"...and after I used it to behead a vampire, I noticed that it was actually a bit banged up and probably had been made that way to look realistic," Xander explained.
"It also seems to really like teeth," Hef noted as he tapped at one of the teeth embedded in the shield that Xander hadn't been able to pry loose without damaging the shield.
"It does not like giving them up," Xander agreed.
"Hmm," Hef said as he examined the shield. "I think I'm going to have to melt it down, teeth and all, add a little bronze to alloy it and give it a better strap. It looks like they tried to stick to period appropriate forging methods while making it, so it's pretty poor-quality iron, and the leather they used for the strap was obviously a leftover piece from another project so it's also substandard."
"Ouch," Xander said. "So, a two-day project?" he guessed.
"Try five minutes," Hef said smugly, "I know all the shortcuts."
"Got that magic touch?" Xander asked curiously.
"I've yet to meet my match," Hef said proudly. "What kind of weapons do you use?"
"Wooden stakes and a silver dagger," Xander replied, pulling them out for the smith to inspect.
"Someone enjoyed making these," Hef said as he ran his fingers over the stakes. "They've an artistic flair. You should get them blessed."
"Actual priest or will just prayer and holy water do the job?" Xander asked, not sure where he could find a priest he could trust to have faith outside of Sunnydale.
"Prayer and holy water," the smith replied as he returned the stakes and pulled the dagger from its sheath. "A bit crude, both in forging and the inlaid rune, but some care went into it."
"First knife I ever made," Xander said.
"For a first try it's not bad," he complimented Xander. "You have some talent."
"It does what I want it to," Xander said, "and I only had a couple days training."
"You definitely have talent," Hef decided as he returned the dagger and turned to his forge. "Pay close attention but hold any questions till I'm done."
"Will do," Xander promised.
It did only take five minutes and even though he'd paid close attention Xander could not describe what he'd seen in any rational way. It was like a fever dream of metal and flames that seemed to go on for hours as the bald man worked the metal, melting it in the forge and mixing bird beaks in with the molten metal, before beating it into shape with a hammer that was the size of a mountain, the sparks sinking into the crystalline frame of the forming shield rather than flying off, reinforcing the bonds between the molecules of the metal.
"Huh, you really did pay close attention, didn't you," Hef noted with some surprise.
"Alexander, are you alright?" Diana asked, concerned, holding a rag to his nose.
"I think so," Xander said, feeling a bit dizzy from the heat and realizing he had a nosebleed as he recovered from whatever he'd just witnessed.
"Sorry, didn't realize he could pay that much attention," Hef said as he continued working on the shield, snatching the bloody rag from Diana's hand and using it to polish the coppery metal, darkening it somehow to a crimson that was almost black.
"I can feel the shield," Xander said, surprised as Diana found a wet wash rag to wipe his face with.
"I took inspiration from your dagger," Hef said with a grin as he tossed the bloody rag into the forge to burn up. "Let me find the right leather for the thing and I'll finish up." He set the shield on a workbench and dug through a box filled with leather straps.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Diana asked as she checked Xander over again.
"The heat's given me a bit of a headache, but get me some water and I'll be fine," Xander promised her.
"I'll be right back," Diana promised and gave her uncle a threatening glare.
"He'll be fine," the bald man assured her, completely unconcerned with her unspoken threat.
Once she had left, Xander said, "My head feels full."
"I'm not surprised," the blacksmith told him as he located a strap of dark leather in a box filled with them and affixed it to the back of the shield. "You have an interesting skill, like a clairvoyant, only instead of seeing the future, you see the present."
"See the present?" Xander asked. "Doesn't everybody do that?"
"No, human eyes have a lot of blank spots that the brain fills in," Hef explained, "and since most people only see what they want to see..." He shrugged.
"So, I should avoid watching people work magic?" Xander guessed.
"Nah, magic's fine," Hef said, "but if I were you, I would avoid watching people who are divinely inspired when they work." He handed Xander the shield.
"Divinely inspired. So, my shield is blessed?" Xander asked hopefully, strapping it to his arm and getting a feel for it, finding it a bit heavier but easier to move somehow.
"As if taken from the forge god's forge himself," Hef said with a grin.
"Awesome," Xander said with a smile as he examined the circular shield, the shape of it familiar though he couldn't recall where he knew it from. "You changed the hammer design?"
"Thor is sleeping off Ragnarok, Hephaestus however is still out and about, so there's more spiritual oomph to it," Hef explained.
