THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR OATIENTW IM WORRY DOR THE DELETED CHAPTER AND CHANGE IN EVENTS I JUST HATED WHERE IT WAS GOING SO HERE IS AN EXTRA LONG CHAPTER AS A REWARD
ALL CHARACTERS OWNED BY JK ROWLING NOT ME
Chapter 8 ~ Breakdown
"We have come to visit Arthur Weasley" Tonks announced to the receptionist of St Mungos Magical Maladies and Injuries Hospital.
"Two doors on the left." The Weasley clan, Harry and Hermione all entered the hospital room to find a weakened Mr Weasley with Charlie, Bill, and a sleeping Mrs Weasley.
"Hey you lot," Mr Weasley rasped, his smile looking more like a grimace. Bill and Charlie got up to greet them and hug their younger siblings. Hermione was unable to say anything. Watching Mr Weasleys weakened state scared her beyond belief. He didn't look helpless, but resigned. Like he was ready to accept the worst. How does he do that? Hermione looked at the younger Weasleys who now crowded around Mr Weasleys bed, Harry off to the side. "Harry," He rasped out snapping Harry out of his reverie. "Thank you." Harry nodded, smiling slightly, he slipped out of the room and Hermione went to follow him.
"I'm going to get some tea," Hermione announced to the family, stepping out of the room. Catching up to Harry she concealed him in a hug. "Its going to be alright Harry." Hermione whispered unto his ear. Walking in silence, side by side, they found there way into the wing of permanent magical injuries.
"Would you like and autograph? I hear I'm quite the sensation eh?!" Sounded a familar voice.
"Is that?" Harry started.
"Lockhart," Hermione gasped. Turning therer heads they saw Gilderoy Lockhart in all his fame.
"Hey! You there! Have you come to see me!" Lockhart shouted to them. The nurse rushed over to them saying
"He doesn't get many visitors, it is very nice of you to show up." Hermione opened her mouth to say something but was speechless. Somehow she found her legs walking toward him.
"Here and autograph for you and you!"Shoving pieces of paper with indiscript writing.
"Oh! Uhm thanks..." Harry said questionably. "Were just going to uhm..."
"Get some tea!" Hermione cut in. Rushing away for the fake tea Harry and her made eye contact giggling ever so slightly. Instantly Hermione body checked someone unknown.
"Oh dear! I'm so...Neville?" Her voice reached up an octave.
"Hermione! Harry! Oh...uhm what...what are you doing here?" Harry saved Hermione from having to explain the complicated sitch.
"Mr Weasley. He uhm, hes sick."
"Oh sorry to hear that." An awkwards silence filled one another causing Hermione to cut in.
"What are you doing here Neville?" Before he could answer, an old woman came up behind Neville, in a...interesting outfit.
"Neville! Are you ready to go? oh hello, you must be some of Nevilles friends." Before they got the chance to answer she started up again. "Augusta Longbottom. We were just visiting Nevilles parents. Tortured into insanity back in 81', by Bellatrix Lestrange and other death eaters." Hermiones jaw dropped. Bellatrix Lestrange. Tortured. Mad? "Did Neville not tell you?" Hermione didn't even remember shaking her head. "Its something to be proud of Neville, you parents bravery."
"Yes Gran," he mumbled, his eyes staring at the ceiling.
"Well we best be off. Lets go Neville." Taking his arm, Mrs Longbottom dragged Neville from the ward. Hermione looked at Harry whos features hadn't shown the slightest bit of suprise.
"Did...did you know?"
"Yes. Dumbledore didn't want me to say anything. Its Nevilles news to tell." Hermione nodded sympathetically, still shook to her core.
"I can't believe it," she whispered to him. "Tortured into insanity by...her." Harry sensed her shook persona, taking her arm he said,
"Why don't we get back to the room yeah?"
Christmas Day
"Wake up Hermione. HERMIONE WAKE UP!" Her eyes shot open to see an ecstatic Ginny.
"Wot Gin.." Hermione asked in a low, tired tone.
"Dads home!" Ginny ran from the room leaving an exhausted Hermione half asleep. Getting up she grabbed wide legged pants, long sleeved top and sneakers. Going down the stairs two at a time she entered the loud and cheerful kitchen with a sallow but smiling Mr Weasley at the end of it.
"Happy Christmas Hermione! Breakfast?"
"Yes please Mrs Weasley." Sitting down in the only empty seat next to Bill, she took a bit of porridge and picked at it. Bill watched her play around with her breakfast inquisitively, throwing a look to Remus inconspicuously. Pretending to finish the food Hermione cleared off her plate and put it in the sink. Before she went to sit back down Tonks came crashing into the room knocking over a vase.
