Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Oshi No Koi

"This place is awful!"

"It's fine, isn't it? It has its own charm." Naruto replied, eyes focused on a notebook in front of him, sitting cross-legged on the mat, humming without a care in the world. When the kids were preoccupied with the TV was one of the very little times he had peace.

Not to say he didn't love them both but Naruto wasn't a liar. They were a handful and that was him being short with it.

The miniature nine-tailed fox huffed, its tiny tails flicking in frustration as it twisted and turned restlessly glaring out the window.

"Is this the natural evolution of you humans?! The air is rancid and mutated. Filled to the brim with impurities!" Kurama continued, uncaring.

"The urban areas are a bit smokey, maybe. But it's not that bad."

"I feel like I'll become a mutant if we stay longer."

"More than you are now?"

"Everything's so stuffy here. There's no breeze, no fresh air. It's like being trapped in that damn seal again! Bah!" The fox spat out the window, glaring at the massive mountainous range, not even realizing the irony.

"You don't even go out. How would you know?"

"The food...who even eats this stuff? I can't even tell what half of it is. These sick humans even eat snails. Snails!"

"You don't need to eat, and the food tastes the same. Even better actually-"

"And don't get me started on the people here! They're all so loud and weird!"

"Okay, you're just reaching now. I was the loudest person you knew."

The fox gave the sage a pointed look. "And I didn't like you then either! You don't even care, do you?"

"Hmmmm."

"You're just sitting there all calm, like everything's fine. Well, it's not! We're going to live life here in complete peace, unable to be threatened by anything and you don't care!"

"Hmmmm." Wasn't that a good thing? Well Naruto didn't feel it needed to be said.

The fox leaped off the ledge, landing lightly on the floor and paced around the room. "And the weather! What is it, huh?! It's always so damn hot!"

"Hmmmm."

The fox glared at the sage, but he didn't even blink, continuing his steady hum. With a frustrated growl, the fox hopped back onto the windowsill.

"Do you ever talk, or is this all you do? Hum? You're not that kind of sage brat!"

"Hmmmm."

"Gah!"

Naruto peeked a single amused eye towards the fox thrashing again. He couldn't quite say he expected to ever see the day The Great Kyuubi no Kitsune was reduced to a whining child but he didn't fault him for it. He had earned it even if he shouldn't have needed to in the first place.

Still both stopped their little game when the quick patter of feet sounded down the hall.

After exchanging a brief glance with each other, Kurama snorted before turning away and settling down. Naruto, shaking his head, stood up, closing the Hiraishin notebook. It wasn't much, just a few things Kurama had managed to dig up from his old memories, but it made for a good pass time.

"Daddy…"

Naruto froze, blinking in surprise. Standing at the door was his little girl, fully decked out in a purple gi that was still a bit too big for her. The sleeves rolled up slightly, revealing her tiny, clenched fists.

But what really caught him off guard wasn't the gi, it was the intense stare she was giving him. Her eyes pale and milky white, were wide and unblinking as she began walking toward him with complete seriousness.

The Byakugan.

He had almost mistaken her for…

'...Huh?' Naruto's mind stalled as he stared at her. He'd known there was a chance, of course, she was a Hyuga after all, but...she was only two wasn't she? Wasn't that a bit too young?

Naruto blinked again, fighting back a smile. Despite his initial shock, he couldn't help but feel a swell of pride.

"Daddy…"

"Hima? What's wrong now?" he asked, crouching down to her level.

"Daddy, you didn't tell me you taught big brother a new kata! It's so cool! Why didn't you teach me too, Daddy? Don't you like me?" It was easy to see the hurt and disappointment.

Naruto scratched the back of his head, momentarily thrown off guard. "Wait a second, Hima…" He furrowed his brow. "What are you talking about? I didn't teach Boruto any new kata. You two are still working on your basics."

Himawari's frown deepened. Her small brow furrowed in disbelief as she crossed her arms. "But, Daddy, I saw it! Boruto was practicing a new kata out back, and it looked so pretty!"

Naruto blinked again, his confusion only growing. "I swear I didn't teach him anything like that. Are you sure you saw it right?"

"I saw it!" she insisted, her Byakugan eyes still locked on him as if telling him how much she saw it. "Boruto was doing it! He even yelled out a super cool move, why didn't you teach me that one, Daddy?"

'Yelling out moves?! I thought I nipped that in the bud when I was 15! How did he-'

"Hima, I swear, I haven't taught Boruto anything new today, and you know I wouldn't leave you out." His tone softened as he lowered down further, placing a hand on her small shoulder. "You'll learn all sorts of cool things too, when you're ready. I promise."

