odd but... How would you and Dean like to be my muscle? The way I see it, you are both individually smarter than Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle put together /and/ are nice, big lads. I think you would be ideal combinations of visible menace and actual ability."