Disclaimer: Rather short I think.
Accidents Will Happen
Harry walked into the Hospital wing with an amused expression on his face, marking it one of the few times that he'd entered without needing treatment.
"You called for me Madame Pomfrey?" Harry asked politely.
"Yes I did," the school nurse agreed with an uncomfortable look on her face, "it seems that Ms. Lovegood has suffered an . . . accident I believe the Headmaster called it."
"And what do you call it?" Harry demanded, his face could have been chiseled out of stone.
"An attack," she replied with a frown, "it seem that she decided not to put up with the treatment that she'd been subjected to before."
"And Dumbledore says that it was an accident?"
"He says that he does not believe that the intended for things to go so far," Poppy said with a frown of distaste, "Ms. Lovegood has been asking for you."
"Would you deliver a message to the Head of Ravenclaw House for me please?"
"Yes of course," she agreed quickly.
"From this moment on, I will regard any attack on Luna Lovegood as an attack on myself and I will react accordingly. If the person or persons that perpetrated this attack are not dealt with to my satisfaction within twenty four hours then I will deal with them myself."
"I will be happy to pass that along," Poppy said with a serene smile, "would you be so good as to sit with Ms. Lovegood until I return?"
"Of course Professor."
"Have her take the red potion in half an hour and the green ten minutes after that. I put her in your bed so . . . just walk away from me," she sighed as Harry abruptly turned and began walking towards Luna's bed. "It's okay Mr. Potter I understand," she said to his retreating back. "Now then, I wonder where my esteemed colleague from Ravenclaw House will be at this hour?"
IIIIIIIIII
"Harry?" Luna croaked. "Are you there?"
"I'm here Luna," Harry said quickly, "just rest and focus on getting well. I'll take care of the rest."
"I wasn't strong enough," Luna said with tears flowing down her face, "I'm sorry, I made you look bad."
"You stood up to them," Harry said firmly, "that's all that matters."
"But I lost."
"Win or loose you stood up to them," Harry assured the girl, "that's all that matters."
IIIIIIIIII
Poppy stared at the entrance to the Ravenclaw dorms with a look of annoyance on her face for a few seconds before making a strange gesture causing it to open. Most students would have been shocked to know that the entrance to every dorm would open to a staff member, she thought to herself, then again most students lacked the common sense needed to fill a thimble.
"Harry Potter has a message for you Filius," Poppy said as she entered the Ravenclaw Common room.
"Poppy?" Flitwick asked in shock. "What are you doing here?"
"Young Mister Potter is quite displeased by what happened to Ms. Lovegood," Poppy continued, "as am I."
"Accidents happen," Filius said with a shrug.
"Is that what the Headmaster told you?" Poppy growled. "That it was an accident?"
"Wasn't it?"
"No, it wasn't."
"Is she going to be alright?" Filius said in a tired voice. "I need to write to her father and I'd like to assure the man that his daughter will make a full recovery."
"She will," Poppy said simply.'
"Thank you," Filius said with a sigh of relief, "now what was Mister Potter's message?"
"He has placed Ms. Lovegood under his protection," she said, "and will regard any attack on Ms. Lovegood as an attack on himself. He also wanted me to tell you that if the perpetrators of this crime aren't dealt with to his satisfaction then he will deal with them himself."
"I see."
"And I suggest that you listen to him," she said coldly, "or I fear that there will be several more 'accidents' befalling members of Ravenclaw House."
"Please tell Mister Potter that they will be dealt with," Flitwick agreed, "harshly."
"Thank you for your time Filius."
"Any time Poppy."
IIIIIIIIII
Hermione and Ron were the first to arrive, they were followed by Ginny, and within a few minutes the entire 'Ministry Crew' had joined Harry by the side of Luna's bed.
By the time Poppy returned to the hospital wing, the ward played host to every student that accompanied Harry on his ill fated trip to the Ministry along with a large portion of his 'study group.'
"Professor," Hermione spoke for them all, "we would like to amend Harry's statement. He told you that an attack on Luna was an attack on him, please be sure that your colleagues know that an attack on one of us is an attack on us all."
