A Perfect Day
18th of July 1997
The outline of the house above the cliffs loomed in the distance. A chilly wind rattled the shutters of the cottage; no light escaped through any of the windows. A rough thunderstorm cleared the air of dust and the summer's heat. Heavy clouds hang over the sea and the wind blew scattered grey shadows across the grass land. Lightnings struck the land in the distance.
Severus shivered slightly. The draughty air wrenched his cloak and hair. He was soaked wet from lurking in the middle of the rain since sunset. He had been on the run for more than two weeks. The ministry controlled all means of transport and had been close on Severus' heels. He misled them and preferred now the nature over a shelter at Malfoy Manor; he couldn't stand Lucius snotty patter anyway. Severus also used a chance to speak to the portrait of Albus Dumbledore in the headmaster's office while the whole wizarding world attended the funeral. The Aurors discovered the intrusion by now and had a good feeling to control floo network and apparitions from and to Malfoy Manor. He had to be careful until the ministry had fallen.
Severus was tired from hiding, worn-out from conscience and concerned if Mundungus Fletcher convinced the Order of the Phoenix to transport Potter using decoys. He'd done his best to plant the idea in the head of the thief inspired by Dumbledore's orders.
Today all was different. He followed a foreboding. Something in his stomach told him about a danger, and he lured in the darkness to fight whoever broke the peace of that place. But everything was quiet, and Severus cursed himself that he couldn't control the apothecary in Hogsmeade. The village was alive with Aurors and most of them keen to catch Severus Snape. He was unsure if Leonor really moved here.
Severus still observed the cottage when thin white smoke escaped from the chimney. Somebody was at home and red sky at the horizon announced the new day. Leonor must be awake, and Severus strode with large steps towards the door. At last, it was about time to see her. He waited long enough, and nobody followed him. He was sure of that.
He entered the corridor and put his broomstick next to the others. The fireplace in the kitchen held only dying embers, but the stove had just been inflamed. The place was still cold. Severus had his wand at the ready. Paranoia of the run from the ministry clasped his heart. Something moved in the bedroom and a sparse light appeared under the crack of the door. Severus entered slowly; the door made no noise.
The shutters were closed, candles and the orange glow of the fire illuminated the room well. An old woman bent over a small tub with hot water next to the fireplace, dressed in a hospital gown. The white apron above the smock was smeared with some blood. She hummed a melody. Severus opened the door farther, searching for Leonor. At that moment the old woman noticed and yelled at him.
"Goddamn, go out!"
A charm hit Severus' chest, and he stumbled backwards. He blocked the next attack.
"Bastard, get lost."
The old woman raged like wild, defending the room staunchly.
"I know your face Severus Snape. I've no misgivings killing you."
"It's alright, Caryn," came a faint voice from the bed. The midwife didn't even hear it and Severus blocked the spells raining on him, too paralysed fighting back.
"Caryn," screamed Leonor with what sounded like the last strength. "Let him be, he's the father."
Caryn stopped dead in her tracks. The magic wand hung still high in the air. Severus shoved her aside and kneeled next to the bed. Leonor lay under a thin white blanked, her face pale, the dark hair stuck wet to her forehead.
"Leo, what is wrong?" Severus swallowed more words, taking her hot hand in his cool and caressing her cheeks.
"Don't worry," she breathed while hard-pressed from contractions, suppressing a scream.
Severus believed no word. Fear marked his face, and he felt even colder in the well-heated bedroom. Then the midwife seized his collar and dragged him outside with an immense force of a small old woman, cussing in a language that he recognized as Gaelic.
"You go and take a shower, stinking, wet man. You are only alive because she wants it. I will call you when it is time and don't dare to return earlier. The room is sterile, dirty brute. Heat the fire in the kitchen before you do other nonsense." The old female shut the door in Severus' face and locked it.
Severus stood alone in the darkness; all strength left his limbs. He felt as if all magic had been sucked out of him; knowing by now that the baby was about to be born and Leonor looked terribly frail. Then he heard the old hag humming again and hoped that it meant that everything took just more time.
He felt like in a daze, got wood from outside and put more in the stove. He heated the fireplace. No sound escaped from the bedroom door. Waiting felt like an eternity. Finally, he remembered to take a shower and walked upstairs. The mirror showed an old man, unkempt, filthy and scary. He was a threat just from the looks. That strange man — unknown to himself — undressed quickly and stepped under the shower. Hot water rinsed the skin until it burned red from scrubbing. Severus used some charms to repair and clean shoes, trousers and shirt; and then he put everything else in the washing machine and activated it with a spell. He found an iron in one of the empty bedrooms upstairs.
