I don't own these characters; DC/the CW does.
2: Self-knowledge
It started as an itch. Lena was still in bed, curled up against Alex. She pressed as close as possible, engulfed by the best aroma. She rubbed the roof of her mouth with her tongue and wiggled her nose, like trying to hold off a sneeze. The wiggle did not help, but she did it again. Things only got worse.
Kara chuckled from behind her, nuzzling her ear. "You smell it coming."
Lena groaned. "Shut up." She did smell it — Alex's rut. It was in her nose, her mouth, her lungs. It was delicious and intoxicating. I want more of it now.
Another chuckle. "She's not even there yet."
That was impossible. Lena wanted to bury her nose in Alex's neck, sink her teeth into tender flesh, and ride Alex until she was full of Alex's pups. Shit!
Lena leaped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom. She was hot, burning up as if she was sick with a fever. She dripped with desire, thighs slick almost to her knees. A shower was a necessity. But, getting fucked by your alpha would be even better. She shook the dirty thought from her head and jumped in the water, not caring about the temperature.
In the shower, Lena put peppermint oil in a diffuser, filling the bathroom with the fragrance. She let a cold spray rain down on her. The chill and whiff of mint, helped her clear her head enough to think straight.
She stayed in the bathroom, doing everything she needed to leave in the small space. She managed to escape the penthouse before she saw Alex again, even though part of her wanted to seek Alex out and let Alex pin her to the nearest flat surface. No, no, no. She shook the mental image away before her shower was in vain.
She made it to her car and sighed to the point her shoulders drooped. She ordered her driver to take her someplace far away with breakfast. Despite her horrible manners and directive, the car moved. Her phone went off less than a minute after the car pulled away from the curb.
Now, you understand how I felt, Alex had the nerve to text with a smiley face. Lena frowned. I hope your scent concealer is as good as mine. If not, omegas would be all over her alpha. She would not stand for it.
This isn't my first time. Have a good day. Lena sighed. Alex was right. Alex had ruts before just as Lena had heats before. Alex could take care of herself. Yes, Alex can take care of herself.
That thought carried her for about twenty minutes after she got to work. Her leg bounced as she sat at her desk, trying to make sense of the figures in front of her. Her concentration was so shot for want of checking on Alex to the point her brain could not process a single thing in front of her. She gave in once it was clear she would get nothing done otherwise. She called Alex.
"Yes?" Alex answered her phone.
"I'm going crazy," Lena admitted.
"You can come down to my lab and make it worse."
Lena perked up. "Do you want me to?"
Alex chuckled. "Yes, but for work, not what you're thinking about. I'm probably not even going into rut until tomorrow."
Impossible! "No way. You…" Lena trailed off. Alex's scent was way too strong for her to make it to tomorrow.
"Yeah, it's not as bad as it seems once I put my scent concealer on. Me and Fatinah were just working together and she barely spared me a glance."
Lena held in a growl. Her alpha shared a small space with another omega so close to her rut? She let some other omega bask in that glorious scent? Sacrilege! Whoa, calm the hell down. She was not used to being this possessive, not with Kara, not with any other alpha she dated. This was new and she was not sure what to make of it. I'm going crazy.
"Alex, if it's all right with you, I think I'm going to skip lunch with you today." Lena did not trust herself right now, not if she was so possessive. She might try to scent-mark Alex. She had never done such a thing before, but she had an urge to do it now to keep other omegas away from Alex.
Alex made a noise. "Are you okay? I was teasing before about you knowing how it feels."
Lena sighed and rubbed right above her eye. It did nothing for the slight headache starting to tap at her skull. "How did you manage?"
A hollow laugh echoed through the phone. "I'm less secure than you, so I convinced myself you didn't want me around anyway."
Lena frowned. "That's both terrible and untrue."
"I know, but it helped. You, however, know that's untrue. Have lunch with Kara. I'll go out with Vas. And head straight home at the end of the day. No one else in the lab either."
Lena almost preened at Alex giving in, but no, it was too much. "Alex, don't let my bout of omega insanity dictate your life."
Alex laughed. "No, this is my alpha insanity. I want to make you happy and not worry."
