Begin Part D: Influencer's Requiem
The next morning, the Octopus and Starfish Kings arrived at the Shark Palace. The Shark King greeted them at the door and they went upstairs and down the corridor to the forbidden room.
Over on Dryland, Parker approached his generals at their table in the mess room before he went to get his breakfast. After being greeted by his generals, Parker had something to say to a couple of them. "Liam, Mauricio, Angelina, get yourselves ready after breakfast. We leave for Yokohama at 0800 hours. Everyone else, we're not going to be back for five days, so continue with your daily duties until we return."
In some universes, the Yokohama being referred to here isn't actually in Japan, but in the amalgamated state of Guangtoria in the amalgamated country of Australia/China. Decades ago, a program known as One Country Two Naming Systems enabled the names of Chinese cities, towns and provinces to be superimposed on Australian cities, towns and provinces, traditional Indigenous names be damned. For some reason, Victoria/Guangdong was special in that most of Melbourne/Hong Kong (amalgamated into Melbongkong) was named after Japanese cities, towns and prefectures.
On top of that, there is also the Archangel Tunnel System, a series of road and rail tunnels that allow people and freight to travel between Melbourne, Cardiff, São Paulo and Tokyo in a matter of hours. However, for Parker or the Shark King, it's really a matter of seconds for them, for Parker has a vortex manipulator he obtained on one of his past travels (it can't travel in time because that function became faulty) and the Shark King has Mirror World. I could go into the complications of immigration or customs, but it's best not to think about it when you're in such a universe.
Modern warfare nowadays has gotten sophisticated to the point that warring armies would taunt each other through social media. Parker was no stranger to this as he regularly filmed videos of himself and his friends doing things, including waging warfare through small antics. Even the Shark King Trebon was in on it as well, making some people think he was going through a midlife crisis. No matter who supported which side, people found enjoyment in those videos despite the comment sections being full of political slap-fighting.
Those videos were filmed in portrait (instead of landscape) and posted as reels (Facebook/Instagram), shorts (YouTube), TikToks, you name it. And because social media companies in this universe actually believe in free speech (unlike some universes), very little censorship occurred.
Parker was involved in a few sagas of internet beef that were collated into compilation videos by fans. In one saga, one of Parker's enemies, Daniel Teiro, taunted him on social media before leading him on a wild goose chase around different towns. Parker caught up with Daniel in one town and took him cupping to send him a message. When the lady owner wouldn't let him leave because he hadn't paid, Daniel ended up giving his golden necklace as payment, but it wasn't a big loss for him as it was just painted to look gold.
As payback, Daniel filmed a video of him smashing the front of Parker's motorbike with a plastic bat. After Parker did a response video to that, Daniel led him on another wild goose chase. The entire saga came to a climax when Daniel ambushed Parker when he was alone at a temple and kicked him in the arm, which led to a chase. The sounds of "我操你媽" rang through the air as Parker chased Daniel down the path.
That night, Parker filmed a response video with Nikki and Mauricio on the streets of Yokohama. "Daniel Teiro, you truly are the Running Man of Ho Man Tin. 你太baby了. You're lucky your Jordans didn't break my threads, man. 你跟我玩陰的嗷. You get no good fruit now. Come out and see what the lads got for you, come on, show him."
Parker stepped aside and let Nikki take the camera. "Next time you run with me, because you're not running out of this so easily."
Then Nikki stepped aside for Mauricio. "Can't put a white card on this, man, remember that." He raised his knee to the camera to show it.
Later on, Parker found Daniel Teiro in a park and kidnapped him in broad daylight. After Mauricio helped him stuff Daniel into the boot of Parker's car, they drove over to a lake and started a livestream. In the livestream, Parker threw Daniel into the lake once he got 10,000 reactions from the audience. He then threw a floatie to him and let him flail around before going in to help him out of the water. The saga ended with Parker making Daniel smell the inside of his shoe.