"Works for me," Xander said. "I wonder where I can get Hephaestus hammer earrings. I think there's an eight-year-old girl who would love a pair."
"Give me five minutes... but don't watch," Hef said, glancing towards the direction his niece had gone.
"Got it," Xander said, turning away as Hef got to work.
Diana returned with a bottle of Gatorade. "Here," she said, "it'll help."
"Thanks," Xander said, cracking open the bottle and taking a swig. "I'm feeling better already."
"Good, I'd hate to think you'd come to harm from my actions," she said.
Xander smiled. "Don't worry about it, it's just a little headache, but if you want to make it up to me... how about a second date? My treat this time."
Diana grinned. "I'd like that. I have some things I have to do, but I should be done by tonight around seven."
"Excellent, where should I meet you?"
"Just give me your cell phone number, I'll call and we can arrange it then," she said, pulling out a slim electronic device.
"That's a cell phone?" Xander asked, surprised.
"Yes, it's a very common device," Diana said, surprised that he was surprised.
"Sorry, the mayor of my hometown banned all mention of them via spell, probably so people couldn't call for help," Xander said. "The only ones I've ever seen were big bricklike devices with lousy reception that rarely worked."
"I'll have to get the story out of you later," she said, "but if you like I can help you purchase one for your own use tonight. Just meet me here at seven."
"It's a date," Xander said.
"And here are your earrings," Hef said, as he tapped Xander on the shoulder and extended a hand with two delicate silver hammer earrings on them.
"Excellent, Louise will love them," Xander said. "How much do I owe you for them and the shield?"
"Just read this pamphlet and consider converting to the worship of Hephaestus," Hef said, handing Xander a pamphlet. "Not enough people make things these days."
"Can't promise I'll convert, but I'll give it a read through," Xander said. "I do like building things."
"That's all I ask," Hef said as Diana pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Well, I've got to get out of here before Wonder Woman gets here," Xander said. "Diana, I'll see you at seven. Bye."
Hef waited until he'd left before turning to Diana and raising an eyebrow.
"Not a word, Mr. 'Have a pamphlet'."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"I'm here," Xander said.
Hef nodded. "Did you read the pamphlet and what did you think of it?"
"I read it, definitely going to follow it, but it needs to be rewritten," he replied.
"Really?" Hef asked, surprised.
"It was practical, very straightforward, and easy to read, I absolutely loved it," Xander said bluntly. "However... we are dealing with the spiritual side of things, so we have to appeal to the average handyman. In fact, you are going to want several different versions written up to appeal to several different groups of people."
"Really only trying to get worshipers for the one god," Hef pointed out.
"Yeah, but he has several aspects," Xander said. "There is Hephaestus as the creator, appealing to workmen who take pride in what they make, there is Hephaestus the artist who takes what should be simple creations and turns them into things of beauty, appealing to those who try to bring beauty into everyone's lives, and there is Hephaestus the man, who despite being cast out of Olympus for the sin of not being perfect, something he had no control over, and being forced into a bad marriage against his will, didn't sit around and cry about things, he built his own home and divorced his unfaithful wife. He's someone men should look up to and try to be like."
"I hadn't thought of it like that," Hef said with a slowly growing smile.
"Alexander," Diana greeted him as she entered the tent, "ready for our date?"
"Yes, and I even bought a cellphone," Xander said, pulling out his new purchase, "though I'll probably need your help setting it up."
"I'd be happy to," she said. "What do you have planned for our date?"
"Depends on what type of food you like," he replied, "as I'm a man I'm not all that picky. Plus, I've never been here before, so you'll probably know the area better than I do."
"So ready for anything from an upscale restaurant to a hot dog stand?" she teased.
"May have to buy some clothes for fancy dress, but I've had lessons in how to behave," he said. "I tend to prefer clothes I can fight in. I've had a lot of dates get interrupted by sudden emergencies, usually involving vampires."
"I was unaware vampires were that big a problem," Diana said.
"My hometown had a huge infestation hidden by our mayor," Xander replied. "It's been dealt with, but all through school we had to hunt them."
"Which is why you are always armed for vampires," Diana said with a nod.
"And the assorted demons they tend to hang out with," Xander replied.
"I doubt we'll have that problem here, though I am often called away for emergencies," Diana warned him.
"When the call comes, someone has to answer," he said with a nod, "dates can always be rescheduled."
