"Great," Peter hissed, webbing Wade's mouth shut before he could make things worse. "Stay here, and don't do anything stupid."
Wade peeled the webbing off with a dramatic flourish. "Don't worry, Spider-Babe, I've got your back. Like, literally. Go on, do your thing."
Spider-Man crept forward, using his enhanced senses to locate the group of criminals. Sure enough, they were huddled around a table covered in blueprints, cash, and an array of dangerous-looking weapons.
"Alright," Peter whispered to himself. "Time to—"
"HEY!" Wade's voice boomed behind him, startling everyone in the room. Peter spun around in disbelief as Deadpool stood in the doorway, holding two grenades. "Which one of you jerks ordered the extra-large whooping combo?"
"Are you serious right now?" Peter groaned, already springing into action.
The room erupted into chaos. Guns fired, criminals shouted, and Spider-Man flipped through the air, disarming as many thugs as he could before they got off a clean shot. Meanwhile, Wade hurled one of the grenades—not at the bad guys, but at a random stack of crates.
"Boom, baby!" Wade cheered as the explosion sent shrapnel flying.
"Wade!" Peter yelled, narrowly dodging a piece of flying debris. "Are you trying to kill us?!"
"No, but it's a nice bonus!" Wade quipped, slicing through a henchman's weapon with his katana before flipping onto a nearby forklift.
Peter groaned but kept moving, webbing guns to walls and tying up criminals as fast as his hands could shoot. One of the thugs grabbed a rocket launcher, but before he could fire, Spider-Man yanked it away with a web.
"Who even brings a rocket launcher to an arms deal?" Peter muttered, catching the weapon and disassembling it with a few quick tugs.
"Amateurs!" Wade shouted, tossing his second grenade into the air for no apparent reason. It exploded mid-air, raining sparks down like a deranged Fourth of July display.
The fight was winding down when a particularly burly henchman pulled a lever on the wall, triggering a siren. Peter's heart sank as he realized what it meant.
"Self-destruct? Really?" he muttered.
"Nice!" Wade exclaimed, clearly impressed. "These guys know how to make an exit!"
"No, Wade,weneed to make an exit," Peter said, firing a web to a nearby beam and swinging toward the nearest door. "Let's go!"
Wade followed, sprinting through the chaos as explosions began to rock the building. They dodged falling debris, leaping and flipping their way toward safety.
"Spidey, catch!" Wade yelled, tossing something shiny. Peter instinctively caught it mid-swing.
"Is this... a grenade pin?" Peter asked, realization dawning on him.
"Yup!" Wade replied cheerfully.
"Wade!"
Behind them, a deafening explosion tore through the warehouse, sending flames and smoke billowing into the night sky. The force of the blast propelled Peter and Wade through a shattered window, landing them in a heap on the sidewalk outside.
Peter groaned, pulling himself to his feet and brushing off soot and debris. "That wasnotsubtle, Wade!"
"Oh, come on," Wade said, sitting up and adjusting his slightly singed mask. "We stopped the bad guys, didn't we? High five!"
Peter ignored the outstretched hand. "You blew up half the block!"
"Minor details," Wade replied, waving dismissively. "Besides, nobody got hurt. Well, nobodyimportant."
Peter gestured to the fiery wreckage behind them. "That doesn't look 'minor' to me."
Wade shrugged. "I think it went well."
As if on cue, another explosion erupted from the remains of the warehouse, this one much louder than the first. The ground shook beneath them, and a nearby car alarm started blaring.
Peter stared at the scene in stunned silence before turning back to Wade. "Thatwas the explosives cache, wasn't it?"
Wade's eyes crinkled mischievously behind his mask. "I mean... probably?"
Peter sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I can't believe I let you talk me into this."
"Hey, you didn'tletme do anything," Wade said, grinning. "You're just too nice to say no. But admit it—this was fun!"
Peter shook his head, already regretting every life choice that had led him to this moment. "I'm going to have so much paperwork to fill out."
"You do paperwork?" Wade asked, genuinely curious. "Lame. I just let my PR team handle that. Or ignore it. Either way, it's not my problem."
As sirens wailed in the distance, Peter shot a web at a nearby lamppost and prepared to swing away.
"You coming?" he asked, even though he dreaded the answer.
Wade hopped to his feet, dusting off his suit. "You kidding? Where you go, I go, buddy! We're like peanut butter and explosions."
"I think you mean jelly," Peter said, launching into the air.
"Do I?" Wade replied, leaping after him.
And as they disappeared into the night, the flaming wreckage of the warehouse a vivid backdrop, Wade's voice rang out, cheerful and unbothered:
"I still think that went well!"