Disclaimer: "I don't throw darts at a board. I bet on sure things. Read Sun-tzu, The Art of War. Every battle is won before it is ever fought." -Gordon Gekko
GLGG 03
Harry Potter and the Knights of Atlantis
Part three of Odd Ideas # 190 and #191
Lockhart was not surprised to find a note asking him to come into the office upon his return to England. He and Harry had just spent several months in Central America and he was sure the head editor was eager to get the details of their latest bestseller as soon as possible.
"Gilderoy!" the head editor met him at the door. "So good to see you again."
"Good to be back," Gilderoy replied. "You'll be happy to hear that I've got the manuscript for Harry Potter and the Custom Wand with me."
"Oh?"
"Harry spent a couple weeks with a Gringotts curse breaking expedition before we left and I used the time to do a bit of writing while relaxing on the beach," Gilderoy explained.
"Come in to my office," the head editor said with a wide smile. "I want to hear all about it."
Gilderoy followed the man up two flights of stairs to an impressive penthouse suite. Seemed the sales numbers on book two were just as impressive as they'd hoped.
"Have a seat, Gilderoy," the head editor said, waving him to a plush leather chair. "Now, what's this about a curse breaking expedition?"
"Happened to be in Belize dealing with some Maya ruins while we were there. Expedition leader brought his family along to enjoy the climate and his daughter picked a fight with Harry."
"He won and they declared eternal friendship?"
"He gave as good as he got, I'm told the matter of who was winning was still up for debate when the girl's minder arrived to break it up. Girl decided that she didn't want to go with her minder and Harry backed his new friend up against an adult." Lockhart chuckled. "Goblins were tearing the hotel apart trying to find her and the two of them were hiding in my room the whole time, found them napping together when I got in."
"And that made the goblins offer him a place on their curse breaking team?" the head editor asked skeptically.
"That led to the offer to join one of the beginner training teams and a bit of luck led to them finding a few interesting things," Lockhart replied.
"Goblins going to be a problem about the embellishments?"
"One of the reasons I finished the manuscript on site was to give them a chance to go over it," Lockhart stated. "There's apparently a goblin saying that goes something along the lines of; never let the truth get in the way of a good story."
"Didn't realize they were so sensible, going to have to see about making some contacts since that's the case."
"Figured you would, expect to hear from the bank about publishing the goblin chronicle on their expedition. I've been assured that Harry Potter will feature prominently."
"That's another thing I like about you, Gilderoy, always looking to find more ways to make me money," the head editor's smile widened. "Anything else I need to know about before we start strategizing our next book?"
"One thing," he agreed. "Turns out that Harry Potter can speak with snakes."
"A parselmouth." The head editor scratched his chin. "Any thoughts on how to spin that?"
"Wrote to the Library of Alexandria and they were able to dig up an ancient ritual from the Gupta Dynasty that imparts the ability. Curse breakers confirmed it safe and I wrote two chapters on how Harry gained the ability and used it to overcome one of the cursed temple's guardians."
"Cursed temple, I like that. Think the goblins would object to titling their chronicle something along the lines of Harry Potter and the Cursed Temple?"
"They're hoping to title it something along the lines of Harry Potter and the Goblin Princess. Head of the expedition is a very doting father."
"Works. Make a note of cursed temple, we can use it in the future."
"Will do," Lockhart agreed. "So, the next book?"
"Got big plans for it if you approve. I think we can spin this in to three or four books, all timed to release at the same time."
"Ghost writers?"
"Nah, spin offs like the Goblin Princess," his editor explained. "You heard about the thing with the Lovegood family?"
"I did. Good publicity and great that the woman's life was saved."
"It's drummed up demand for a book on healing. I've spoken with that personal healer of yours and she's more than willing to write it."
"As just a spell book or does she want to accompany us?"
"The latter, she's hoping to learn a bunch of foreign healing spells."
"No objections to bringing her along."
"Great. Also got Madeye Moody wanting to write a couple. Almost turned him down till I realized that we could make it work with my strong suggestion for book four."
"What is your strong suggestion for book four?"
"Harry Potter and the Knights of Atlantis."
Lockheart looked as if he'd bitten into something sour. Atlantis was a bit of an odd duck being both the only magical country in the world and the country with the highest percentage of muggle born citizens, all drawn by a reputation so strong that it had spread to the muggle world. The island had a thriving, if tacky, tourist industry, a high immigration rate, and a pureblood population that was almost non-existent due to the immigration rate. To anyone raised in the magical world, such as he'd been, it had a bit of a reputation for being completely devoid of class and completely filled with the wrong sort.
"That tourist trap?"
"Demographics show that our best demographic is with the half/muggle-born set followed closely by the so called light side."
"Still."
