Nolan had felt a great sense of satisfaction watching the once-leader of the Institute of Perfection receive his due comeuppance.
After all the thousands of times he'd sent thousands of fellow dolls through the rigorous punishment of that washing machine, it had only seemed fitting that Lou be given the same treatment once his true manipulative nature had been revealed. It had been a stroke of ironic genius on Nolan's part to suggest it, he would say, particularly after being singled out and having his emotions toyed with more than any other doll in the batch he'd been born into.
No one else had been given quite so long a list of flaws to work on, nor had anyone else been so graciously donned with a giant sign around their neck proclaiming them "Ugly!" Yet as well no one had had so many instances of Lou singling them out for motivational speeches, or saying he loved them...before tacking on that he loved all of them in his training course, but still, there had been that brief second where Lou had undoubtedly suggested a personal favoritism in front of everyone, and it had made Nolan feel very special. Even the girl rabidly obsessed with Lou, Tuesday, could not get the gorgeous blonde to so much as look at her, and here Nolan had earned a love confirmation simply by asking for clarification on Lou's musical number during initiation.
Needless to say, the mixed bombardment of sweet talk and insults had had a tug of war with Nolan's emotions, but The Gauntlet finally tipped the scale when Lou quite instantly declared Nolan as good as dead when he was snagged by the robot dog portion of the test, even acting as though he couldn't feel Nolan's hand grabbing his face in a desperate plea for assistance.
Yes, that had tipped Nolan's feelings rather sharply towards bitterness, betrayal, and even a sting of disappointment he wasn't sure should be as large as it was. As such, watching that flawless blonde hair get rinsed of its perfectly styled swoop, and that crisp, sleek, form-fitting black suit get rumpled by endless circles of rushing water torrents was immensely cathartic. While the other dolls pieced the portal to the Big World back together, Nolan had supervised Lou's punishment.
Even after the ex-leader had stumbled his way dizzy out of that oversized washing machine, the brown-haired boy had watched as Lou was now the one responsible for cleaning up The Gauntlet, sweeping up the mess from the vacuum that had exploded after he'd sacrificed Tuesday and resetting the entire human-house-sized obstacle course.
It had been wildly satisfying...until suddenly it wasn't.
Nolan had been about to head over to the restored portal to check it out, mechanic bots now having restructured it properly compared to the slapdash job of the dolls simply piecing it together like puzzle pieces, and maybe even consider giving the Big World a peek, when his attention was caught.
Looking down, he quirked a brow at himself and wondered aloud, "Why am I even still wearing this?"
Throughout everything since his arrival, he'd been wearing that stupid "Ugly!" sign...somehow he just kept forgetting it was there.
He was about to finally take it off when something else snagged his attention: crying.
It was faint, but definitely there. Sniffling and the most quiet of choked sobs, like they were trying very hard to keep themselves stifled. They were coming from around the corner of The Gauntlet, on the wall where the back door would be.
All at once the pit dropped out of Nolan's stomach in a wave of icy guilt. Instinctually, he had an inkling as to who the source could be, and even if he knew he probably shouldn't feel guilty, he did. He felt mean, no better than Lou, and sharp sense of natural compassion. He felt his legs move.
Rounding that corner confirmed the guess. There Lou was, sitting heavily on the fake back steps of the fake house, gingerly hovering his fingertips at the ends of his now heavily-tousled blonde locks, almost like he was afraid touching them would ruin them further but also clearly wanting to fix them. His hand mirror was held in front of him, which he glared at in an equally imbalanced blend of anger and devastation, trying to regain some semblance of composure.
Nolan felt worse. Lou might have been a jerk, but he didn't deserve...that. That looked meek, afraid and uncertain. That looked like he was at a total loss. It was so wrong to see on a doll who had been nothing but the most self-assured, confident and sharp-tongued a doll could be, laughing when his plans went awry and always having a back-up ready to go. Who knew he even had such vulnerable feelings under all that cocky projection?
"Lou..?"
The timid utterance of his name caused Lou to jump a foot in the air, tense sharply and send his wide, tear-stained eyes snapping for the one who had uttered it. He'd thought everyone had finally gotten their fill of vengefully humiliating him for today, especially the one who'd gotten the ball rolling. He thought he'd been free to let these emotions go.
"Gah-hh!" In a flash, Lou scrambled a thousand times harder to mask his face reddened from crying and how his posture had been slacking. Fumbling and nearly dropping it, he stuffed the mirror back home inside his breast pocket and sat stiffly, hands out on his knees trying to regain that naturally regal air he usually had. He would have fled, but he doubted he would get far after the grueling exercise his punishments had provided. As well he was just too emotionally drained to try.
