"Sssssso... I am getting a job?" Sir Pentious tilted his head uncertainly to the side, looking from Emily to the white-haired angel known as Gabriel- he was nice, he had been giving Pentious an 'underground tour' of Heaven by moving him from place to place. "I thought Abel said those were optional?"
"I mean, technically, yes." Emily was practically vibrating with excitement. Pentious wasn't sure why. This must have been some exciting gig. "You don't have to work. But it would be super helpful if you decide to! Port Gatory really needs a hand!"
"You just do what you think is right." Gabriel smiled at him. Pentious had to look up to see him; Gabriel was much bigger than the King of Hell. It would have been more intimidating if he wasn't just so pleasant every time they spoke. It was a bit of a culture shock, for sure. When people showed kindness in Hell, it meant they wanted something. Though, it sounded like Emily and Gabriel did want him to work. But doing some maintenance in a seaside town hardly sounded like a punishment. Abel and Molly had been right, Pentious was getting bored. It was fun having everything provided to him, being able to laze around, watch TV. But after a while, it was a little... mundane. He had genuinely enjoyed making the laundry machine with Emily. If this was anything like that, -minus the explosions, of course- he was actually excited.
"Am I being banished?" Pentious had to ask, given the last time he made something for the Archangels it had somehow resulted in an entire hotel going up in flames. That wasn't a first for him, he could be a little careless, especially in life. But he had been working on that. "Becaussse, I did not mean for my machine to-"
"It's fine." Gabriel shook his head. "Accidents happen, Cedric, we're not upset and you're not in trouble. We just needed some extra help in Port Gatory, and thought you would be a good fit. This is not mandatory."
"Hmmm..." Pentious liked Heaven, it was nice, the weather was always good, AND the food was fantastic. But on the other hand... "Do I get to go on a boat?"
"Oh absolutely!" Gabriel assured him.
"I ssssee." Pentious liked boats. He preferred air ships, but boats were still fascinating. One of his chicks chambered onto his shoulder.
"I wanna see a boat!"
"Are we gonna get sea-legs, boss?" Another chick nestled down on the back of Pentious's tail.
"Those are delicious!" A third chick peeked down at him from the brim of his hat on which the chick had settled.
"Aw, do you boysss want to sssee the ocean?" Pentious reached up, gently patting the chick on his shoulder.
"I wanna be a seagull." The chick responded helpfully. Pentious smiled. He had grown up near a busy port. He used to love watching the ships move in and out, carrying all kinds of exciting products from faraway lands he never got to see. He missed the ocean. (There was an ocean in Hell, apparently, but being a Sinner meant he couldn't access it.)
"You know what? I'll do it." Pentious looked back over at Gabriel and Emily. It might be nice to feel useful again. He had enjoyed that when he was at the Hotel with Charlie. He helped make weapons for the final battle, he participated in her little events, even if- at first- he was only doing it to give Vox information (though that was incredibly short lived) ... he had liked the feeling it gave him. It was nice to feel like he was a part of something bigger. All his life he wanted to do something, to matter, to rise above where society had pushed him, to make a difference. (For a long time, he just wanted to make his name known. But Charlie showed him how good it felt to do things that helped others. The fame gradually felt less important.)
"THIS IS GREAT!" Emily leapt forward and wrapped her arms around Pentious, giving him a tight hug. It was still a bit strange, how affectionate and warm everyone was in Heaven. When he had first seen her jumping toward him, Pentious half expected to be stabbed or strangled. But a hug was much better than either of those other two options.
"Thank you so much, this will really be a huge help to us." Gabriel added. Pentious could feel that warm feeling inside him once again. "Let me introduce you to our head of Port Gatory! He'll be looking after you for the time being." Gabriel went to the door on the other side of the room and opened it, walking back out.
"I am so excited you get to go to Port Gatory! I have always wanted to check it out but I never get to go." Emily stood beside him as they waited for Gabriel.
"Why can't you go?" Pentious tilted his head to the side. "You're a Sssseraphim, right? Don't you have full reign of Heaven?"
"Oh! Port Gatory isn't in Heaven, remember?" Emily was right, Pentious recalled Gabriel mentioning that at the beginning of the conversation. But Heaven was just so large and he still hadn't seen most of it, it was easy to forget. "It's between Heaven and Hell. It's massive from what I know, and a lot of it is unexplored."
"Am I going to have to explore it? I'm not much of a cartographer." Pentious made a face. He liked boats, he liked the ocean- just not that much.
"Oh! Goodness no!" Emily shook her head rather vigorously. "Please don't. Port Gatory is always shifting, changing, it's really easy to get lost. You'll be either in the city, or on one of the two boats. It can be really dangerous if you're in the wilds."
"Back!" Gabriel opened the door and walked back in, this time accompanied by an Angel (or maybe another Winner, Pentious couldn't really tell) with crimson, curly hair, pink skin, and a multitude of eyes on his face. He looked vaguely reminiscent of Uriel, who Pentious had stayed with briefly during Halloween. He liked Uriel, he thought she was nice, if not a little quiet. "Cedric, I would like to introduce you to Jazeerael! He is our top dog when it comes to Port Gatory!" Jazeerael looked at Pentious, then back to Gabriel, then to Pentious once again, then back once more to Gabriel.
"He's a Winner."
"I know it's a little... unorthodox, Jayce," Gabriel put a hand on the Angel's shoulder, "but we think this is a good idea."
"Souls... don't usually come back through. We already processed him. He went to..." Jazeerael pulled out a tablet as he spoke. The tablets in Heaven were far nicer than even the highest-end VoxTek model. Pentious had never seen ones so advanced before. "Huh." He squinted at his screen. "It says we sent him to Hell, but it definitely has his current designation as Heaven." He slowly looked up from his screen and back at Gabriel. "Wait... does this mean..."
"Yes." Gabriel nodded his head.
"WE HAD A PROCESSING ERROR!?" Jazeerael looked like he might faint as Gabriel and Emily hurried to him from either side.
"No, no." Gabriel quickly helped the pink angel back to his feet. "Jayce, no. You're fine. You did fine. This is a Redemption."
"Wait, really?" Jazeerael looked a bit taken aback. The eyes on his cheeks looked toward Pentious, but when Pentious looked back, they quickly switched to looking at Gabriel. "So... Adam Fell and this guy Ascended? That's... honestly quite unexpected."
"Are you going to be okay?" Gabriel still had a hand on Jazeerael's shoulder, supporting him. "You look like you're in shock."
"I am. I mean, this is good, don't get me wrong. Jezebel is always complaining about how things are overcrowded in Hell, but this is just... it's fascinating actually." Jazeerael finally turned to look back at Pentious with all of his eyes. "Did you just... rise up? How did it feel? What happened? Did you see Port Gatory?"
"I don't know what that lookssss like... but..." Pentious had to think about it. He hadn't actually been asked this before. "I wasss killed. Then I ssssaw a white light... then I was ssssudenly in your office." He pointed at Emily.
"Sera's office, actually, but I remember that it was so much fun!" Emily clapped her hands together. "With your little friends!"
"Odd that you wouldn't go to the gate, but Ascension is really rare, and your soul being destroyed at the same time you Ascended could have made things a little... wonky." Gabriel didn't sound concerned, so Pentious just assumed all was well. "I guess Charon kinda... rushed you through."
"Who?" Pentious didn't recognize the name.
"The nice ghost lady!" One of his chicks piped up.
"Not like the mean ones." Another added.
"There are a lotta ghosts here."
"Ghosts?" Emily and Gabriel glanced at one another in confusion. Pentious let out a sigh as he shook his head.
"They say insssane shit all the time. You just have to go with it."
"I mean, they speak very well all things considered." Gabriel smiled offering his finger forward. One of Pentious's chicks waddled from his hat, flapping its little wings to hop onto the offered finger. "I bet Charon does look like a spooky ghost." He pulled out his own high-end tablet and showed the screen to the chick. "Is this your nice ghost?"
"Yeah!" The chick nuzzled against the thin, bright screen where there was an image of a ghostly looking angel all in white with eyes and lips as black as a starless night. There was a sense of familiarity in her that Pentious couldn't place.
"I have never ssseen that woman before." The Sinner-turned-Winner looked from the screen to Gabriel.
