Now that we'd settled the issue of what to do with Miranda, Edward rounded on Alice. "So, dear sister of mine," he said through gritted teeth, "Would you care to explain to me why you thought it acceptable to sacrifice Bella's life to rescue me?"

She narrowed her eyes in return. "That's a great way to say thanks for saving your sorry butt from Victoria."

"Thanks," he bit out.

"It was my choice to come here," I defended Alice. "It's not your job to protect me anymore, in case you haven't noticed."

"You both could have died!" Edward roared. He was glorious in his anger.

"You would have died if we weren't here!" I snarled back.

"We had a plan," Alice argued, and I knew she was showing Edward our preparations in her mind. She added aloud, "I wouldn't have helped Bella find you if I weren't reasonably certain we'd all make it out unscathed."

I wasn't sure that was actually true. Alice had been able to see me fighting Victoria even before we had a plan, which meant that I would have somehow convinced her to take me there in the absence of additional visions. But Edward had a different objection.

"You call this unscathed?" he growled, gesturing at me. "She's a vampire, Alice! This is the worst possible thing you could have done!"

I flinched at the venom in his voice. Was he so miserable to have me as one of his kind? Did he think I was going to be some kind of immortal stalker?

"I didn't turn her, Edward," Alice replied, exasperated. "I didn't even foresee her transformation until it was too late for me to do anything. I met up with her to help her adjust to life as a vampire, and we were together when I saw Victoria coming for you."

"Oh." Edward was convinced before she had even finished speaking–he could see the truth of it in her head. He turned to me, and demanded, "Who turned you, then?"

I raised my chin. "I did."

"She stabbed herself with a syringe full of venom," Alice elaborated, speaking aloud for Miranda's sake.

"Bella," Edward growled. Even in his furious state, I reveled in the sound of my name on his lips. "Who gave you the venom?"

I stayed defiantly silent.

Edward glanced back at Alice, but her thoughts could only reveal her ignorance. He seemed to deflate, and when he spoke again, it was much quieter.

"Why," he asked sadly, "Is your own soul worth so little to you?"

"You know I don't believe that vampires are soulless," I responded, equally softly.

"Your life, then. Charlie. Renee. Graduating high school, growing up… living."

"I did it to save my life!"

Edward frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Before she changed tactics and went after you, Victoria was trying to kill me. I knew that if I ran, she would go after my family. So I did the only thing I could think of to keep myself and them alive. Would you rather I were dead?"

He gaped at me. "Victoria… no… she was here, in South America. I was tracking her."

"She ran into me in northern Oregon," Miranda chimed in. "You must not have been doing a very good job tracking."

Edward ran his fingers through his tangled bronze hair and met my eyes. "I'm so sorry, Bella. If I'd had any idea… I never would have left you alone, at her mercy."

"As I said," I remarked bitterly, "I don't need your protection anymore."

He dropped his dark eyes, the picture of a dejected angel. I instantly regretted my harsh words. I tried again. "I found my own solution. Victoria is dead now. You have nothing to feel guilty about."

"I have everything to feel guilty about," he disagreed vehemently.

"Is he always this angsty?" Miranda asked Alice.

"Yeah, pretty much," the latter replied. "Moreso since he met Bella."

Edward steadfastly ignored them. "How did you find out Victoria was after you?" he asked me.

I thought fast. If I refused to answer, it would be obvious I was protecting my source–likely the same source who had given me the venom. And I didn't know very many vampires who would be informed of Victoria's whereabouts; Laurent was at the top of our very short list of mutual acquaintances. It wouldn't take a genius to suspect him. Was there some other plausible answer I could give?

"The Quileutes told me," I improvised. "You remember Billy Black–he's a friend of my dad's. The wolves ran into Victoria a few times, trying to get to Forks, and chased her off. Billy thought I might know what she was looking for, since I'd spent so much time with you all. It wasn't hard to guess that she was coming for me."