"The Atlantean Tourism Bureau is willing to give us a lot of gold to make it happen," his editor said enticingly. "They want you to do for them what you did for the Library of Alexandria."
"I'm still a bit worried that it will hurt the brand," Lockhart replied. "I worked with Magical Law Enforcement during the war, the Knights of Atlantis are a joke. Chocolate Aurors is what they used to call them, they'll melt away at the first sign of heat."
"The government of Atlantis agreed with you," his editor said. "They figured they were next on the chopping block if you-know had taken over and they spent most of the war recruiting as many of the nastiest bastards they could from every other country in the world. Post war, they snapped up as many of the emergency Aurors as they could find."
Lockheart perked up. "You said that Moody wanted to publish a couple books?"
"I agreed on condition that he agreed to go to Atlantis as a trainer. He writes that they're shaping up into something worth the gold the government wastes to feed them."
"That's actually a pretty good compliment from Moody," Gilderoy mused. "He agree to train Harry?"
"They're going to put him through a special training program to get him qualified as a Knight of Atlantis," his editor agreed.
"Cadet program," Lockheart corrected. "That way we can bring him back every year or two to go to the next level. Worth at least a spell book for each visit, more if you can get the books out of Moody or another retired Auror."
"Can't believe I missed that," his editor cursed. "Have I told you how much I love you?"
"Not for at least five minutes," Lockhart said dryly.
"Anything else you want to address before we move on?"
"Returning to the parselmouth issue. How hard to you think it'll be to get the Prophet on our side with that one?"
"Easiest thing in the world since we bought it," his editor replied. "Would you and Harry like a bit of stock as part of your next advance?"
"How much of our next advance?" Gilderoy replied.
"Not too much, gold it took to buy the paper was a rounding error on our advertising budget."
"Why not, never too early to start building a boy's portfolio."
"Thought you'd see it that way. Want me to start asking for that as part of the fee for product placement?"
"Only if it seems like a prudent investment or they're offering it for almost nothing," Gilderoy replied. "Gold will always be gold, stock might turn into worthless paper."
"Alright. Next matter, your house elf."
"Yes?"
"Focus groups have gotten back to us. Most popular name for the-boy-who-lived's elf is Pepper followed by a list of things if Pepper doesn't work."
"Pepper sounds fine," Lockhart agreed. He checked his pocket watch. "If there aren't any pressing matters, I'm afraid I have to be going."
"None at this time. Take two weeks off and be back ready to work out the details of your next trip. As to young Harry, are there any tutors you'd like me to arrange this time?"
"Already handled. Harry's eager to learn as much as he can about wand making and help as much as he can with making his so we'll be with Idabelle for the next two weeks."
"With Idabelle, hmmm?"
"She's filled out since I was at Hogwarts with her," Lockhart replied. "She's also the most sensible girl I've ever met."
"Using the boy to lay a bit of groundwork?"
"Kid's magic, I've never pulled like I have with him along."
"Good luck."
AN: And then there were three. I suspect part four would be Harry's adventure with Arabella Figg who may or may not become a reoccurring character if this muse continues.
Omake: Dumbledore
The third book in the series was better than the first two, in Dumbledore's humble opinion, and he was especially pleased to see an excerpt from a goblin author on the adventure told from a goblin point of view at the back of the book and the promise that the rest of the goblin account would be in stores in less than a month. His estimation of Gilderoy went up again, he'd assumed that the null presented in the first book would be the extent of the man's utility, he'd been pleasantly surprised by the interest the man had drummed up in learning and the Library of Alexandria in the second, and was over the moon to see him working on improving relations with the goblins in the third. He'd completely misjudged the boy, another piece of evidence that he was anything but infallible
The next thing in his stack was a short note from Mundungus assuring him that all was well with the-boy-who-lived. Dumbledore's eyes flicked at the monitoring instruments, always good to have confirmation from someone on the ground that they were working correctly. It was never a good idea to completely cut out the human element.
The next item was a letter from Arabella informing him that she'd run into Harry during one of her port stops, had managed to help the boy in one of his adventures, and she'd finished it by apologizing for doubting him. That was good, he decided, much better for her to think that all was well with her charge than to think that the poor boy was missing or had been harmed.
His eyes automatically flicked up to check the monitoring instruments. Best send off a quick note to the publisher strongly suggesting that Arabella appear in the next book along with a short outline of the adventure she'd dreamed up. She'd like that, he decided, and he'd long decided to do what he could to make her last few years as happy as possible.
Omake: Augusta
Augusta's grip tightened on her teacup when her ears detected the sound of a giant crash. If Algie had gone near her Grandson again-
The sound of her Neville's laughter caused her to relax a bit. Seemed her boy had come to no harm, didn't mean she wouldn't still have words with the fool for trying to coax out his magic but it did mean those words would not result in a long stay at St Mungo's.