"That's Lady Death, Charon, she's great! Super sweet, a wonderful painter. You probably have seen her, but you don't remember. Which is expected. She really should have taken you to the gates, rather than just dropping you off in Sera's office, but there was a lot going on during that time." Gabriel gave a small shrug. "You'll have a chance to meet her again in Port Gatory! She lives there! But You'll mostly be working with Jazeerael!" He gestured to the pink angel beside him. "He's Heaven's sort of... liaison in Port Gatory. Jezebel is Hell's representative. You'll be helping her as well, she's a delight!"
"Helping... kill her?" Pentious squinted at the Archangel before him. Heaven liked to kill Hellions, that much he knew.
"No. Do not do that. Jezebel is a respected member of Port Gatory and she does good work." Gabriel replied rather quickly.
"I thought you hated Hell. That'sss why I have to keep being a Sssinner a sssecret." Pentious was starting to get some mixed signals from Heaven.
"We don't hate Hell. We don't hate anything. That's such a strong word anyway. Hell is a natural part of the Afterlife, just like Heaven is. It serves a purpose." As Gabriel spoke, both Emily and the Angel called Jazeerael nodded. Pentious would admit, that wasn't the answer he was expecting. "Plus, our brother works there! Makes it very hard to hate."
"You mean the King? Yesss, I remember sssseeing him before my beautiful invention exploded." Pentious nodded.
"No. That was Michael." Gabriel shook his head quickly. "Your King has a twin brother, that was who you met at the Hotel."
"Riiiiiiight." Pentious winked at Gabriel. "Twin brother. Gotchya." The eyes in the halos above Gabriel's head squinted at him.
"Yes. Twin brother. Well, sort of. Not twins in the traditional sense, because Angels aren't born, they're made. But they have the same template so to speak. They used to look even more alike before Fall."
"Of courssse. 'Michael'." Pentious made little air quotes with his fingers. Gabriel continued to shake his head.
"No, no air quotes. That was Michael."
"That really was Michael," Emily put a hand on Pentious's shoulder, patting it gently. "Lucifer isn't allowed in Heaven."
"Eh, he can technically come for meetings, but he doesn't. Or... won't." Gabriel corrected. Pentious swore he saw the eyes in the halos rolling in exasperation. "Anyway, Port Gatory is where your headed and that territory is neutral ground. No Sinners, no Winners, only souls. So, you are going to go back to looking like you did the first time you were there."
"I have not been there before." Pentious interrupted, his hand raised. The chick on Gabriel's finger looked back at him.
"They have good food."
"You have been there, you just... don't remember. Once you reach your final destination, you forget. It's part of being human." Gabriel assured him.
"Oh." Pentious was a little disappointed. "So will I forget everything from this too?" That would be frustrating and confusing if he did.
"Goodness, no. You are going as an employee, not as a soul for processing!" Gabriel assured him quickly. "You will remember any and everything you do! As..." his face faltered briefly from its usual cheer. "As long as your careful."
"Careful?" Pentious narrowed his eyes.
"Here," Gabriel took a golden ring off his own finger offering it toward Pentious. Emily's eyes widened; she covered her mouth.
"You're giving him yours?"
"Sir," Jazeerael looked just as shocked. Pentious was shocked too. He hadn't gotten Gabriel any sort of gift. (Unless they were now married, he wasn't familiar with Heaven's customs. He wasn't sure he was ready to be married to Gabriel. Sure, he was nice and everything, but Pentious was still holding out hope that he would see Cherri again. It might be awkward if she came to Heaven and he had married an Archangel.) "You can't. You need that."
"It's precautionary at best. I'm an Archangel unless I am planning to stay in Port Gatory for a hundred years, I really don't need it." Gabriel held the ring toward Pentious. "Take this." Pentious looked at the ring, then back up at the angel holding it.
"I'm not ready for marriage."
"That's... um..." Gabriel also looked at the ring, then back at Pentious. "That's nice. But this is a magic ring."
"Will it magically make me ready for commitment?" Pentious still didn't take the ring. He wasn't ready for this big step.
"No, it'll protect you from the side effects of Port Gatory." Gabriel was maintaining eye contact with his face, but the eyes in the halos squinted at the ring, before looking back at Pentious. "I'm... I'm not proposing. I am just letting you borrow a magic ring."
"Sssso... no marriage?" Pentious felt relief wash over him. He still had a chance with Cherri after all! Gabriel very quickly held up his free hand.
"Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. You misunderstood. I just wanted you to be safe."
"Most people just use condomsss." Pentious replied flatly.
"Safe in Port Gatory, this has nothing to do with sex." Gabriel's reply was flat. "Souls are not meant to stay in Port Gatory long-term. So, those that live there wear very special rings that protect them from the magic of the area. It's very important to keep this on at all times. Otherwise, there might not be enough of you left to come back to Heaven."
"The fuck doesss that mean?" Pentious was less thrilled about this trip to the port if it meant he might not make it back in one piece.
"It means to keep the ring on, and you'll be fine." Jazeerael held up his own hand to show a similar golden ring.
"I sssee." Pentious finally took the ring, sliding over his slender, clawed finger. His tail flopped from one side to the other as he examined it.
"We do appreciate you helping us out like this." Gabriel put a hand on his shoulder and that warm feeling of joy flowed through him again. The Princess was right about how helping people could really make you happier.
"Yesss, well, we'll do our bessst." He looked at the ring again. "D... do my chick boisss need rings?" He squinted at their little golden wings. It would be pretty difficult to get a ring to stay on, permanently.
"Well, they're not human souls so it's a little different." Gabriel patted the chick still sitting comfortably on his finger. "They will have to stay on the boat. Taking them around Port Gatory proper won't be great, the fact that they can talk might spook the souls a little bit, and that would cause a whole kerfuffle that we could avoid by keeping them in the boats. Or I guess in Jazeerael or Jezebel's respective houses. Anywhere where they aren't front-facing."
"I like talking." The chick replied happily.
"I know you do, little buddy." Gabriel replied with a warm, affectionate little smile. "That's why you can stay on the Heaven Ferry. Or the Hell Liner. Technically you could go on either boat and still be able to speak without freaking anyone out."
"We can be delicious eggs again." The chick on Pentious's tail decided to contribute to the conversation.
"I wanna be scrambled." The chick on his shoulder added.
"I wanna be hard boiled!" The chick on Gabriel's finger agreed, much to the obvious concern of the Archangel.
"I don't want any of you to get cooked!"
"They say weird shit like that all the time." Pentious assure him. "You jussst accept it and move on.
"Heaven is full of ghosts." As if proving a point, the chick on his shoulder decided to spout off some of his trademark random nonsense.
"I mean, I guess the Winners are a kind of ghost." Jazeerael gave a shrug. "If you are using a very basic definition of the word."
"You have a point!" Emily nodded. Pentious sighed, pinching the bridge of skin between his eyes.
"Don't humor them."
"On that note!" Gabriel put the hand that the chick was not resting on, onto his hip. "Who is ready to head to Port Gatory!? Jazeerael will show you all the ropes but I can at least walk you to the boat!" He looked down at Pentious. "What do you say? Are you ready!?"
"Hmmm," Pentious looked at the ring on his finger. He wasn't entirely sold on this whole... magic Port scenario, but Emily seemed to think it was a good idea, and Emily reminded him of Charlie in all the best ways. Plus, he was a bit bored of being cooped up inside. Charlie was always talking about getting out there and making a difference. Here he was, proof that her batshit crazy plan could actually work... he should be doing more to help. It would prove that he deserves his spot in Heaven, and it would be what Charlie would want. It was... the right thing to do. "Very well."
"Wonderful!" Gabriel held out his hand so the chick on his finger could jump back onto Pentious hat.
"This is going to be great!" Emily jumped up and hugged Pentious tightly, once again careful not to disturb any of the chicks. "You have to text me every day let me know how it's going! And send pictures! Lots of pictures!"
"I had no idea you were so interested in Port Gatory." Jazeerael sounded surprised by Emily's excitement.
"Are you kidding? It is so fascinating! You get to meet so many souls! Not just Winners but Sinners too!" Emily looked back at Pentious, still smiling. "I won't lie! I'm a little jealous! I have always wanted to go!"