"Oh sorry Sirius!" Tonks apolgized regaining her balance.
"Dont worry about it Dora, it was my mothers just another thing i needed to get rid of."
"My parents are here! Everyone this is my dad Ted and-" Tonks was interrupted from the strangled scream of Hermione Granger. Shes here. How is she here. Bellatrix Lestrange. Her black curls, not wild though. Her smile. Hermionies heart was going a mile a minute, sliding down against the cupboard she faintly saw someone grab her, shaking her hard. Looking up she saw Tonks at eye level with her. "Hermione? Hermione whats wrong?" Tonks asked her worriedly. Bellatrix came toward her sitting down next to her. Why is she sitting here? What-?
"I'm Andromeda. Andromeda Tonks." Hermione sweaty eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "Bellatrix is my sister. We have a bit of resemblance." Understanding covered Hermiones being as she regained a steady heartbeat.
"I...i'm so sorry, I dont know..." Hermione trailed off inable to finish her sentence though Andromeda nodded her head, smiling sympathetically.
"Come on lets get you up." Andromeda helped Hermione up and she avoided her eyes as well as everyone else's.
"I'm going to uhm...go find Ron and Harry. I'm sorry." Running from the room she swept up the stairs and barged into her and Ginnys room which was pleasantly empty and silent. Sitting on the edge of her bed she dlowed her breathing. In and out in and out in and out. Once she had calmed down she strolled out of the room, actually going to find Ron and Harry. Going across the hall she found everyone playibg exploding snap. Sitting down quietly by them she began to read while the roaring game of exploding snap trolled onward. Hours passed which felt like years to Hermione until Mrs Weasley called them down for dinner. Following the twins down the stairs she took a seat far from Andromeda Tonks. Christmas Eve dinner was delicous, from what Hermione ate at least. Stories went around the table, friendly conversation, and laughs. Hermione mustered up as much happiness from the empty pit of her numbness. Hours went by until it reached 10pm when Mrs Weasley sent the children up to bed. Bidding everyone goodnight she exited the room hearing Andromeda say,
"What happen to the poor girl to make her fear my sister so?"
...
Sitting upright Hermione went to check the clock. 3:14am. It was like clockwork whenever she was here. Waking at the same hour, drenched in sweat, tears streaming down her face from the previous nightmare. Crawling out of bed she went down to the living room. This nightmare had been especially bad. Pacing back and forth around and around the room, picking at her finger nails, pulling the ends of her hair. Breath quickening, swear running down her forehead. Ringing, pounding louder and louder in her ears. Unknown to her Remus Lupin and Sirius Black stood frozen in the doorway.
"Hermione?" She heard faintly. Bellatrixs heels clacking on the ground one step at a time toward her. Pain in her arm as the knife sliced her like bread. Thrashing around and around from the cruciatus curse. The pressure of Lucius Malfoy and Rodolphus Lestranges bodies holding her onto the cold marble floor of Lestrange Manor. It was becoming to much. Picking her finger nails harder, pulling the ends of her hair. Harder. Her breath going in and out. Faster. The ringing and heel clicking louder and louder and-
"HERMIONE" Remus yelled loudly in her ear. The shock of the intrusion of noise helped her regain where she was. Living room. Fire. Grimmulad place.
"It won't stop," she whispered to him, lowering herself onto the carpeted floor. "It never stops," her voice cracked. Sobbing into her hands as she felt herself being hugged tightly.
"Hermione why don't we go to the couch," she heard a voice whisper. Getting up she shuffled to the couch, staring at the floor in a daze. "You need to talk to us Hermione," Sirius told her calmly, taking her hands in his. She shut her eyes tightly trying to cancel out eveyrhing.
"I can't..." she whispered back to them. "I'm so numb to it but I can't stop feeling at the same time." in Hermione sniffled slightly. "Snape uhm. Snape said that I needed a mind healer or something stupid like that. That I needed to talk to someone or he would find someone for me." The ringing began to subside but the anxiety remained.
"Hermione you need help," Remus told her kindly rubbing circles on her back.
"The scar...it bleeds still." Hermione said ignoring his previous comment. "I claw at it when I sleep. It never stops Remus. Never. Its never going to go away and i'm running out of long sleeved shirts." Hermione stood up again and continued to pace back and forth. Remus whispered something to Sirius and he left the room. Blood began to drip from her sleeve and she knew what was happening. With a shaking hand she rolled up her sleeve and began to dab at it with a piece of blood stained cloth in her pocket.
"Do you carry that around with you?" Remus asked taking a step closer to her mania.
