"Morning Buffy," Willow greeted her friend as she joined them for breakfast on the Watchtower. "How are things?"
"Not bad, I'm learning a lot," Buffy replied. "One thing I've learned is that I'm nowhere near the best fighter that I thought I was."
"Really?" Willow asked, surprised.
"Really," Buffy repeated. "Starfire outclasses me in just about every way possible and if she wasn't such a great person it would be easy to hate her."
Oz looked at Buffy and raised an eyebrow making her blush.
"Yes, she makes me look like a flat chested midget in comparison, but I was referring to her strength and fighting skills," Buffy said. As he raised his eyebrow again, she glared at him and he raised a finger and pushed his eyebrow back down making her shoot him a smug smile.
"And the others?" Willow asked, changing the subject.
"Cyborg makes Ted look like he was made out of Legos by a third grader," Buffy said. "He's also unstoppable in Mario Kart."
"Does he plug himself into the console? Cause that would definitely be cheating," Willow said.
"No, he just knows all the tricks and secrets of the game," Buffy said. "He's also wickedly good at trash talking which throws me off my game."
Oz nodded slightly, acknowledging the need for good psychological defenses when playing competitive videogames.
"Raven is the only one I can regularly beat in unpowered sparring," Buffy said. "She may be able to sense what I'm going to do, but she can't move fast enough to counter it."
"And Robin was trained by Batman," Willow said.
"Yeah, I win two thirds of our matches, but to do that… I had to break out the Stooge-Fu," Buffy admitted, embarrassed.
"Stooge-Fu?" Willow asked.
Buffy sighed heavily. "Do you remember when Giles said that the best swordsman in the world doesn't fear the second best but the worst?"
"Yeah, Xander had grabbed the sword by the pointy end and clocked him," she said.
"Well, Xander sat me down one night and made me watch like, a ton of The Three Stooges movies," Buffy said. "He'd pause a lot and him and Dawn would copy the fights using sofa cushions."
"And that works?" Willow asked in disbelief.
"Martial arts are all about patterns," Buffy replied, "You know what the other person is going to do because there are only so many options, though there is a lot of variations. You don't think, you just respond, there's no time to think."
"Video game characters," Oz said with a nod.
"Exactly!" Buffy exclaimed. "You have all these pre-programmed responses that your body does without you even needing to think of them, letting you plan things out ideally."
"And Stooge-Fu breaks the patterns," Oz said with a sage nod.
"It does," Buffy agreed. "Even the silly little moves that aren't an attack takes you out of the zone, makes you think before you move and slows you down."
"And Robin as the best can't suddenly handle you as the worst," Willow said, eyes lighting up as she got it.
"He adapts quickly, but it does help trip him up," Buffy agreed.
"And Beastboy?" Oz asked.
"Knows Stooge-Fu," Buffy complained, "and worse… he's better at it than me!"
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"Wakey, wakey," Joyce called out.
"Bwah?" Xander asked blearily as he realized where he was and that there was a weight on his chest, a warm softly snoring weight.
"Time to get up," Joyce said, "I'll start on breakfast, you two can start on cleaning up."
Xander shook Dawn awake.
"Bwah?" Dawn asked as she woke up.
"Good morning," Xander said. "Time to get up, clean up, and then eat up."
"Ha, you slept with me," Dawn teased.
"Doesn't count," he told her.
"I think it counts more because I didn't have to get naked to convince you," she said smugly before getting to her feet and stumbling towards the stairs.
Xander just stared at the ceiling with a perplexed look on his face until Joyce burst out laughing.
"Um?" Xander asked.
"You always get that look on your face when she does the slept with you line," Joyce said, amused.
"Well… she has a point," Xander said before getting up.
"I know we've had this conversation several times too, though usually it's because you're not quite awake and have forgotten we've had it before."
"How does it end?" he asked curiously.
"That it means more because sex isn't involved," Joyce said. "Of course usually I'd tease you a bit first before getting to the point."
"That fits," Xander said. "I really hope Giles can restore my memory. Who knows how many inside jokes and things are going to go completely over my head now?"