"What do you want?" he attempted to say in a haughty tone, though the panic was quite evident, "Thought of something else you want me scrub?"
Not having been born yesterday anymore – that day now several weeks behind him – Nolan ignored the posturing and pressed, "Lou, why are you crying?"
"I'm not crying!" Lou insisted, "I'm just...pouting! Because I lost and you make me do all these stupid chores! I'm red because I'm hot! And my eyes...my eyes are sweating!"
Nolan put one hand on his hip and tilted his head, shooting the other an unimpressed expression. All of that was bologna. Even the part about being put to work. Lou had never shown aversion to putting in labor, so it was beyond belief that just that could move him to tears, even if he hadn't done it voluntarily. Lou was not actually that immature.
Lou's gaze faltered, flicking off to a few random spots in the arena surrounding the house as his spine shrank slightly. He sniffed and in less than a second his knuckle had flown to wipe his nose before that hand was back in place on his knee.
Nolan sighed sympathetically. Of course Lou would be defensive. Not only was it in his character, he probably didn't want to open up to the one responsible for kicking off the whole washer thing that had started his sentence. Coming forward, he noted Lou stiffing back up as he joined him on that stoop, having a seat beside him.
"Lou, I..." Reaching to put a hand on the other doll's shoulder, Nolan instead bumped the sign around his neck as he moved his arm and grunted in annoyance, cutting himself off.
The blonde quirked a brow at that sign, gladly taking the opportunity to derail his interrogation and simultaneously ask a legitimate question. "Why are you even still wearing that thing?" It served no real purpose after his musical number, and he'd actually been wondering for a while now. Besides, one would think liberation would lead to discarding things like that first and foremost.
"I have no idea," Nolan admitted, "I was actually just thinking about that. I guess I just keep forgetting about it."
"And here I thought you were some kinda masochist or something," Lou rolled his eyes, "But no, you're just a space case. Well now you're annoying me." Pointedly, he grabbed the sign and yanked it over Nolan's head, then flinging off into obscurity like a toy disc. "There. Now it's gone forever. You're welcome."
Nolan blinked. Then he tutted and couldn't help a small endeared smile. "Thank you. Does that mean you don't think I'm ugly anymore..?" he then teased. Maybe a little humor would warm the other up.
The expression Lou made was very strange. He partially wrinkled his nose, partially widened his eyes and a new wave of blush unrelated to tears appeared as he leaned back on his hands away from the other boy, knees tipping inwards. Next his brow fell into a grumpy furrow as he hunched back over, putting his elbows on his knees and looking away in another pointed gesture.
"What kind of stupid question is that? It doesn't even matter what I think anymore anyway, does it? You all got your way. Ugly is in now. I'm ugly!" His hands came up to clasp his temples in stress, eyes now crushing closed.
Ok, humor had not had the desired effect. Watching the blonde hunch and show some of that pain he'd stumbled in on, however, Nolan did see a start towards what was making Lou so upset. "Huh? Maybe you don't look perfect anymore, but that doesn't make you ugly..! I hardly think one little ride through the washer is going to-"
"Don't you get it?!" Lou burst, "Perfect looks is all I had left!" Suddenly he was facing Nolan, a sharp glare in his eyes, fresh tears brimming. He didn't want to be showing this side of himself, but it had already been on a hair trigger when Nolan had decided to butt in.
Now Nolan was taken aback, leaning back slightly with a surprised blink this time. "Wh-What do you mean..? I thought you were just using your looks to gain power...Ox said-"
"Ox doesn't know anything about my feelings!" Lou interjected again, "And neither do you! Why do you think Ox and I fell apart in the first place?! It's easy to be happy when you're a reject! Once I helped him escape the judgement of this place, all he had to do was set up his own happy little village all the way on the other side of the factory, away from all his troubles, and pretend the Institute didn't exist!"
The other's brow furrowed now, trying to understand. It still sounded vain to him on Lou's part, but he decided to stay quiet, hoping Lou would continue clarifying on his own.
He did. "Ox found more rejects! He kept them blissfully unaware of this place, of the Big World altogether! He got to be happy! Without Ox, I had nothing to keep me happy! The dolls here all passed through in the blink of an eye, and I just had to watch! I'm a prototype, Nolan! You heard that! I can't go to the Big World! Instead, I have to live here, a flawless doll destined to never be loved, created only to train others to leave me! To fulfill dreams I never can!" Lou's face pinched as he registered the hot flowing streams of tears that had begun anew. Well, by this point stopping them was impossible, and Nolan had certainly seen them, so he chose to stubbornly press forward instead. Maybe at least he could finally get someone to realize what they were doing to him.