"I'm not actually worried. I understand I'm being crazy. Please, do whatever work you need to do with whoever you're working with." Intellectually, she understood Alex would not be with any other omegas. Hell, other omegas probably were not thinking about Alex. These people had seen Alex in the gym and managed to move on with their lives. Yes, so chill out.
"If you're sure," Alex said, drawing her out of her thoughts.
"I insist. As I said, I understand I'm being crazy. Don't give in."
"But, it's cute," Alex replied with a laugh.
Lena rolled her eyes, even though she kind of liked this. Alex deserved to feel desired and she was so desired right now. But, also, Lena did not need this bit of insanity fed. She did not want this notion to grow with positive reinforcement.
"I'm hanging up now," Lena said.
"Okay. I have work to do anyway."
They ended the call. The exchange was enough for Lena to work until Kara showed up to distract her again. Kara arrived with lunch in hand and on her phone. Lena arched an eyebrow.
"The food for Alex's thing," Kara explained before turning her attention back to the phone. She was responsible for catering for Alex's rut to ensure Alex got spoiled with her favorite foods.
Lena nodded. "Everything all right?"
"It's fine." Kara's face did not know that, though. "They're just trying to make it a big deal. They'll regret it."
Lena nodded and moved from her desk to the sofa. Whatever the issue was, Kara would have her way. She spent too many years working for Cat Grant to lose any battle over the phone. A minute hardly passed before Kara sat down next to her. Kara dropped her phone to the side and she blew out a long breath.
"Battle won?" Lena asked.
Kara smiled to the point her eyes sparkled. "Of course. They were complaining about the open time frame, but they already agreed to it. Can't change the rules midway through."
"So true." Of course, they had not specified why they needed the open time frame. It did not matter. The price alone should have shut the service up after they agreed to the job.
Kara gave her a delayed kiss. "How are you? No lunch with Alex?"
Lena groaned and scrubbed her face with both hands. "I'm awful. I got jealous when she said she was in her lab with Fatinah. I keep calling her 'my alpha' in my head, too."
Kara shrugged. "Doesn't seem too bad. She is your alpha, after all."
Lena sighed and sat back against the cushions. "Until we have that discussion, she is not. I don't like being jealous. I'm quite secure in my relationships with both of you, but right now I don't want another omega sniffing after Alex."
Kara laughed. "They're not, but okay."
Lena sucked her teeth. "I'm fully aware of that intellectually, but instinctively not so much. It doesn't help that I can smell her so vividly, but that must be due to familiarity and emotional intimacy. The only other person who has that with her is you."
"Too bad I'm not an omega to confirm that for you. I only have a good sense of smell and I'm certain we experience this differently."
"It's fine. This is such an adjustment for me. I hope I have a lifetime to adjust." Lena smiled.
"I like the sound of that." Kara wrapped her arm around Lena's waist. "You should tell her she's your alpha. She'll agree, of course, and I bet she'd love to say you're her omega."
Lena liked the idea, the sound of being Alex's omega. She hummed. "Maybe tonight. It'll be a little pre-rut treat for Alex. She doesn't think her rut will hit until tomorrow."
Kara nodded. "Yeah, She doesn't smell ripe yet."
Lena burst out laughing. "Please tell me you don't say that to her face. Wait, this is you and her, so of course you do."
"And she hates it. I love that woman." A dopey smile settled on Kara's face for a moment.
Lena laughed. "You're terrible. Both of you are just so terrible. She won't know what to do with herself when you're not being an absolute brat to her."
"She's going to fight us on this, even though it's what she wants."
"Good thing we know how to fight back."
Kara grinned. "And we fight dirty when it comes to her."
"Especially when it's for her own good."
Kara nodded. They had already planned out what they would do for Alex's rut. Alex being Alex and also an alpha to an almost annoying degree would definitely fight them on it. After all, Alex did not believe in self-care.
-8-8-8-8-
Alex wanted to concentrate on what Vasquez was saying, but it was impossible. Since Lena's call that morning, her focus was shot to hell. If an emergency happened right now, she would be worthless. She was barely capable of sitting upright at the cafe table.
"Danvers, you good?" Vasquez asked, snapping her fingers in front of Alex's face.