Himawari's intense gaze softened a little, but she still seemed uncertain. "Okay, Daddy…" she mumbled and without her notice her dojutsu became inactive.

Naruto chuckled softly, rubbing her head affectionately. "You're my little ninja, Hima. Always and forever, now show me where Boruto is. Let's see this new Kata."

He'd tell her about her little discovery later.

It was horrifying. Not even in his worst nightmare had he imagined seeing such a sight.

Naruto stood dazed in the doorway, unable to comprehend what he had just witnessed. It was the antithesis to everything he had tried to be since he came to this world.

He had put a lot of effort into shedding any bad habits that may trickle down to his children. While he couldn't avoid some things (honestly was that verbal tick hereditary?) he had still tried his best.

So please explain.

Why?

Why was Boruto spinning through the air throwing his hands up in a mockery of taijutsu?!

"Hiya! Wah, wah wah cha chaaaaaa! Take that!"

The kicks were executed with exaggerated twists, punches flew in wild, uncoordinated arcs, and the boy was shouting out moves like he was in a movie.

It was the complete opposite of everything Naruto had ever taught him.

With a loud whoop, Boruto jumped again, spinning into yet another set of ridiculous sequences and despite the complete lack of precision or even practical use, he grinned widely and struck a dramatic pose, fist raised high in the air.

"Yeah!"

Himawari, his next impressionable child, stood next to him, her eyes gleaming with envy. "See, Daddy? Cool, huh?"

Naruto glanced at her.

Cool? Really?

"Dad! Did you see me?!" Boruto evidently heard her as he came running over to Naruto.

"Oh…I saw all right Boruto…who did you learn it from? Hima was curious." Trying to keep the twitching off his face, Naruto was subjected to a smug smile.

"Jackie Chan, Kwung Fu Master, the best fighter ever!"

Naruto's hand paused from settling on the boy's head and a sneaking Kyuubi's bloodthirsty roars rang in his head echoing the challenge in his chest.

'Finally! A worthy RIVAL!'

Ai sat at her kitchen table, a cup of tea growing cold as she tapped away on her phone, scrolling through an endless list of ideas.

The twins' birthday was just a week away, and she wanted everything to be perfect, no, better than perfect. It had to be a celebration that would make them smile for years to come!

'If only we could have celebrated in our new house.' She sighed sadly. She had tried getting it quicker as apparently living in an apartment was "not very conductive in building equity!" or so said the President.

"Okay, let's see…" She muttered under her breath, biting her lip in thought as her fingers flicked through various online stores. She narrowed her eyes, staring at a set of sparkly party decorations.

Too flashy, too girly, this was a dual birthday after all. She wanted something they'd enjoy and both feel included in.

"Maybe a picnic?" Ai murmured to herself, tapping her chin thoughtfully. Her fingers continued to scroll past all the extravagant party packages before quickly stopping when she remembered their circumstances.

Ai sighed and put a hand on her cheek.

'How am I supposed to balance both of them? And I don't want to have another birthday inside here but it isn't like there are many other options…'

Her eyes suddenly brightened as she clicked on a photo of custom-made cakes, two cakes, side by side, one in a pastel pink, the other a serene blue. The cakes were decorated with delicate sugar flowers, each one unique.

She could already picture the delighted look on Ruby's face and Aqua's impressed expression.

Then, Ai's phone buzzed.

It was a message from the President, again reminding her of a meeting later tonight. It was for another show offer. She was getting many of those now and it still felt strange.

'!'

Just about to click out of the message she saw another name down below and felt a flash of inspiration. Ai was a secretive woman and she only had three contacts in her phone. How could she forget so easily!

She had a super dad on the hotline!

7 days ago

Looking at the last message she sent, she felt a bit guilty. They had been back and forth messaging each other for days after their first meeting but it had slowly died out.

Not because Uzumaki sensei wasn't responsive but more because Ai felt she was being a bit intrusive on him.

She had asked about a lot of things concerning being a mother and it wasn't until she almost typed "How do you know if you truly love your children." that she had scared herself and put down the phone.

What was wrong with her? Who asked something like that?

Uzumaki sensei had a very scary way of getting one to talk without knowing. He asked very pointed questions that she encountered very little in life.

Was he a therapist?

Either way she didn't even question why that feeling of reluctance disappeared now.

All she knew was that she had a secret cheat to help her at her fingertips.

Ai: Sensei, this student needs your guidance again!

Naruto: Hello to you too, Freeloader.

Ai: Ah! Surprisingly harsh but true?! Heya sensei!

