This one-shot omake was inspired by Mew's Most Excellent Adventure, written by Vebulus, and a guest comment in chapter 13. Please check out the original story.
Last Time on Mew's Most Excellent Adventure:
"So let me get this straight, Garp. You handed control of the ship you borrowed to Morgan so that he could chase down the pirate that defeated him because you felt it was the right thing to do. Then, because Morgan had your ship, you had a mini vacation on an island full of exotic animals. Am I correct so far?"
Garp nodded as he chewed on a rice cracker. A package of which Garp had stolen from Sengoku's desk.
"While on that island, you ended up fighting this black and pink bear."
"Bewear, sir," Garp said as Sengoku gestured to the bear Pokemon that stood placidly beside Garp.
"Ended up fighting this Bewear when this trio." Here, Sengoku gestured to the three people standing, or at least pretending to, at attention along the wall. "Rocketed out of the sky and crashed to the ground near you. Whereupon, for some reason, you decided that they would make excellent Marines and recruited them?!"
"They did survive a high-speed impact with no major injuries, sir."
Sengoku glared at Garp, one eyebrow twitching violently before he sunk down into his chair. "Fine. Why don't the three of you introduce yourselves."
The trio paused for a moment before falling into what Sengoku was quick to realize was a very well-rehearsed scene.
"Prepare for trouble." "And make it double."
"To protect the world from devastation." "To unite all people within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love." "To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse." "James."
"Team Rockets blasting off at the speed of light." "So surrender now or prepare to fight!"
"Meowth, that's right."
Total silence.
"Garp."
"Yes, Senny?"
"Get the hell out of my office, get the hell off of Marineford, and go back to vacation until I call you."
The five Marines quickly scampered out of the room as Sengoku began to glow gold.
"And take your new crew mates with you!" Sengoku shouted as he slammed the door to his office shut and stomped over to his desk. He pulled out a bottle of Scotch and a shot glass. He splashed some of the golden liquid into the glass before chugging the contents of the bottle in one go.
"I need to retire… wait, did that cat thing just talk?"
And Now…
Garp stood at the bow of the Marine ship, his broad shoulders framed by the rising sun, casting a long, imposing shadow across the deck. The crew held their breath, bracing themselves for the next ridiculous command their Vice Admiral would undoubtedly deliver.
With a loud, bone-popping crack of his knuckles, Garp raised a fist, the sound reverberating over the waves like a war drum.
"All right, newbies!" he roared, his gravelly voice carrying the weight of absolute certainty and zero foresight. "Your first mission as Marines… GO FIND LUFFY AND BRING HIM TO ME!"
Before the trio of "recruits" could protest, Garp hurled his fist forward with the force of a tidal wave. The air didn't just ripple—it shattered, sending shockwaves barreling across the sea.
"WHAAAA—!" Jessie's scream split the morning calm.
"WHY US?!" James flailed, his voice cracking with despair.
"WE DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS!" Meowth shrieked, his claws scrabbling for nonexistent purchase on the deck.
The three were launched into the sky like a trio of human (and feline) cannonballs. Their panicked cries faded into the distance, becoming nothing more than faint wails on the horizon. Finally, they vanished entirely, reduced to little more than a twinkling sparkle far above the ocean.
Koby stepped forward hesitantly, a bead of sweat sliding down his temple. He gazed at the now-empty patch of sky, his concern evident. "…Will they be okay?"
Garp grinned, stuffing another rice cracker into his mouth. "They survived a full-speed crash from the sky with no broken bones. A teeny punch like that won't do much harm… probably." He laughed heartily, the sound vibrating through the ship and making every crewmember visibly wince.
"Probably?" Helmeppo whispered nervously to Koby.
"Don't question it," Koby muttered back.
Garp turned back toward the ship, dusting his hands off like he'd just completed a morning workout. "Alright! Let's get moving! We've got more pirates to punch before lunch!"
The crew groaned collectively, already mourning what little sanity they had left.