"Do you have any idea what it's like to watch that every single day of your life?" the blonde challenged, "To have to partake? I would dare you not to get a little bitter." His face hardened at the memories, but it only managed to accentuate the pain of them. "So I cracked down. I made the training harder. I added more and more courses. I had the looks, yes, so I used those as well. Anything to get dolls to stick around just a little longer. Maybe I would finally meet one who'd want to stay here instead, y'know? One like me."
He shook his head. "No. You all leave. I worked so hard. I broadened my horizons, really leaning on the reputation I was building with looks and charm, trying to fill that loveless void with the admiration of crowds of dolls..! It was never enough. It never lasted. Was never real. And somewhere along the line I just got jaded. I wanted love so badly, and yet my bitterness towards the ones that got to leave got so bad that I just began sabotaging you all."
Nolan could feel his own eyes starting to mist a little, hearing the pain in Lou's voice and seeing the weight of the past on his face. It was unthinkable that this much struggle had been hidden in what had appeared to be such a shallow man. Ox had made very light of the situation indeed, glossing over his old friend's part of the story like it had been so black and white. "Lou..."
"You took that away from me!" Lou accused, causing Nolan to flinch. "I loved you, I hated you, just like the rest of them, but you..!" The anger faltered on his face, breaking away to show pure distraught. "You took the one thing I had left to love away...without my looks, what do I have to be proud of anymore? I'm not the doll I used to be...I'm not even a real doll! I've lost everything that ever had any meaning to me, and I'll never get to move on...I'm nothing now..."
Slowly, Lou turned away and settled his forehead into his hands, elbows on his knees again. His shoulders shook clearly as he could no longer hold back the unbridled emptiness and loss he was feeling. Even telling Nolan all of this felt useless. He hadn't wanted to spill it in the first place. Add shame and embarrassment for failing to keep his darkest secrets onto the pile of overwhelming emotions.
Nolan's face was displaying a certain amount of loss as well. He very thoroughly understood why cracking a quick joke or just telling Lou to buck up was not going to work, but well...what should he do? That was the problem. This was a level of devastating emotional trauma he had not been prepared for. He could not imagine going through what Lou had been through.
And he felt like the scum of the Earth for suggesting that washer.
For as mean as Lou had been, his reasons were relatable enough to make Nolan wish he'd never spoken up. He wanted to fix it. Surely there was something that could have been different. Surely there was something that could still be done. Some way to actually help Lou instead of just punishing him for the parts he'd gotten wrong. He'd never had anyone helping him after Ox could no longer take this prissy society, couldn't get anyone, so mistakes had been made.
So maybe...Nolan could try?
If Lou would take him, that was.
Cautiously, the brown-haired boy scooted closer and leaned over, wrapping his arms snugly around Lou's slouching back and resting his head in the crook of Lou's neck. "I'm sorry, Lou," he hushed, "I had no idea. I'm so sorry."
The sobbing doll had very little reaction to being hugged initially, feeling the burn of his own emotions too strongly to feel much of anything for any gesture of comfort. But his cries did hitch at the apology. At first he wasn't even sure he'd heard it right, but then Nolan kept saying it, repeating it over and over.
That was enough to catch Lou's attention. He blinked, carefully looking up halfway from his hands. It was uncertain, almost like he didn't know how to trust such words. He'd bared his soul almost on total accident, hoped that doing so would make someone finally see his side for once...and it had worked? Being truthful had really worked?
Gradually, Lou's sobs quieted down to sniffling as he stared at the boy nestled against him, eyes closed and brow furrowed in sincerity. He felt the tear flow stemming once more, but now not knowing what to feel at all. Was this hug...nice? He couldn't tell. But he was grateful, he thought. Yeah. Grateful was the word. Even if Nolan had provided the final life-ruining straw that had broken him.
Sensing Lou finally calming down, as the tremors stopped at least, Nolan added one last piece to his apology. "I'd just wanted you to see what it felt like, rejection, but that's actually the feeling that made you act like that in the first place. I feel awful. I...I can't imagine your struggle, but I get it. I understand. And I want to help."
His eyes opened to find Lou's as he retreated, puffy and puzzled looking back at him. The blonde questioned, "What is there to be done for me? I told you, I'm nothing. I'm beyond ugly. I'm worthless."
"Oh, come on, where's the Lou we all know and love?" Nolan pressed, but upon seeing the unimpressed face of the overthrown leader, changed tactics. "Fair enough. Once loved. You can still be confident without being a jerk, though. I want to see that old you you were talking about back there. The one that could still be happy. We can start with those looks. It's not all that bad, you know, and just so happens I'm a tailor...slash model."
Every doll in their line was assigned a name and career upon arrival, and every single one was a part-time model for some reason. But in this case the main career would actually come in handy.