"And you will go! It's basic Seraphim training to go to Port Gatory and learn the layout and the inner workings of soul processing." Gabriel assured her as he opened the door to Pentious's room once again. Pentious blinked. Rather than the hallway with the nice blue carpeting, he saw clouds, as far as they eye could see, a marble pier accented with gold, and a quaint and lovely ferry boat adorned with soft little lights.
"We haven't seen many Seraphim recently." Jazeerael gave a shrug as he followed Gabriel out of the door and onto the pier. No one seemed shocked by the fact that there was an entire fucking pier where a hallway should have been, so Pentious tried to act like this was not a concerning fact.
"We haven't really been making new angels, and you know promotions usually take a while..." Gabriel reached over, ruffling Emily's hair, somehow managing not to bump into her halo. (Pentious had a lot of questions regarding the halo, since his seemed to raise and lower depending on whether or not he was currently wearing his hat.) "Emily's just special."
"Awww!" Emily's wings fluttered as Pentious finally slithered his way onto the pier. It felt solid, though it didn't seem to have any real structure supporting it. Around them, the clouds moved like water. He followed Gabriel, Emily, and Jazeerael as they walked toward the quaint looking ferry. It was nice, nothing spectacular or eye-catching, but it looked like it would give you a nice little boat ride. "That's the boat that most Winners take to Heaven." Emily returned her focus to Pentious as she saw him staring. "You'll finally have a chance to ride it!"
"It'sss nice." Pentious wasn't sure what he was supposed to say, but that response seemed to please Emily.
"We'll have to part ways here." Gabriel stopped at the edge of the dock. "You're in great hands with Jazeerael, but if you ever need anything you can call me directly from your phone! You already have my number." That was true. Gabriel had given Pentious his number shortly after Pentious had nearly evaporated them all in the laundry accident. (He was just glad Gabriel wasn't mad.) "Feel free to call me at any point. I'm here to help you."
"Me too!" Emily assured him, grabbing one of Pentious's hands in both of hers. "You can call me anytime!" She squeezed his hand gently. "And don't forget to send lots and lots of photos!"
"I'm coming back... right?" Pentious probably should have led with that question, but there seemed to be a strange degree of finality in this goodbye. (He hadn't really packed, not that he had a whole lot.)
"Of course!" Gabriel assured him quickly. "This is only temporary, Cedric. We're just having you help out until we can get something a little more permanent for Port Gatory. And you can also just... take the boat back whenever you want. But if you do that, please let Emily or myself know so we can greet you."
"Very good." Pentious felt as if he still had much more of Heaven to explore. He still wanted to go to that theme park. Some of those rides looked genuinely fun. "Then... I sssuppose that I will sssee you all later!"
"We're going on an adventure!" The chick sitting in his hat threw his fluffy golden wings up in the air in celebration.
"You sure are!" Emily reached over to pat the chick on the head. "You take good care of each other! And listen to Jazeerael!"
"Thank you for giving us some help." Jazeerael bowed to Gabriel. Pentious wasn't sure if he should be bowing too.
"Thank you for everything you do." Gabriel smiled in response. "And please, take good care of Cedric."
"Of course, he is a human soul and it is my job to protect them." Jazeerael gestured for Pentious to follow him. "This way."
"Goodbye!" Pentious gave one last wave to Emily and Gabriel before following Jazeerael inside of the Ferry. The inside was just as quaint as the outside. The lighting was warm, relaxing, Jazeerael gestured to a seat and Pentious found the chair to be the perfect amount of softness. "Ssso, now what?" He looked up at the angel before him.
"Now, we head to Port Gatory. I will show you around, introduce you to everyone. Or everyone who is around so... Jezebel. She's Hell's representative."
"Isss she nice?"
"Depends on her mood." Jazeerael sat in the seat across from him, he laced his fingers together, his foot was tapping on the floor. Pentious felt a gentle shifting from the boat and he realized they had already set sail. The door opened, Pentious was surprised to see a human-looking gentleman in a uniform walk into the room where they were sitting. The outfit resembled Jazeerael's, professional, but plain. (Though Jazeerael's uniform seemed to have some designation of rank emblazoned on the sleeves.)
"Captain, I am surprised to see you taking the Ferry." The gentleman approached them, giving a salute to Jazeerael. "And you have a soul with you."
"He's authorized to be here." Jazeerael nodded to Pentious. "Show him the ring." Pentious wasn't really sure what was happening. He thought the whole reason he had to go to this port was because there was no one there. But Pentious held up his hand with the ring on it, and the man nodded.
"Very well, welcome aboard! Can I get you something to eat or drink?"
"Do you have vodka?" One of the chicks asked.
"Don't give them vodka. We're fine." Pentious quickly turned down the request. The last thing he needed was to be stuck on a boat with a bunch of wasted birds. "Maybe some water, though, if it's not too expensive." He hadn't earned any Heaven Bucks yet, despite the fact that Emily insisted those were unnecessary.
"It's complimentary. Anything else?" He looked at Jazeerael.
"No, I'm fine."
"Very well." The man took his leave. Pentious watched him go before turning to look back at the pink angel before him.
"Who the fuck isss that?"
"He works on the boat." Jazeerael replied.
"I thought I wasss going to be the one working on the boat."
"He's not an engineer, he's a server."
"Doesss he have a special ring?"
"No, he doesn't need one. He's not..." Jazeerael trailed off for a moment, clearly trying to come up with the right words to explain who the man was. "He's not... a real person."
"I'm hallucinating?" Pentious was taken aback by the response. This was pretty mundane for a hallucination.
"Don't worry, Boss, I saw him too." He felt a wing gently pat his face as one of his chicks tried to console him.
"No, you're fine, I promise. So long as you have that ring on you at least. He's not a hallucination. He's really there but he isn't alive."
"Neither am I." Pentious tilted his head to the side.
"Right, but you are a human. You were alive, then you died. He is more like a... robot? Or a puppet?" As Jazeerael explained, the man came back in with a tray. There was a pitcher of water and a glass, as well as three small bowls. "He's just a convincing copy of a human, the public-facing ones usually are. It's the ones who work in the back that are... noticeable." The man brought the tray over to their table.
"You're ssseriously going to say that shit right in front of him?" Pentious thought Angels were supposed to be nice.
"I'm not saying anything he doesn't already know about himself. He's not going to get mad." Jazeerael tried to assure him.
"It is true, I am incapable of getting upset. I brought your water, and some for your friends." The gentleman placed the tiny bowls on the table beside the glass. He took the pitcher, pouring the glass first, then pouring some into each of the bowls.
"Don't sssay that about yourself." Pentious took the offered glass as the chicks chambered over him to reach the little bowls. "What'sss your name?"
"Erik." The gentleman smiled.
"Oh! I usssed to have a friend named Erik! Do you ssspell it with a C or a K?"
"K."
"No way! Ssso did my Erik!"
"That's intentional." Jazeerael seemed unimpressed by the fun coincidence that was happening right in front of them. "They often pick familiar sounding names to make you feel more at home. That's only his name on this trip."
"Don't talk about Erik like that." Pentious was offended on his fellow employee's behalf. This was no way for his boss to talk about their coworkers. "You will hurt his feelingsss! Sssorry about him." Pentious turned back to Erik.
"We love Erik!" His chicks piped up, being their typical, supportive little selves. Erik seemed unphased by the entire conversation.
"It's really fine. I do not have feelings that can be hurt."
"I promise you, he's fine." Jazeerael insisted. "Thank you by the way." He nodded to Erik who picked up his tray, turning to go.
"Enjoy your trip. If you need anything, please ask."
"Erik is nice." Pentious watched him take his leave. "Even if you were being a bit of an asssss to him."
"I wasn't, I was simply explaining what a vast majority of the employees in Port Gatory are. But okay." Jazeerael gave a heavy sigh. "That being said, I'm going to lay down the basic rules. Rule number one: No weapons. The employees will see you as a threat if you have one and they will attack. Rule number two: Stay in the city limits. It's a big city, there's plenty of areas you can explore safely, but if you wander away, we can no longer guarantee your safety. Rule number three: DON'T talk about the true nature of the boats to anyone. Dying is shocking. A majority of souls don't know they are dead. They just stay in Port Gatory until they are assigned a ticket, then they go to their final destination. The boats are just normal, everyday boats. Understand?"
"What if people get on the wrong boat?" Pentious wouldn't lie, he was a little curious about this mysterious realm between Heaven and Hell.