Meanwhile, Elsewhere on the Grand Line…
The Going Merry rocked gently near a quiet islet, the Straw Hats enjoying a rare moment of peace. Luffy was halfway through demolishing a mountain of meat, his delighted laughter mingling with the rhythmic crash of waves. Nami reclined under a wide umbrella, sipping from a cool drink as Sanji grilled fish nearby, the scent wafting across the beach. Usopp balanced precariously on some seaside rocks, a fishing pole in hand, while Zoro lay sprawled under a tree, snoring loudly with his swords resting within reach. Even their mascot, Mew, snoozed in the Merry's crow's nest, basking in the sun.
For once, there was no chaos—just laughter, relaxation, and the sound of the sea lapping at the shore.
Naturally, it didn't last.
"Hey! I got another bite!" Usopp shouted, his reel spinning wildly as the fishing line went taut. "Whoa—this one's huge!" He dug in his heels, but whatever was on the other end yanked him forward with terrifying force.
The water began to churn violently, bubbles surging to the surface until—
BOOM!
With a thunderous hiss, a towering mechanical vessel erupted from the sea, steam blasting skyward. Shaped like a massive fish, the submarine gleamed under the sun, its polished hull throwing dazzling reflections across the waves.
"What the hell is that?" Nami shrieked, leaping to her feet.
The rest of the crew snapped into action. Zoro's hand rested on his sword hilt as he stood, eyes narrowing. "Looks like trouble."
Sanji grabbed a pair of tongs off the grill, tossing them aside as he lit a cigarette. "Just when the fish was almost ready."
Luffy, between chews, looked up at the vessel with curiosity, which only grew when the vessel's hatch opened with a metallic clang.
A trio of familiar figures leaped onto the deck, each striking an exaggerated pose as the breeze swept dramatically through their Marine uniforms.
"Prepare for trouble on the high seas!" Jessie declared, her voice dripping with flair.
"And make it double, we do as we please!" James added, mirroring her.
"To capture the pirates who dare to defy!" Jessie proclaimed, pointing an accusing finger toward the Straw Hats.
"And show them the law they cannot deny!" James followed, his voice brimming with pompous authority.
Meowth leapt to the forefront, arms spread wide. "To climb the ranks while makin' a name!"
"Jessie!" she cried with a hair toss.
"James!" puffed James, standing tall.
"And Meowth, the star of the game!" Meowth grinned smugly.
Jessie and James crossed their arms with flair as Jessie delivered the final line. "Sailing with ambition, under the Navy's might!"
James sneered dramatically. "Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth, that's right!" Meowth finished as an inexplicable barrage of explosions erupted behind them, scattering colorful smoke.
For a long moment, the only sound was the gentle lapping of waves. The Straw Hats stared, blinking in disbelief.
"...What the hell was that?" Zoro muttered flatly.
Nami groaned, pressing her fingers to her temples. "They practiced that. They actually practiced that."
"They even had pyrotechnics," Sanji growled, lighting a cigarette. "What a waste of time."
Usopp raised an eyebrow, utterly confused. "Why are they so… weird? Are they supposed to be scary or something?"
Luffy, on the other hand, was absolutely ecstatic. Stars glittered in his eyes as he clapped his hands like a kid at a magic show.
"WOAH! THAT WAS AWESOME!" he shouted, bouncing in place before suddenly gasping and turning towards his crew. "Guys, we need a motto like that! Something cool and dramatic to announce ourselves before we fight!"
"Absolutely not," Nami said without hesitation.
"We're not doing that," Zoro added firmly.
"We're pirates, not circus performers," Sanji scoffed.
"Don't even ask me to write it," Usopp interjected, waving his hands.
"But c'mon, guys! It'd be so—"
"NO!" the crew shouted in unison.
Jessie huffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Honestly, you pirates are hopeless. At least we understand the value of an entrance."
James nodded smugly. "Presentation is everything."
Meowth wagged a claw at the Straw Hats. "Youse guys don't know what you're missin'! Half the battle's in the delivery!"