Lou's attention was caught again, unable to believe what he was hearing. "You can fix my suit..?" he questioned, the faintest hint of hope creeping into the edge of his voice.
"Better than that," Nolan encouraged, "I also happen to know a hairdresser slash model or two. I've even picked up some tricks about doll hair myself during my time here."
This seemed to inspire a bit of life behind Lou's eyes. Turning to face Nolan fully, he picked the other boy's hands up between his in a pleading manner. "And you could get them to help me..?"
Glad to see the immediate allure of getting his appearance back having an effect, the brunette decided to go further with the idea behind his proposition. "I don't see why not! I think we could even get the other dolls back on your side. I can help you talk to them. I can help you get your side out there. I can understand how you could end up bottling bitterness and envy like that, but if you come clean and be honest – in a real way, I'm sure a lot of dolls will forgive you too. Like me."
Turning back to face forward, Lou took his hands back to himself and clasped them against his chest now. His eyes darted in more uncertainty. "I...I don't know. I don't want to...pout eye sweat...in front of everyone." He imagined a scene like this in front of all the dolls by what Nolan was saying. It sounded terrifying to confront them all and like it would make him look incredibly weak. But then his eyes slid back towards the boy sitting next to him. "But wait. You forgive me? Like, actually?" He'd been very mean to this one. Almost the meanest.
"Sure. Do you forgive me?"
Lou stared as Nolan offered him that soft, encouraging smile, having to process what was actually being asked of him. He'd never had to forgive anyone. He'd never thought about it. He'd just grown bitter and jaded. To forgive anyone was to break his entire mindset and practically agree to changing himself. Though...if he was honest himself...he kind of did want to change. He still wanted love deep down at heart. He'd wanted someone to understand. Nolan had, and he was actually grateful that the brunette was listening. Even if he did run Lou through the washer, even if he did leave in the end, here he was listening and trying to make things better. No one had ever offered to help Lou in any meaningful way since Ox.
Naturally that made the blonde suddenly consider that Nolan might up and abandon him when things got tough, but quickly he wrestled with those feelings and decided that trying to reclaim what he'd been missing all these years was worth it. It was what he really wanted.
Nolan had been worried Lou was just going to keep staring at him until he left, but then the other doll spoke up, in a meek but steadier voice than he'd been managing. "You know..? I think I can." Nolan had taken everything from him, but if he could be redeemed, then maybe there was hope for Lou, too. Lou had been stealing dreams for a long time now, so he could relate to an unwitting mistake doing the same.
The other boy's smile widened. "That's great to hear. Thank you. And y'know, you don't have to cry – er, sweat – in front of anyone. You've seen the UglyDolls. A lot of them are really into being nice. Especially the pink one. I'm sure if you're just upfront about it and ask for help with your problem, you can get them to help you. Institute dolls are sure to follow if we're all friends now. Who knows? We might even find a way to get you into the Big World."
Lou's eyes swept the other up and down, face expressing surprise and doubt hearing that wild claim, but he saw no bluff in Nolan's words. The freckled one actually believed there was potential for Lou's dream.
Nolan nodded. "You're not horrible. And you're resourceful. I'm sure you can turn things around. I want to help, too. Maybe we can even make things better with Ox. Wouldn't it be nice to have your best friend again? Your brother?"
Lou's eyes shifted again. It sounded nice and all, but that was too much to think about right now. No way the UglyDolls' leader would simply forgive him as quickly as Nolan. They had a lot more history. But there was something else the blonde wanted to question anyway. "How exactly do you plan to help? You keep saying 'we'...you're planning on staying here more than just helping me get cleaned up..?" That's what it sounded like.
Now Nolan's eyes took a shy dip to the side as he half-shrugged. "Well...sure. I want to see you get better, and I don't want to just leave you to struggle alone again. That's what got you into all this. That wouldn't make sense. I'll stick with you, help you be liked again, take back leadership of the Institute, and make sure you do it right this time."
The other doll's head tilted slightly as he scrutinized this seemingly sudden devotion. "But...why would you do all that? Why would you want to stay with me? Don't you want to go to the Big World with all your friends or whatever?" He gestured vaguely in the direction of the portal that dolls had been swarming around for days now.
Dipping his own head in a wishy-washy kind of way, Nolan replied, "Ehhh, to be honest, I don't think I'm ready for the Big World." Seeing Lou blink he confirmed, "I might have been great enough at the courses to get to The Gauntlet my first week, but well, you're actually right about a lot of hazards out there. I'm actually worried that some other dolls might be rushing through that portal before they're ready too." He sent the direction Lou had gestured a wary glance, not going into full detail to avoid an 'I told you so' .