"What if I am going insane too?" She asked him. "Look at Nevilles parents there..there vegetables after being tortured by her," Hermiones voice was growing louder by the word. "I'm going crazy to aren't I? Thats why I feel like this it makes sense doesnt it?" Hermione began to laugh, not a manic laugh but hysterically as tears fell from her eyes. Sirius came back into the room with a potion slipping it into Remus' hand.
"Hermione why don't you take a calming drought yeah?" Hermione didn't hear him.
"She! She is making me loose my mind! Ha! Something stupid that happened months ago! Still haunting me! I can't even look Tonks' mother in the face, practically lost it when she got here!
"Hermione-"
"And Malfoy! He knows about it too! He knows everything about it! He attacked me just 2 months back!"
"What?-"
"Punched him in the face after one mudblood to many but next thing you know i'm in the hospital wing with a concussion and Snape reprimanding me for not wanting to go in depth in the worst moments of my life! MY LIFE!"
"Hermione-"
"It doesn't stop it just gets louder! It never stops! The nightmares are the worst! I see her in detail, I feel her wand crucioing me EVERY NIGHT! Her knife piercing me, pulling my hair, doing something in my head. It was almost like she was in my mind! MY MIND! I saw my life flashing before my eyes quite litterally! Snippets of every moment I have ever lived! And its not enough that it already happned once, its happened about a billion times now because I can feel her EVERY NIGHT!" Hermione roared at the end of her scpeel. Looking around the room she saw a white faced Remus and a shook up Sirius Black.
"Hermione take the potion," Remus whispered, taling slow steps toward her as if she might lash out once more. Taking the potion in shaking hands she chugged it quickly letting the vial drop to the ground, smashing to pieces. All of the pent up rage, anger, fear, sadness, everything was letting go. It just took one more nightmare to do it. With the lack of adrenaline Hermione stumbled over, falling onto the floor just missing Sirius' attempt to catch her. Laying her head against the couch she stared distantly into the fire. Looking at it to five her answers to all of her issues.
"Hermione?" Sirius asked, stooping down to her eye level. "You need to tell us exactly what happen that night or we can't help you. It is painfully obvious whatever happened there is.. dampening your mood," Sirius attmeptrd to bring humor to the situation which wasn't acknowledged.
"Hermione please tell us." Remus whispered to her dazed persona. Hearing the plea in his voice she focused her bloodshot red eyes ontot them.
"Fine."
...
"I had read the paper earlier that day when I saw how Bella- She and some other death eaters had escaped Azkaban. My Mum and Dad had gone out to pick up some take out for supper, so I was alone. The doorbell rang and I went down wth my wand to see her on my porch. We dueled for a bit before it all went black.."Hermione trailed off quietly. Remus beckoned for her to go on with a warm look in his eye. She quitely continued on, "I woke up there. In her manor. She wanted information about the order and where the headquarters was but I didn't know." Her arm was now openly bleeding which she had decided to ignore. Maybe i'll just bleed out and it will all stop.
"What did my bitch of a cousin do." Sirius asked in murderuos tone earning a sharp look from Remus which Hermione took no notice of.
"Cruciatus curse, cutting curses, and when she saw my memories. I think she was looking for something in my head, it hurt so badly. She would grab my face and make me look into her black eyes to see every moment ive lived. And then she got bored an-" Hermiones breath hitched. She saw Remus' face drop slightly.
"Is that how you got it?" Sirius asked gesturing to the scar. Remus got up quickly
"Oh Merlin Hermione your bleeding a lot." Remus said picking up the already bloodied towel and pressing it to Hermiones arm. "Sirius, hold this here, I need to send a patronus to Severus to look at this. Hermione has it ever bled this much before?" Hermione shook her head yes in defeat. Theres no point in lying they know everything. While Lupin called Snape, Sirius tried to focus her attention off her incredibly bloody arm.
"How often do you have such nightmares?" He asked with immense concern.
"Almost every night now." Sirius increased the pressure on her arm with worry blanketed over his face. "I'm tired Sirius," she slurred. The blood loss ontop of the rush of adrenline that was crunbling from earlier was beginning to take a toll.
"No no, Hermione you gotta stay up for just a while longer until-" He looked up at the two men enterinng the room. "Severus is going to help you okay you just need to stay awake." Hermione barely nodded in acknowledgment as the edges of her vision began to cloud.
"Get her on the couch," Snape ordered, striding quickly across the room to Hermiones shaken form. "You weren't exaggerating Lupin," Snape mumbled. Uncovering the bloodied towel, the potions master looked down on the wound, echoing the same angry way it looked the first time he saw it. Taling out his wand he started to perform spells, oblivious to Hermione who cloudy vision started to blacken which Remus noticed.
"Hermione stay awake, you can't sleep yet."