Luffy wasn't listening anymore. His attention was squarely on Team Rocket, a giant grin plastered across his face. "Hey! You guys wanna join my crew? You've already got the motto down!"
Jessie recoiled as if she'd been insulted. "Join your crew? Please! We're professionals."
James dusted off his gloves, nose in the air. "We have standards, you know."
Meowth grinned wickedly and pressed a button on a remote. "And youse guys are comin' with us!"
With another explosion of water, a massive, cat-shaped mecha emerged from beneath the waves. Its gleaming metallic head glared at the Straw Hats, its glowing eyes flickering ominously. Then, it let out a mechanical roar that shook the shore.
"Say hello to the Meowthtron Mark 50!" Meowth declared, striking a triumphant pose. "Let's see how youse handle this!"
Luffy's jaw dropped in awe, stars back in his eyes. "COOOOOOL! A TALKING CAT AND A GIANT ROBOT! Guys, we really need to step up our game—"
"LUFFY, SHUT UP!" the crew yelled as the robot charged forward, chaos breaking loose.
The Straw Hats scattered as the mecha swiped a colossal metal paw at them, the force sending waves rippling across the ocean. Luffy darted forward, his laugh ringing out over the din of battle.
"Gomu Gomu no Bullet!" His fist rocketed toward the robot's head, slamming into it with a resounding clang.
The Meowthtron staggered slightly, steam hissing from its joints. It roared, stomping one massive foot toward Zoro. He sidestepped effortlessly, unsheathing his swords with a gleam of steel. "A big tin cat, huh? Let's see how sharp your claws are."
He charged forward, his blades leaving deep gashes in the robot's legs as sparks flew. The robot retaliated with a swift swipe of its metal paw, but Zoro spun out of the way, smirking. "Too slow."
Meanwhile, Sanji launched himself into the air, his cigarette trailing smoke as he executed a flawless midair flip. "Flanchet Shoot!" His kick slammed into the Meowthtron's chest, leaving a dent in the armor.
"You scratched the paint job!" James wailed from the cockpit.
"FOCUS!" Jessie snapped, slamming a lever forward. The Meowthtron retaliated with a sweeping tail strike, forcing Sanji to backflip out of range.
Team Rocket clung to their controls as Jessie barked, "Hold steady! Don't let these pirates embarrass us!"
Meowth was furiously mashing buttons, his claws a blur. "Quit yappin' and squash 'em already!"
"Hey!" Team Rocket turned to the sound of the rubber man's shout, who was now latched around the mecha's arm with fervor. "Can I drive this thing? It looks AWESOME!"
"GET OFFA THERE!" Meowth screeched, frantically mashing buttons. The Meowthtron shook its arm violently, trying to dislodge Luffy, but he clung tight, laughing like a child on a carnival ride. Eventually, Luffy loosened his grip, allowing the robot to fling him away up into the air.
"Alright, let's finish this! Gomu Gomu no-!"
"Oni-!"
"Poiutrine-!"
"They're preparing their final attack!" James began to panic.
"Calm down! This is where our countermeasure comes in!" Meowth shouted as he flipped a switch on the panel.
"-Pistol!"
"-Giri!"
"-Shoot!"
The trio sounded off their attacks as fist, blade, and foot moved in tandem for the robot's chest to destroy it once and for all - just as a panel slid open, revealing a strange blue creature standing within, front and center.
"Wobbuffet!" the creature saluted.
Unable to halt their momentum, the trio's attack collided with the creature just as its skin began to glow with a bright orange aura. Much to their shock, their attacks ricochet right back at them, even stronger than ever, sending a shockwave through the beach.
"What the-?!" Zoro grunted as his own attack grazed his cheek, drawing blood.
"What did that thing do!?" Sanji yelped, feeling the pain of his own kick recoil back up his leg.
Luffy fared no better. His stretched-out fist suddenly rebounded right back into him, and he punched himself right in the face. Luffy was launched backward, crashing headfirst into a tree. Even with his rubbery constitution, he groaned, dazed. "That… actually hurt…"
Team Rocket chortled from within the mecha.