"You may not consciously remember them, but you still act like you do," Joyce said. "Besides, you two made up new ones all the time just to mess with Buffy."
Xander grinned. "That does sound like me."
"Remember to lock the door if you're going to shower so Dawn doesn't 'accidentally' walk in on you again," Joyce said, hiding a smile as she returned to the kitchen.
"Funny," Xander said before pausing. "You're kidding, right?"
After a few seconds of silence he said, "I'm sure she's just kidding. But I always lock the door anyway."
He straightened up the living room and waited for Dawn to come back down before heading upstairs.
"I left you plenty of hot water," Dawn promised before ducking into the kitchen with his thanks in her ears. "Morning mom," Dawn said brightly.
"Someone is in a good mood I see," Joyce said as she plated some pancakes and set them on the table.
"I was afraid I'd have a Xanderless summer but here he is," she said brightly. "Which is good because my Xander levels were critically low."
"You did seem rather listless and cranky," Joyce teased. "Why, you haven't fought with your sister in at least a week.'
Dawn blinked. "But she hasn't been here all week."
"Like that's ever stopped you before," Joyce said.
"That's a good point," Dawn said with a frown. "Think I should call her up and read some of the more embarrassing moments in her diary to her?"
"That may get her to actually visit," Joyce said before shaking her head. "Let's call that plan B."
"I'll try and come up with some milder ideas," Dawn offered. "Pretty sure I have a list of ways to annoy her somewhere."
"It's open on your desk," Joyce said dryly, "I know because number one on the list is 'Make a list of ways to annoy my nosy older sister'."
Dawn smiled smugly. "And it worked."
Joyce checked the bacon and nodded before taking it off the stove. "Go let Xander know that breakfast is ready, please."
"I'm on it," she said with a bounce in her step.
"Oh, and rattle the bathroom doorknob and see if it's loose, I keep forgetting to check that," Joyce said.
"Sure," Dawn agreed.
Five Minutes Later
"What are those looks for?" Dawn asked Xander, confused.
"What looks?" Xander asked nervously.
"Those…" Dawn trailed off and examined her mom. "What did you say to make Xander nervous?"
"Me? What makes you think I did anything?" Joyce asked, the corners of her lips twitching.
"Did we get pranked?" Xander asked just before Joyce burst out laughing.
"Yeah, but I'm not sure what it was, just that you are suddenly nervous," Dawn said with a frown. "Mom asked me to let you know breakfast was ready and to check to make sure the bathroom doorknob wasn't loose."
Xander groaned. "Joyce may or may not have suggested that you regularly walk in on me in the shower this morning."
"Mom!" Dawn exclaimed, wide eyed. She quickly turned to Xander. "I have never!" She swore, then paused. "Not that I'm opposed to the idea, but it's… rude."
"And I thank you for that," Xander said with a relieved smile at Dawn that got a smile back.
"The most I do is wear a bikini while talking you into helping me shave my legs so I don't miss a spot," Dawn told him.
"Oh, that's fine," he said.
"And you just bought that?" Joyce asked, surprised.
"Why not?" Xander asked. "Willow had me helping her shave her legs since just before we started high school… Oh."
"You really don't get subtle girl signs," Dawn told Xander. "I mean, the only way she could have been more obvious was to have you check to make sure no stray hairs were sticking out of the bottom of her bikini."
"Um…"
"Wow, just wow," Dawn said.
"Sure, in hindsight it all makes sense," Xander said, "but in my defense…"
"In your defense?" Joyce questioned.
"The Mayor's memory spell made me remarkably dense," Xander offered.
"How much are you going to blame on him?" Dawn asked.
"Anything and everything I can get away with," he replied cheerfully.
"Do you really think he'd go that far?" Dawn asked, rolling her eyes.
"Virgin sacrifices provide more power," Xander said smugly, "so it's totally a thing he'd do."
Joyce and Dawn exchanged looks, silently asking if he was being serious or joking.
"That… is possible," Joyce conceded.
"It's either that or I was incredibly dense in my early teens," Xander said with a grin.
"Both are equally likely," Dawn decided.
"Yes, but now I have a half decent excuse to protect my fragile ego," Xander said, "plus I just really want to blame him for things."