I half expected Edward to call me on the falsehood, but all he said was, "Ahhh." I'd never managed to lie to him before; I supposed the blush must have given me away when I was human. I was inordinately pleased by my successful fib.

"These are the same wolves I met before?" Miranda clarified.

"Yep. Well, probably their great-grandchildren."

"Why did you need to turn into a vampire, with the wolves protecting you?" Alice wanted to know. Uh-oh. She was right: if I'd known about the wolves as a human, I certainly wouldn't have taken such drastic action.

"What, trust a bunch of teenage shapeshifters to keep her alive?" Edward scoffed. "You didn't meet them, Alice, but they're volatile and irresponsible. They're just as likely to get in fights with each other as to catch Victoria."

I silently bristled on Jacob's behalf, but I wasn't stupid enough to throw away the excuse Edward had given me. Meanwhile, he changed gears.

"I owe you an apology," he admitted to Alice, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "I shouldn't have assumed that you changed Bella. I know you care for her. And I'm not unaware that you risked your own life to rescue me, too. Thank you."

She stepped forward lightly to give him a hug. "You scared me today. Stick with the family from now on, alright?"

"I will." Edward returned the embrace, then turned to me. "I should have known trouble would find you, Bella, whether I was there or not. I should have given you some way to contact us in an emergency. I'm sorry I left you with no better options than this…" He shook his head. "You were incredible today. Watching you fight Victoria…" he trailed off. "Thank you."

Alice chimed in before I could reply. "Bella was amazing, right from the beginning. Figured things out faster than any newborn I've ever seen. Not to mention she didn't kill a single human at the airport."

Edward never took his eyes off me as she spoke. His expression of awe ignited a warmth deep in my chest. I broke eye contact first, embarrassed.

Eventually, the discussion turned to logistics. Most of the Cullen family was vacationing in Norway, so our plan was to run to the northeastern tip of Brazil, then swim across to Africa. From there we would head north, crossing into Spain at the Strait of Gibraltar, and continuing through Europe.

Edward and Alice were debating the exact angle we should swim once we left Brazil. The argument involved the ratio of our running versus swimming speeds, an encyclopedic knowledge of currents in the Atlantic ocean, and no small amount of mental calculus. Next they considered our route out of Denmark: was it faster to detour over land through Sweden, or swim straight through the North Sea?

Nobody had shown me a map since I'd acquired an eidetic memory, so I didn't have much to contribute to the discussion. Miranda looked bored too.

"Have you ever been to Europe?" I asked her. "This will be my first time."

She nodded. "A few times, with Joham. He always planned our route."

I couldn't think of a reply, so we stood in a companionable silence. My gaze never left Edward. I'd only ever seen him bored in high school; now his golden eyes were animated with problem solving. He had never been more beautiful.

While I watched, I tried to make heads or tails of the conversation we'd just had. Edward was distraught over the loss of my soul–more upset at that than at the possibility of losing his own life. Did that mean he still cared for me? Then why didn't he want to be with me? Or was he just feeling guilty, in his typical Edward way, that his involvement in my life had led to this fate for me? It was probably the latter, I concluded. I could not afford to get my hopes up.

We packed up our few belongings, scattering the ashes of the bonfire that had once been Victoria, and began the fifteen-hour trek north. As we ran, Alice filled Edward in on what the rest of the family had been up to while he was in South America. Rosalie and Emmett were in college; this time she was studying electrical engineering while he tried out French literature. Jasper was learning various martial arts, hoping to improve his self-control. Alice had tracked down some distant family members and was reconnecting with them. Esme had taken up tapestry weaving and was creating decorations for the various family homes. Carlisle had taken some time off from working with patients and was researching new medical techniques. Most recently, they'd all taken an extended family trip north of Oslo.

"We were out hunting seals when I had a vision of Bella as a vampire for the first time in ages. I was so happy. At first I thought you'd changed your mind, Edward, but then I saw you were still in Brazil. Of course I had to go find out what was going on, and bring Bella back to join the rest of us. But I didn't want to spoil the surprise for everyone else, so I told them I would be gone for a week on a mysterious errand. Everyone will be delighted when they find out!"

