"Constantine."
John looked up from the map he was scrying, dropping the pendant and leapt back, hands coming up, fingers twisted into mystic sigils, hints of smoke forming before he sighed and relaxed, lacing his fingers and cracking his knuckles. "Damn it Vic," he cursed, "I told you not to surprise me when you have your face covered up like that."
"When I'm wearing the suit, this is my face," The Question replied.
John just stared at the man in the blue suit and gray trenchcoat with smooth flesh covering where his face should have been. "Agree to disagree," he said and picked back up the crystal pendant. "What do you want?"
"I understand you ran into a demon hunter recently?"
"Most of us in the business can be said to be demon hunters, be more specific," John said as he held the pendant over the map, slowly moving it back and forth.
"Alexander Harris, age 19, around six feet tall, dark hair, gets along well with the police," The Question listed off.
"Carries a silver and blood forged dagger with a rather shoddy Enochian rune for attraction on it," John added as he noted where the crystal on the pendant was and marked it on the map. "What about him?"
"What can you tell me about him?"
"Has at least a touch of second sight, seems favored by several members of the Greek Pantheon, and is smart enough to know when he's stepped out of his league. Rare trait, that. Most hunters leap at anything even a little Supernatural blade first." John chuckled to himself. "I'd say he has that mystical trait known as common sense, but people with that don't become hunters."
"That's all?"
"A chaos worshiper used the Night of Masks ritual on him against his will, making him a priest of Janus for at least one night and he regularly ate cursed chocolate for at least a couple of months because he knew the curse didn't apply to him."
"Interesting," The Question said, writing a couple of notes in his notebook. "Anything else?"
"Only met him for a minute," John said, "You're lucky I got that much."
"I've got a couple of videos to show you, on lectures he's given to the police. I want your opinion on the accuracy of his information," The Question said, reaching up to adjust his fedora.
"I'm in the middle of a case right now," John pointed out, gesturing at the closed down hotel around them.
"I've brought beer," The Question said.
John smiled. "Should have led with that. The VCR on the lobby tele should be good, let's pop it in."
3 Hours Later
"Interesting lad," Constantine said thoughtfully. "Really got a practical mindset on him. He gave them the basics, didn't stray off into esoteric details the local bobbies wouldn't get. I'd give him five stars if I was judging him."
"And your impression of him?" Victor asked, having removed his pseudoderm mask so he could eat pizza and drink with the British Mage.
"He has a lot of respect for vampires, doesn't drop his guard, his staking technique is well practiced and a thing of beauty," John said thoughtfully. "Knows some big names among the blood suckers and seems rightfully upset they aren't dust. Very even tempered. That vamp he had on was trying to upset him, get him to react so he could take advantage of it, but that didn't happen."
"He seemed amused by what it was saying," Vic said.
"Nah, he was amused by the reactions from the police," John disagreed. "I'd say he's seen and heard worse. Probably has a hate boner for them the size of Big Ben, but he doesn't let it control him. I'll have to call old Angel and see what he thinks, maybe see if he can get a copy of the tape made of the lad being tortured."
"You know... Angel?" Vic asked curiously.
"I've ran into him a time or two," John admitted. "He's a wreck of a vampire because of the Gypsy curse. Romani and revenge go together like fish and chips. They're the one group I try my best to stay on the right side of."
"You should expand the list," Vic suggested before moving away from the English magician and covering his face with what looked like a thin sheet of silly putty and tossing a capsule at his feet, the burst of smoke rolling up his body, turning his gray suit blue and his red hair black.
"Still looks freaky as hell and that's me saying it," John noted before finishing his beer.
"Let me know what you find out," The Question said, tipping the brim of his hat before he left.
"Bring more beer," John replied to the departing detective before hitting rewind on the remote to watch the tape again. "Something familiar about the lad."
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"Hello?" Xander answered his phone as he drove, heading for Lake Tahoe at the north edge of the state where it bordered Nevada as he'd realized that he'd already spent nearly a week on his trip and hadn't even left the state.
"Hey Diana," he said with a grin. "Sure, I'd love to see you, but I'm currently doing fifty five miles an hour... Really? Cool! Drop right in."
Diana Prince appeared in the passenger seat in a flare of yellow light and Xander put his phone away. "Hello Xander," she said with a bright smile which he couldn't help responding to.
