Xander picked up the complimentary newspaper they delivered with breakfast in the hotel's cafe. Reading the headline about Green Lantern assisting with repairs to the International Space Station he just shook his head, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that superheroes were real.
He continued reading the paper as he ate, wondering if there were other things the Mayor had filtered out that he should be aware of, like Santa Claus had been. How would you even find out what had been removed? Were aliens real? Well, Superman was one... presumably, so he had to guess they were real and confirmed.
Xander pushed it aside, he'd call Joyce and ask her, she'd lived outside Sunnydale most of her life so she'd probably know.
He absently read the paper finding several more articles that involved superheroes and groaned when he got to the back of the paper where they listed crimes, accidents, and the obituaries.
"Coroner attacked by wild animal," he muttered. "Joy, another damn vampire." He quickly made note of the details before looking over the obituaries of which there were only three, Alanville being a pretty small town with very little of interest to attract people.
Two of the people listed were in their eighties, so he doubted they were his target, but the third looked to be in the right range, listed as a recent graduate from the local high school.
"Okay, teen was turned several days ago, rose while in the coroner's office and killed the coroner yesterday..." Xander said, writing out the sequence of events, "which means tonight he'll go home to kill his family."
Unnoticed by Xander the two plain clothed police officers in the next booth stiffened, quietly listening to him.
He flipped through the paper. "Sunset at six forty... so I have time to stop by the wax museum before hitting the nearest catholic church for holy water, catch... what movies are playing?"
The two cops listened in disbelief as the young man planned out his day which just happened to include staking a vampire, almost as an afterthought!
"Mike?" Shelia asked, once the young man had left to visit the wax museum, wanting to know what her patrol partner thought.
"Forensics did complain there wasn't enough blood left at either scene," he reminded her, "so I'm guessing he's right, crazy as it is."
"Any idea which hero he is?" she asked.
"No clue, he seems a bit young to be any of the well known ones, but he's certainly competent and confident," Mike replied. "We better report it in and see what the chain of command says."
"At least he'll be easy to follow, we have his itinerary," Shelia said with a snicker.
Mike sighed. "Probably did it on purpose so we wouldn't get in his way."
"You think?"
He shrugged. "Either that or he's not really a morning person."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"I can't believe he's actually doing the tourist thing," Ray muttered as he pretended to be a tourist himself with Elen, one of the lab techs as they followed Xander through the wax museum.
"From the sounds of it he actually came here to play tourist and the vampire thing is just something he stumbled across," she replied. "He's probably seen this sort of thing before so he knew the signs when he ran across them in the paper."
She posed next to a Dracula statue while he took a picture, watching Xander out of the corner of her eye.
"You'd think he'd at least call it in and get police assistance," Ray complained.
"I think vampires can control people, so maybe he's just being cautious," Elen offered with a shrug.
"Maybe, but it'd be a lot easier if vigilantes would at least check with us before going after people in our territory," Ray grumbled.
"Can't argue with you there," she agreed, as they followed Xander at a distance, taking pictures of each other next to the wax sculptures until he left.
Ray pulled out his radio. "Target has departed, I repeat, target has departed."
"Back to the station," Elen suggested.
"Nah, let's get ahead of him," Ray said. "I've lived here for god knows how long, yet I've never made it to the arrowhead museum."
"Really?" she asked in disbelief.
"Really," he said. "I want to see if I can chip my own arrowhead."
"That does sound like fun," she admitted.
"You've never gone either?" he asked.
She shrugged. "I've only lived here two years."
"Fair enough," he said, grabbing her hand.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Xander walked out of the movie theater tossing the empty popcorn bucket in the trash as he checked the time. It had been a good day, he'd gotten to do all the touristy things he'd always wanted to do and seen a pretty good comedy.
He eyed the sinking sun and decided to head out, just in case the vampire decided to be clever and use the shadows of the buildings to sneak around.
Popping the trunk of his car, he grabbed a large cross and put it on, zipping up his jacket to cover it before slipping a couple of stakes in his jacket pockets and grabbing a couple of vials of holy water.
