The kingdom of Mercatia was unlike any other in the realm. Its ruler, King Wade Wilson, was equal parts eccentric and revered. While most monarchs dressed in ornate robes and carried themselves with solemnity, Wade donned mismatched finery and had an irreverent grin perpetually plastered on his face. He held court with jokes and challenges rather than decrees, and his people adored him for his unpredictability.

So when the announcement came that the Spider Prince of Arachneum, Peter Parker, was to fulfill the betrothal contract binding him to King Wade, the kingdom buzzed with excitement.

Peter had spent most of his life pretending the contract didn't exist. He'd been an infant when his parents had made the arrangement, and while it was no secret that it had been meant to solidify peace between their kingdoms, Peter had always hoped it would quietly be forgotten.

Now, sitting in a carriage as it rattled up the long, winding path to Mercatia's castle, Peter wasn't sure what he felt. Nervous? Resentful? Curious? He'd heard stories about Wade—wild tales of the unorthodox king who wore masks during diplomatic meetings and once threw a royal feast with a "taco-only" menu.

Peter sighed, adjusting his cloak as the carriage halted before the castle gates. The towering structure was made of pale stone, with banners bearing Mercatia's emblem—a stylized chimichanga—fluttering in the wind.

"This is going to be a disaster," Peter muttered under his breath as the doors swung open.

A booming voice greeted him. "Welcome, Spider-Prince! Or do you prefer Spider-Babe? Either way, your royal hotness has arrived!"

Peter stepped out, blinking up at the man who could only be Wade Wilson. The king wore an elaborate red and black ensemble with a crown that seemed to have been assembled from bits of scrap metal and jewels. His grin was wide and disarming, and his eyes sparkled with mischief.

"King Wade," Peter said, bowing stiffly. "It's an honor to—"

"Oh, drop the formalities, Petey!" Wade interrupted, pulling Peter into an enthusiastic hug. "We're basically married already! Might as well get comfy."

Peter stiffened in Wade's embrace, his cheeks flushing. "We're not married yet."

"Details, details," Wade said, waving a hand dismissively. "Come on, let's get you inside before you freeze your royal spider butt off."

The castle was every bit as chaotic as Peter had imagined. The grand hall was decorated with an odd mix of regal banners and colorful streamers, and the scent of fresh bread mingled with something Peter couldn't quite place but suspected was hot sauce.

"You'll love it here," Wade said, throwing an arm around Peter's shoulders as they walked. "Great food, excellent company, and no one takes themselves too seriously. Except Gerald."

Peter frowned. "Who's Gerald?"

"The goat," Wade said, pointing to a throne-shaped platform where, sure enough, a goat sat chewing lazily on a garland. "He handles all the boring official stuff when I'm busy."

Peter couldn't tell if Wade was joking.

As they entered the dining hall, a feast awaited them. The long table was laden with platters of roasted meat, vibrant vegetables, and, of course, a mountain of tacos. Wade plopped into his seat at the head of the table, gesturing for Peter to sit beside him.

"So," Wade began, stuffing a taco into his mouth, "what do you think of your future kingdom? Pretty great, huh?"

"It's... unique," Peter said carefully.

"That's code for 'insane,' isn't it?" Wade said, grinning.

Peter sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Look, Wade—King Wade—this isn't exactly how I imagined my life would go. I didn't have a choice in this arrangement, and neither did you."

Wade tilted his head, studying Peter thoughtfully. "True. But here's the thing: we're both here now. So why not make the best of it? Who knows, Spider-Prince, you might actually like me."

Peter's lips twitched into a reluctant smile. "You're very... confident."

"Confidence is key," Wade said, winking.

Over the next few days, Peter adjusted to life in Mercatia, though it wasn't easy. Wade insisted on showing him the "best" parts of the kingdom, which included a tour of the royal kitchen (where the chefs were engaged in a heated debate about guacamole) and a demonstration of the guard's combat skills (which turned into a pie-throwing contest).

To Peter's surprise, he found himself laughing more often than not. Wade's energy was infectious, and despite his antics, he genuinely cared for his people.

One afternoon, as they strolled through the castle gardens, Peter found himself opening up.

"I was always expected to be perfect," Peter admitted, plucking at the sleeve of his tunic. "My parents, my tutors... they wanted me to be the ideal prince. But I've never felt like I measured up."

Wade, who had been balancing a taco on his head for no apparent reason, stopped and looked at Peter with uncharacteristic seriousness.

"Hey," Wade said, his voice softer than usual. "You don't have to be perfect here. You just have to be you. And, spoiler alert, I think you're pretty great."

Peter blinked, caught off guard by Wade's sincerity. "Thanks," he said quietly.

"Don't mention it," Wade said, his grin returning. "Now, let's go see if Gerald's ready for his weekly bath."

Peter groaned but followed.

As the weeks passed, Peter found himself growing more comfortable around Wade. What had initially felt like an obligation began to feel... right. Wade's humor and kindness chipped away at Peter's walls, and Peter's quiet strength seemed to ground Wade in a way no one else could.

One evening, as they sat by the fire in the castle's library, Wade strummed a lute he had found while rummaging through the shelves.

"Do you ever stop moving?" Peter asked, amused.

"Not unless I'm sleeping. And even then, I'm pretty sure I snore in rhythm," Wade replied, plucking a few clumsy chords.

Peter laughed, and Wade glanced at him with a crooked smile.

"You've got a good laugh, you know," Wade said.

Peter's cheeks warmed. "Thanks."

They fell into a comfortable silence, the crackling fire filling the space between them.

"Hey, Petey?" Wade said after a while.

"Yeah?"

"I know this whole thing wasn't exactly a fairy tale for you," Wade said, his tone unusually serious. "But for what it's worth, I'm glad you're here."

Peter looked at him, his chest tightening. "Me too," he said softly.

By the time their wedding day arrived, Peter wasn't nervous anymore.

The ceremony was as unconventional as Mercatia itself, with goats in flower crowns and a taco buffet instead of a traditional banquet. But as Peter stood beside Wade, looking out at the sea of smiling faces, he realized he wouldn't have it any other way.

As the vows were exchanged, Wade took Peter's hands in his and grinned.

"Here's to the start of something amazing," Wade said.

Peter smiled, his heart full. "I think it already is."