"Good luck getting past our darling Wobbuffet here!" Jessie crooned mockingly, infuriating the swordsman further. "Whatever you guys can dish out, we'll just send it right back at double the power!"
"Wobbuffet!" the Pokemon saluted again in agreement.
"Well damn, looks like these guys aren't just a bunch of jokers after all," Sanji muttered, shaking out his leg.
"Luffy! Zoro! Sanji! Keep it distracted!" Nami ordered, pulling Usopp aside. "We need to deal with that thing." She pointed to Wobbuffet.
"Leave it to me," Usopp nodded.
The trio launched renewed attacks, but the Meowthtron countered every move, twisting and pivoting with surprising agility for a 10-ton robot. Each time they struck, the blue blob absorbed the damage and sent it hurtling back with devastating force.
Inside the cockpit, James giggled. "Looks like they haven't learned their lesson yet!"
"Yeah, give it up already!" Meowth grinned, his claws blurring over the controls. "This kitty's got more than nine lives!"
Rounding behind the robot, Nami pointed decisively. "Usopp, now! Hit its right leg with an explosive!"
"On it!" Usopp loaded a bomb into his slingshot, aiming carefully before letting it fly. The projectile struck the robot's leg with a fiery explosion, sending Wobbuffet hurtling out of the cockpit with a comical scream.
"WOOOOOBBUFFETTTTT!" The Pokémon crashed face-first into the sand, its head buried in the ground.
The Meowthtron swayed unsteadily, sparks flying from its joints. Inside, Team Rocket was in full-blown panic.
"YEAH!" Usopp cheered, punching the air. "That's what you get when you mess with Captain Usopp!"
"It's falling apart!" James cried, gripping the controls.
"Hit the emergency eject!" Jessie screamed, yanking at a lever.
"Too late!" Meowth yowled, though his claws were a blur on the console.
Luffy's arms stretched back as he wound up his final attack.
"Gomu Gomu no… BAZOOKA!"
With a deafening CRASH, his palms slammed into the Meowthtron's chest, shattering it into a thousand pieces across the beach before detonating. The explosion sent debris raining into the sea and launching Team Rocket skyward with a resounding boom.
"Well, looks like we're blasting off again." James sighed, already fairly used to this sort of thing.
"Yeah…" Jessie groaned while clinging to James as smoke trailed from their singed uniforms. "Something tells me this isn't over."
"Look on the bright side!" Meowth chimed in, battered but smiling. "We still got style!"
"Wobbuffet!"
Halfway through their ascent, a familiar pink and black blur appeared on the horizon. Bewear sprinted across the water with impossible speed, leaping into the air and snatching them mid-flight.
The Straw Hats watched, slack-jawed, as Bewear landed and continued running on the water with Team Rocket in tow.
Jessie sighed in Bewear's arms. "This feels… nostalgic."
"Yeah," James agreed wistfully. "Like old times."
"Wobbuffet!"
From the beach, Luffy's grin threatened to split his face in two. He pointed after them, stars in his eyes. "COOOOOL! A BEAR THAT RUNS ON WATER! HEY, JOIN MY CR—"
"SHUT UPPP!" the rest of the crew shouted in unison, dragging him down before he could take off after them.
As Bewear disappeared into the horizon, the Straw Hats slumped to the ground in relief.
Luffy stared after the scene, still grinning. "Man… that was awesome."
Meanwhile, a rustling in the brush behind them alerted them to the return of their newest crewmember.
"Hey, Sanji, I managed to find some fruit like you ask–" Gin's remark was cut short as he looked around the now-tattered beach. "...What the hell did I miss?"
High above the Going Merry, perched atop the mast, Mew floated lazily alongside a giggling child clad in a sailor's raincoat, holding a tiny wooden hammer. The two watched the scene below with mischievous delight, as though they'd orchestrated the entire mess just for fun.
The child grinned, leaning toward Mew. "Those guys were fun. Think they'll meet again?"
Mew spun gleefully in the air, its eyes sparkling with playful intent. "Mew!"