The family's home address had been easy to find, because it was a small town. Xander was sure if it had been anything like LA he'd have had to do some serious research, he thought to himself as he slid into the driver's seat and started up his car, smiling at the smooth purr of the engine.
In less than five minutes he parked behind a white box truck across from the house he was looking for, using it for cover.
The 'beware of dog' signs let him know the fledge would have to approach from the front, which was good because he didn't have anyone to watch the back.
'I really shouldn't be doing this on my own, and if it wasn't a fledge I wouldn't risk it,' Xander lied to himself, already making plans for how to deal with any older vamps he ran across.
He was wondering how to make a small flour bomb to neutralize a Molotov cocktail when he saw his target approaching.
"Black leather," he muttered to himself, "he's only been dead three days and he somehow managed to find a full outfit of black leather."
Xander hopped out of his car and crossed the street. "Hey, you look like you're local," he said cheerfully to the vamp as he approached, "can you give me directions to the nearest grocery store?"
The fledgling smiled broadly. "Be glad to help, but can you give me a hand first?"
"Sure, bud. What can I do for you?" Xander asked, right hand coming out of his pocket holding a glass vial, flicking the stopper off with his thumb.
"Die!" the vampire exclaimed, shifting into game face and opening its mouth wide to show off its fangs.
Xander flicked the vial of holy water into its open mouth, causing it to smoke and screech like a tea kettle as it grabbed its own throat in agony. He pulled out a wooden stake and slammed it home, dusting the distracted vamp.
Half a dozen police officers in body armor jumped out of the back of the white box truck, glanced at Xander and the pile of dust.
An older man with hair graying at the temples stepped out of the front of the truck. "Stand down, hostile has been neutralized," he ordered.
"Did I interfere in your op?" Xander asked.
The man shook his head. "Detective Schultz," he introduced himself. "A couple of our officers overheard you planning this out this morning, we were hanging back in case you needed backup."
"I really need to stop talking to myself," Xander said.
"It'd be better for op-sec," Schultz said dryly. "Is there a reason you didn't come to us and ask for assistance?"
"I could have asked for your help?" Xander asked wide eyed, looking completely stunned.
"We're the police, it's our job to handle things of this nature if we can and assist others if we can't," the detective said.
Xander sighed. "Sorry for not talking to you first, but I didn't even know that was an option. The town I'm from had the entire police force being controlled by a centuries old warlock, so..."
One of the officers turned to another. "You owe me five bucks, I told you he probably thought we were compromised."
The detective nodded. "I can see where that would affect your outlook. If you don't mind, would you follow us back to the station to give your statement and tell us how we can spot vampires?"
"Sure, I got time," Xander agreed.
An Hour Later
"Blood demons are so weak they actually think they are the body they are possessing, which is why people in general think vampires are the person they are pretending to be, because if they can't tell, who can?" Xander explained, to what was probably the entire Alanville police force and part of city hall.
"And they have all their memories and skills?" Detective Schultz asked.
"Along with some basic fighting skills," Xander agreed. "Not sure where the sudden knowledge of hand to hand comes from, but each bloodline has a similar though distinctive style they instinctively fall back on."
"How do you handle fighting something that strong and fast?" a female officer asked nervously.
"By being smart and knowing their weaknesses," Xander said. "Number one... vampires are idiots."
"Even if they were a Mensa candidate before they were turned?" someone asked.
"Even then," Xander said. "Unless you are dealing with a master it's like dealing with a junkie, strong, fast, all but immune to pain... yet only interested in getting their fix, your blood."
"Tunnel vision," Schultz said to himself, "not able to think in anything but the short term."
"Exactly," Xander agreed. "Also they are, every single one, drama queens."
"And that's a weakness?" Schultz asked with a frown.
"They pose, they monologue, they assume they are going to win and get sloppy," Xander said with a chuckle. "It's like dealing with a Bond villain half the time."
"And the other half?" someone asked.