"They literally can't. Wrong boats are not a problem it's getting off the boats that's the main issue. Whether by will or by force- I used to be in charge of monitoring the souls during transport. But not anymore. Now I just get to worry about the souls who never get on in the first place. But I have been assured the automated staff have everything under control during the trips. Even though that's not what they were built for, but what the heck do I know? I have only been working this job since the death of Abel."
"You're practically an intern." One of Pentious's little chicks spoke up from his spot on the table beside the water bowl.
"What if people don't want to go to Hell. I don't know if you have been there," Pentious took a sip from his glass. The water tasted crisp, clean, and cold. "But Hell fucking sssucks."
"I have been there, fun fact, a few times." Jazeerael replied honestly. "Though only with Jezebel, and never to the Pride Ring. But I know things there aren't exactly... great. The thing is: Souls don't know that's where they're going. Remember rule number 3? Those are just normal boats."
"Oh yessss." Pentious did remember that rule. living here would definitely take some getting used to.
"I am going to check on the boat while we're still on our way." Jazeerael got to his feet. "If you don't mind, that is."
"Sssure." Pentious wouldn't mind a moment of peace to process his rather crazy day. Jazeerael nodded to him and headed back out onto the boat. Pentious took his time, slithering around the room to take a good look around. It looked like some sort of dining area. There were arrays of small tables and chairs overlooking windows displaying a beautiful ocean landscape. The clouds were now solidly above them. Pentious sat back down, relaxing into his chair. When he closed his eyes, the smooth movement of the boat almost felt like he was flying.
At some point, he must have dozed off. Pentious awoke to see his chicks nestled into his tail, still fast asleep. Carefully, Pentious uncurled his tail and replaced it with a collection of cloth napkins from the table, keeping the chicks surrounded like a little nest. He figured he should let them keep sleeping while he got more acquainted with the ship. This one seemed to be in great condition; he wasn't really sure what maintenance they needed. He saw Jazeerael through the window, staring out over the water. He supposed he could ask more of his boat-related questions to him. He opened the door and the outside air struck him. It was so clean, fresh- reminiscent of Heaven, but the air was a little colder.
"Wait!" Jazeerael turned his head as he heard the door open. "Don't come outside just-" Pentious fell immediately on his face. "...yet. Oops." Jazeerael came running over to help him up. "Are you okay!?"
"Yes, I'm fine, but..." Pentious trailed off. His tongue felt different in his mouth, his tail... he turned to look down to see a pair of legs in black pants with yellow pinstripes where his tail had once been. "My legs! My mouth!" No longer was the forked tongue flicking past fanged teeth to draw out the 's' sound.
"Sorry, I tried to warn you...we got close to Port Gatory so you have reverted back into your original form." Jazeerael helped him get slowly to his feet. Pentious had not had actual legs in some time. It felt... strange? It wasn't necessarily a bad feeling, but he was definitely struggling to remember how to use them.
"Why are you still pink?" Pentious narrowed his eyes at the still clearly angelic form of Jazeerael helping him up.
"I'm not a human." As Jazeerael spoke, he shifted into a human form. The halo and wings vanished, the pink skin turned pale, and the extra eyes faded into simple freckles dusting his cheeks. "I have to actively transform."
"I haven't had legs in forever." Pentious couldn't remember the last time he had walked anywhere.
"Sorry, I should have warned you. Here, let me give you a hand..." Jazeerael helped Pentious as he got the hang of using legs once again. It was strange. His long black hair had returned, he no longer had his fangs. Even his top hat was just a normal hat. He hadn't felt like this since he was walking around back on Earth. The memories were all flooding back. He hadn't really sat and reflected on his life much since dying. (He had bigger things to worry about in Hell like: not being murdered or swindled, or both.)
"Why are you not still checking the ship?" Pentious wasn't sure how long he had been sleeping, but he figured whatever Jazeerael was doing took a great deal of time. Jazeerael let out a sigh.
"I got kicked out of the bridge for trying to steer."
"But aren't you the captain?" Pentious had never served in any type of navy, but he knew a bit about the sea from having lived near a port for a great deal of his life. (He told himself one day he would take one of those ships to a new life, but his death came before he ever saw that chance.)
"Well... yes. Kind of." Jazeerael's shoulders drooped. "In name only. It's all automated now. Though after what happened on the Hell Liner, who knows how many functional staff we actually have. Apparently enough so that I don't have to be on the ship every trip."
"You like your job?"
"I do. It's important and I take it very seriously. I've been doing it since the Fall. People think it's lonely, but it's actually fascinating. I meet so many souls who have done such incredible things in their short lives. It's the most fulfilling job. I would do anything for Port Gatory. In fact, I took a few shifts on the Hell Liner, just so we could keep things running. It was... awful, I am NOT cut out for what Jezebel does all day. But it was necessary. We have far more staff for Heaven than Hell does. Though... we really haven't gotten anyone new in about..." Jazeerael had to think about it for a moment. "Three hundred years? Give or take." Pentious took a few careful steps forward so he could hold onto the railing, looking at the ocean below him.
"Do you have more because Heaven just doesn't give a shit about Hell?"
"No! That's not it at all!"
"You know they used to fly down and kill us, right?"
"You know, I actually only just learned that this year. But no, the automated staff are created by the institution for which they work. So, Heaven creates the staff for the Heaven Ferry and about half the city staff, and Hell creates the Hell Liner employees, as well as the other half of the city workers."
"Why doesn't Heaven just make everything?" Pentious felt like things were just far more organized in Heaven, though he supposed his perspective was a little biased since he had been hanging around a Seraphim and an Archangel. They seemed to be the top of the ladder when it came to rank.
"Because Port Gatory is neutral territory and that would come across as a takeover in Hell's eyes."
"Hmmm, that makes sense." Pentious let silence fall for a moment as he took in the view of the water rushing by. He could feel the wind licking his cheek, tossing his hair about as he folded his arms looking down at the water below. It was so clear, so... blue he swore he could see all the way to the bottom.
"Careful." Jazeerael's voice snapped Pentious out of his thoughts. He could feel a hand holding to his collar, pulling him back. Pentious hadn't even realized how far he was leaning over the railing. His heels lowered until they were, once again, flat on the deck. "The water is incredibly dangerous."
"Sharks?" Pentious wasn't sure if this was saltwater or freshwater, but if the shark was a ghost, he supposed it didn't matter. (And Pentious had no desire to run into a ghost shark.)
"I mean... not necessarily sharks but there are lots of things that exist in the water that pose a danger to souls. The creatures can make you sick just by touching you, and they take great pleasure in dragging souls into the water."
"Oh, fuck that!" Pentious stumbled back as he tried to move away from the edge as quickly as possible.
"No, it's fine. I didn't mean for that to scare you. I was just trying to explain why you need to be careful. Port Gatory is dangerous, especially when you're outside the city limits. But don't worry, they rarely attack the boats."
"So, what happened to the Hell Liner?" Pentious narrowed his eyes suspiciously at his new boss.
"They... attacked the boat. But that was one time!"
"Was I sent here to die?" That was a disappointing realization, as Pentious had really thought Emily and Gabriel had his best interests at heart. But perhaps he had misread them. It was hard to be a good judge of character when it came to Heaven. In Hell, everyone had bad intentions so it was safe to just assume the worst. But Upstairs... things were more complicated.
"You're going to be fine. You're with me. I'm a Port Gatory expert, and I promise I'm not going to let anything happen to you." Jazeerael seemed trustworthy. (And at this point, Pentious didn't really have a whole hell of a lot of choice.) So, he nodded his head, slowly.
"And what about my boys?"
"They'll be fine too, so long as they stay in the boat. You don't want them running amok in the city. They could easily get lost; it's a big place. Also, if they start talking it's really going to scare the souls."
"Are they going to recognize me...? Like this I mean?" Pentious gestured to himself. His human tongue still felt strange in his mouth. He felt a bit like he was over-pronouncing his words.
"Of course they will. They've seen you like that before, when you were alive. So, I doubt it will be a problem."
"They... did?" Pentious had been hearing over and over again that his minions were not human. Lucifer had said it when he was pretending to be his alter ego, Michael. Gabriel had said it, and he was fairly certain Jazeerael had been heavily implying it in every conversation.