Edward glowered at her. "Fine, everyone but you," Alice amended, her enthusiasm undamped. I winced. She carried on with her tale of introducing me to vampire life, seeing Victoria's plans, and our desperate race to reach him.

We still had a lot of Brazil left to run through after her story, so Alice started filling Miranda in on the details of our family, including each person's background and personality. I paid attention too: there were a number of details I hadn't heard before, such as Rosalie's desire for a family of her own and Jasper's time fighting vampire wars in the south. Eventually it was my turn to summarize my life–it seemed only fair, after Miranda had shared her story. I skimmed over my relationship with Edward, because it was just too awkward to admit the depth of my feelings in front of someone who no longer returned them.

When I wasn't speaking, I was watching Edward subtly. He was quieter than I remembered. At first I thought he was just bored by the stories he was already intimately familiar with, but as time passed, I could tell that he was sulking. I guessed that he was still unhappy about our previous conversation. Even when he was brooding, he was heartachingly beautiful.

To distract myself, I worked on flexing my power. As far as I could tell, this was equivalent to flexing the muscle around my pupil: completely out of my control. At least I knew where my pupil was supposed to be, unlike my imaginary shield.

I chose Alice as my target to protect, knowing that Edward would immediately notice if I were successful. I ran close by her and focused on my desire to defend her from Victoria. My mind pushed in every direction I could imagine. Nothing happened.

In the fourteenth hour of our journey, as Edward was describing his own close call with the Spanish influenza, I felt something shift for the first time. The faintest elastic thread moved under my mental pressure. I grappled with it, shoving it out toward Alice, then lost it.

"My mother begged Carlisle to–Alice? What was that?" Edward looked back at her.

I let out a celebratory whoop. "I did it!"

Alice whooped too, and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Did what?" Miranda asked.

"She shielded Alice's mind for a moment," Edward explained, beaming at me in a way that made my stomach flip-flop. "I could still hear it, but it was like getting a burst of static in a radio signal."

"That was fast!" Miranda praised me. "Can you do it again?"

"One second." I concentrated. I knew the rough feeling I was looking for, now, but the thread I had found earlier was gone. I could feel Edward watching me intently, his earlier moodiness buried for the moment, and I desperately wanted to impress him. How could it be so difficult to replicate my feat from a moment before?

After a minute, I slumped my shoulders in defeat.

"It's really hard," Miranda commiserated. "Keep trying."

I took her advice.

We finally reached the northeastern tip of South America. The next stage of our journey would be a two-and-a-half day swim to Guinea. Thankfully, Alice had anticipated the problems with navigating ocean currents in a dress, and had packed two bikinis for our trip. Miranda, clad in shorts and a tank top, seemed content to swim as she was.

Alice and I took turns changing behind a tree while Edward stripped down to his shorts. I'd always worn a one-piece swimsuit before, so I wrinkled my nose at the skimpy outfit as I slipped into it.

If I were still human, I'd definitely have been blushing as I stepped out from behind the huge cedar. Instead, I kept my face composed as I looked for Edward's reaction. I was gratified to see his eyes trace my half-covered curves hungrily. Suddenly remembering propriety, his head snapped away, and he looked rigidly forward into the distance. His bare torso had no less impact on me–with the sun shimmering on his pale muscular frame, Edward put male swimsuit models to shame.

Alice tugged at my arm, pulling me out onto the beach before I could make a fool of myself. She took a great running start and launched herself into the ocean, disappearing under the waves. I followed, trying to propel myself as far forward as possible with my initial dive. Opening my eyes underwater felt strange—it didn't hurt at all, but my eyes kept refocusing on all the tiny particles floating around in the murky water. As I got further from the shore, it cleared up a bit, and I found Alice waiting for me ten feet deep. Since we didn't need to breathe, our plan was to swim under the surface, where there was no risk of humans sighting us.

