Author's Note

(I know. This is unusual for me to have an Author's Note at the beginning of the chapter, but I felt like the following should be said upfront instead of at the end of the chapter.)

Many of the forms and bending moves in the TV series reminded me of Tai Chi forms. This inspired me to research and dig into Tai Chi forms and use them in describing the firebending forms Zuko is teaching Aang. When I was at undergrad, I took a Tai Chi class. The particular form I learned was Beijing 24 form (or Peking 24 form). This is a shorter version of the longer Yang style. The Beijing 24 form is the form I use for this story. If anyone is interested is seeing the 24 postures, here is a link: /tai-chi-24-form-moves-chinese-pinyin-english/.

Disclaimer: As with the Ding meditation technique, this is a fictional interpretation of the Beijing 24 form. I have modified/adjusted some of the moves in this chapter and following chapters to meet the needs of the story. I did my best to research and be as accurate as possible when depicting and describing cultures that are not my own. If anyone feels like I'm overstepping or misrepresenting their culture, please let me know and I'll update this chapter and following chapters without the use of the Beijing 24 form.

"One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things." —Henry Miller

/

"Firebending power stems from the unflinching will to accomplish one's goals," I begin today's lesson after several minutes of breathing exercises.

Aang is fidgeting, either from nerves or excitement I can't entirely tell.

Katara is now joined by Sokka and Toph. I'm not pleased with the audience, but I'm pretty sure they won't listen if I tell them to shove off. I don't know where Haru, Teo, and the Duke are at. They're probably off exploring and/or avoiding me. Probably more likely avoiding me than anything else.

"You must have a strong drive to produce a strong flame." I settle into the qĭshì stance, shifting my weight on the balls of my feet until I thrust forward into the zuoyou lōuxī àobù. I sense, rather than see, Katara tense. I purposely produce no flames, even knowing they'd be puny and weak and useless. It pains my dignity to no end that my firebending is so weak, but I caused this. No one else did.

Aang doesn't miss Katara replacing the water she had bended out of her flask back in. He scowls at her before turning back to me.

I give him a half smile. "Now, show me what you've got. Any amount of fire you can make. It doesn't matter if it's not strong yet. That'll come later."

Aang shifts from foot to foot. "What if—"

"You won't," I say firmly. "Trust yourself. Believe in what you're capable of. You can do this."

Aang nods, taking a slow, deep breath.

Good. He's learning.

Aang copies my movements, flowing seamlessly from the qĭshì to the zuoyou lōuxī àobù. All he produces is a puff of smoke.

Aang's shoulder's slump as a snicker comes from our audience.

I glare fiercely at Sokka, Toph, and Katara until they all look reasonably chastised.

"Sorry," Aang mumbles. "That sucked."

"No." I'm annoyed with the others for making Aang feel incompetent. "That was an excellent first try."

"It was?"

"It was."

At last that smile of his breaks through his gloom.

I can't help but grin like a fool. I did that! I got Aang to smile! I can't even remember the last time I got someone to smile like that!

"Now try again."

/

We spend the next hour or so going over several firebending forms. Still, all Aang is able to produce is copious amounts of smoke.

Everyone but Katara has wandered off at some point but, around lunch time, when Aang has slumped to the ground in defeat, Sokka and Toph come back with food. Aang's eyes immediately brighten and he eagerly digs into the meal of bread, cheese, and fruit. The four of them settle down to eat, leaving me wondering if I should join them or ask Toph to lock me back in my room.

"Come on," Sokka tugs me down, shoving a plate of food into my hands. "Eat."

I stare first at him, then the food, then back up at him.

"What?" Sokka gripes. "If you're going to be one of us, you might as well eat with us."

Katara looks like she just choked on a piece of bread but doesn't say anything.

Aang smiles encouragingly at me.

And Toph? She punches me in the shoulder. Hard.

"Ow!" I rub my arm. "What was that for?!"

"Eat," she commands.

Fine then. I dig in just to be sure she doesn't punch me again.

"Food!" comes a sudden shout, and then Haru, Teo, and the Duke are settling down as well. "Excellent." Teo eagerly fills his plate with food. "I'm starving!"

Haru eyes me suspiciously but says nothing about my presence. He pointedly ignores me as he dishes up.

To my surprise, the Duke plops down between me and Toph, oblivious to the glare Haru is giving him.

Okay. My mind just might explode. Why have I been invited to eat lunch with them?!

"So," Toph says after a long stretch of awkward silence. "Why's Aang only producing smoke?"

"Yeah," Katara growls. "Some teacher you are."

"Hey," Aang protests. "Lay off him!"

I'm touched by Aang jumping to my defense, but I don't deserve him defending me. Or Sokka extending an olive branch by inviting me to eat with them.

"It's okay," I interrupt Aang and Katara before they can go at each other again.

"Ugh," Sokka mutters under his breath. "This is getting so annoying!"

"Aang just needs to find his source, his drive to draw on for his firebending."