"I'm relieved you're so understanding about it," she said with a smile.
"If someone is willing to let people die so they can have a date I wouldn't want to date them," Xander said bluntly.
"I think it's more that they don't understand the magnitude of the problem," Diana said, "or believe someone else can handle it."
"Unless that someone else can get there faster and handle it with less risk it's really them deciding that their minor inconvenience is more important than innocent lives," Xander disagreed.
"That sounds harsh... but there is truth in what you say," she agreed. "Well, at least I don't have to worry about you getting upset if I'm called away."
"I may be upset at the situation," Xander admitted, "but not at you for handling it and we can always bitch about it together later."
Diana laughed. "That does sound a lot healthier than the awkwardness I've often witnessed."
"So, where would you like to go?" Xander asked.
"Hmm... Let's find a hot dog cart," Diana said. "I don't care how bad they say they are, I like hot dogs."
"I think the Oakland As are playing an exhibition match against some minor league team, so we can catch a game and some actual baseball park hotdogs," Xander said.
"I think that sounds wonderful," Diana said with a smile.
An hour later
"Batter, batter, batter!" the pair called out as someone swung at the ball, neither really paying attention and just going along with the crowd.
There was a crack and the ball was sent flying.
"I'm surprised it's not more crowded," Diana said, looking around at the three quarters empty stands.
"It's an exhibition game, basically just practice," Xander told her. "We have all the heavy fans who come to every game and those who have nothing better to do."
"I know, but usually the stands are at least half full," Diana said. "The metalworking festival must be more popular than I thought."
"Hercules is a popular TV show and it's revived a lot of interest in medieval weapons I'm guessing," Xander said.
"It's a good show, but Hercules really exaggerated his own part in things," Diana said as she signaled for another couple of hotdogs and beers.
"He's a writer on the show?" Xander asked, surprised.
"He's pretending to be a mortal actor," Diana replied, "and it's not that he exaggerated the events so much as the planning that went into them. Hercules will pick someone he thinks would be a great hero and then... chaos, complete and utter chaos occurs. So yes, all the events in the show occurred, but there was no planning involved at all and Iolaus eventually lost all his hair from stress and faked his own death to get away from them."
"Really?" Xander asked with a slowly growing grin.
Diana's eyes narrowed. "That is a decidedly evil grin," she pointed out.
"Well... if Hercules is bored and needs a new 'hero' to shepherd, I may just know of someone who could use a guide," Xander said.
"Hmm, I can tell you are being truthful, but that grin..."
"Let me tell you about Angel or as I call him, Deadboy," Xander said.
Half an hour, one beer, and four hot dogs later...
"And the curse requires him to be unhappy to prevent breaking it, so Hercules would actually be his best bet for redemption," Xander finished.
"I can see why you had an evil grin," Diana said with a small grin herself. "He'd be a good distraction for Hercules if nothing else and would be a good safeguard to prevent the return of Angelus or to take care of him if it becomes necessary."
"Exactly, and the fact that it'll annoy Deadboy is just a bonus on my part," Xander said cheerfully.
"Not quite a lie," she gently chided him, trying and failing to hide her own amusement at the situation.
"It's true, but emotionally... it's the main reason for my actions," Xander admitted, noting how good she was at ferreting out anything remotely resembling a lie and figuring it was a power of some sort that he wouldn't have minded having himself and really wished had been one Slayers were gifted with. "I want him to succeed, but I also want him to be annoyed while doing it, especially if he knows it's because of me."
"That is an incredibly petty reason for doing good," Diana said with a laugh.
"I may just hold a bit of a grudge," Xander admitted, "and I really am not fond of vampires."
There was a beeping noise and Diana sighed. "It looks like I'm needed."
Xander nodded. "Do you need a ride?"
"No, I've got it covered," she said and leaned towards him, Xander immediately went in to kiss her.
"Call me," he said, "I'm on vacation so whenever you are free..."
"I will," she promised, "this has been fun. One to port."
Xander blinked spots from his eyes as she'd disappeared in a flash of light. "Huh, I wonder if teleporting was another thing the Mayor blocked us from knowing about. I really need to look a bunch of stuff up," he muttered as he got up to leave, wondering where the nearest public library was.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
Beta By: Abyssal Angel, Mist of Shadows, and Kyrin Fireheart
AN: In A:TS Kevin Sorbo is shown to be Hercules so if you cross over the Buffyverse that really needs to be taken into account.