Alice rolled her eyes at my sloppy breaststroke. She mimed the proper movement, and I practiced pulling myself through the water with smooth powerful strokes and streamlined form. Edward and Miranda caught up quickly and showed me their own tips. When Edward took my arm to demonstrate the ideal angle of my elbow, I tried not to shiver at the electric feeling of his fingers brushing against me. I wondered if I was imagining his skin lingering intentionally on mine. But all too soon, he was satisfied with my technique, and we set out across the ocean. I settled in behind the three of them to gain a slight speedup from their wake.

It was over an eighteen hundred mile swim to western Africa. I was significantly slower at swimming than running, so I predicted it would take two or three days before we reached land. Once we were an hour out from the coast, Edward judged it safe to surface–the risk of encountering humans was minimal. I goofed around in the waves for a while, bobbing up and down, trying out different strokes. Renee had signed me up for a swim class when I was eight, but I hadn't practiced in years, and my body had never been so quick to obey my every whim. With the threat of Victoria gone, I felt more lighthearted than I had in days.

Miranda, who turned out to be quite a good swimmer, demonstrated her preferred style. It vaguely resembled the butterfly stroke I'd learned ten years ago–but whereas my butterfly then could be mistaken for a drowning toddler, she became a dolphin. Each pull of her lithe arms launched her twenty feet forward through the air.

Edward laughed in delighted surprise and mimicked her movements. The sun glistened off his skin as he arced forward, crashing back into the water and rocketing upward again. Since there was hardly any drag in the air compared to the waves, the two of them quickly outpaced me and Alice. Soon I could see only a distant pair of sparkling fish.

My good mood evaporated, replaced with a surge of jealousy. Miranda was beautiful and talented, and had a century of experience on me. Was it possible that Edward would fall for her charms? He seemed less gloomy swimming with her than he had in the entire run from Rio. I suddenly saw Alice's attentiveness to Miranda in a different light. She'd seen the other girl as one of the family… and the most obvious way for that to happen would be pairing up with the only unpartnered member of the Cullen family.

I forced the feeling down. Edward had already made his choice clear when he left Forks: he didn't want me. What did it matter if he ended up with Miranda, or someone else? He deserved happiness–and so did she, for that matter.

I just wasn't sure I could bear to be around to watch it happen.

I knew I could simply ask Alice what role she'd seen for Miranda in the family. I could even ask her what role she saw for me. Would I stay, and become one of the Cullens? Or would I make my own way in the world, as isolated as Miranda had been until today? I told myself it would be too inconvenient to talk while swimming… but the truth was, I was afraid to know the answer.

I learned to hunt when we crossed paths with a great white shark. Its jaws closed around my arm, but the rows of huge teeth were completely ineffectual against my diamond skin. Meanwhile, I bit into its underbelly and drank deeply. Its blood tasted disgusting—I was reminded of the time I'd both burned and over-salted some lentils, but made myself eat them because there was no other food in the house. After I sucked the shark dry, I felt sloshy and full. I hoped it would be good enough to resist the temptation of any humans we happened across at the end of our swim.

Miranda looked equally repulsed by my fare. She'd agreed to try out the vegetarian diet, but she wouldn't need to eat for another week.

"Having second thoughts, Miranda?" Alice teased.

"It's not the worst thing I've ever smelled," she remarked, "but it's close."

"It tastes much better than it smells," I fibbed. "Try a sip."

She sank her fangs in experimentally. The revolted look she gave me was priceless. I burst out laughing.

After a moment, she joined in. "You got me."

"Disgusting, huh? Now I know what I miss most about being human," I joked. Edward threw me an unamused look.

Soon after that, our ocean voyage came to an end. We found an abandoned section of beach and waded onto the shore. Alice returned my dress and Edward's shirt from her apparently-waterproof bag, and the four of us went back to running. In just over a day and a half, we would be reunited with the other five Cullens.

2024-10-19 A/N: Writing conversations between Edward and Alice is such a pain. I constantly feel the need to justify why they bother saying anything out loud, haha.