Naruto: You only text when you need me.

Ai: Sensei please don't expose my fakeness so easily?!

Naruto: I haven't felt this used since my childhood.

Ai: I'm very concerned about how you were raised!

Naruto: Thank you for the concern freeloader.

Ai: Sensei!

Naruto: Sorry, your reactions are just as vivid as ever.

Ai: This Ai is glad you got some entertainment out of her concern for you.

Ai: But Sensei, I need help! The twin's birthdays are coming up soon!

Naruto: Really? That's great, congratulations but I fail to see how I can help.

Ai: Sensei you're the ultimate dad, of course you can help!

Naruto: ??? My children aren't that much older or younger than your siblings. Wait, how old do you think I am?!

Ai: Don't be stingy about sharing your Daddy powers sensei! Also you're the only person I could come to!

Naruto: I'm your final option?

Ai: Nooooo~ You're my only one!

Naruto: Tomato, Tomato.

Ai: Actually, this is more of a glass half filled situation sensei!

Naruto: So you are aware! You know what I have a solution-

Ai: Wait, don't do anything drastic sensei!

Ai: Sensei?

Ai: Sensei!

Ai: This isn't funny sensei!

Ai: Wait, wait, wait, did you block me-

"Dad, answer your phone, it's way too loud!" Boruto groaned from his spot on the floor, staring at the TV with the blank, glazed expression of someone who enjoyed TV too much.

Naruto chuckled, setting down the pan and turning off the stove. He peeled off his apron with a dramatic flourish, making his way around the counter toward the relentless buzzing of his ringtone.

"Hello? Uzumaki Naruto speaking." He answered the phone, already guessing who it was, and grinned when he was met with silence.

"Huh. Must've been a wrong number-"

"Wait, wait! Aren't you supposed to gently coax me into talking, maybe apologize, and then we have this big, emotional makeup scene where you finally agree to help me?!" A frantic, pleading voice tinged with a characteristic softness, came through the speaker.

Naruto blinked, taken aback. "You've got quite the imagination Ai."

"That's how these things go! C'mon, stick to the script, sensei!"

Naruto glanced over at his kids, still glued to the TV, and decided he could stop toying with the young girl.

"How about we skip all the dramatic stuff and I just help you?"

"Even better! I'll see you at 10 a.m. sharp! Thanks!"

Naruto stared at the phone, completely dumbfounded when the call ended as abruptly as it started.

"What... does she really think I'm going to come to her…?"

His eyes widened as a screenshot of her location pinged on his screen. This girl was far crazier than he thought.

Oh and she blocked him as well.

Damn.

Suspicious. Ai Hoshino was definitely acting suspicious today!

Aqua's sharp gaze was fixed on his mother as she carefully spritzed another touch of perfume on her neck, the sweet scent tickling his nose.

His eyes narrowed in confusion.

Despite his lack of interest in relationships in his past life, having been too consumed with his degree to think about dating, he could still tell when something related to it was up.

"Mom, what are you doing?" Aqua asked seeing her finish up. It was probably better to act clueless. Even a baby with a high IQ wouldn't catch on to these things just yet.

Ai flinched, a quick movement of her head as she turned to face him. Aqua gulped, his breath caught as he noticed how the subtle hints of makeup she'd applied made her idol features stand out even more.

Her beauty was truly top tier, but there was something almost enchanting about the way it all came together today. Her flawless skin, the shimmer of her eyeshadow, and the faint blush on her cheeks.

She looked magnetic!

Before he could say anything more, Ai smiled and moved towards him, her earnings jingled lightly as she moved.

"Aqua! I thought you were playing with Ruby!" She picked him up and despite his suspicion he leaned into it as always.

"She's hogging the TV mom but where are you going?"

"Well…" She trailed off and he leaned in.

"That's a secret!" She bopped his nose, getting him to scrunch it as she moved them to the front room.

"Mom?"

"I'm sure our Aqua already knows what's coming up so mom hopes you can still pretend for her." Giving him a sly wink, Aqua's eyes widened as he remembered their birthday was quickly approaching.

So that's what this was about? She was going out to start preparing? Thank goodness, he thought-

"Okay mom." The boy was lowered to his sister who looked as confused as he did when he saw Ai.

"Good, Aqua. Now, oh look! Miyako-san is here!" Ai hurriedly rushed to the door, and Aqua's eyes followed as a very tired-looking Miyako-san was revealed.

"What's going on? Why does Mom look so...tasty?"

"Ruby, that's an inappropriate way to talk about Mom!" Aqua replied sternly. "Also, she's going shopping for our... you know."