"You... don't know who they are, do you?" Jazeerael must have seen the confusion in his face.
"I'll be perfectly honest; I thought they were just really weird Sinners that liked taking orders."
"Think back, back to when you were alive." Jazeerael started to walk toward the door to the little café on the boat where they had just left. "You did a lot of bad things; you told a lot of lies; you hurt people with your carelessness; you stole, you committed fraud, you cheated... but you also cared. Not so much about people... but..." He opened the door. The chicks were all awake standing in the doorway.
"Boss! Where'd ya go?"
"We missed you, Boss!"
"We thought the water monsters were gonna eat ya!" As the little chicks stepped onto the deck, their golden feathers turned white. They became more rotund as they aged into full sized chickens.
The memories hit all at once. If Pentious was still alive, he might have felt his heart stop with the force of everything coming back.
When he was still living, he had resided in a rundown shit hole of a building. One of his neighbors had livestock on the roof. Roosters. Pentious noticed the birds never seemed to be cared for, he doubted that ass hat who owned them even remembered they existed half the time. He was probably only interested in the hens. So, he had taken it upon himself. He would feed them, clean their coop. He even started making improvements to it as the winter would come and set in. He made sure the roosters were warm, were safe. During one particularly awful winter storm, he had even taken them inside his own home just to be sure they wouldn't freeze.
Cedric Penhurst had never been a good man. He was a con man, a snake oil salesman, and a mad scientist.
But he had always had a soft spot for animals.
"What the fuck did these chickens do to end up in Hell!?" Pentious had to ask to stop himself from tearing up as he realized those chickens he had cared for all those years ago, were still with him, even in death.
"Nothing." Jazeerael looked like he wanted to laugh at the question, but cleared his throat instead. "Animals predominantly just go to Heaven due to their pure hearts. The only ones that are in Hell are all there for the same reason: they wanted to be with their humans."
"Oh..." Pentious knelt down as the three roosters waddled up to him. "You... went to Hell for me?" He opened his arms wide, taking the three chickens into a tight embrace. He had no idea.
"I also committed arson." One of the roosters added helpfully.
"He didn't do that." Jazeerael spoke up quickly.
"I don't care if you did or not." Pentious buried his head in the feathers, hugging them tightly. "I'm just happy to see you."
It was a good feeling, seeing his little henchmen in their original form. (Though, he felt a bit bad about how he had endangered them over the years in Hell, but they didn't seem to mind. They were here now, and that's what mattered.) He spent the rest of the boat ride sitting with his roosters, fluffing their feathers and enjoying the fresh seaside air. There was a small part of him that was starting to feel like he was alive again, back at home before the explosion had taken his life.
The boat came to a stop. Pentious looked up to see they had arrived at a rather bustling port. There were humans lined up, waiting politely on the side as the Ferry docked. Seeing lines that calm was still a little strange for him. Jazeerael offered a hand and helped Pentious to his feet.
"We're here! Port Gatory!"
"It's so busy..." Pentious wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't anything quite this lively. There were brightly colored shops and stands as far as the eye could see. There were people in line, and tons more just wandering around, taking in the sights.
"It is. But you'll get used to it."
"JAAAAAAYCE!" There was a loud cry from the dock as a woman with long black hair in a similar looking uniform waved frantically from the side. "WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?"
"Hang on!" Jazeerael squatted down to look at the roosters who were sitting by Pentious's feet. (It was still weird for Pentious that he HAD feet, but he would gradually get used to it.) "You three, no talking."
"Okie dokie." One of the roosters responded. Jazeerael let out a very heavy sigh, shaking his head.
"This is not going to go well."
"I'll handle it." Pentious assured him, gathering the three roosters into his arms and following Jazeerael as they disembarked from the ship onto the dock. The black-haired woman immediately ran over to them. She narrowed her dark eyes, looking Pentious up and down.
"Who's the guy with the three cocks?"
"I used to have two, act-" Pentious started to correct her but Jazeerael cut him off rather quickly.
"I don't want to be a part of wherever that conversation was going. Jezebel, this is... Pentious? Is that what you want to be called?"
"I call him bo-" One of the roosters started to speak but Pentious quickly grabbed his beak with his hand.
"Can we talk in my place?" Jazeerael lowered his voice. There were a few humans staring at the group with confused looks. Jazeerael gave them all a friendly wave. "Sorry! He's our magician. He was just practicing for his show. Apologies for any disturbances!"
"Oh, a magician that sounds fun."
"This place has everything!"
The humans seemed satisfied with the response. It was funny, Pentious didn't think angels could lie, so seeing Jazeerael make up that bit about the magician was surprising.
"Yeah, okay. Your place." The black-haired woman nodded and they started to make their way through the crowd. The city was certainly busy. Pentious was definitely going to need some sort of map to find anything in this place. Especially wherever it was that they were going now. They made so many turns and it felt like they were walking forever. The people started to thin out, and the buildings became sparser. Eventually they came upon a rather cute little house with a white picket fence. Jazeerael pulled a set of keys from his pocket and unlocked the door. "Come in," he beckoned Pentious and the woman inside. Pentious carried his roosters into the house, the woman right behind him. Once they were all inside, Jazeerael closed the door.
"Now that we're all here," the woman spoke up, clapping her hands together before pointing them both at Jazeerael. "Jayce, what the fuck?"
"Jezebel, this is Sir Pentious. He's a redeemed Winner from Heaven. He was sent here to give us a hand in Port Gatory." Jazeerael gestured to Pentious. "Pentious, this is Jezebel, she is in charge of the Hell Liner."
"Woah, woah, woah," Jezebel held up both of her hands. "Redeemed? Like... for real? Damn, I knew it was possible, but still." She looked at Pentious, patting him on the back. "Good for you, big boy."
"Thank you. I was murdered by Adam." Pentious nodded.
"Oh shit, the First Man?" Jezebel let out a snort. "I almost stole his kidney! Or, well, I was gonna, but Kingy wouldn't let me."
"Don't steal anyone's kidney, please." Jazeerael put his hand on his forehead looking a little exasperated. "We have a new employee, a human one, I don't want you teaching him bad habits."
"Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled we have any fucking help, but like... why a human? And... three roosters?" Jezebel squinted at the roosters uncertainly before simply shrugging. "No offense, babe, I'm sure you're great, but Port Gatory ain't exactly built for long-term stays, especially not for humans."
"The roosters are a package deal." Jazeerael explained. "Not sure why Heaven chose to send him in particular, but I'm willing to take anything at this point. Gabriel says this is only a trial period. So... hopefully it works."
"What about... you know... side effects?" Jezebel looked unconvinced. Pentious perked up slightly.
"Side effects?"
"He has Gabriel's ring. He's protected." Jazeerael pointed to Pentious's hand. Pentious held it up, as it seemed like that was something important. Jezebel's eyes widened as she saw the golden band.
"Oh shit." That seemed to satisfy her as she wrapped an arm around Pentious's shoulders. "Welcome aboard! I'm Jezebel, you can call me Jez, that's my human name. I'm from Hell!"
"I was in Hell until recently! It sucked!" Pentious replied enthusiastically. "This place is much better."
"Thanks. We try." Jezebel was a lot chattier than her angelic counterpart. "But if you're looking to head back, we are extremely short staffed on the Hell Liner. Can you bar tend?"
"Sort of?" Pentious was nowhere near the bartender that Husk was, but he could at least make a few drinks. "I used to be an inventor. I made this very cool laundry machine that exploded. I also made an airship. It exploded too, several times. Usually, it was because of Alastor, but the last time, the time that killed me was Adam. But I got better, so no hard feelings."
"I think the plan was to have him help work on the repairs to the Hell Liner, but I'm starting to question his track record." Jazeerael's mouth drew into a thin line, his eyes narrowed, before glancing over to meet Jezebel's gaze.
"Maybe we just start him easy. He can help Paul on the janitorial staff. You know, since Paul is still just an upper body and a head."
"He's still going by Paul? Don't the staff usually change names every trip?" Jazeerael sounded surprised. Pentious was far more concerned about the apparent absence of legs in regard to Paul but neither Jazeerael nor Jezebel seemed inclined to talk about that part. Jezebel shrugged.
"Let's just say... Paul isn't one of our top models. There's a reason he doesn't do a lot of... tasks with the public. I think if he switched names, he would just confuse himself at this point."