Tough as Lou might have been on everyone, the Big World was still full of careless, clumsy children who did not always take the best care of their toys. That's why The Gauntlet existed in the first place. To ensure dolls were ready to move on. But hundreds of dolls were now just hopping through onto the Big World without even setting foot in the simulator. Their thrill of overthrowing Lou might have created a rushed lapse in judgement, as many already would end up ruined and some had even been recycled without proper preparation, a reality that was slowly dawning on those whose friends were not returning for visits. It had been Lou's purpose to prepare them, after all, despite his longing for more.
Surely they would realize soon enough that they needed a leader equipped to train them. For as buddy-buddy and integrated as the UglyDolls' method was, their method included no training whatsoever, and this other extreme was starting to prove just as bad. In that case Nolan felt like the best thing to do was to help Lou get back on his feet and be the kind of leader he'd started out as. Meanwhile on the side he could help look for a way to make Lou's dreams happen. His dream was really no different than what the UglyDolls had come here to achieve – finding love and going to the Big World – and they'd mostly succeeded, so all they really had to do was find a way past Lou's factory settings. It had to be possible.
Giving another encouraging smile to the fallen leader beside him, Nolan nodded once. "Yeah. I don't think I'd mind staying here. It's a nice place. And really, I've never hated you. You're harsh, you're hot-and-cold confusing, and you can definitely be extreme..." He nodded some more, smiling off into space before looking back to the man clearly not seeing his point. "But you have to know that intensity is part of what makes you so alluring."
"Oh. Well...naturally!" Lou's back straightened some more and he let the backs of his knuckles grace his perfectly-molded cheek, projecting just a touch of his old aura. "Wait. Alluring? You say that like you're still into me. Are you one of my fanboys? Is that why you want to do this? You just want an excuse to be near me, don't you?"
He passed a judgemental look to the other now, leaning in and letting his eyes sweep over the brunette again, doubting his intentions. Nolan just shrank back, embarrassed.
"W-Well...I'm not a fanboy per se..." he said truthfully.
"Uck, good!" Lou rolled his eyes. "If there's one kind of love that gets annoying, it's that kind. Fans. I love the attention of course, but it does get old, particularly when they only seem to communicate through mindless shrieks and fainting." A modest beat where his eyes slid to the side again briefly. "And it never fills the hole." Probably why he got so fed up with it. Fans still had plans to abandon him, no matter how much they declared their love. They still left and were nothing like the real relationships Lou longed for.
Straightening back up and putting resolve back on his face, the blonde declared, "I still want them back of course! It's the only kind of love I can get! I just mean I don't want one of those airhead types running my empire with me! Or, well..." He passed another sweep of his gaze over Nolan, trying to asses. "Is that what you're saying..?"
Nolan let an involuntary tut escape. Lou's not seeming to know how to handle kindness was endearing to the brunette, but Nolan was also unsure if he'd meant something that grand himself. He might as well have with his suggestion.
"I do want to help you," he confirmed, "If you want me to help that closely, I wouldn't mind that either. Like I said, I don't think I'd be against staying here. I admit I've done my fair share of crushing on you, same as probably everyone..." His eyes averted shyly there for a moment. "And as well I felt betrayed, same as everyone. I'd actually felt very emotionally manipulated and was not liking you very much at all recently. But it's after talking to you here and now that makes me want to stay most of all. I feel like I'm actually learning something about you, and well, I think I like what I'm seeing of the real Lou more than any of that posturing song and dance."
Now Lou's stiffness was out of puzzle as he quirked his brow and leaned back on his hands. Nolan was forgiving him and wanted to help him so in-depth because of this conversation? This moment was what turned things around? This humiliating, raw and genuine conversation that revealed how imperfect Lou really was? Nolan liked Lou's openness, and liked him despite what an absolute broken mess he was?
The blonde supposed that was a point towards Nolan's about talking to others with honesty getting them on his side...but he was also far too busy being aware of a warm glow igniting in his torso. That was more than gratitude. That was...fuzzy? That was such an old feeling...it took a moment to realize that it was fondness. It was a snag of connection. It made Lou blink to register that someone new had just triggered that inside him, someone he'd even been bitter towards, just by saying they appreciated him flaws and all.
"This," he said perplexed, still in disbelief while raising a hand to indicate his horribly mussed hair and bloated face still stained from crying. "You like...this."
It was once again endearing to watch Lou experience the benefits of honesty. After operating so long under a mask, being flawless on the outside but ugly in the worst way inside, of course he couldn't fully process why this was refreshing to Nolan, why baring his flaws made him seem like a real person. It was all what that pink blob UglyDoll had been preaching, but it was likely going to take time for Lou to really get it.