Alex blinked and shook her head to clear her brain. "I'm sorry. Mind's a million miles away." She did not even remember where they ended up for lunch. Glancing around, the taco menu was hard to miss. Okay, they ended up at the Mexican restaurant a few blocks from the L-Corp building.
Vasquez nodded. "You said your rut's due, right?" She bit into one of her three tacos.
"Yeah, I thought tomorrow, but with the way I feel right now, I might go home early." Lena's words set her on edge and it was like it was pushing her biological drive a bit faster than usual.
Vasquez's eyebrows shot up and she swallowed. "You never go home early."
"Yeah, but Lena got all possessive of me this morning and it's pushed the process along. I'm not used to that." Alex blew out a breath. She picked up her own taco and took a huge bite, hoping it would ground her.
Vasquez's brow wrinkled. "With Lena?"
"With omegas… partners in general. Maggie was above it all. Kara doesn't get it. I mean, she's possessive of me, but not as like I'm her alpha or something." With Kara, it was so much larger than that and she doubted she could explain it to Vasquez. It hardly made sense to her.
"Wow." Vasquez regarded her with a tilt of her head. "You didn't even go through the bullshit high school stuff?"
Alex shook her head. "Nope. First time for me, and I'm a little ashamed to say it feels nice." She lived her life in a drowning sensation of not being enough. Lena's moment of insanity informed her that she was enough, she was wanted, desired. In fact, she was so enough, Lena did not want anyone else to have her.
"Damn. Don't be ashamed. Most of us get over that shit because it happens in our teens and twenties. You present and go chase down your opposite and giggle and coo and puff up, but you were damn near married when you presented. You missed a lot of very stupid character development."
Alex laughed. "I guess."
Vasquez ate the rest of her first taco. "You should play out all of that nonsense now that you have the chance. It'll help you feel more secure and stable."
Alex had not thought of that, but now was a good time for it. She was in a relationship with women she knew cared for her and would take care of her. They would indulge her. She also believed this to be her last relationship. So if not with them, then with who?
"I'm blaming you when they laugh at me for doing dumb high school shit," Alex said.
Vasquez held up her hands. "Not my fault. You have to blame Kara for that."
"You know what, I might." It would give her something to tease Kara with… provided Kara did not take it seriously. She would have to test it out. She did not want to hurt Kara or have her worry. "So, you're not like that with Lucy or she like that with you?" Alex finished off her first taco and went in for her second. She might need another order. Oh, yeah, my rut is imminent.
Vasquez shrugged. "It's different. It's not something that needs to be stated. Besides, Lucy knows I'm not about to fight an alpha for being around her before her heat."
"She'd probably like you to, though."
Vasquez laughed. "I bet she would. It's funny. One of the reasons she's with me is because I don't do dumb alpha stuff, but that makes her want to see me do dumb alpha stuff on occasion. I think it'd amuse her more than anything else."
"She loves you for you, but wants you to shake things up a bit every now and then."
Vasquez shrugged. "That's every relationship in a nutshell. You have to keep things fresh, especially once you're settled. You're aware of that. Or you'll learn that." She bit into her second taco and took a sip of her smoothie.
Alex nodded. She had a lot to learn despite having been in a long-term relationship. She and Maggie had never really hit that point where the routine needed shaking up. Hell, everything was a shake-up for her with Maggie considering she had only just figured out she was attracted to women. But, she would keep this in mind.
"I'll make sure to get you the minutes for the safety meeting if you don't make it in tomorrow," Vasquez said.
Alex nodded. "Thanks. I forgot all about that, but I'm sure it'll be fine. Devin's come back into her own since giving up on being a jackass."
"I said the same to her."
Alex chuckled. "I'm sure she was happy to hear that. But, we work better when we get along." She finished off her final taco. She glanced at the counter, tempted to order another meal. But, maybe downing the rest of her smoothie might be enough to hold her until dinner. Her rut always made her hungry.
"And that's always more important than anyone's ego. We've tightened things up since then. How are things going in the lab? Beat respect into them yet?" From the way her eyes twinkled, this question was a tease.
Alex scoffed. "That'll never happen. Because, in order to focus properly, I need a babysitter, first Lena and now Fatinah. So, they're crediting my babysitter with the work rather than me. Not that I care." The science was the important thing. One day, she needed to pull herself together, though, so she could do her work without needing someone invested in her brain making sure she did what she was capable of doing.