"Also, he has no legs." Pentious felt he should be the one to mention this point since no one else would. "Is that because of the ghost sharks?" Jazeerael had never outright denied the existence of ghost sharks, and all evidence seemed to point to that being a very real possibility.
"Something like that." Jezebel didn't exactly make him feel any better. "But he'll be fine. He just needs repairs. Thanks to Uriel, the Hell Liner is up and running but we can't take another hit like that."
"Have you taken it up with King Lucifer?" Jazeerael looked over at Jezebel, their eyes met, then both erupted into laughter.
"Why is that funny?" Pentious looked between the two in confusion as his roosters decided to make themselves comfortable on Jazeerael's rather pristine looking furniture.
"Because the King doesn't give a fuck about Port Gatory. Before this year, we hadn't seen him in about..." Jezebel's eyes cast upward as she tried to recollect. "Maybe... fifty years? Give or take ten. Now he's been twice. In one year. Pretty sure that's a sign of the fucking Apocalypse or some shit."
"I mean... we could ask." Jazeerael looked amused by the suggestion. "All four horsemen have houses out here."
"I doubt they would tell us. And even if they could, I don't wanna know. I'm happy to live out the end of days here, where it's safe." Jezebel gave a small shrug.
"Will I get to see the King?" Pentious had met him once, at one of Charlie's parties. He seemed nice enough. He definitely hated Alastor and that gave him massive bonus points as far as Pentious was concerned.
"He's probably not coming back for another hundred years easy. We might see the Princess but even that's a hard maybe." Jezebel didn't sound convinced of her own words. "She was here not that long ago."
"Charlie comes here!?" Pentious immediately perked up. He had been wanting to talk to her, to tell her that he was all right- better than all right- he was Redeemed. But his old VoxTek had been destroyed when Adam killed him and didn't seem to carry over into Heaven. He had a phone that Gabriel had gotten for him, but he didn't know how to dial to Hell- he doubted it could call Hell directly.
"Only with her dad, so, not a lot. Though last time she brought her feisty little girlfriend instead. I liked her. Still, I wouldn't get my hopes up about seeing any of Hell's royalty. When they do visit, it isn't often, and they don't come to see us. They come for all of Port Gatory's wonderful amenities, to which you, my fine human friend, have access~" Jezebel put an arm around his shoulders, making a large, dramatic gesture with her other hand.
"Amenities?" Pentious repeated the word. This was the first time they had mentioned anything other than that there were boats and that Port Gatory was dangerous.
"Oh, fuck yeah. We may be the forgotten, neglected children of Heaven and Hell, but we got some sweet ass perks." Jezebel pulled him close. "For one thing, there is money here, but it's entirely meaningless. So, you can just go to our ATM and draw out as much as you want and buy anything. I have like fifteen diamond necklaces from the jewelry store. I look great in all of them."
"Do I have an account?" Pentious wouldn't lie the idea if infinite money was starting to sell him on this career path.
"You will. I just have to finish setting everything up." Jazeerael assured him. "The food and drinks here are really good, I highly recommend any of our restaurants. There are guides if you ever feel overwhelmed."
"You'll love it here once you get used to it. Promise." Jezebel gave him a little wink. "As will your little feathery friends~"
"I like this couch!" As if on cue, one of the roosters spoke up excitedly. That, of course, got the others talking.
"I like the nice demon lady!"
"I wanna go in the water!"
"No, no you don't." Jazeerael quickly corrected the last rooster. "We can do a whole, big tour, get you oriented-"
"Before we do that," Jezebel released Pentious and instead grabbed onto Jazeerael. "We have a problem."
"Of course we do," Jazeerael's body language instantly switched into exasperation. "Why wouldn't we?"
"It's probably nothing, but one of the store owners is..." she let out a small sigh, "well... sort of, kind of... missing."
"Missing? They don't even leave the stores. Where could they have gone?" Jazeerael took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm himself. "It's fine, maybe they just went to help one of the souls and haven't made it back yet." Pentious looked between the two.
"Do you want me to help?"
"It's your first day, you've had a really long ride here. Why don't you stay here, help yourself to anything in my fridge or pantry." Jazeerael shook his head. "Jezebel and I will look into this first, then we can give you an actual, formal orientation. I am really sorry about this, I know it's your first day."
"Welcome to Port Gatory, sucker! Where nothing ever fucking goes like it should! It's too late to back out now!" Jezebel clapped her hands together loudly.
"Yaaaaaay!" Pentious's little flock of roosters began cheering, feeding off of her forced enthusiasm.
"He can leave whenever he wants, actually." Jazeerael replied flatly. "I promise you, it's actually great here. Oh, and feel free to watch TV. We have channels from Heaven and Hell. It's awesome"
"I am literally counting down the days until Hell airs Muppet Murders. They showed a teaser for it and it looks fucking awesome. I'm having a watch party, you should come!" Jezebel was already heading toward the door, dragging Jazeerael behind her.
"I wanna murder a muppet!" One of the roosters spoke up. Jezebel shot finger guns in the rooster's direction, giving him a wink.
"Never give up on your dreams, kid."
"We'll be right back. Please, feel free to make yourself at home until then!" Jazeerael was straightening his hat, one foot already out of the door.
"Bye Pentious~" Jezebel gave one last wave, and with that, the two captains both headed out of the door. Pentious wasn't too upset at having some time to unwind. Jazeerael was right, that he had already had quite the eventful day. (And he was still getting accustomed to having legs again, so he really didn't think he would be all that helpful finding a missing person- especially if he had to run.)
So, he sat on Jazeerael's rather comfortable couch, with his birds cuddled up against him and flipped on the TV. There were a few shows in Heaven he enjoyed, but in truth, he had missed some of Hell's trash TV. He gathered some snacks from Jazeerael's pantry and flipped the TV channel over to watch The Extreme as Fuck Drone Flying Race.
He was midway through season six, when he stood to get more snacks. He stopped, looking at the birds cuddled on the couch and took a moment to count.
Hmm
One short.
"Where's the last one of you?" Pentious asked as he filled the bowl with chips. He had already devoured one massive bowl, and he was hungry enough for a second one. The roosters looked at him blankly for a moment.
"He left."
"Left?"
"Yeah, he went outside." One of their fluffy white wings pointed toward an open window. Fuck. Why would Jazeerael just leave his window open? That was asking for a break-in (or, in this case, a break-out).
"Why didn't you tell me!?"
"We didn't wanna interrupt the show!" It was hard to read the expressions of birds, but they seemed honest.
"I'm going to go get him." Pentious, first, went and closed the window. "You two stay put and tell me who wins."
"Yes boss!" They did their best to salute with their chubby little bodies and small wings. Pentious wasn't happy about possibly missing the finale, but his former minions came first! They went to Hell for him, he could miss a show to assure they were safe.
"I will be right back." Pentious closed the door behind him, going out into the yard. It wasn't as if his feathered friend could get very far with those short legs. He checked the yard, but the fence had been nudged open. Just great.
Pentious wandered the street, looking up and down for any sign of his little buddy. There were very few souls out this way. So, he didn't have a lot of opportunity to ask for help. He widened his search area, certainly a fucking rooster couldn't have wandered too far off.
He eventually stumbled upon a few souls who seemed to just be exploring the area. There was an elderly woman with snowy white hair, being assisted by a younger man with dyed green dreadlocks, and a young woman with her hair dyed blue and styled short. The elderly woman was kneeling down to look at his little rooster sitting in the middle of the group. "Aren't you just the sweetest little thing. I had a fella just like you on my farm."
"I never got to see a chicken before..." the man looked rather amused by the rooster waddling happily in the middle, soaking up the attention.
"It's a rooster the younger woman corrected.
"Actually, It's Frank!" The rooster piped up. All three of the souls jumped back. Pentious immediately ran forward. (As best as he could with legs rather than a tail. He only stumbled a little as he came to a stop).
"Sorry! It's a toy!" Pentious wasn't sure the magician excuse would work when he was so far away. "My toy."
"It is so lifelike." The elderly woman looked impressed. "Did you buy him here? I would love to find that shop." This was not how Pentious wanted his first day to go. His heart was pounding, despite being dead, and there was a faint ringing in his ears from the stress. He didn't want to get fired before he even had a chance to decide if he liked it here! And what if they kicked him out of Heaven for fucking up so badly!?