"Well, yeah," Nolan returned, reaching for the hand Lou had up and lowering it with his palm over the back of it. They both landed on the step between them in a show of compassion. "This is who you really are. That's always going to be better than a projection. And I can see this Lou wants to improve himself. We can do that. And meanwhile, I want to get to know this Lou. If you'll let me."
That ancient positive feeling in Lou's chest swelled as he stared at the other, spreading up to his cheeks and making them an all-new shade of red. The light in his chest became a flutter as he became very aware of the gentle hand on his, something he'd never experienced even back when his bond with Ox had been its strongest.
This...did feel like it filled the hole.
Nolan hadn't expected to see that type of expression form, but quickly realized he might have been a little too soft for Lou's liking. The way Lou stared sent a wave of embarrassed wiggly feelings through Nolan's stomach and he quickly moved to let go of the other's hand – Why had he even thought that was a good idea? - but his breath hitched when Lou pushed his own hand forward to hook Nolan's and prevent it from escaping. Nolan's brow went up.
"You'll want to leave, though...right?" Lou's brow had hardened slightly. A desperation was clear behind those eyes. As positive as the surge of strange feeling in his belly was, he was also afraid of it. "As soon as I'm fixed, you won't feel guilty anymore. You'll have helped me and want to go to the Big World. Right?"
Sympathy poured onto Nolan's face. Was Lou actually alright with him wanting to get to know him? Was he also that afraid about trying to reach out again? Nolan needed to do his best to explain without upsetting the man. "I don't know if I'll want to go to the Big World," he said honestly, but seeing Lou's face tighten hurried to go on, "But even if I do, it doesn't effect what I think about you. I won't just run off as soon as I've fixed your suit. I want to be a friend to you. Whether it works or not, whether I go to the Big World or not, I'm also not going to just abandon you. If I did go through the portal, I'd come back so long as you needed me."
He reminded, "I want to help you go through the portal too. If you wanted, I can even promise not to think about trying it until we've found that loophole for you." Nolan was not ready for the Big World at all right now. He was feeling very strongly about assisting Lou to rebuild. But things changed. Maybe he would want to try the portal at some point. However, he also wanted Lou to know that that was ok, and that things would still work out.
Lou's eyes widened hearing that offered promise. Nolan would go so far to assure him of his intentions to cut himself off until Lou was comfortable being separated? That was...really sweet. The blonde felt his cheeks burning brighter and could not comprehend why they kept doing that, nor why as nice as the offer sounded, he felt an edge of guilt at the prospect of insisting on Nolan hold to an arrangement that would trap him here.
Looking down at the hand he'd ensnared while it tried to retreat, he understood forcing such a promise was essentially the same. Lou didn't want to be alone, but he probably shouldn't try to suffocate the first person who came along wanting to help. Besides, Nolan had said he wanted to stay. Anything else was pure speculation for the future. But Lou also didn't want to let go of that hand. He was very touched, and Nolan's persistent kindness was only making that fuzzy bubbly sensation grow. A new urge started giving him an inkling as to what he was experiencing.
"I kind of want to kiss you right now," he stated bluntly, "Is that weird? I feel like it's weird for me."
Now Nolan blushed, shoulders tensing as he hardly expected anything like that to come out of Lou's mouth – the Lou! Had he even heard that right? "I'm sorry, you want to kiss...me..? I-I mean it's kind of sudden, but I guess I can't really tell you what's weird for you or not...although I never thought I'd hear you say you wanted to kiss anyone...much less me..!" He'd crushed on the blonde – everyone crushed on him – but to hear Lou actually say he wanted to kiss someone..! That was even bigger than getting a specialized 'I love you'. What had Nolan ever done to be so special anyway? Besides maybe have the brass tacks to see through Lou's balogna and wish he'd be a real person.
"Me neither," Lou agreed. Why, after being so nasty, then harshly punished, then having all of his secrets dragged out of him while looking so hideous, did he want to kiss the boy who had done most of it to him? He should hate this boy for putting him through so much misery...and he had just a good few minutes ago. But all this genuine emotion stuff and earnest kindness was like some kind of voodoo. Maybe it was because Nolan was showing him this sweetness despite all of that. He really did like seeing Lou for Lou. No one at the Institute had ever done that. At least not done so and liked it. Just recently having his true nature revealed had made the other dolls revile him.
"So we gonna?"
The question snapped Nolan out of his flushed daze. He became overly aware of the way Lou was still holding his hand and his free one came to form a timid fist at his collar. "Y-You're serious?" he gulped.
"Yeah. Hm. Yeah, you know what? Here's your way to prove you mean it. If you can kiss this..." Lou indicated his unflattering appearance again. "There's our contract. I'll believe you."