"Is Fatinah really helping you focus?"
"Threatening me with beatings and everything. She really believes in my brain, so she's committed to making sure I do something with it."
Vasquez sighed, pushing her empty cup away, and pressed her back against her chair. "I never knew your attention span was this shot to hell."
Alex sucked her teeth. "It wasn't always. I had more structure at the DEO to help keep me on track. I knew it'd take me a long time to adjust. I've seen my life untethered before." This was nowhere near as bad as it could have been, but she still needed to get her act together.
"I can't even imagine."
Alex laughed. "You wouldn't even believe it. I've come a long way."
"That I can believe. After all, I wouldn't believe you're so willing to help me with Lucy after everything she put you through."
Alex waved that off and slurped up the last of her smoothie. "Don't tell her I said this, but she's a good person. I know she's trying to do the right thing. I understand that. It doesn't hurt that she makes you happy. That goes a long way with me nowadays."
"I get it. That's how I feel about Lena."
Alex blinked. "I never considered how you might feel about Lena, even when setting you up to work here."
Vasquez gave a shrug. "I didn't really have an opinion about her in the beginning. A little worried with the number of civilians we were letting in the DEO and definitely worried when she was trying to mind control humanity, but she's doing her best to do good and succeeding most of the time. She's saved the day way more times than she needed to. It helped that Kara vouched for her."
Alex smiled. "You don't have to sell her to me any more than I had to sell Lucy to you. I can't believe you're going to ask her to marry you."
"I only hope she says yes."
"Of course, she will! She loves you, Vas."
Vasquez sighed. "Sometimes, that's not enough."
That was the truth. Alex had truly loved Maggie, but it was not enough to sustain them as a couple. "She wants to build a life with you."
"We can do that without being married. I don't think anyone really understands how hurt she was after she and James split. She understood the breakdown and everything, but it still hurt."
Alex nodded. "I get it." There might always be a Maggie-shaped hole in her heart, even though they parted on amicable terms, and even though she had two women who loved her now.
Vasquez made a noise. "I'm sorry."
Alex waved that off. "Don't be."
"Maybe that's why you don't think about marrying Lena."
Alex groaned, hunching over for a moment, putting her head in her hands. "Why would you do that? We both know I don't need any more psychological issues to unpack."
A smile worked its way onto Vasquez's face, as if she was holding back a laugh. "I'm sorry. You don't have to unpack it yet. You have more urgent things to worry about with your rut right around the corner."
"Yeah, I'm sure it'll be fine. I never saw myself as the marrying type anyway. I think with Maggie because I saw myself building a life with her, I proposed because that's what you do. It's still hard for me to distinguish what I want to do versus what I'm expected to do. This relationship is very clearly something I want to do and I don't feel social expectations weighing down on me. I mean, don't get me wrong, I loved Maggie with every fiber of my being and the love was so massive, but I think we would've survived not getting married."
She was not sure they would have survived not having children. She wanted to build a family with Maggie, raise mini-versions of themselves to take on society and shake up the world. She had craved this vast "everything" with Maggie. It was possible that would have been the thing to tear them apart. She might have placed expectations on Maggie that were impossible to live up to.
"Having never had the urge to ask someone until now, I can't imagine what happens when it doesn't work out," Vasquez said.
"And you never will. Lucy will say yes. You've talked about it a bunch, right?"
"Yeah, this isn't something I can spring on her. That's a good way to have a drink thrown in my face," Vasquez replied. While Lucy had probably thrown plenty of drinks in faces, she most certainly would never do it to Vasquez, no matter how uncomfortable Vasquez might make her. She would know Vasquez did not mean any harm, even if she had caused it.
"She wouldn't stay with you for years if she had any doubts. You're it for Major Short Stuff."
Vasquez rolled her eyes. "You two are going to have to learn to play nice."
"Never. I refuse."
"She'd more than likely say the same thing and then make a comment that makes you blush."
Alex chuckled. "Probably."
