Disclaimer: The most dangerous man is the man who doesn't not care about anything. A man who won't stop for anything. One who will kill without joy.
Harry Don't Care
(A Story of Harry the Hufflepuff)
The Dursley family were stuffing their faces in preparation for a hard day of harassing secretaries, gossiping, and bulling anyone smaller than a whale when their keen ears told them of a delivery.
"Mail's here!" Dudley announced.
"Dudley go get the mail," Vernon ordered.
"Make harry do it," Dudley replied.
"Harry, go get the mail."
Vernon hated himself for the shiver of fear that went through his spine when his unwanted boarder looked up from his breakfast of steak and bacon. Most men would laugh at him for being afraid of a child, most men hadn't had one of their testicles shattered by a six year old, their nose bitten off by a seven year old, their jaw broken by an eight year old, or their elbows broken by a nine year old. Never let it be said that Vernon Dursley didn't eventually learn from his mistakes.
"Go fuck yourself," Harry replied
"I'll just go get the mail myself, shall I?" Vernon stated with false cheer.
The large man came back a few minutes later clutching a yellow envelope, a pensive look on his face.
"You, um, you have a letter, boy," Vernon stated, placing it on the table.
"Meh." Ignoring the letter, Harry finished his breakfast.
There were two letters the next day.
A dozen the day after that.
A hundred the day after that, the numbers kept increasing. Still, Harry refused to show interest in anything but his daily ration of meat and napping throughout most of the day.
It didn't take long before the Dursleys had all that they could take.
"I think I remember how to send letters to . . . them," Petunia said hesitantly. "Maybe we could at least get them to stop."
"Do it," Vernon said though clenched teeth.
IIIIIIIIII
Severus arrived at the house of the son of his nemesis and the sister of his love the next morning wondering why he of all people was being forced to deal with the brat.
'It's the rotation, Severus,' Albus had said with a twinkle in his eye. 'All members of staff are expected to take their turn. Would have been Hagrid next week and Minerva last. It's only fair.'
Mentally scoffing, the man flicked his wand causing the door to vibrate as if it had been knocked and a loud 'gong' to reverberate through the house.
"Severus?" Petunia answered the door a few minutes later.
"Where is he?" he demanded.
"In the cupboard under the stairs, but-"
"Silence," he demanded.
Severus walked to the cupboard and opened it only to find a large hole in the center of what had once been a floor.
"This is where you have him?" he asked, contempt dripping from every syllable. "Boy!" he shouted down at the hole.
"He doesn't-" Petunia began.
"Silence or I will silence you," Severus spat. "BOY!" He crouched down to yell into the entrance only to run into a clenched fist.
A grumpy looking Harry soon followed it. "This the idiot that's been interfering with my nap?" Harry demanded, prompting a furious nod from his aunt.
"How dare you-" Severus fumbled for his wand, having it half drawn when Harry's kick shattered his jaw and robbed him of consciousness.
"I'm hungry," Harry announced.
"Why don't I tell you where you can get some delicious food?" Petunia suggested. "I'm sure he has more than enough in his pockets to pay for it."
IIIIIIIIII
Tom looked up when the door to the Cauldron opened to admit what could have only been the young savior of the wizarding world. The boy walked purpousfully up to the counter and dumped out two dozen galleons.
"Meat and lots of it," Harry ordered.
"Right away, Mr. Potter," Tom agreed cheerfully. "Will you be taking a booth?"
"Yes," the boy agreed.
IIIIIIIIII
Albus grinned when the groundskeeper walked into his office. A shame Poppy said Severus wouldn't be fit to make a second attempt until she'd finished piecing together his jaw and regrowing his teeth, fortunately he had others he could ask.
"Yer called f'me, Professor?" the half giant asked bashfully.
"Yes, Hagrid. I was wondering if you'd be willing to take young Harry Potter his letter? Severus was supposed to do it but I'm afraid he had some sort of accident on the way."
IIIIIIIIII
The half giant returned several hours later with a black eye and a grin that encompassed his entire face.
"Did you give Harry his letter?" Dumbledore asked cheerfully.
"Did indeed, Professor," Hagrid replied. "Took him to the bank, got him his supplies, and told him how to get ter the express as well."
"Wonderful." The old man popped a lemon drop into his mouth. "I trust there were no complications?"
"None at all, Professor."
"Wonderful. That does leave the question of what happened to your eye."
"Ah." The giant looked a bit bashful. "Harry did it."
"What?"
"It were a mistake. He didn't realize I'd moved and hit me by mistake."
"Oh?" The old man blinked. "Did you surprise him?"
"He was aiming for the wall and didn't know I'd moved," Hagrid explained. Though it had given the goblin the face saving excuse that he'd been hit by a half giant rather than a human boy so he supposed it had all worked out in the end.