"Our what?" Ruby tilted her head.

"Our birthday. Did you forget?"

Ruby blinked, processing for a moment.

"…Oh."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just... a bit weird. We didn't really celebrate birthdays much..."

Aqua gave her a concerned side-eye, but before he could say more, his attention shifted as Miyako flopped onto the couch. The moment her head hit the cushions, she was out cold, snoring loudly just a minute later.

"Aqua, Ruby, Mom's going out now. Bye-bye!" Ai cheerfully called, popping on a pair of glasses and a cap. She gave them one last wave before the door clicked shut behind her.

Aqua was content to let it go, but Ruby…

Without a second thought, Ruby dashed toward the window, clearly eager to see Ai leave and Aqua followed her slowly when he heard her gasp loudly.

His own jaw dropped as he looked out to see Ai, grinning widely, crawling into the front seat of a very familiar jeep.

Soon enough the jeep drove off but the two toddlers had seen enough.

"Aqua…"

"Yeah?"

"...A-are we being Ntred?"

"..."

"I was thinking of getting them this cake! Isn't it great?"

A phone was suddenly shoved into Naruto's line of sight, and he sweatdropped at the image she was showing him.

"Ai..."

"Yes?!"

Her starry eyes, still something Naruto found hard to forget, were practically sparkling now. He hesitated, not wanting to crush her enthusiasm, but he couldn't hold back.

The need to tease was too strong.

"That cake is nearly taller than you."

"Ack! Unexpected, but well-timed diss, Sensei!"

Naruto bit back a snort as her face scrunched up in exaggerated pain and she went back to her phone in shame.

Accelerating forward slowly, Naruto sent a glance over to his young companion.

"You can just get a smaller one you know? Save the picture."

"Sensei I'm not that stupid you know?" Though she said that Naruto could still catch her fingers moving away from the delete button and her turning away quickly.

"Hah, whatever you say."

He still wondered how long it would take for her to realize she hadn't told him where she wanted to go.

He truly worried for this girl.

Putting his eyes back onto the road, Naruto changed direction to the nearest mall. Hopefully whatever she needed could be gotten their-

"Err…sensei-" Naruto raised an eyebrow at the meek voice but nodded letting her know he was listening.

"I forgot you have responsibilities as well, you were able to find a babysitter for your children right? Sorry…" He could hear the concern and appreciated it.

"Don't worry they always have someone at home to watch them. I wouldn't have left otherwise." The kids loved to play with their Uncle Kurama and a clone of his was nearby to make sure nothing went wrong.

Wasn't like he couldn't get back in like 5 minutes anyway.

"Ah their mother right?" So she did have some social awareness eh? Why else would she look so much more interested?

"No, she's no longer with us unfortunately. There is a neat babysitter nearby though."

"Also it's okay, no need to be sorry it's something we've learned to live with a long time ago." Naruto forestalled any sympathies and nearly smiled seeing her mouth shut before she looked at him with something he rarely saw from her.

Irritation.

"...you're so annoying sometimes sensei. Please follow the script and let me give my condolences!"

"It's too fun teasing you though."

"Oi. I ain't that scary. I'm an approachable guy, right, Ai?" Uzumaki-sensei's voice filled with mock offense as they strolled along the shop aisle for banners.

Of course what he was referring to was the family that made the smoothest U-turn humanly possible when they saw him in the aisle. She was impressed, she knew how hard a turn like that was.

"Hmm, how do I say this, Sensei?" Ai mused, holding up a brightly colored banner to get a good look at her mentor.

He was leaning on the cart behind her having delegated himself to the task while he gave out his opinions. But Ai's main focus was on him, his blonde hair, the three pairs of marks on his cheeks, and his unusual height.

Even the black, long-sleeved shirt he wore, fitting snugly against his broad shoulders, didn't do much to hide his muscle definition. His dark, loose-fitting pants added to the reason why the family didn't take a second glance.

She glanced up at him from her silent evaluation, noticing the impatient gleam in his eyes as he awaited her response.

"Well..." she started, chewing on her lip, "It's not that you're unapproachable, per se. But more like... you look like you'd be really difficult to deal with if someone, say, upset you. I think you could probably throw me pretty far if you wanted to, after all."

Uzumaki-sensei tilted his head, his eyebrow quirked. "So, what you're saying is... I look scary?"

Ai hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah. But in a cool way. Like a movie star or so."

Of course, she felt a little more qualified to say that with her own rising fame, as she had met a few herself.