Lunch wrapped up and they went back to work. Despite considering leaving early, Alex pushed through. It would not matter if she left early, anyway. Her bond mate and her girlfriend still had work, so might as well push through. It helped that she was left alone in her lab for the afternoon.
-8-8-8-8-
Kara rushed home, wanting to arrive before Alex to make sure everything was in place. Flowers had been delivered. Alex never got flowers. Yes, it might be weird to have them for her rut, but she deserved them.
Along with flowers, she had rose petals scattered throughout the penthouse. Alex's rut probably would not arrive until tomorrow, so Alex would have time to appreciate the flowers. Once she was in her rut, romantic gestures would be secondary to her knot.
And while Kara still did not quite understand this alpha and omega business, she always wanted Alex to be comfortable during her rut. She did not want Alex to worry about anything when she was already itching with hormones. But, part of her feared, she failed. Listening to how Alex doubted herself in so many areas of life, areas Kara should have boosted her up in, hurt. She had failed her bond mate in so many ways way too often. She had to do better.
Hence why she took control of making Alex feel special before her rut. It was in the planning she realized she had never done anything like this for Alex before. She could have at least purchased her bond mate flowers, as was the custom of this place.
On Krypton, gifts tended to be useful things, certainly not objects already dying. But, Krypton was also not known for appreciating aesthetics. While Kara was certain she took in the beauty of things better than most Kryptonians, she had nothing on her bond mates.
Shaking those thoughts away, she checked to see if the balloons made it. They were in the living room with special nesting pillows and blankets. They were supposed to be great for ruts and heats. She was not sure how, but anything to make Alex comfortable was a win.
She put on a virtual fire on the television, even though the penthouse had an actual fireplace. They never used it, as none of them wanted to deal with the smell. Not to mention, none of them knew how to create a fire in the conventional way and for whatever reason did not want to admit it to each other after the initial confessions.
The first round of food arrived. This was not the restaurant she had been on the phone with earlier. Those guys would lose her business, which meant losing Lena Luthor's and Cat Grant's business, if they messed up tomorrow. These other folks were one of Alex's favorite places. Alex liked to pretend it was nothing special, but often found herself there when on her own.
Burgers, which most people would not consider particularly special. They were not fat, thick burgers. They were simple, precut patties on buns thicker than the meat. But, they were seasoned a specific way, cooked to perfection, and had a special sauce that Kara drank once because it was so good. Lena would more than likely scold them over the amount of meat and salt they were about to consume, but ah well. This was Alex's thing.
Kara set the burgers up on a platter with boxes of fries and onion rings around them. Additional toppings were off to the side. Milkshakes went in the fridge until her bond mates were home.
Kara barely had time to work on the mood lighting, going with little electric candles before the door opened. Alex and Lena stepped in. Kara's nose twitched. Uh-oh.
"Hey, what's all this?" Alex asked, looking around. She seemed to ignore how close Lena was pressed to her.
"It was supposed to be your pre-rut romantic evening, but if you don't go into full rut tonight, I'd be shocked," Kara answered. She hoped Alex could still appreciate the atmosphere and food, but there was no way her rut would not arrive by the end of the night.
Alex scoffed. "That's your bond mate's fault." She jabbed her thumb in Lena's direction.
Lena blushed. "How is it my fault? I'm just seeing you for the first time since this morning."
"And this morning you didn't smell like this," Kara pointed out. How Lena did not have her nose plastered against Alex's neck spoke of her self-control. Kara wanted to pepper kisses all over Alex from the scent.
Alex snorted. "Well, your bond mate got all possessive of me and used the phrase 'my alpha.' Apparently, that's all I need to get going."
Lena gasped as she put down her briefcase. "Really? That's it? Surely someone's said that to you before and you laughed it off."
Alex shook her head. "Nope. Never."
Lena sputtered. "But…" Her eyes drifted to Kara. "Okay, not high school. You and Kara were practically bonded then. Not college?"
Alex shook her head again. "No. I only did hookups in college."
Kara was confused. "Was I supposed to do something back in high school?"
"No," Lena said.
"It's utter nonsense from romance movies. You know how romance movies show alpha and omega couples. They're always touching and sniffing and crying about their omega or their alpha," Alex explained.