"Oh gosh. But that's so embarrassing..!" Such a sudden and intimate test of honesty! Lou knew Nolan had been attracted to him, so if Nolan declined because he was flustered, would Lou just take that as proof that Nolan hadn't actually started liking him again? Or did Lou just want to make Nolan kiss him because he couldn't process liking a flawed doll or something?
A new thought crashed into Nolan's mind. "And wait. What about me..? You really don't think I'm ugly..?"
So far as he'd been told, Nolan had countless flaws, most obviously being features like his heterochromia and the splash of freckles across his face. But then also apparently his neck was long, his head was small, the green highlights in his hair clashed with his skin tone...so many things had been pointed out it was hard to believe none of it had been true thoughts.
Lou actually tutted there. "Let me tell you a secret, babe. I don't think any Model 12 who comes through that gate is ugly. Not ugly-ugly anyway. They're all models for Pete's sake. I obviously...used to be the finest, but the rest of you aren't...hideous."
After a cautious self-conscious touch to his mussy hair he glanced down at the hand he held and then up to Nolan's face. "And you, well, you do make those freckles work for ya. You some kinda test run for those?" His finger circled in the air curiously as he pointed to Nolan's face. No other doll in this line had them. Not to mention the eyes. Either Nolan was one step away from being as much of a factory screw-up as the UglyDolls, or he was the first in some new radical degrees of diversifying the Model 12. Which, interestingly enough, would make Nolan a form of prototype himself. Maybe he really could relate. Maybe he would be the key to getting Lou through the system.
Nolan's face warmed some more, self-conscious about the question but also that he was being told he looked good. "Possibly..? Well I'm...flattered anyway." Bashfully his free hand touched his cheek.
"You should be," Lou returned slightly smug, seemingly unable to lose all of his edge. Harsh as he had been about judging appearance, Nolan easily stood out as striking. "Let me tell you another secret, since you're so freakishly good at pulling them out of me: I'm extra hard on the dolls I hate. And the ones I like." At Nolan's stunned face only managing to saturate more in hue, he nodded. "That's right. Before I hated you, you were one of the interesting ones. And now I don't think I hate you again." Stupid fickle emotions.
Sure that if he blushed any more his face would be in danger of melting, Nolan noticed how Lou had deviated from self-pity into what seemed to be outright flirting. It was like he was trying to convince Nolan to seal this half-formed deal with his lips. Nolan didn't know what to say. Had his willingness to support a man who wanted to change really done this much? Admittedly he felt his old feelings fluttering in his chest to see such a likable and human side to Lou, but he was just...too shy! Who just kissed somebody out of nowhere?!
Seeing Nolan's hesitation, a sliver of doubt entered Lou's face. "What's the matter? You don't like my offer?" he questioned, "I thought you were into me. This mess puts you off after all, huh?" Normally any doll claiming to want him would be clamoring by now to throw themselves at him.
Quick to dispel any further depressive thoughts or doubts telling Lou all he could be was looks, Nolan put up his hand and professed, "No! I'm sorry, I am actually...really turned on right now!" He cringed at himself, not believing he'd just blurted that out, but paved over it to continue, "I can't believe you're even hitting on me! It's not that I don't want to kiss you, either, but it's just...you were emotional, and I'm kind of emotional, and that's not how contracts usually work...I don't want you to regret it, and I mean I was only born a few weeks ago! I've never kissed anybody! It's not that easy..!"
Lou's head tipped slightly, registering that it was out of further wholesomeness that Nolan wasn't instantly stepping up to prove his point. It was sweetly considerate. But as well, Lou had less of an excuse for his own feelings if Nolan wasn't the one initiating. It was easier if he could get Nolan to kiss him, for Lou was still unsure what to make entirely of finding attraction in a man he'd so loudly and adamantly declared ugly. He wanted to probe that new feeling without showing too much commitment right off the bat. He also didn't see a kiss as moving too fast. Unfortunately, it looked like if he wanted a kiss, wanted to cement this establishment with Nolan, he was going to have to bite the bullet and show how much he wanted to keep the other around.
"I agree this inclination is a foreign concept," the blonde proposed. He'd never felt the urge to put his lips on any fellow doll before. "But I'm not so shy. So what if I sealed the deal for us?" Nerves were erupting in his stomach, but years of smooth moves helped keep them at bay. One such move was performed now, Lou taking the hand he held and stretching the brunette's arm to pull him close, letting his eyelids fall slightly as his gaze held steady onto Nolan's. Their knees touched as Lou's other hand fell to light on the other doll's softly. "I'll promise in turn I won't regret it."