Between this and the next saga, Trebon voiced his disapproval with Parker and Daniel Teiro hyping the previous saga for views. "Alright, let me tell you why I don't like you both, okay, like what was that last saga? You call that fighting? You fought to a hotel, then you fought into a room and then you fought onto a bed, and then you started streaming on the bed. If you don't call that hyping then what do you call it? Today, I'm standing up to demand an explanation for the entire internet. I will find you and make you explain why you can't get fans normally without hyping." Trebon was probably referring to another video of Parker's because as far as it is known, there was no hotel room or bed seen during his beef with Daniel Teiro.
Parker made a response video, sitting on a bed with Liam, who was kind of lying on his side. "King Trebon, I understand you do have a bit of a following and your videos are quite amusing. You'd better keep your pets in check and don't come after me or humanity and we'll be alright. If I see you in the Kantō region, I'll rip that crown off your head so everyone will know if you're shaven or bald, so don't piss me off, alright? Liam, any words?"
"Listen carefully, King Trebon, alright? One rule – not the face and not the mother, alright?" Liam was referring to the gentlemen's rule of not hitting the face when fighting and not using people's mothers in insults. "You know that this is someone you don't wanna beef with, alright? Let me tell you, if you make another response, you're done, alright? No questions asked."
Parker turned the camera back on himself. "You think you're the only one who can sing and rap or whatever, hey?" He then broke into a song. "玄武盾說那斬月刀, 刀斬孟婆我渡九霄, 龍鱗劍我烈火燒, 我弄… can't even rap, man." This was a parody of the time when Trebon sang the same song at a market for a video, giving some context to this random line. After this, Parker made a couple more videos taunting Trebon, with even Daniel Teiro, who had made peace with Parker, joining in on the attack.
The next saga began after Kirralee O'Gorman from Sha Tin broke up with Alex Foley after a dating saga of their own. Hearing this, Parker, the absolute madman he was, decided to make a video proposing to her, with Liam and five guys on motorcycles behind him. "Kirralee O'Gorman, I love you! You make my heart go wild! Liam, get the roses!" Parker then got onto one knee. "Be my girlfriend, Kirralee! Marry me and I'll treat you the best! You see my entourage behind me?"
Liam piped up, "Marry him, Kirralee!"
"Marry me!" Parker added before Liam and the entourage began cheering.
Upon hearing this, Alex was unhappy that Parker decided to ask Kirralee out so soon after breaking up with her, knowing that Parker had feelings for Kirralee before Alex asked her out. Parker made a video in response.
"Alex, you broke up with Kirralee, so I'm well within my rights to ask her out. Also, as you're well aware, we've been acquaintances for a while, so Alex, I hope you can find it in you to let go. If you want to get Kirralee back, then we can have a fair competition."
At the same time, King Trebon continued his attacks on Parker, interjecting the saga. "Some people are just shameless, alright? Society's Kongming, you'd better tell me where you at, alright? Don't think I'll slap your face open, yeah?" Society's Kongming was Parker's display name on social media, not to be mistaken for the username.
Parker filmed another response video to Trebon with Mauricio sitting next to him, remaining silent. "King Trebon, I just want to make TikToks, and I also hope you and your posse are having fun despite this war in real life. I hope you don't take this any more personally than it already is, alright? At the moment I'm busy trying to ask out Kirralee, but if you wanna throw down, Trebon, then don't make me pull that crown off of your head, okay? Stop dissing me, man."
The saga between Parker, Kirralee and Alex continued. Alex tried to win Kirralee back with money but she wasn't having it. As Parker went to Sha Tin to be with Kirralee, Alex decided to call in help from two of his buddies in Sha Tin, leading Parker to make response videos with Mauricio and Liam.
Later on, Parker and Kirralee were playing games in an arcade when Alex and his buddies confronted them. Parker, Mauricio and Liam engaged in a struggle with them before the fight was moved outside. The footage of the fight was filmed at night so it was hard to determine what really happened, but apparently Parker was no match for Alex even as Kirralee tried to break up the fight. He ended up running away with Mauricio, Liam and Kirralee.
After the fight, Alex made a followup video with one of his buddies, commending him for his ability to run away and telling him that they would be looking for him again the next day. The next morning, Parker was back in Yokohama and made his followup video as well, with Angelina and someone that Alex apparently knew named Zack.
