50
By: Aviantei
Act II: School Life/Loneliness
Scene IV: "This was not here before."
Rhea at least had enough sense of mind to pull herself and her bag into the room and shut the door, but that was about it. From there, she stayed on the floor, hugging her knees and staring at her equipment bag, trying to figure out what it meant. Roxas must have dropped it off—Rhea got the distinct impression that Axel wouldn't have wasted the opportunity to visit her if he'd somehow retrieved it—but there was nothing to confirm her hypothesis. No note, no message indicating that he wanted to return it to get things over with, or that he was somehow trying to mend things; Rhea knew better, and she suspected the former. But still, a little note indicating that the returning of her equipment as a sure sign of their no longer intact friendship would have been helpful for helping her move on, assuming she was even capable of doing such a thing in the first place.
The lack of any message at all was what hurt the most, though.
It was times like this that Rhea hated herself. Hated the way she got so attached to people and hated how quick she crumbled whenever they decided they didn't need her anymore. Hated the way that she was someone that was so easy not to need in the first place. And, most of all, she hated the way that she would spiral in her thoughts, unable to do anything but overanalyze even the stupidest of gestures like her now ex-friend dropping off the bag of Castle scaling equipment that wasn't even hers, because Roxas had been the one to pick it all up for her in the first place.
She should throw it away, she thought, and then felt the tears well up again at just the thought of doing such a thing. At least this was one of her quiet cries, where there wasn't any sobbing but just the hot tears running down her face, meeting up with the snot she didn't have anywhere close to the willpower to wipe away with her sleeve. It was a shame that she'd already gone and taken a shower; the hot water tended to at least wash away the most superficial levels of emotional grime, even if the larger problems still remained in the cavity in her chest. Any sense of feeling better in the slightest was worth it.
And the worst part of it all was that there wasn't anyone that she could go to for help. Roxas had been her rock for so long, but he was part of the issue (not to mention no longer speaking to her), so he wasn't any help. There wasn't any contact with the people from the world with no name, either, nor would she trust them with this. She could have reached out to Axel, she supposed—except she had no clue where he was.
She didn't have his number, either, she realized as she had reached for her phone out of instinct. Roxas's contact info was all she had, and she almost tossed her phone across the room before she realized that there was one number that she did have that was worth calling.
The Fifty Minute Room.
It started as a stray thought that Rhea hadn't meant to take seriously, but it became more and more appealing the more she thought about it. Sure enough, the ridiculous string of numbers that Axel had known without even checking (because of course he had it memorized, why wouldn't he?) was still in her outgoing call history. All she would need to do was press call, and then she could go back there, free of the pressing reminder that her anxieties would just keep her from sleeping and then she'd be a disaster tomorrow, both in class and in Axel's lessons. Add that to the long list of things she hated about herself, too—the way that she could be physically exhausted and then her brain would latch onto something and whip itself up into a frenzy, unable to get the rest she needed.
But in the Fifty Minute Room, where there weren't any time sensitive activities, Rhea could exhaust her mind until she could get some sleep, and then she could come home, folded back into the usual flow of life. Who knew—maybe she could get herself to a balanced enough state that she wouldn't burst into tears whenever she saw Roxas in the classroom the next morning.
That possibility alone was enough for Rhea to press the call button before she could even think of the precise logistics. Dew picked up guests for the Fifty Minute Room in a car, didn't she? How did something like that work whenever you were inside a building? Rhea was already regretting her rashness—she still hadn't brushed out her hair post shower for one—but before she could end the call she had started there was a knock at the door.
Oh, no way. It's gotta be Axel, right? This is some kind of prank, right? Despite everything she'd been through, coincidence was much easier to believe than the reality of magic.
The knock on the door came again, a bit more impatient this time than the last, and Rhea couldn't stop the yelp that emerged from her throat. Apprehension brewing along her spine, she stood up and paced towards the door, very much regretting that the room didn't have a peephole of any sort for her to check. Well, if it was a prank, then might as well get it over with. Maybe cursing at Axel for messing with her on top of everything else would make her feel better.
Except when Rhea yanked open the door, it wasn't Axel, but Dew.
The woman looked as elegant as ever, and she'd traded out her previous ensemble for a deep purple attendant's dress with golden ornamentations. The limousine behind her was also violet instead of the former blue, and Rhea couldn't help but wonder if it was the same vehicle as the last time or another one altogether. And then she registered that there was a limo in the dorm hallway, and her brain just sort of short-circuited for a second or twenty.
"Are you the next guest for the Fifty Minute Room?" Dew asked, not compromising her professionalism in the slightest. Rhea didn't answer, too busy squinting past Dew and into the hall behind her. The familiar dorm walls and door across the hall were sort of visible, but also sort of not? She stepped forward to get a closer look, almost bumping into Dew in the process. "As a returning guest, do you intend to use our services again?"
The sound of her voice so close made Rhea jump, and she flushed with embarrassment. What did it matter how the transportation worked, so long as it got her where she wanted to go? "Ah, um, yes, one moment." Rhea scrambled back, at least grabbing a hair tie for herself to form a messy bun. She hesitated a moment before she swiped up the equipment bag from the floor as well, hauling it over her shoulder as she headed for the door. "I'm ready to go, ma'am."
"No need to be so formal with me. Now, go ahead and step inside, dear guest."
And glad for the fact that someone else was telling her what to do so that she didn't have to make that sort of decision herself, Rhea got inside the car.