"Which is fair," Joyce said.
"By the way, who is the Mayor now?" Xander asked.
"They're still trying to figure that out," Joyce replied. "Half the City Council died when he did, some melted, other's just went to the nearest cemetery and started digging a grave for themselves."
"That doesn't surprise me at all," Xander said.
"Let's move onto happier topics," Dawn said. "Where are you taking me today?"
"Taking you?"
"I've got a bunch of birthday coupons you gave me for outings," she replied. "I want to redeem one while we wait for Giles to call us back."
"What do you want to do?"
"Spend time with you," Dawn said. "I don't really care what it is as long as I can monopolize your attention before you leave."
"Well, that was blunt," Joyce said. At Dawn's deadpan look she chuckled. "Point taken."
"I need to repack my trip supplies," Xander said. "I packed for light magical reading and low monster levels which has turned out to be way too optimistic."
"Don't you avoid magic?" Dawn asked.
"I'm studying runes," Xander replied, "and it turns out I need an entire research library to take with me for when I'm on the road."
"So… your place?" she teased.
"My parents had me move into the basement so we can avoid them, which is good," Xander said, "but my room is mainly just a lot of boxes at the moment."
Dawn groaned. "I was totally flirting there," she told him, "and you don't have the Mayor's spell to excuse being dense anymore."
"Conditioned response," Xander told her, "I probably won't notice anything for a number of years."
"And suddenly I want to blow up the Mayor," Dawn said with a groan.
"Just pick some casual clothes you won't mind getting a bit dusty," Xander told her. "I'll show you my bedroom of boxes and then we can go to the laundromat and drink hot cocoa from the drink machine."
"I'll take it, be right back," Dawn said before heading for her room.
"A couple of years?" Joyce asked.
"When does she turn eighteen?" Xander asked with a smirk.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
Beta By: Abyssal Angel, Mist of Shadows, and Kyrin Fireheart
RUGoing2writethat - Omake
So chapters 22/23 got me thinking about Dawn and how much she loves Xander and if she would be jealous so...
Wonder Woman and Batman were talking about a recent trend they'd been seeing when a young girl's voice rang out in the hall.
"YOU! You... superpowered hussy!" said the voice. Wonder Woman turned around to see what appeared to be an angry 12 year old girl standing with her hands on her hips, glaring at her. "You leave Xander alone. He! Is! Mine!" The girl threw a punch with each of those 3 words, which Wonder Woman easily dodged, but they weren't just wild punches; someone had trained her and trained her well.
Wonder Woman turned back to Batman. "How did she..." but Batman had a puzzled look on his face, meaning he had no clue who she was nor how she'd gotten onto the watchtower, which was unusual to say the least. Wonder Woman turned back and said, "Look, I don't think Xander is the type of guy who would date a 12 year old..."
"Twelve years old?!" she screeched, her voice vibrating off the walls, "I will have you know that I am 15 years old and I'll be 16 in 2 months!" she said, stamping her foot. "Regardless of that, the moment I turn 18, Xander is mine, even if I have to kidnap him and sit on him until he agrees!"
"Fair enough. The moment you turn 18, if Xander wants to be with you as his girlfriend, then I will definitely back off."
The girl visibly brightened. "Thank you. Sorry about the Hussy comment..." she said sheepishly.
"It's okay. Nice punches, by the way. Who trained you?"
"Well, before my parents divorced, I convinced them to let me take karate at the best dojo in LA. My puppy dog eyes really work on my dad; he's like putty. And then I later convinced Xander to train me, so..."
"I see. Well, it shows. Those were very nicely executed. You should continue to take martial arts. You have talent."
"Thank you," she said, blushing. Wonder Woman turned to Batman who had, of course, disappeared, as had almost everyone else when they heard someone call Wonder Woman a 'superpowered hussy' and when she turned back, the girl was gone. "Well, I...am going to have to talk to Xander..." she said to herself as she walked away.
AN: The first Omake someone has written for this story! Though there have been several small scenes and jokes people have left in the reviews worth reading and laughing over, this is the first omake someone sent me for it!