"Ah." Dumbledore brightened. "I see." No doubt the boy had been playing catch or something similar. "Good work, Hagrid."
"Thank you, Professor."
IIIIIIIIII
Draco walked onto the Hogwarts express as if he owned it. Why not, he was a Malfoy, his family owned or controlled everything of importance after all.
Chin in the air, the boy walked towards the front of the train to the only suitable compartment for one of his breeding. He was not amused to find someone already occupying it.
"You!" Draco yelled. "Filth, leave and hope your stench doesn't linger or I shall be most upset.
Two seconds later, anyone waiting on the platform would be rewarded with the sight of the scion of the Malfoy family flying through a window and skidding across until he hit one of the columns.
Unhurt thanks to the many enchantments laid on the station over the years, Draco stood up, stormed into the train, flew back through the same window, and again came to a stop when he ran face first into a column.
The boy paused in front of the compartment before storming in a third time. It was understandable that filth would be better at the physical side of things, they were, after all, beneath the pinnacle of magical breeding that was himself. He had people to deal with that sort of thing, no need to dirty his own hands when he could have others do it for him.
It didn't take more than a few minutes to round the other two boys up and they quickly fell in line behind him after he explained to them what he wanted to do. Perhaps he wouldn't wait for the train to be going over a bridge before he ordered the mudblood thrown out. Better to have the filth live long enough to explain to others why he'd justly been punished.
"This is the one," Draco stated as he threw open the door to the compartment. "YOU!" he shouted at the boy reclining on the seat. "Filth! Stand up in the presence of your betters."
"Shut up. I thought I told you to stay the fuck out of my fucking compartment you cock-sucking fuck bag," Harry said calmly, not even bothering to open his eyes.
"I said." Draco motioned for his two goons to step forward. "This compartment is mine, mudblood. You should have found somewhere else to sully with your presence."
The two goons took a menacing step forward, Crabbe popped his knuckles, Goyle grinned at the violence to come. Harry opened his eyes.
Crabbe and Goyle had been born to their job, each coming from long lines of leg breakers. They'd thought they were the meanest, biggest, hardest boys in their year. One look into Harry's now open eyes showed them how wrong they were. Still.
"My partner and I wish to express our sincerest apologies for our companion's rudeness," Crabbe said politely. "Would taking him into the hallway and beating him severely be sufficient to cool your ire, our would you also like us to rob him and give you any valuables he might be carrying."
Never let it be said that they weren't able to adapt to an unexpected change in circumstance.
Draco's eyes narrowed."Wha-?"
Goyle silenced the boy with a blow to the stomach before kicking the blonde into the hallway.
"We'll be back shortly with his valuables," Crabbe promised. "Do let us know if we're disturbing you and we'll drag him into another car to continue the chastisement."
Harry closed his eyes. Nothing worth bothering about anyway.
IIIIIIIIII
"Now where should I put you?" the hat mused.
"I don't give a shit."
"Hufflepuff it is," the hat said cheerfully.
AN: Inspired by #82 'Tastes Better' in Clell65619's Thrilling Tales of the Downright Unusual. By chance, I came across the manga 'Killing Bites' after I started writing this meaning that this was not inspired by that manga. Finding it was an interesting coincidence though.
Typos by porphyrian_delight, runecutter
Omake: Defense Professor
"No," the voice on the back of Quirrel's head whispered when their enemy walked into the room.
"Master?"
"I never thought he'd come here," the voice stated. "Never thought he'd care enough to leave that pit he calls a home."
Their enemy joined the Hufflepuff table, something Quirrel privately thought was proof the boy would never amount to anything, and pulled what appeared to be a ham out of one of his pockets. The fact that the food item appeared to be much too large to fit in the afore mentioned pocket was something not worth mentioning in magical circles.
"Master?"
"I found him," the face on the back of his head whispered. "Five years ago. I was possessing a snake at the time, something far more noble than scum could ever hope to be, and I thought; what the hell, why not kill the little bastard now?"
"If my scummy self may be so bold, Master. Why is he still alive?"
"I was possessing an Egyptian cobra, had already killed three zookeepers and a dozen or so common muggles when I found him. I waited until my venom had been replenished and struck with all I had, injecting everything in one bite."
"Master?"
"Little bastard grabbed me and bit my head off. I had to endure the indignity of going through his digestive tract and it was only the fact that he choose to relieve himself in his neighbor's rose garden rather than a water closet that allowed me to possess a fly, which allowed me to possess a bird, which allowed me to get to the continent where you found me. We're leaving this place, leaving this place before I have to suffer the indignity of a human digestive tract again!"