A Biker's Tale

Chapter 7 - Coping With Loss

Kate's Apartment

With Rick's continued postings on the Castle Fan Site, Kate learns of his plan to caravan with this Hutchinson Couple, whom he has just met. Lanie and her had seen the subsequent posts after that initial picture of Emily and Rick on the web site. Kate was happy to learn they had just recently met and she was already married. It seems that serendipity was at play when Rick and the married couple had discussed their travel plans. They discovered both were all headed in the direction of Vancouver and could convoy together. Then just before the City, Rick would head north to the ALCAN and to Fairbanks, the couple on to the south thru Seattle then ultimately to SoCal.

Kate had been jealous upon seeing that first post with Emily and Rick. Kate had thought that Emily might be Rick's new traveling companion. Lanie had tried to comfort her when Kate brought it up. It felt so much like that past rejection from Castle when he replaced her for Gina that one Memorial Day Weekend. But they soon learned otherwise that Emily was not a travel companion and that she had a husband, Josh. That info had belayed some of Kate's angst. She did however find it intriguing and so circumstantial that Emily's husband was also named Josh. She wondered if that name brought back some bad vibes for Castle when introduced to this Josh namesake.

Kate had previously been with 'her' Josh for almost 10 months, but during that time, 'her' Josh had done a couple oversea's DWB missions from 14 days to 30 days long. So the times they had actually been intimate, you could count on one hand. Still, the sex was great since Kate had been in a drought despite a previous hookup with Demming. She had not slept with Tom thru that relationship, although they had come close a few times. Had she and Tom been together that past Memorial Day Holiday as planned, they most likely would have sealed that past relationship with carnal intimacy. That weekend had never happened and they had never done the deed.

As it turned out, the last man Kate had slept with had been her old ex, Wil Sorenson. That had been many years back and had lasted all of six months. Still they'd slept together regularly, unlike what she had with Josh. With Wil, it had been more frequent as circumstance permitted. So it had been a while for Kate, having been celibate since Wil. Then when she met Josh, her body was needy and her biological clock was ticking. The attraction to him was immediate and definitely strong. It also helped that Josh was tall, dark, handsome, with just enough bad boy in him to appeal to Kate.

Recalling A First Night

Now recalling her time with Josh, she remembers that first night with him. Before that night she had had been hurting emotionally. Weeks back Rick and Gina had reconnected and then gone off to the Hampton's together, leaving Kate alone and broken in their wake. Kate should have been there with Rick instead of Gina; had Kate not delayed in her acceptance of Rick's invitation. It could have been a different story for her with Rick had she accepted sooner, had she not hesitated with Castle.

But, it was from that incident she had solidified, in her mind, all the reasons why she should not fall for Castle. She had been wounded badly by that past rejection. It was a deep cut. Deeper than she had ever had, despite the fact that Rick and her were not a couple then. It appeared that all the times Kate had tried be with Rick, another woman got in her way, Elle Monroe, then Natalie Rose, and lastly Gina Cowell.

She'd come to the reality that Rick and her were two different people. She is a one and done type woman (if she could find her 'one'). Rick is a 'love em and leave em' heartbreaker. Kate was not about to have her heart broken yet again by Castle. So when she had met Josh, she was ready. Ready to move on in an attempt to get over this 'thing' she had for Castle.

Josh and her had been dating for a couple months when Castle returned from his summer absence. No one knew about Josh. She had kept it secret until that one day when Josh showed up at the 12th for a date. It was then all had been revealed to the 12th Precinct; that she had a new man in her life. Until that time, Kate had kept it secret, because the two had yet to sleep together.

The fact was, that only when they had worked that current case, had the two finally sleep with one another. That case involving a body drop during a funeral. The body had fallen out of the same coffin of the corpse being buried at that funeral. The casket, now with two bodies, had been too heavy for the pall bearers to carry. So as they carried it, they had lost their hold of the casket. It came crashing to the ground and that second body was then revealed. It was one of those weird cases that both Castle and her enjoyed working.

Josh and her had been dating a couple months at that point, but Kate had avoided moving their union forward. She still had a foot out the door, as she had done with Demming. Josh, however, had been pushing her for more. He was persistent and Kate was weakening. She had played coy, not wanting to appear too eager for Josh. A little bit of hard-to-get can spice up a relationship but it also made Josh more anxious. Kate was asserting her control over the relationship but her body was not cooperating, her libido on edge when in the presence of Josh.

That case had been draining on all of them, so Montgomery had told the team to take a pause from it and come back refreshed. The team had been working hard on the case and needed a break to relieve stress and revitalize their efforts. So they got a day off. As luck would have it, Josh concurrently had been given a respite from his job.

So the couple, with no work that next day, had gone out for dinner and clubbing later. This so as to derive a needed stress relief. So the two took advantage of a rare free time together. In so doing they had been drinking a lot. So by the end of their date, both were too tipsy to even drive. Josh left his Harley parked at the club. That club minutes away from his place by cab. So they had hailed a taxi and helped each other into the vehicle, that is how much they had been drinking. They'd been mixing drinks too, wine with some of the hard stuff.