"You and your buddy don't have to keep making shit up anymore, Alex, I've gone back to Yokohama and look who I met," Parker said, referring to Zack. "You know who this guy is and what he means to you, so go try mess with him, yeah?"
"I've got two things to say to you, Alex, right? You, come to Yokohama, I'll be waiting," said Zack, clearly unaware that he said three things instead of two.
Parker continued, "This girl here is one of my heavyweights, Angelina. With us three here, ya'll better take a step back, ya hear me?"
Angelina told Parker, "Parker, you make sure you win over Kirralee, pl0x?"
"Yee boi."
Despite this however, Parker and Kirralee decided to end their relationship on good terms and remain friends, the former inviting the latter to visit him in Yokohama anytime. The Kirralee saga ended without much fanfare.
And so we come to the present day and the beginning of the third saga involving Parker as he turned his target to King Trebon, who went to Dryland with Esteban and Paul right after the battle with Turtle King Taigo's rebel faction. Upon arriving in Yokohama that morning, Parker learnt that Trebon was on his way to Yokohama too and quickly made a few response videos.
In the first video, Parker angrily beat his chest as he pointed at the camera. "I'm coming to get you, Trebon, don't you forget it! You've fucking pissed me off now. You coming to find me? I'm in Yokohama, come and get me!"
The second video saw Parker with Angelina standing in front of a brick fence somewhere that would be known on the internet as "the Main Street of Yokohama", even though it wasn't the city centre. "King Trebon, I suggest you look at those sea monsters you're leading. You think someone as inhuman or indemonic as you can get me? Don't let me see you on the Main Street of Yokohama, or I'll rip off your crown and slap you in the face!"
Angelina added, "Let me warn you, King Trebon, you come to Yokohama, you ain't getting no good fruit, you hear me?"
The third video featured Parker, Liam and Mauricio in front of a brick wall. Parker began, "So, the Salacian kings Trebon, Esteban and Paul are coming to Yokohama. Your best three boys against our best three boys. Right, Liam, show them what you've got!"
"草! 走! 忽略!" Liam went up in front of Parker and Mauricio before doing a backflip and going back.
"We're waiting for you," Parker said as the video ended.
Soon, Trebon had filmed a video with Paul and Esteban in front of the entrance to Yokohama Station. "Didn't you say you were in Yokohama, Society's Kongming? We just got off the Shinkansen and we're at Yokohama Station. I'm coming to get you, just you wait!" Trebon never got on the Shinkansen because he used Mirror World to get to Yokohama. He just said that just to provoke Parker.
Sure enough, Parker was pissed now, because he didn't expect Trebon to arrive that quickly. He went back to the brick fence on "the Main Street of Yokohama" to film a response. "啊齊邦(Trebon)你就是歌姬吧," said Parker, pointing at the camera. "Mark my words man, I'll be waiting for you right here on the Main Street of Yokohama. Liam, go get him!"
Liam went up to the camera. "You bring your boys to Yokohama, Trebon, we'll get ready for a fight!" Parker told Liam to give Trebon another backflip and he did so. "Come here and we'll throw your crowns down on the ground!"
Off to the side, Parker continued, "And you, Paul, you should really look at yourself because you and Esteban are a couple of fucking retards, yeah? Fucking Haier Brother-looking-ass motherfuckers looking like Shuke and Beita. You're fucking nothing, ya hear me?" The Haier Brothers and Shuke and Beita were characters from Chinese children's cartoons.
Mauricio interjected from the back in Spanish, "Es el hermano de hermano!"
"Yeah, what he said," Parker finished as the video ended.
Later that day, after having been unable to find Parker, Trebon made a response video. "You weren't even at the zoo today. Where are you hiding, Society's Kongming? I saw your videos. I know you're in Yokohama. Don't even need to piss you off. Tell me where you are and I'll call you or send a message and we'll decide where to throw down. Don't be a pussy now."
If you thought these sagas were exaggerated or as fake as a glass of drip-brewed ice tea, you would be wrong because with warlords like Parker, internet beef is the same as real-life beef because they don't pussyfoot around with silly things like diplomacy, saving lots of time and tension.