"Which is…what exactly?" Haru demands, eyeing me like I'm purposely keeping Aang from finding his drive.

I shrug despite the sting of Haru's obvious rejection of my presence here. "It's different for everyone. Only Aang will know what his is."

Aang doesn't look too thrilled by my answer.

"So what's yours?" Teo asks, genuine curiosity in the question.

"Betraying everyone and hunting down Aang?" Katara says darkly.

I wince. "It was. But not anymore."

Katara scoffs. "Yeah right."

"What about drawing on the original source?" Toph asks, bending a wall of stone between Aang and Katara.

Sokka gives his sister a be nice look while Aang folds his arms grumpily. "How's he supposed to do that? By jumping into a volcano?"

The Duke snorts and Toph gives him a you're an idiot look. "No. What's the original source of firebending?"

"So, is it jumping into a volcano?" Teo asks dubiously

I'm clutching the plate of food so hard my hands ache. "The original firebenders were the dragons. They're extinct."

There's a beat of stunned silence before Aang asks, "What do you mean? Roku had a dragon, and there were plenty of dragons when I was a kid."

I feel like I'm on the verge of screaming. Just one more irrevocable damage my family has done. "They're gone Aang."

"I wonder why," Haru snorts sarcastically.

Teo elbows Haru hard in the ribs.

"Ow!" Haru complains, rubbing the spot and glaring at Teo.

Teo glares right back until Haru looks cowed and can't meet Teo's eyes anymore.

The look of disappointment on Aang's face feels like a knife to the chest. I find myself suggesting something that'll probably immediately get shot down. But it's the only card I have to offer. I can't magically bring the dragons back no matter how much I wish I could. "There may be another way."

Aang immediately perks up at this. The others lean in as if holding their breath.

"The first people to learn from the dragons were the ancient Sun Warriors."

"Sun Warrior? I don't remember them being around when I was a kid."

The statement is laughable at best. Aang is still a kid even if he's over a hundred years old.

"No," I say sadly. "They died off thousands of years ago. But their civilization wasn't too far from where we are now." I close my eyes briefly, mentally preparing myself for the inevitable uproar. "Maybe we can learn something by poking around the ruins." If not for myself, then at least for Aang.

"What?!" Katara and Haru exclaim together.

Katara has dropped her plate of food onto the ground with a loud clatter. "Absolutely not!"

I flinch at the ferocity in her words. "Look. I don't have to go. Lock me in my room and you guys can go." Perhaps it's my destiny to never get the full power of my firebending back. It would certainly be a just punishment for all the wrong I've done.

"No," Aang says firmly. "If I'm going, Zuko is too. He's my firebending teacher."

"Aang," I try to say. "That's not—"

He cuts me off with such a blazing look I find my mouth clamping shut of its own accord.

"It could actually be a good idea," Teo tries to venture but Katara cuts right over him, "This could be his ploy to finally capture you, Aang. Or worse, kill you."

"It's not," Toph and I say together.

"Jinx!" Toph holds out her first until I awkwardly give her a fist bump.

Katara blinks in annoyance at Toph, completely ignoring what was just said.

"I think it's a good idea," the Duke suddenly pipes up.

I stare at him openmouthed. Did he actually just say that or did I imagine it?

"Aang and I don't have to go alone," I try to reason. "You all could come too."

"Oh, no." Sokka stands up, holding up his hands. "I'm not getting into the middle of this."

"Sokka!" Katara calls after her brother's retreating form but he doesn't turn back around. She shoots a venomous glare in my direction. "We don't know if this will even work. Plus it's too dangerous right now with practically everyone in the Fire Nation looking for us!"

"But—"

"No," Katara cuts Aang off. "This isn't up for debate!"

Aang just stares at her, openmouthed.

"Katara's right Aang," Haru says. "This isn't a good idea."

"Seriously?" Teo spins around and wheels away from a flabbergasted looking Haru.

The Duke gets up too, glaring at both Katara and Haru before marching off after Teo.

My heart sinks. I'd been a fool to get my hopes up. I want to go. I want to find my new drive. But, like everything in my life, I'm left with nothing. I feel surprisingly okay about it this time. I've had to struggle for everything. Why not this too?

But I also want to go for Aang too. Now, I'll have to figure out how to help him find his drive when I have absolutely no idea how to even find my own.

"Toph," Katara snaps. "Make sure Zuko's locked in his room. Firebending training is done for the day." She leaves no room for arguing, stalking away with her fists clenched.

Haru startles out of the daze he'd been in since Teo and the Duke left at Katara's sudden departure. He looks at Aang's crestfallen face and then at me. He opens his mouth as if to say something, but then changes his mind. "Sorry, Aang," he finally mumbles before grabbing the discarded food and walking away.

The three of us sit in stunned silence.

"Well." Toph shakes herself. "Shall we?" She offers a hand to help me up.

I take it this time, my limbs trembly.

"Hey." Aang's on his feet too. "I'm going to make this right."

I smile sadly at him. "We'll find another way Aang. Some things are just not meant to be."