"Like dealing with a coked up serial killer slash rapist who wants to see how loud they can make you scream," Xander said bluntly, smiling at the shudder he saw go through the audience. "You are dealing with a demon possessed corpse made to look pretty to hide its nature and help it hunt. Now, the good news is that sunlight sets them on fire, they can't enter a private residence without an invitation, and items of a holy nature burn them like acid. You always want to make sure you are facing a vampire and not just a goth before trying to stake them so toss some holy water just to be sure."
"I'm pretty sure they'd scream like the demon if you ruined their makeup," a female officer said.
"Yes, but they won't smoke and burn and their face won't become demonic," Xander said. "Also vampires are incredibly flammable. What would cause us blisters will set them off like a roman candle."
"Not as useful, but a good last resort," Schultz said.
"Vampires tend to wear clothes that are out of style, have trouble adapting to change, and their eyes are a bit glassy," Xander listed off. "Another tell is they only breathe to speak, being a corpse and all. Of course if you are close enough to tell, you are close enough to get bit."
"And if you get bit, you turn?" someone asked.
"No," Xander shook his head. "You have to be drained near death and then drink their blood to be turned. If you find a corpse with blood in its mouth, almost completely drained of blood, they will probably raise as a vampire. The process normally takes three days, but sometimes it doesn't either because of local... energies or because of something their master did."
"And we have to wait until they raise to stake them or can we just stick the corpse in the crematorium and skip waiting?" someone asked.
"You can insert a toothpick in the corpse's heart and if it raises it'll automatically dust," Xander said. "A wooden toothpick, not plastic."
"So... do we need to deal with the vampire that created the one you killed?" Schultz asked.
"Can't kill a corpse," Xander said. "Not sure if the vamp who turned him stuck around, they usually hide the corpse to avoid calling attention to themselves. Not sure why they'd turn a teen who crashed his car and then leave him there."
"Dominic Mason crashed his car into another vehicle, but the other car fled," Schultz reported, "There were no eyewitnesses, but from the glass and damage it was likely an older vehicle."
"Oh," Xander said perking up, "then it's likely the other driver was a vampire who was severely injured in the crash and accidentally bled on Mason while feeding to heal himself before fleeing. I'd keep an eye out for missing persons, just in case, but I'd give it good odds the sire didn't mean to turn him or stick around. Vampires stick to large population centers because the number of deaths they cause on a weekly basis would be obvious in a small town."
"Couldn't they keep a couple of people alive and feed off them to hide out?" Schultz asked.
"They could, but that only works short term because they enjoy raping, killing, and torturing people too much to ever stop for long," Xander replied.
"How did you get in this line of work?" a female officer asked.
"When I was fifteen a vampire killed and turned my best friend," Xander said.
"You've been doing this since you were fifteen?! How are you still alive?!"
"I've been asked that a lot lately," Xander said. "Any questions about how to kill vampires? I'm pretty sure we've covered all the basics."
There was quiet for a minute as everyone checked their notes before Detective Schultz stood up. "I think that covers just about everything. Everyone, thank you for listening. Be sure to share your notes and what you've learned with everyone who was on shift and couldn't be here."
The large crowd slowly shuffled out.
"Thanks for this," he told Xander, "while it may not seem like much to you, you've given us the tools we need to recognize and deal with the threat if we can't get a superhero down here for some reason."
"Happy to help," Xander said honestly. "If I'd known I'd be giving a lecture on the subject I'd have spent some time writing up something a little less random. In fact, I think I'll do that in case I have to do this again."
"Glad to hear it," Officer Schultz said, "a lot of people in your position are kinda stingy with the details, thinking if we don't know about it we'll avoid it and be safer."
"If you don't know about it, how do you know to avoid it?" Xander asked with a frown.
Schultz chuckled. "Exactly. Now, let's get the dozen or so forms filled out for your statement so you can clock out yourself."
"Dozen?" Xander asked, hoping he heard wrong.
"At least," Schultz said.
Xander winced. "I hope you don't mark me down for penmanship."
"If I did that I'd have to mark myself down as well," the detective said with a chuckle. "Come on, there is free coffee and donuts to go with it."
"You should have led with that," Xander said with a grin, feeling a trace of homesickness.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
Beta By: Abyssal Angel and Mist of Shadows