AN: I was going to use this as a build up to another idea but this didn't really fit that, it did however seem to be a good stopping point for this mini fic.
Omake: Ego Trip
Life as an insanely rich adventurer isn't quite all it's cracked up to be, sure you get the satisfaction of knowing you saved the world, but that's all you get. You see, the public just doesn't want to know how close the Communist Mole Men (CMM) came to conquering the world. Or that the dinosaur riding nazis from the hollow earth were behind a scheme to get fluoride out of the public water system as part of their alliance with the cavity creeps. No the public doesn't want to know how close they get to oblivion every day, that's where there are men like me. Men who drag the monsters out from under the bed and then pistol whip them until they agree to go to Canada like they agreed to in the treaty. My name is classified, unimportant anyway. Some call me . . . Rorschach's Blot.
My head was pounding when I woke up, probably from the beating I'd taken on my last mission. Grey aliens had been using mind control drugs on Olympic boxers as part of a scheme to rig the fights to make Earth a softer target for the coming invasion and I'd had to disguise myself and enter the games to get to the bottom of things, I'd won the gold of course . . . it really wasn't fair to pit normal people against someone as amazing as I am, but they'd gotten in a couple good hits of their own which neatly explains my sore and aching head. It didn't explain why my hands were green, or why I appeared to be in a dark cave.
"What's wrong with you?" An odd voice demanded. "You're late for work."
"And what is work exactly?" I asked glibly. I turned around and found myself face to face with an unpleasant green being with pointed teeth.
"Your job is to go to every vault and remove our fees," the 'goblin?' replied, "here's your skeleton key, here's the ledgers that you'll have to fill out, and here's a large sack to put the gold in."
"Might I have two large sacks?" I asked plaintively.
"Fine," the goblin growled, "though I don't know why you need more then one since they're bottomless."
"One for the fees and the other for something else," I replied, "why do you think?"
"Just get to work."
For lack of anything better to do, I grabbed the ledger that the creature had given me and flipped through it for a few minutes until I came to a rather odd entry.
"Malfoy hmmm?" In a flash, everything became clear. I had somehow become a self insertion character. It wasn't the first time of course, I had often been called upon to pursue villains through all manner of alternate realities; dimensional travel was yet another thing the public would never know about. "Looks like I'm going to have to make a few withdrawals."
I spent the rest of the day removing large amounts of gold from the vaults of several prominent wizards and witches. I figured it was owed to me since as a goblin I'd have a major handicap when it came to the traditional SI activity of building harems and saving the day. I spent the remainder of the time doctoring the ledgers, figuring that it would be easier to get Harry and the others on my side if there was evidence that certain people were robbing his vaults with goblin aid. I'd just have to explain that I was an honest . . . hmmm . . . I'd have to explain that it was in my interest to help them and why and they'd be stupid enough to trust me with everything, especially if I started things off by telling them that they couldn't trust me. It was odd; the more you told people that they couldn't trust you, the more they did.
AN: A variation on the SI I've written before.
OMAKE: Dual National
"So what did Professor Dumbledore want?" Hermione asked after Harry returned to the common room.
"Hmmm?" Harry snapped out of his daydream. "Oh, it turns out my mum was born in Canada while my grandparents were there on business."
"Oh, so nothing ground shattering then?"
"Nope," Harry agreed, "he also gave me a book on Canada and I'm thinking of going there after I'm finished with Hogwarts."
"To live or to visit?"
"To visit," Harry replied, "at least at first."
"Mind if I read that book?"
"Be my guest."
"Well then," Ron spoke up for the first time, "it's a good thing it wasn't anything bad eh' Hermione?"
"Right Ron," Hermione agreed.
"Now then . . . um Harry." Ron pointed at Harry's chest. "I." He pointed at his own. "Go to." He made his fingers walk. "Eat." Gestured shoveling something into his mouth. "Harry." Another point at Harry's chest. "Come." Best not write out what gesture he made here. "Too?" He held up three fingers and scratched his head.
AN: Bad, but it was all to write the last paragraph. I may write Harry the citizen of the northern resource area some day but it would be similar to my Irish Harry fic rather then this piece of drek.