"No," Pentious tried to be quick on his feet, "I brought it with me from home!" He hurriedly lifted the rooster off the ground."
"I escaped!" The rooster's little legs kicked excitedly as he was lifted into the air. Pentious let out a nervous laugh.
"That you did!"
"Do you have more than one?" The woman with the blue hair spoke up. (It seemed the toy excuse had been accepted. It was as shocking as it was relieving.)
"Oh," Pentious nodded, "yes, why?"
"We saw something running off that way." The woman pointed further down the road. "It's why we all came out this way."
"We didn't get a good look." The man helped the elderly woman back to her feet. "But you might have more than one toy on the loose."
"Did you let anyone else out!?" Pentious hissed at the rooster tucked underneath his arm, earning him strange looks from the humans.
"I can't be stopped!" The rooster wiggled in his arms. Pentious let out a heavy sigh. That was probably as much of an answer as he was going to get.
"Thank you for keeping an eye on my toy. I'm going to go get the other ones."
"Do you need any help?" The man offered.
"No, no, I'm quite all right. You all head back." Pentious waved them away. He would feel a whole lot better when the humans were gone. The souls looked at one another, before the woman with the blue hair shrugged.
"Suit yourself."
"Thank you for sharing your darling toy with us." The elderly woman smiled before the souls headed back toward the main city. Pentious was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief. He kept his bird- apparently called Frank (had he come up with that name? Or did his birds name themselves?)- under his arm and headed into the direction where the souls had seen another one of his escapees. How had they gotten out nevertheless this far. Pentious had closed the window and the door when he left.
"Are we going to see my friend?" Frank asked excitedly.
"We are going to bring everyone back home." Pentious didn't want to explain all of this to Jazeerael. He was hoping to have everyone back in the house before the two captains made it back from finding the missing store owner.
"Hurray!" Frank tried to flap his wings, but Pentious had him firmly in place. They continued down the street until eventually the pavement became less and less solid. Grass was growing in between the stones; the buildings had stopped popping up and Pentious had a feeling he was getting toward the city's edge.
"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" The grass was getting taller, trees replaced the buildings as he continued along in the direction in which he had been walking. Something stirred in the grass. "There you are!" Pentious made a move to part the grass, but all he saw was a hint of faded red and the creature took off. "Hey! Get back here!"
"That's my friend!" Frank replied happily as Pentious chased after the moving creature hiding in the grass. There was something familiar about what he saw, though the hint of color made him sincerely doubt this was one of his birds. Pentious kept the chase going as best as he could with his legs still being somewhat new. Eventually, the creature slowed down. Pentious managed to catch up moving the grass aside to see a female imp. She wasn't very big, but it was far bigger than his chicken. She must have been scurrying on her hands and knees.
"Hello." Pentious didn't know what to say as the imp stared up at him with large, bulbous gold and red eyes.
"Hello."
"Do you live out here?" Pentious reached down to offer a hand to help the imp to her feet. The imp watched him.
"No. Yes? Kind of."
"I just moved here." Pentious looked down at his own hand, then back at the imp. "Need a hand?" She scooted a bit away from him.
"No. Yes?"
"Here." He scooted a little closer. "It's fine, I'm not afraid of you. I may look like a regular, every day, handsome human, but I used to live in Hell." He went to reach for her hand but Frank started to peck at his arm angrily. Pentious pulled his hand back just as the imp tried to swipe at him. "Woah, sorry, didn't mean to upset you."
"I have to go." The imp tried once more to scurrying under the bush. This time, she made it all the way through. Pentious frowned. The imp seemed a little... off? It was hard to place. He had a feeling she was lost, scared.
"Hey! Wait!" Pentious had to force his way through the thick and thorny brush, he tucked Frank into his coat to try and protect him from getting scratched. He emerged on the other side to see the imp running to hide behind... Pentious nearly stumbled back into the thorns. "Q..." he swallowed trying to get to his feet. "Queen Lilith!?"
"Oh my." Lilith rushed over to help him out of the brush. "Are you quite all right?" Pentious made it back onto his feet, brushing off Frank with his free hand. The Queen had his other hand as she helped him up.
"I'm fine, your majesty." Pentious tried to assure her. She looked him over, pulling him away from the brush by his hand.
"Your majesty?" She giggled slightly. "Why would you call me that?" Pentious struggled to keep Frank from escaping as he followed the queen away from the thorny walls. Pentious now had met both rulers of Hell. He felt important.
"Because you're queen Lilith! I know your daughter!"
"You know my Charlie?" She looked genuinely shocked. "How could a human like you have possibly met my darling Charlie?"
"I used to be a Sinner!"
"And now you're..." Lilith lifted Pentious's hand so the golden ring caught the light. "An employee in Port Gatory? Why on Earth would my ex-husband think it was a good idea to send a human soul to work here?"
"Well, it's a little more complicated than that." Pentious didn't want to accidentally be the cause of a fight between Charlie's parents. "You see I was a Sinner first, then- drumroll please-" he also wanted very much to impress the queen. Frank thumped his feet against Pentious and squawked in an attempt to make a drumroll. "I became a Winner! Thanks to your daughter and her Hotel!" He would have emphasized his point with some waving fingers, but he didn't want to drop Frank, and the Queen still had his other hand.
"Oh, how wonderful!" Lilith smiled brightly. "Charlie must be so excited. I know that hotel has been her passion project for some time!"
"I have no idea if she is excited or not! I haven't been able to talk to her since I became a Winner. But I like to think she is."
"Hmm, just like Heaven." Lilith frowned.
"I will see her soon! I heard from the boat captains that she comes to visit sometimes with the King!"
"If you are waiting for the King to bother paying Port Gatory a visit, you are going to be waiting a painfully long time, I'm afraid." Lilith was smiling, but Pentious could sense bitterness in her tone. "So... Heaven hired you?" Lilith looked again at the ring on his finger on the hand she was holding. "To work in Port Gatory?"
"I am on a trial period, I think." Pentious hoped that losing one of his roosters wasn't going to count against him.
"I'm just surprised. Usually, they don't take interest in this place. I certainly don't see them sending a human soul. No offense. I am sure you're wonderful, but this place is very dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. It's beautiful... but still."
"I am still going through orientation. I will learn." Pentious assured her. Lilith raised an eyebrow at his response.
"And yet, you're out here in the middle of nowhere."
"So are you!" Frank spoke up. Pentious tried desperately to shush him, but to his surprise, the queen simply giggled.
"We have a vacation home out here." She held up the hand that was still holding Pentious's. He could see a similar golden ring upon her finger. "It's a nice place to get away, clear my head. I've done a lot of work for Port Gatory, I know my way around."
"What about her?" Pentious looked down at the imp who had been staring quietly in the distance as he and Lilith spoke.
"She's one of the old servants. Luci fired them all, for some unknown reason, and I hate to see my people out of work. Plus, imps usually don't get to see a place like Port Gatory. It's such a shame... it's nice here, so long as you don't wander too far. Right, Greta?"
"No. Yes?" The imp blinked, shaking her head. "It is quite lovely."
"I hate to chat and run, but I think dinner is almost ready back at the house, and I do like my food when it's hot." Lilith smiled as she gave his hand a squeeze, thumb trailing over the golden ring. "Hopefully we will see each other again. I'm sure we will."
"It was great to see you, your majesty!" Pentious replied eagerly. The Queen was every bit as kind as he envisioned.
"One more thing," her grip tightened briefly on his hand. "Do me a big favor: and don't tell anyone about this. If Lucifer finds out I'm vacationing out here he is going to completely ruin my serenity." She smiled, releasing his hand. "Come along Greta, let's go home" she turned to walk to the other side of the clearing, Greta the imp chasing after her, struggling to keep up with Lilith's long strides.
"No. Yes?" He heard Greta talking as she followed the Queen. Pentious watched until he saw the two vanish in the trees.
"Well, that was fun." Pentious looked at the hand Lilith had been holding. That ring certainly meant a lot to everyone who seemed to see it. Pentious tucked Frank under his arm again as he scrambled his way back through the brush from which he had emerged. He forced his way through, dusting off the brambles from his clothes and making sure Frank wasn't hurt. Frank blinked at him.
"Hi boss!"