Perhaps they were both doing a bit to learn about looking past appearances here. Nolan had seen soul underneath that prim, handsome shell of cold Lou had worn for so long, and Lou had seen past an outer layer of naturally flawed features, into a person who was genuine and kind and had real potential to help him. In this moment they each realized the depths of their own side in this emotional swell between them.
Two pairs of eyes locked shimmering onto one another, and fighting off the sudden urge to swoon Nolan reached on autopilot for Lou's shoulder. "Ok," he heard himself relent far too bluntly. He was taken, plain and simple. He would mind least of all if staying at the Institute to aid and befriend Lou meant the chance to connect with him in an even more meaningful way. He would be honored for the chance to fill the loveless void inside the lonely man.
A triumphant sort of hum slipped out Lou's nose. What a cute reflex that had been. He stared at Nolan's lips for a split second, catching himself thinking that and hesitating to realize he actually had to break the ice now.
Before thoughts of any kind could set in, he did it. A fast peck to get it over with pressed the other doll's mouth. Still holding Nolan, Lou let his gaze turn up in thought after he'd done it, smacking his lips experimentally. Now that he'd done it...it didn't seem like as big a deal as Nolan had made it out to be. Or his own nerves had. He'd liked it. He liked the way that little bit of Nolan had come off to flavor his own lips.
With that tension struggle out of the way, Lou promptly slumped forward and claimed Nolan's mouth in a much deeper kiss, throwing his arms around the other man and pushing forward greedily.
Nolan had barely gotten a chance to register the contact the first time, but he's still seen a burst of stars as his brow raised. So soft, so cute, such magical sparks..! Just like always fantasized..! His jaw hung slightly ajar as Lou pulled back, burning up inside and hardly believing that had even happened while it appeared Lou was deciding what he'd thought of the experience...and then Lou's opinion was made abundantly clear as he threw himself back on the brown-haired man with abandon.
Now Nolan was sure his eyebrows were in danger of disappearing into his hairline. Lou wasn't lying when he said he wasn't shy! If flames could have shot out the top of Nolan's head, he was sure they would have. He felt that small burst of flutters exploding into a hot mess of dizzying desire. He saw a whole galaxy of stars.
The flavor of dried tears did little to stem the bliss this kiss brought. Lou was clearly feeling better by the way he hummed heavily against Nolan's mouth, hands now holding the back of the brunette's head and around his shoulders.
Nolan felt himself melt against the other's fit front, letting his own hands come up to hold Lou's sides. He let his eyelids slide shut and hummed back, accepting the show of passion and wanting to reciprocate, let Lou know that he approved.
Any nerves Lou had left were gone when Nolan kissed him back. He felt a long breath slip from his nose and he melted in turn against the thin body happily clutching to him. For the first time in a long time, he began to feel a weight lifting off of his mind. He felt truly relaxed. He felt a spark of hope.
Intently, yet tenderly, the two spent a good moment kneading into one another and lapping gingerly at each other's lips. One of Nolan's hands reached up to palm Lou's salty cheek and stroke it comfortingly with his thumb. The brunette felt Lou give a small smile against him and had to return the infectious expression.
Only seconds after that, the two had to part since the kiss was hard to maintain while grinning. They spent another beat smiling dumbly and sharing an awkward chuckle with their foreheads pressed together. Nolan's thumb continued massaging Lou's cheek. "That was...nice," he said bashfully. "I definitely still like you and want to stay here to help."
A fond tut. "You'd better." Leaning into the palm on his cheek, Lou noted, "And weirdly enough...I feel better. Thank you? I feel like is the thing to say? Yes. Thank you for listening?"
Another soft chuckle from Nolan. Between gratitude and enamor, clearly there was work to be done on expressing genuine feelings as they came, but it was work Nolan looked forward to. Lou was still naturally entertaining and a grand presence, and the brunette was glad he'd managed to cheer the man. "You're welcome. I'm glad to hear it. Now, come on, what say we start on getting you cleaned up?"
Slowly he moved to stand, taking Lou's hand once more to encourage him to abandon that lonely stoop. The blonde was going to feel much better getting a nice washcloth on his face, and then Nolan would take him to his place to get his suit fixed before making some calls to his stylist friends. From there Nolan would stay by Lou's side and help him address the populous of the Institute. They would set to work redeeming Lou in everyone's eyes and reforming him as the leader he'd once been meant to be.
Lou's smile was a tad nervous and wobbly, but he found that strange spark of trust lingering in his belly, telling him that he'd finally found a fresh start, a step towards his happy ending, and he followed briskly.
The two dolls trotted off in the opposite direction of the portal to the Big World, the sensation mutual that everything they needed for that happy ending was on this side of it for now.