"I found a couple of more blank spots in my knowledge and filled them in," he told her with a grin.
"Oh really?" she said with a smirk, figuring he'd found out who she was.
"Yes, I discovered... MTV no longer plays music videos twenty four seven," he told her.
Diana giggled, positive he'd figured out who she was now and was just playing with her.
"Now they play something called Reality Television which is an abomination before the eyes of man and god," he said solemnly as she burst out laughing.
"I think a number of Greek Gods and Goddesses are addicted to watching it to tell you the truth," she said.
"Also either the deterioration of family ties or the growing kinkyness of society in general has given rise to something called step-sister porn."
"I think society has just become less rigid in that area," Diana said thoughtfully. "Family ties... I'm not sure how that factors in."
"Well I was talking to an FBI agent named Tod who made a really good case for it being caused by families no longer going on trips together and being forced to interact," Xander explained.
"How does that work?" she asked curiously.
"Apparently being forced to suffer together builds really strong bonds which used to be caused by forcing your children to spend hours together bored out of their minds in the middle of nowhere."
"That... huh," Diana said with a thoughtful frown.
"I know," Xander said. "Pearl assured me people just like the taboo nature, but Tod made some good points."
"I'll have to pass the idea on to some friends of mine," Diana said, "I dropped out of touch for a couple of decades and haven't really caught back up with everything."
"Understandable," he said and a comfortable silence fell in the car as they enjoyed the sun and wind.
"I'm quite a bit older than you," Diana said. "A lot of men tend to dislike that in a romantic partner."
"The girl I took to prom was over a thousand years old," Xander offered, "and a girl I dated named... Well we called her Ampata, which turned out to be the name of an exchange student she drained of life and replaced. Anyway, Ampata was over five centuries old, she was an Incan princess."
"How?" Diana shook her head. "I swear, your life makes mine look tame in some ways."
"I'm sure you have more stories than I do, just not packed in as tight a timeframe," he told her, "but anyway what I'm trying to say is your age is not remotely a problem."
"Or being royalty?" she asked.
"Also not something I have a problem with, as long as you don't mind dating a commoner," he teased her.
Diana smiled. "That would only come up if we're to become serious and my life is too hectic at this time to do more than casually date. Serious dating and commitment would require a few years before I'd agree. Possibly a decade."
Xander considered that for a minute. "That's more than fair," he decided. "But if either of us finds someone else and things get serious we share so we can at least remain friends."
"Fair," she agreed. "I doubt I'll be called to marry someone by my mother or find someone I'll instantly fall for, but stranger things have happened."
"Tell me about it," Xander said with a laugh. "I don't know if I'd love or hate a normal life, but I do know I'd probably have a hard time recognizing one if it were shown to me."
"Something I understand all too well," she agreed. "Now... tell me about your prom date. The number of women I know who are over a thousand years old and enjoy male company are rather few in number and I might recognize her."
"Anyanka the patron saint of scorned women according to the Catholic Church, Justice Demon, or rather former Justice Demon, according to her, and Vengeance Demon according to all the books on demonology I've read," Xander replied.
"I've heard tales," Diana said thoughtfully. "Never ran into her myself. How in the world did you end up taking her to prom?"
"Ah, well that story starts with the one I was going to tell you about my ex-girlfriend Cordelia almost breaking the world and releasing Hell on Earth."
"I was hoping to hear that one," Diana said with a smile.
"Well, William the Bloody Awful Poet of the Scourge of Europe, or Spike as he goes by now, was busy torturing me to make my best friend Willow cast a spell for him..."
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Kent Nelson's eyebrow went up as the red haired woman in a trenchcoat and fedora settled across the desk from him. He hadn't expected to run into Cheetah today, but even without the helm he felt his magic was up to the task.
"Thank you for seeing me," Barbara said politely and removed a leather bound journal from the inside pocket of her coat. "I came upon this book and it's simply too valuable to leave lying around where it could be lost or damaged and unfortunately the subject is a bit too unbelievable for most museums to accept it."
Kent relaxed a little as he accepted the book and opened it, scanning the contents as he slowly turned the pages. "My word... I knew Charles Darwin had become reclusive in his later years, but I had no idea it was because he'd developed lycanthropy."