Placing the banners into the cart, Ai hummed in thought, looking down the aisle and realizing there was nothing else she really needed here. "Let's get some balloons next… Sensei? What's wrong, Sensei?" She asked, noticing the subtle change.

"It's nothing, honestly," he said quickly, avoiding her gaze, which only made her more curious.

Ai narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "You're a bad liar, Sensei. Tell me what's bothering you. Maybe I can help?"

Uzumaki-sensei's response was a quick, dismissive "Nope, I'm good," but Ai wasn't buying it.

"You sure? It's pretty clear whatever it is, it's bothering you." she said, giving him a knowing look. Feeling a rare moment of concern for him despite his maturity, she latched onto his arm in a firm grip.

"Seriously, you're not fooling me, Sensei. Just tell me. Maybe it'll help."

A soft chuckle escaped him. "Trust me, Ai. It isn't that serious. I'm fine."

"You're not. Just tell me. You'll feel better after, promise."

"Okay."

"Sensei, just tell me. I won't stop until you do- wait did you say okay?!"

"I can already tell you won't stop and I think you need this more than me."

The knowing look he gave made her cheeks heat up in embarrassment as she let go of his arm.

She had gotten a bit too excited sure but was it so wrong to want to help him for once? That was why her shamelessness came in full force and she looked him directly in the eyes with a smile.

"Well go on sensei! Share the juicy bits!"

"Hmmm, you have to promise not to laugh though."

"Cross my heart!"

Of course Ai Hoshino was a notorious good liar-

A very contrite Ai Hoshino sat in the seat of Uzumaki-sensei's jeep on her phone, desperately thinking to try to fix the situation.

"This is bad."

She could practically feel her maturity points going down the drain in her sensei's eyes!

'Stupid! Why couldn't you have held it in just a little longer?' she thought, her cheeks still sore from the uncontrollable laughter. How could she not have laughed after what she heard?

She had thought it was a actually serious matter but she could have never had thought-

Ai flinched when the hood of the jeep's back trunk before shaking herself out of it and slapping her cheeks.

'You can do this!'

"Okay we can go now, anywhere else you need to-

"Sensei, it's okay! Trust me." The woman interrupted, placing a hand on the man's arm who glanced at her strangely.

"Huh?"

"I get that you're feeling a little upset about your child idolizing a movie star instead of you, but honestly, it's not a bad thing." She looked at his baffled eyes feeling like she had him hook line and sink!

"Heroes can come in many forms, and it's totally normal for kids to look up to people outside their family, especially if they're inspired by their talent or kindness! It doesn't mean they love you any less; it's just part of their growing process. It doesn't change the fact that you're still their first and most important role model. Trust me, they'll come to you for real guidance- wait nooooo!"

The idol tried frantically taking back the phone the Uzumaki swiped but-

"Y-you faker! You're reading this off the internet?!" It was the idol's turn to be laughed at as she turned inside the car in despair, her face burning far more than before.

She knew this was a bad idea!

It took a long time for the humiliation ritual to end but when it did Ai glanced over to Uzumaki sensei with a pout.

"That's not funny."

"It really is. You don't have to look up something to comfort me Ai. This is why I didn't want to tell you." He chuckled, handing her back the phone and Ai immediately closed the tab.

"But I wanted to help you! You already help me so much-"

"Then just be natural."

"...natural?" The word almost got a flinch out of the woman but she braved it through feeling she would learn something.

"Something genuine you know? Well I guess you were being genuine already but just tell me what you actually think-"

"I think you're being silly sensei."

"Ouch. Keep it coming!"

Trying to keep her smile down she tapped her lips thinking while they moved forward to their next destination.

"I mean toddlers aren't going to care about practicality or anything like that! They just want to have fun! Did you care about how practical something was when you were younger?"

"Not even when I was twelve. Your logic hurts my soul."

"Also it's Jackie Chan! Who doesn't love Jackie Chan?! You have a perfectly healthy toddler."

"Another good point!"

"Still I get what you're saying. It must hurt not being your child's idol anymore but you can't have everything right?" Though it was ironic that Ai never had to worry about that so far.

However, still seeing the slight downcast on his face, Ai tried lightening the mood with a joke.

"Of course…you wouldn't have to worry about that if you were to usurp him."

"Wha-"

"Think about it! Uzumaki sensei has a pretty handsome face, I'm sure you'd get a large following in no time!"

"I am in awe at how your brain operates. I don't think it's very conductive to compete with a man who looks over 70-"

"The weaker he is, the better your chances are!"

"...you are surprisingly bloodthirsty huh?"

"Only for sensei!"

Sorry for late release but just came down from a Marvel Rival craze so yeah.