The cab took them to Josh's apartment. They exited the cab and continued helping each other to Josh's place. Fortunately, once in the apartment. Josh always had coffee at the ready, it just needed to be brewed. They drank the coffee trying to work off the drinks they had consumed. Afterward, both had fallen asleep on his couch. When Kate wakes up some hours later, she is in Josh's bed and she senses she is naked.

What had happened?

She tries to recall but it is hazy!

Slowly it comes back to her. They had fallen asleep after taking some coffee which seemed to work. About an hour later, both somewhat over their tipsy state, they tried to make it to Josh's bed, which apparently had happened.

Josh is sleeping soundly next to her.

Kate is seeing his bedroom for the first time.

He has a large king bed, just the right size for some playtime. His desk is here and he has a little barrel chair right next to it. On that seat Kate sees her clothes from last night. All are neatly folded, her belt, panties, bra, laying on top of her jeans and blouse. Her stiletto heels stowed beneath the barrel chair. Her purse and leather jacket on Josh's desk.

She looks under the covers to confirm her suspicions and sees she has not a stitch on her. Kate does not recall underdressing, let alone folding her clothes neatly and placing them on the chair, along with the other items neatly put in place on the desk.

Just then, Josh wakes up.

"Josh, what happened last night? Did we…?"

"No Kate", he responds drowsily, "we made it here and you fell asleep on the bed, out cold. I could not let you sleep fully clothed, so I undressed you. It seemed more comfortable for you that way."

"So you got a good glimpse?'

"Come on Kate, I'm a doctor. It is nothing I have not seen before."

"Not with me you haven't."

"I have now, and you are stunning!"

Kate does not know whether to be flattered or offended by Josh's response.

"Kate, it should not come as a surprise that I want you. We've been dating a while now and we have done some pretty heavy making out. I think it is time to commit. I want us to take the next step forward", again he is pushing and Kate is resisting.

"Josh, I ….I ….don't know if this is what I want right now."

"Come on Kate, I know it's been a while for you, as it has been for me. Just go with this."

Josh leans into her personal space and plants a heavy kiss to her lips giving Kate lots of tongue.

He then breaks off the kiss and tells her, "I know you want this Kate, don't hold back. You want this as much as I do."

It had truly been a while for her, and she had been hurting emotionally since Rick had left her for Gina that past summer. Her body and her emotions wants this, despite her brain saying 'no, be cautious'. Her mind loses the battle and she leans into Josh's space returning his kiss in kind. Josh responds by fondling her breast from outside their bed sheet, his hands begin roaming freely over her body. Then Josh's hands go under the sheet and finds Kate's sweet spot with his fingers. His touch is needy, caring, arousing. It had been a while since Kate had felt a man's lustful touch.

That touch lites the fire in Kate. Her heat coming off from that fire, created by Josh's kiss and intimate probing of her, burns white hot. Kate had not been with a man in so long and Josh saying that he wanted her was what Kate needed to hear. Then he found her g-spot, fondling her there and breaching Kate's resistance. She loses herself in Josh and finally surrenders to her lust, ending her celibacy.

It had been awhile for her and also for Josh. So for them that first session is raw, primal, and wanton. Each taking and giving aggressively. They made out like rabbits, as if they could not get enough of each other. It had been the most physical first time for both.

Second Thoughts

Afterwards, as they lay in bed recovering from their first carnal intercourse, Kate is wondering if she had done the right thing with Josh. They had given into their lust, that had been heighten by their reckless drinking that night before, and then ignited by their foreplay. Their inhibitions had vanished. Still, Kate is doubtful about Josh, as she had been with Demming. She broke up with the robbery detective so she could be with Castle. But Rick had rejected her for Gina. Kate had lost both of them back then, Tom and Rick. But now here she is with Josh, in the after glow of a first time carnal coupling.

Those thoughts are on her mind as she looks at Josh now sleeping off their hot session. It seems she is now in a serious physical union with one Josh Davidson. Kate decides then that she needs this. She will give them a chance and not let this one escape her, escape them, as had happened before with the other two men in her life. Kate does not want to delay any longer with Josh. She does not want a repeat of what had occurred with Demming and then bad rejection from Castle. She had lost both of them that one summer due to her continued indecisiveness.

Those thoughts play heavy on her mind. Still, for Josh and Kate, as they start down this road, Kate's doubts linger on. Her foot getting farther and farther out the door as time races by them. Subconsciously Kate sensed that it would not last for them. Her doubts about Josh caused by one Rick Castle, whom she had been trying to deny. Still Kate's heart wanted Rick and would not let her ignore it. The heart wants what the hearts wants. This constant longing for Rick's presence with her is strong despite all the reasons Kate made up not to be with him.

So when the irresistible force of Rick, met the immovable object of Kate, as the song goes, something had to give. Unfortunately, for Josh Davidson, that something had been him. Kate realizes from her contemplations of that first night with Josh, that she needs Rick far more than Josh. Josh had been but a surrogate for Rick.

But Rick had left her after seeing Josh emerge from her bedroom that one revealing morning so unexpected. Confronting Castle with the reality of her carnal union with Josh. That look of disappointment, anguish and surprise on Rick's face was undeniable. His pain from that incident so crippling that Rick had to leave her to avoid further emotional damage.

Now he had gone and now she needed him back.

How then to go about it?

How then to get Castle to return?

She did what she always does in a situation like this…..s-he turns to Lanie for a Girl Talk.