"As you can see from my... condition, it's a subject I take a great deal of interest in," Barbara said delicately. "I'll need two copies made, one for myself and one for the friend who discovered it, but I'd like to know the original is safe in a collection with other scholarly works."
Kent's right hand glowed gold as he absently formed a sigil, causing two copies to appear on the desk in front of her. "This is fascinating. Of course the mind of one of the most brilliant natural scientists would delve deeply into the subject of the human soul when confronted with a magical malady of this magnitude."
Cheetah had frozen for a moment as he'd created the copies, but forced herself to relax. "I don't suppose you know of a cure for my condition?"
"No," he said, meeting her eyes, "but I do know of several ways to ameliorate it and make it easier to live with."
"And will you?" she asked hopefully.
"Yes, I do believe I will," he said kindly. "Tell me, how do you feel about Bast?"
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Diana paused midsong as they sang along with the radio and tapped her ear. "On my way," she said.
"Work?" Xander guessed and turned down the radio.
"Yeah," Diana's voice trailed off and she smirked. "I'm afraid I have to use the restroom. Would you mind pulling over so I can disappear behind a bush? It may take a while so you can go and I'll catch up."
Xander barely stopped himself from laughing. "Sure," he agreed, voice a bit choked up as he pulled over to the side of the road.
"Probably shouldn't have drunk that Big Gulp a half hour ago," Diana said, trying and failing to sound serious as she ran behind a tree and vanished in a burst of light.
Xander burst out laughing until tears came from his eyes. "Man, do I love women with a sense of humor," he said, before turning up the radio and pulling back onto the road.
Things were going pretty good now that he was off the Hellmouth, he had a car, a wallet full of cash, a nice chunk of his bank account as well, a shield forged by a god, a girl with a sense of humor who wasn't ready to go steady. He snickered mentally at the rhyme.
"What do I need to do?" he asked himself. "Already mailed off the earrings to Louise and a copy of the pamphlet to George. I need to make some sacrifices to the Greek Gods... I'll have to ask Diana how that's handled."
He pulled off the road to grab some food as he spotted a sign for McDonald's, sure he was forgetting something, but not quite sure what it was.
"If Willow was here I bet she'd remember," he said with a sigh as he pulled into the drive thru. "I swear I lose IQ points the farther we are away from one another. If only I could call..." Xander took out his cell phone and stared at it. "Yep, I'm an idiot."
"Welcome to McDonald's, what would you like to order?" the speaker crackled out.
"Two chicken sandwiches, large fries, large coke," he said. "Oh, add a second large fry and extra ketchup."
"Your order crackle ready crackle wgah'nagl fhtagn crackle just pull around," the speaker crackled out.
"Thank you," Xander said and pulled up behind a metallic gray minivan that he could see several children attempting to imitate a WWF wrestling match in the back of.
He shrugged and dialed in Willow's number, getting the answering machine and leaving a quick message and his number before calling Oz and getting his Mom who took down the number and promised to give it to him.
Xander watched as a young girl was flung out the open window of the van and rolled to her feet, tying her blonde pigtails behind her and giving out a roar before diving back in.
"Giles number is... Willow's too far away, I can't remember it," Xander complained. "Oh, I'll call Buffy." He had to pull forward again and watched an older teen boy go flying out the window who rolled on the ground and hammed up his defeat while the young girls cheered.
"Why do we gotta drink diet soda?" the teen asked as they opened the sliding door for him.
"Because if I fed you kids sugar I'm pretty sure the world would end," the father called back from the front seat with a grin.
"The school said we should try and wean you all off sugar for a month and see if you calm down," the mother reminded them, "and I'm pretty sure you've all ran through your candy stashes by now so we should see some results soon."
"I have enough to last us until October!" a young girl swore loudly.
"They get it from you," the mom told the father.
"Nah, they have yet to find my stash," he said smugly.
The mother groaned. "I'm the only sane person here, aren't I?"
The teenage boy grinned. "Yeah, but we love you anyway."
"Don't be so sweet and salty at the same time," she groaned, but it was obvious she was trying not to laugh.
Xander just grinned, enjoying the show as he called Buffy's house. "Hello Dawn?" He frowned in confusion. Who was Dawn?
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
Beta By: Abyssal Angel, Mist of Shadows, and Kyrin Fireheart
TN: Dun dun DUNNNNN!