"mkay" she breathed tiredly. Her eyes fluttering to stay concious. Minutes passed as silence commenced the room while Snape worked dilligently. After twenty minutes he stood up, his hands bloodied. Taking a vial from his fones he held it to her lips.
"Miss Granger I need you to take this potion." To tired to fight she nodded weakly, feeling the burning liquid of blood replenisher. "I stopped the bleeding though she lost a lot of blood. What happened to put her in such deliurium?" Snape asked quitely while gazing at the paled girl.
"She had nightmare" Remus told him. "We found her in here pulling her, picking at her fingers and pacing back and forth. She brokedown talking about how bad the nightmares were and how she could feel Bellatrix hurt her all the time. It was concerning to say the least." Snape drew his gaze from Hermione to Lupin, avoiding Blacks eye completley.
"This was bound to happen. I told her two months ago that she needed to find a source of help or an outlet. I'm not suprised." He drawled in a low tone. "Let me know when she wake and her condition incase I must return to deal with...it." Snape finished, glancing at her bandanged arm once more before leaving the room. With Snapes exit Hermione promptly fell asleep.
...
Hermionee eyes opened to pitch black darkness engulfing the room. Blinking a few times she realized she was back jn her and Ginnys room. How did I get here? Confusion set in but she still hadnt moved from her watm bed. Peering over at the clocl a jolt kf shock ran throught her. 8:36pm. Turning back onto her pillow she looked up at the plain ceiling. Hearing the creaking of the door she heard someome creep inside.
"Mornin, or should I say evening," The voice spoke. Hermione quickly realized it was Ron.
"Ron?" Hermione croaked out, suprised by how raw her throat felt. Hearing tjis, Ron went to her nightstand, granbing her a glasx of cool water which she drank generously.
"How are you?" Ron asked her, sitting on the edge of her bed carefully.
"Spectacular," She responded bluntly, avoiding his worried eye.
"Mhm. Sirius told me and Harry, just me and Harry," He added hastily by Hermiones worried expression. "He didn't tell us much but that you sorta lost it wnd your scar opened up and bled orety bad wfter a bightmare." Hermione blinked uo at his worried eyes. His eyes are beautiful. Shaking this thought away she responded,
"Yes well..yeah That happened."
"You said you would take care of it. That you woudl talk to somebody. Why did you lie to us." Hermione felt a burst of guilt at this.
"I didn't mean to lie to you both. Your my best friends. I just..thought if I ignored this long enough I would forget about it and the memory would fade. I wanted it to go away so badly, I still do. It just won't and I realized last night it won't ever," Hermione calmly responded, sitting up right looking into his blue eyes. His face softened at this response, easing up from the bed.
"Okay. Im going go let Remus know your awake." Ron walked quietly from the room leaving Hermione in an era of lonliness. It felt like forever she sat there until the door creaked open again with Remus entering.
"Hello Hermione, sleep well?" He looked tired. Bags under his eyes and wrinkle lines visible on his forehead.
"Yes.. yes i slept fine," Hermione stammered, cautoiusly avpiding his gaze.
"Hermione.."
"Im sorry," she began. "I don't know what happen last night.. I just snapped and I shouldn't have Im not sure what came over me-"
"Hermione stop." Remus searched for her gaze snd looked into her brown eyes. "Don't apologize, we should've known you would be struggling and we didn't help you. The adults in your life failed you, its our fault for not seeing."
"No, it isn't" Hermione looked up. "You didn't see because I didn't want you to. The whole point was that none of you would know because I thought it would go away, not get worse." Remus nodded in understanding turning his eyes to the creaking door. "Severus should be here about now to redress your wound just to be safe to make sure it doesn't get infected." As if Remus had summoned him Snape came into the room, his robe billowing.
"Lupin leave us please." Snape said looking at Remus. His eyebrows rasied slightly but he left the room closing the door behind thrm. "Miss Granger..."
"I'm sorry sir. I didn't mean-"
"Quiet." Hermione held your breath. "It has become clear that you are unable to cope with the recently traumatizing events yourself," He began as he unwrapped her arm. Hermione looked at it this time, unable to tear her eyes, the red angry letters glaring at her. "You will meet with me every Monday night after dinner at approximately 8pm. On the headmasters orders." The potions master added to her shocked features. "You have no choice in the matter."
Hermione looked up at the potions professor, his expression unreadable. "Okay.. Fine. If Professor Dumbledore thinks so." She said, trying to convince herself more than anything.
"The wound doesn't need to be wrapped again during the day but you will wrap it at night to prevent it's reopening until you have rid yourself of such nightmares." Snape told her, rising from the bed snd exiting the door. "8pm sharp Miss Granger."