"Because we see that as kids, you try that when you present and tangle yourself up in your first love. Unless you date a beta or in Alex's case a Kryptonian," Lena added.
Kara nodded, as she had seen that behavior in many movies. "Alex, I asked you if that's how Earth romances are. You said no."
"Because they're not. That's fantasy, but as kids, most don't know any better and only do it because you're so in love," Alex replied.
"But, you liked it when Lena did it," Kara argued. She could have, would have done that if she knew it was something Alex desired.
"It's not important," Alex stated.
"The hell it's not. Kink unlocked," Lena stated with a laugh.
Kara's brow wrinkled. "Is that something you want, Alex?"
Alex sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. "Um… I think I do. I mean, you smell me." She shrugged.
Something was up, though. "Should I have been doing that?"
Alex glanced away. "I'm aware you're possessive of me and how you feel."
Lena made a noise. "It's because it was me?"
Alex's shoulders dropped. "No omega ever said that about me. Not even Maggie. You're the first, the only one."
Lena nodded. "Okay, so you want me to call you my alpha?"
Alex locked eyes with Lena. "Yes."
"But not me?" Kara asked.
Alex shrugged. "It doesn't have the same weight. You're not an enamored omega."
Kara frowned. "So…"
Alex went over to Kara and held her hand. "Listen to me, you have always been my bond mate. I have never needed the 'my alpha' stuff from you. I've only needed you."
Kara sniffled. "I feel like you missed out on so much stuff taking care of me and I… I just never did the same with you. Like this is my first big romantic gesture to you and I needed Lena to help me pull it off." She motioned around the common area.
Alex made a show of looking around, but did not leave Kara's side. "Thank you for this, but I've never needed big romantic gestures from you. You picked me out of everyone on Earth to be your bond mate. There is no bigger romantic gesture. You could have literally picked anyone on this planet or not and you picked me."
Kara rubbed her eyes, trying to keep tears at bay. "How could I not? You do everything for me." How was it possible to not fall for Alex with the way Alex treated her once they got used to each other? Alex treated her as if she was the best thing to ever happen. Yes, she was ordered to take care of Kara by her parents, but she had gone above and beyond.
"Because I enjoy it and you deserve it." Alex kissed her so softly, it was impossible to stop the tears. Alex cooed at her and wiped away the tears with her thumb. "Kara, I love you for you, not any grand gesture. It's not an alpha-omega thing. I love you. You are my bond mate and that is a grand gesture."
Kara tried to stop crying. "I really don't deserve you. Either of you." Her eyes went to Lena, who forgave her for her horrible crimes and adored her despite her being awful.
Alex ran her hand through Kara's hair. "How about we want you, so that's why you deserve us."
Lena rushed over, hugging them both. "We all know we have moments like this. We all want each other. We all want to be together. That's enough."
Kara nodded. She would tell them the same thing when they were like this. They chose her as much as she chose them. They wanted her as she wanted them. But, by Rao, she did not deserve them.
"We love you, Kara," Alex stated as if it was beyond a fact. "No matter what happens. We love you. We're all flawed, but we're here for each other."
Kara nodded again and managed to dry her tears now. "Sorry to get so down during what we wanted to be a fun time."
Alex kissed her. "You're allowed, Stitch."
Kara took a deep breath. "So, does this mean I can tell Lena 'her alpha' did something like you do when you call her my bond mate?"
Alex turned to Lena, who smiled. Her eyes twinkled, like she was amused. "I'm fine with that, as long as I get the same treatment."
Alex blinked. "You want to be my omega?"
"Oh, sweetheart, I already am," Lena purred.
Alex's pheromones burst through the air. Alex groaned and ducked her head. She could not believe she just did that. Kara laughed and squeezed her.
"Don't be embarrassed," Kara said.
"I'm not, but I'm not used to being out of control like this," Alex replied.
"I know. But, you know what will make things better? Showering, diving into junk food, and cuddling on the couch that will definitely lead to more," Kara said with a smile.
"That sounds nice and, yeah, more is coming," Alex agreed. She more than likely had less than an hour before her full rut set in. Amazing what a simple phrase from Lena had the power to do and, yet, they did not want to admit to being mates. Kara did not get it.
-8-8-8-8-
Next time: Alex's rut begins.