Severus felt slightly better now when walking down, at least he was clean and properly dressed. He nursed the fire and sat on the sofa, the elbows on the knees and the face in his hands.
The sun rose above the horizon when Caryn opened the bedroom door just a crack. Severus looked up and the midwife studied his appearance hypercritically. She held the wand like a lance in front of her body and put him deliberately in suspense with the long silence.
Caryn controlled the fire, rummaged in some cupboards and spoke at last, "The fire is in good order. You can see her now. I warn you, don't be rude." She jerked her head to make him move.
"Thank you," murmured Severus before stepping inside.
The room was still dark and overheated. Leonor slept. She looked incredible small in the large bed and was almost invisible between the many pillows.
"Leo," whispered Severus and kissed her temple gently.
It took a moment until Leonor opened the eyes. A smile brightened the pale face recognizing Severus.
"Good that you came," she said touching his cheek, and he could not help kissing her deeply. She allowed it willingly.
"Take your hands off her. She's exhausted," interrupted Caryn.
Leonor didn't take it seriously and put her arms around Severus' neck and said, "Sit on the bed, next to me."
Leonor heaved herself up and Severus put some pillows in her back. He didn't dare to look at the midwife and held Leonor's hand firmly. Severus stood rooted to the spot and too afraid to cause another outbreak of Caryn. He wanted to stay and not been thrown out again.
"Sit," repeated Leonor.
"Do as she says," growled Caryn and shoved Severus down. Then she pressed a small bundle into Leonor's arms.
"Congratulations, you are a father of a daughter," stated the midwife matter-of-factly.
A friendly expression hushed over the wrinkled face when Severus had now only eyes for the new-born baby. He found no words, just stroked the fists of the little girl with his finger. His daughter was beautiful. He just saw an incredibly small face and rosy skin under a white knitted hat. Then he looked up at Leonor.
"We are both fine," she reassured him. "Take her."
Severus gazed at the baby then at Leonor. She just nodded and gave him the baby in the soft blanket. He hesitated, and then he was brave enough to embrace the smallest person he'd ever seen in his life.
"She's perfect," he whispered quietly.
Leonor snuggled closer, resting her head on Severus shoulder. The baby made a face and yawned. Then the little one woke up.
"Say hello to dad!" whispered Leonor.
Severus leaned his head against his love's forehead, smiling, "Can I give her a kiss?"
"Sure," grinned Leonor. The memorable moment passed too quickly.
The midwife opened the shutters and let the day illuminate the room. She brought them back to the present. The baby wailed with a tiny noise but stopped when Severus pressed soft kisses to her cheeks and the nervous moving fists. "It's alright," he said with his deep velvety voice.
Caryn spoke resolutely, "I'd like to finish my service. You can manage alone now. A soup cooks on the hearth. You are both in need of it. Leonor you stay in bed today, no walking, no stairs. Be careful with it for another week. The birth had complications and another pregnancy will be a risk. Young mothers and fathers tend to forget that if the baby is healthy and pretty like the little girl in your arms." Caryn gave the new parents a sharp and warning look to make sure they heard her.
Then she continued, "I want to complete the paperwork before I go. I need a name. You have ten minutes." Caryn fondled the cheeks of the baby and took it away from the father, humming the melody Severus' heard before.
Severus looked perplex down; he had not thought about that at all.
"I have a suggestion," ended Leonor the awkward situation.
"I want her to get a name with something of you and me in it. The middle name should be Eleanor like my grandmother. It means the bright and shining one."
Severus nodded and it became clear that he had no clue what name of his past would be suitable for a so wonderful girl.
"Eileen," said Leonor quietly, waiting for Severus reaction.
"My mother's name?"
"It means the same as Eleanor, but in Gaelic. Eileen was conceived in Scotland. Caryn speaks that language, and we owe her that we made it that well. But that is just a second thought from the last twenty-four hours." Leonor huddled against Severus chest and caressed his long slim fingers. Then she took a fine white-golden chain from under her nightgown.
"The main reason is that you gave me the charm with a diamond. It is a symbol of love before we knew what was happening to us. I held it close in the last weeks. It was my only light, my connection to you, the hope to see you again. It belonged to your mother and I want to give something back. She's been a good person. I saw that in your memories, though you might not understand that yet. She cared for you, Severus, in the depth of her heart she did. And little Eileen loves you too."
Severus' eyes became now wet, and he had to look away. He didn't want to show it.
"You are strong, Sev. Tears are no weakness," said Leonor softly.