Cup in hand, Augusta strolled towards the sounds of destruction and merriment. What she found was both unexpected and a cause for joy. Neville, her Grandson, had a quiver filled with paper wands and was using them to curse his uncle blue. It was clear the boy had trained himself up for this moment as he didn't even break stride as his wands disintegrated after each hex.
"Mipsy," Augusta said firmly.
"Yes, Mistress?"
"I want you and the other elves to get as many pictures of this as possible. Start on supper after Neville is done, all of his favorites."
"Yes, Mistress," the house elf agreed.
"And contact St. Mungo's to collect Algie when you have a spare moment after you've started cooking supper, I believe I'll be too busy congratulating Neville to remember to do it myself."
"It will be done, Mistress," the house elf squeaked.
Augusta watched silently until her Grandson burned out his last wand before sweeping into the room, stepping over the fool, and wrapping her Grandson in a proud hug.
"Gran?"
"Wonderfully done, Neville," she said proudly. "Come, the elves should still have afternoon tea set up in the drawing room."
"Okay, Gran."
"You'll have to tell me all about what happened after we get there," she continued. "I don't want you to miss a single word."
"I won't, Gran."
Augusta saw him situated in the chair across from her own with a mug in one hand and a cake in the other before her curiosity overwhelmed her.
"Alright, Neville. From the beginning."
"Well, you know how Uncle Algie has been trying to make me show accidental magic?"
"Yes," she agreed. "I've had words with him about that."
"Well, I didn't like it either. So I was in my room wondering what to do about it when I saw the Harry Potter books that cousin Eleanor got for me."
"Go on."
"Well, book three had instructions on how to make a temporary wand for emergencies and such. So, I tried it, didn't make the first one right but it showed me that I had magic." Neville's smile was full of teeth. "I figured that I should show Uncle Algie that he didn't have to keep testing me anymore."
"Wonderfully done, Neville." She took a victorious sip of tea.
"Only," Nevill blurted, sounding unsure of himself.
"Yes?"
"Must have done something wrong, Gran, couldn't figure it out."
"What makes you think that?"
"Book says the wands should be good for at least three spells before they fail." Neville sighed heavily. "Took me three weeks of experimenting to get them to last one."
"We'll consult the wand maker responsible for the instructions," Augusta assured him. "Whatever answer we get, I am quite certain that you have done nothing wrong in regards to this matter. Now, exactly why did you choose the hexes you did?"
"They were the only ones I could cast without causing the wands to fall apart," Neville replied.
"Wonderful. It must have taken quite a bit of work to figure that out. You'll make a fine Hufflepuff, like your mother. On the other hand, it took a lot of courage to stand up to a fully grown wizard which would see you a Gryffindor, like your father. Of course, you were quite sneaky in your planning so you might be in Slytherin, like your Grandfather. But," the old woman's smile deepened. "You'll forgive me for hoping that you'll be in my house after the degree of intelligence you showed."
"Really?"
"Neville, you had a problem and you went to a book to find a solution. Then, when your solution didn't work, you spent what must have been several hours experimenting and researching until it did. You'll be a fine addition to any of the houses, mine most of all."
"Thanks, Gran." Neville turned red at the praise. "I was just happy to find out that I wasn't a squib."
"Quite the opposite, I suspect," the old woman murmured. "Put the matter out of your mind, you have nothing to worry about on that matter and I hope that you will speak with me in the future about any other worries."
"Okay, Gran," Neville agreed.
"Now, from the beginning, with as much detail as you can remember, I want you to walk me through it again." She selected a cake from the tray. "I want to hear every little thing."
Addition by ubereng
"First thing I cast was an Expelliarmus and, when his wand flew to me, I thought it would work better than my homemade ones. But it disintegrated on the first spell too."
AN: Several typos by Jimbocous. Couple more by Jenifer Winterbine
Omake: Idabelle
Idabelle's money senses started tingling the moment the old woman and the child entered her shop. Everything about the grand dame said money. From her posture, to the cut of her robes, to the look in her eye, it all screamed breeding and the budget to back it. Some of which, Idabelle was sure, would stick to her finger if she played her cards right.
She smiled as she tried to think of the best sales tactic. Best to use a classic, only a very expensive custom wand will bring out your or the boy's or both of your magical power.
"You are the source of the instructions on how to make a paper wand in the Harry Potter book, are you not?"
"I am," Idabelle agreed, hoping that the kid hadn't damaged something they'd want her to pay for. She wouldn't, of course, but it would be a distraction she didn't need.
"Neville, show her the wand you made," the old woman ordered.
Shyly, the boy presented it for Idabelle's inspection.