Frank seemed fine.
Pentious started walking in the direction from which he had come. He walked.
And walked.
Then walked some more.
The city should have been coming into view by this point. He knew he hadn't been walking for that long before stumbling on the Queen. He walked a bit further before deciding to head back in the direction from which he had come. Maybe he could find Lilith again, she would be able to help him find his way back to the city. She probably didn't live far from the clearing. He was always hearing about how dangerous Port Gatory was.
He walked back in search of the thick bushes that hid the clearing from view. They were fairly large and shouldn't be hard to find. So, he walked.
And walked.
And kept walking.
The trees were far thicker than he remembered, but the bushes were not nearly as tall or dense as the one he had to crawl through to chase after Greta. It was almost maddening.
This shouldn't have been hard to find.
"Boss, are we lost?" Frank looked up at him expectantly.
"No, of course not." Pentious reassured him as he looked in vain for any sign of the queen or the city, or... well... anything.
They were definitely lost.
Hours past and no matter how much Pentious wandered, he couldn't even see a trace of the massive city in the distance. Eventually, over the sound of his footsteps, he could hear the sound of rushing water. Maybe he could follow the stream to find the port. That was about the only option he had.
He followed the sound of the water and saw a river in the distance. The waters looked rough, as he drew closer, he realized it was a bit difficult to tell in which direction the water was actually flowing. He walked along the edge of the river, trying to see if the water became calm enough to follow further down.
It didn't seem to.
"Boss we should go back. The water is haunted." Frank pecked at his hand sounding a little uneasy. Pentious did remember how many times Jazeerael seemed to stress that the water was unsafe in Port Gatory, but it was the only landmark he had, so against his better judgement, he continued on the way. Frank became increasingly anxious the further they walked. He would flap his wings, peck at Pentious's hands, and try to wriggle free of his grip.
"Be still." Pentious tried to stop him from slipping free. He was a bit worried he might accidentally drop Frank at this rate.
"We should go back."
"This is going to help us find the city again."
"We have to go back." Frank usually wasn't this insistent. None of his birds were. Pentious frowned looking back at the water. He hated to lose his only lead, but he hated to lose Frank more. As he stared, he swore he saw something moving on the other side of the riverbank through the trees. It was something... massive, something hulking, and the very ground seemed to tremble with teach step. Pentious started to hear that ringing in his ears, his vision started to feel cloudy.
"OW!" The inventor was snapped back to reality as Frank pecked him rather roughly on his hand causing Pentious to drop him. "Frank, get back here!" Pentious tore his gaze away from the opposing riverbank as he gave chase to Frank who was scurrying back through the woods. He finally caught up with Frank who had decided in the middle of their chase, to start pecking at some nearby grass. "Got you, you little shit." Pentious scooped him up.
"I found some grass."
"We're surrounded by grass." Pentious sighed, he was exhausted. He took a seat on a nearby rock and put Frank in his lap. He looked up at the sky, it was starting to get dark. Pentious had no desire to be out here at night.
"Pentious!" There was a woman's voice in the distance. Pentious sat up. The sky was even darker now, the sun almost completely setting. "Sir Pentious!" He thought it might be Jezebel, but her voice wasn't at all familiar. Frank perked up on his lap, but he didn't seem as agitated as before.
"There's a lady, boss!"
"Yes, I hear her." Pentious got up, tucking Frank back under his arm again as he started walking toward the voice. "Hello!? Yes! I'm out here!"
"Pentious!? Oh, thank goodness! Stay where you are! I'm coming to get you! Keep talking to me sweet heart!" Her voice was friendly, gentle. He could hear it getting louder as she must have turned toward him. Pentious had been planning on walking toward her, but her instructions specifically wanted him to stay put. That was fine. He was tired of walking, anyway.
"Thank you! How did you know my name?"
"Jazeerael and Jezebel sent me to come find you!"
"Are they back?"
"They are! They've been quite worried! As have your little friends back at the house! Don't worry, we're not far!"
"You're not going to lure me further away from the city and rob and kill me, are you?" Pentious figured he had to ask. He had lived in Hell for long enough to know that 'help' often made things worse.
"No?" There was a stirring sound from behind the trees nearby. Finally, he saw a woman emerge. She was dressed in green, her long, black hair was adorned with all sorts of flowers as it cascaded down her back. She looked at home in the forest. "And even if I was, I wouldn't tell you that."
"Kill me last!" Frank didn't seem at all threatened despite his comment as the woman came forward.
"Let me show you the way back to the city." She offered her hand toward him and the first thing Pentious noticed was the golden ring. He felt some degree of relief. It made him feel better seeing it. He took her hand and she began to walk in an entirely different direction.
"Are you sure we're going the right way?" Pentious didn't want to suspect the only person he had seen since the Queen, but the area looked entirely unfamiliar. (Though perhaps he had just gotten that turned around.)
"I am. I know it feels wrong, but Port Gatory is always changing. The paths shift while you're on them. It's really easy to get lost around here. Fortunately, I am in charge of finding lost souls and not to brag, but I'm pretty good at it. I've been living here for... ever it feels like." She laughed as they continued walking.
"It changes?" Pentious was fascinated by the idea.
"Yep! Don't believe me?" The woman walked over to a tree, she took a rock and placed it in the center of a knot in the middle of the tree. "See this?" Pentious nodded. She took his hand and slowly lead him away from the tree. They hadn't even gone six feet when she came to a stop. "Now look." Pentious turned back around to look at the rock nestled in the tree but...
"Where did it go?" He doubled back. There was no tree with a knot at all, but rather thick brush where the tree had been.
"It got eaten!" Frank sounded equally shocked.
"Like I said, the landscape is always changing. If you don't know how to navigate, you'll be wandering forever. And trust me, you don't want that. But we should hurry. Things are especially dangerous at night."
"I'm glad you found me..."
"Me too! We don't want you lost on your first day!"
"They told you it's my first day, huh?" Pentious was a little embarrassed that he had gone so woefully far off of the path.
"They did. But don't you worry. This place takes some getting used to. You'll get the hang of it in due time." The woman was reassuring. Which was good because Pentious had no choice but to trust her.
They walked for a while before Pentious started to see the city come into view. Relief washed over him, he started to feel the exhaust catching back up with him as the woman lead him all the way to where the grass under his feet turned back into street once more. She had her phone out and it was only a moment before Jazeerael and Jezebel came running up.
"Pentious! You're okay!" Jazeerael grabbed him by his shoulders, looking him up and down.
"Don't scare us like that, asshole!" Jezebel pulled him away from Jazeerael to give him her own once over. "He looks fine."
"We almost died." Frank replied helpfully.
"Thank you so much for finding him." Jazeerael took the time to speak to the woman in green. She smiled.
"That's my job! Happy I could help. You stay safe, Pentious!"
"You too!" Pentious called after her as the woman gave him a small wave and turned to leave. She headed back out into the woods. He looked back at Jazeerael and Jezebel. "Does she live out there?" Pentious had the distinct image of the woman sleeping in the grass under the open sky. She seemed like that sort of outdoors type who could make a hut out of fallen limbs.
"I mean... yeah. Her house is on the outskirts." Jazeerael took a device out of his pocket and ran it over Pentious and Frank. "They're both clean." He breathed a visible sigh of relief.
"Clean-" Pentious started to question the device, but before he could even finish, Jezebel cut him off.
"You are so lucky we found you. Do NOT leave the city limits again unless one of us is with you. Capiche?"
"Sorry, Frank ran off." Pentious held the rooster up. Jezebel looked at Frank, then back at Pentious.
"They have names?"
"Frank does." Pentious replied flatly at the exact same time Frank chirped:
"I do!"
"Let's get you back to my place." Jazeerael pried Jezebel's hands off of Pentious as he gently guided Pentious back toward the inner part of the city. "We can get you acquainted with the boats later. I think you've had a hard enough first day. You're probably exhausted."
"I am..." Pentious realized as he was reunited with the captains, that he had almost no energy left. All he wanted was to pass the fuck out.
"Yeah, let's let him sleep." Jezebel followed along as they made their way back to Jazeerael's little house. "You can see my super awesome boat tomorrow, after you've rested."
"That sounds like a plan." Pentious gave a nod. His first day had been a wild ride from beginning to end.
Hopefully,
Day two would be better.