"Do you think it is the right choice?" he answered with a shaky voice.
"Only if you agree."
Severus hesitated and answered only after looking a long time at the baby girl. "Eileen. Alright."
Caryn returned at that moment with a questioning look.
"Eileen Eleanor Snape," beamed Leonor.
"Are you sure?" questioned the midwife and looked as if Leonor had finally gone mad.
Severus was shocked and snarled. "They will ask questions about the birthplace. You'll lose that save house. They trace Eileen as soon as she shows the first magic. The last name needs to be Scott."
"He has a point. I never agreed to a Death Eater before." Caryn shook her head desperately and began to scribble on parchment. Then she handed two scrolls out.
"Take both versions and don't take too long to bring one to the ministry. It's dangerous holding it back, because of the trace on underage magic. The last name can be changed if you get married."
"Thank you, Caryn. We would not have made it without you." Leonor pressed the hands of the old woman warmly.
"Ah, that's not worth mentioning."
The old woman looked now friendlier and gave even a smile to Severus.
"I see you in seven days and then you wipe my memory and I forget about helping here," said Caryn, but she sounded now mild and wiped a wet glance from her eyes.
At the door, she turned again and grumbled, "I knew that Leonor didn't 'meet a stranger in a bar'. She's not the type for a one-nighter. I see that you love her, Severus Snape. Take good care of them. Good Luck!"
Severus accompanied Caryn outside. When he returned, he watched Leonor. She had the eyes closed and dark circles around the lids, a sign that she was more than tired. Eileen slept peaceful in the baby cot next to the fireplace and moved sometimes like acting in a dream. The air outside was cooler than the days before and Severus put more wood to the fire. The wind picked up again and sent more clouds over the coast.
He could not remember when he ate the last decent meal, tightened his belt and straightened the silver cufflinks on his shirt. That was not important, Leonor had to eat. Severus still shivered thinking of the intensity of that frail looking woman and how she combated him — the wild looking Death Eater, the murderer of Albus Dumbledore. Everybody knew his face since the wanted photos appeared in the Daily Prophet. It must have been a shock when he entered the room. Whatever Leonor told Caryn to allow him back to the bedroom, made him grateful. And she needed him here, right now. The house gave still an impression of being unused. The fridge was almost empty, and Severus was not even able to buy something in the village. He filled two plates with the rich chicken soup cooked by Caryn. It had to do for the moment.
"Wake up." Severus nudged Leonor carefully at the shoulder. "The soup is good and hot."
She woke up, still yawning and pale.
"Alright, do you also have something? You look thin."
"I have, no worries."
"How long can you stay?" asked Leonor slightly apprehensive.
"Until the Dark Lord summons me. Dependent on what he wants I can return. I'm not much of use when known all over town. Have there been pictures in the muggle press?"
"I think so."
They continued to eat in silence.
"What went wrong during the birth? Did I do something when I entered?" Severus asked subdued, feeling washed with guilt. He set both plates to the nightstand that Leonor couldn't see his distress.
"I was under pressure and had not enough strength anymore. It caused prolonged labour which made the situation even worse and then the inside scars of my injuries started to bleed. It really got the nerves of Caryn. She was afraid; I had to take several potions. You came in the right moment."
"I felt out of place."
"Caryn prepared the baby tub, humming to make me relax. I lost hope. She only told me afterwards, how worried she was that the baby got stuck in the last minutes. You gave me a boost. See, you've been so important, and I did the rest myself for us and that Eileen can see the light of the day. We heard the shower upstairs when I held her in my arms the first time, naked and crying. She's a small baby."
They kissed tenderly. "I'm proud of you. Your lips are so soft," murmured Severus. "It is unbelievable that I can hold you here and now."
"I'm in love with you," whispered Leonor. "You wore the same white shirt with the silver cufflinks and belt when I first wished that you touched me. It was, when …"
"… we met in the house in London," completed Severus the thought.
"How can you know?"
"You've been confused about yourself. I wanted to kiss you too and feared to scare you away. Would you have allowed it?"
Leonor shrugged, "Perhaps."
They held each other for another moment and then a hungry Eileen woke up. Severus put the crib next to the bed and gave the small bundle wrapped in a white blanket to his mother. He also took the opportunity to kiss mother and daughter on the forehead.
"I leave you alone," said Severus quietly and went to the kitchen.
Curiosity brought him back and he leaned against the door frame. Eileen smacked and the small body tried hard, suckling hungry on Leonor's nipples. The picture was so peaceful; there were no words for the love he felt.