"May I?" she asked politely before taking it from him. "Interesting," she murmured, being completely honest. "You modified the design, didn't you."
"Yes," the boy admitted.
"Makes it a lot more durable than the one I put in the book," Idabelle congratulated the boy. "How many spells are you able to get out of it before it fails? Fifteen, twenty?"
"One," Neville said, turning red.
"What?"
"I'm only able to get one spell before it falls apart," Neville repeated, inspecting his toes.
"You're joking," she gasped. "The amount of power needed . . . one spell?"
"I was hoping you could tell me what I'm doing wrong," Neville said, sounding ashamed.
"You're too powerful for the material," Idabelle stated. "Paper just doesn't hold up to that much magic. My recommendation would be to get something custom, either from me or from the other wand shop. That or wait for a few years till your magic starts to stabilize, but even then you might have trouble."
"Neville will need you to fit him for a custom wand today," the old woman stated, sounding insufferably smug. "The finest materials you have."
"Right away," Idabelle agreed. "Just so you know, I'm required to inform you that the wands I sell don't come with a trace."
"Why not?"
"Because Ollivander edged me out," she explained, trying not to sound bitter. "Ministry subsidizes every wand he makes in return for having them get tied into the monitoring system. He had me blackballed when I tried to sign up for the program."
"I see."
"Still able to beat his prices with the production wands, but a custom job is going to be a bit more than you'd expect to pay for one of his," she admitted, hoping she hadn't blown the sale.
"Money is not a concern," the old woman waved the matter off. "Though I will be modifying my order."
"Yes?"
"One custom wand for my Grandson, one for myself, and one of your mass produced models for my Grandson to practice with while we wait for his custom wand to be completed."
"It will be an absolute pleasure to make them for you both, madame," Idabelle enthused.
"Regarding the construction of the two custom wands."
"Yes?"
"Harry Potter's is wrapped in silk, is that functional or decoration?"
"Mostly decoration," Idabelle admitted. "Gilderoy insisted upon it. Doesn't do much other than that, guess it could make it a little more difficult for someone to grab it."
"Excellent, can you make it in any color?"
"Any color I can get the dye for," Idabelle assured the woman with a wide grin. Paying for product placement was the best gold she'd ever spent.
Addition: Neville
Neville was surprised to see an envelope on the table when he joined his Gran for tea that afternoon.
"It's for you, it's from the publisher of the Harry Potter books," his Gran explained.
Neville carefully slit the envelope open and carefully read the note. "They want to use the wand modifications I came up with in future printings. They're offering me a ten galleon advance and a small percentage of the royalties if I say yes."
"May I see?"
Neville handed the letter across the table to his Gran who read and reread the note.
"What is your decision on this matter, Neville?"
"I'd like to do it, Gran."
"I shall arrange an appointment to speak with our solicitors. Pending their approval, I see no reason to stop you from accepting."
"Thanks, Gran."
"Congratulations, Neville."
Omake: Hermione
"Are you really?" the girl stared at him wide eyed. "I've read all about you."
"I hope you enjoyed the books," Harry replied. "Gilderoy does his best to make them as fun to read as he can."
"Immensely," she said. "Forgive my manners. Hermione Granger."
"A pleasure to meet you, Hermione."
"Is everything in them true?" Hermione slapped a hand over her mouth, horrified that she'd expressed the thought aloud. "I'm sorry, it's just, my parents think it's unlikely that a boy my age would have so many adventures."
"Most of it," Harry stated. "I don't remember what happened in the earlier books too well, but what I do is pretty close."
"Really?" Hermione squeaked.
"Well, for example, when I was in Belize-"
"To collect material to make your wand," Hermione interrupted. "That's where you met the Goblin Princess."
"Yeah, that's what Stabby's da calls her," Harry agreed. "Not sure she's really a princess, but I am sure it's a bad idea to say she's not so I guess it's the same thing. Anyway, the book says I answered a riddle to get past a fifteen foot anaconda. I remember having a pleasant conversation with a boa that was happy to move after I asked nicely and she couldn't have been more than ten or twelve feet long."
"Oh," Hermione said, trying to come to grips with the fact that some books could have mistakes in them.
"I asked Gilderoy about that and he said that he isn't an expert on snakes and the thing was massive," Harry laughed. "I think Gilderoy is just a little bit prone to being overdramatic, Gilderoy always replies that I always remember things as less exciting than they were when I tell him."
"I guess that makes sense," Hermione said slowly. "I mean, it'd be strange if books like that didn't reflect how the author saw things."
"Yeah. I can promise that all the spells work though, we spend a lot of time testing them to make sure nothing gets in that doesn't."
"Is that why all the courses seem to use them?"
"One of the reasons," Harry agreed, choosing not to go into details about the deal Gilderoy had worked with Hogwarts.