Unlike the usual ride home after a raid of the castle, Rhea did not end up feeling drowsy by the time she got to the Fifty Minute Room. Her body was still heavy, but her mind was wired. So after a series of greetings from Sir and Madam and getting escorted to her room (which seemed to be the same as the last time, but was it even possible to tell in a place that could change its appearance on a whim?), Rhea said fuck it and left the bed, though it was the perfect level of comfort.
At first, she paced back and forth through the space, but her physical energy levels had tanked, and her body wanted nothing to do with it. Still, just lying around wasn't going to help, either. So stuffing herself into a fresh hoodie from the closet of wonders so she at least looked half like a real person, Rhea went to the library, snatched the book she'd been halfway through last time from a convenient table where it was waiting, and sunk into a beanbag in the corner, letting the words provide an alternative to the swirling thoughts inside her head.
It worked for a while, all the way up until it didn't, and Rhea leaned back. The one reason that she didn't groan out loud was that it was likely that Zexion was out and about, and she didn't want to disturb him. Wait, scratch that—she kind of did want to disturb him, but like in an intentional way and not on accident. Swirling around in her own thoughts had never gotten her anywhere, but talking to Axel and to Roxas before him had helped out, so maybe…?
Well, at this rate, "maybe" is way better than nothing.
Abandoning the novel in her beanbag, Rhea got up and stalked through the shelves. Surely Zexion had some sort of favorite spot he returned to again and again during his research; she believed that even if she'd never seen it. Of course, if part of his wish for the Fifty Minute Room was not to be disturbed, there was a strong chance she wouldn't find it, but it was worth a shot, even if she didn't quite feel like wanting to move.
After a few good minutes of hunting, though, that feeling soon faded. The methodological task of searching through every single nook and cranny soothed off some of the thoughts from her brain and kept the general stress at a comfortable level—not fully at bay, but also not at full blast, either. She hoped that, at the very least, if she didn't find Zexion, then she would at least be able to wear herself into enough of a state of exhaustion that sleep wouldn't be all that hard to find.
She got into such a rhythm that she didn't even notice how much time had passed, and it was fun, exploring for hidden coves between bookshelves. It was a bit like the kind of exploration she'd always played pretend at when she was a kid, except it was real. The space responding to her fantastical mood, Rhea did unearth a couple of hidden doors, and even a silly switch in the bookcase that made her so giddy she was almost lightheaded. She should have tucked the book back into her hoodie instead of leaving it behind; it would have been nice to have a secret hideout to settle down in, since there were enough pillows and whatnot about that she could have knocked out under the plants and fairy lights.
But after so long into the hunt, Rhea felt dedicated, so she kept going. Part of her was worried that maybe she was hunting for someone that wasn't even around, but she still wanted the satisfaction of finding everything that the place had to offer, so she pressed on. It was subtle at first, but the more she invested in her magical library fantasy, the more the architecture changed, looking less like the school and more like it belonged in some fairy realm or another. All the architecture was now made of gentle pale woods, and even more leafy plants were out and about. That made the whole process of searching for Zexion a bit more like meditation, though Rhea was just guessing at what meditation was even like in the first place. It was supposed to be helpful, right?
Maybe she'd look for a book on the topic, maybe she wouldn't. Right now, it was time for adventure. It was much more pleasant to be exploring in this way, with no threat of mortal danger like in the Castle. Why couldn't this have been outside the town with no name instead?
Well, if it was, you wouldn't have bothered to go there in the first place, she thought, snorting to herself as she scaled a ladder that reached all the way up to the ceiling; she could have sworn that she'd seen a trapdoor up there. You're well aware that danger was just what you wanted.
A place to disappear.
An easy out.
A—
"Why am I not surprised to see you scrambling around out here?" Zexion's voice said from below. Rhea overcorrected the speed of her ascent, almost losing her grip; the ladder rattled, but it was well secured, so it didn't tip over. Though she was pretty high up, she still flashed him a sheepish smile and a wave in greeting. "I didn't know that you were interested in the history of cross-world empires."
Rhea glanced at the shelf before her, judging from the titles there that Zexion was correct in what was in this section, because of course he knew the entire library. Maybe he and Axel would get along; they both seemed to have a penchant for memorization, in any event. Pocketing the thought for later, Rhea called back down, "I'm not. I think there's some kind of hidden room up here!"
She was too far up to see, but Rhea could almost sense the disgruntled look on Zexion's face. "There is not."
"Is too!" Just to prove her dedication to her cause, Rhea resumed climbing, her sights focused on the ceiling that was just a handful of feet away. Sure enough, whenever she made it up to the ceiling, there was the faint outline of a trapdoor of some sort, as well as a little indent that served as a handle. Feeling vindicated, she reached up, pulling down. The door stuck, but it had wedged open enough that she was sure it wasn't locked, so she pulled again, putting more force into it. "Woah!"
The door flew open, unleashing dust into her face, though Rhea hadn't so much as seen a speck of a dirt in the Fifty Minute Room before. She also fumbled a bit, almost tipping back and off the ladder, but she caught herself, the adrenaline of excitement had her laughing rather than panicking. Below her, Zexion was saying something (he sounded concerned at any rate), but Rhea was already finishing climbing up the ladder and hoisting herself up through the trap door and into the room that waited.
"You coming or not?!" she shouted down to Zexion, very much ignoring any concept of being quiet in the library before she stood in the secret room she'd found. It, too, was in a wooden style, but it was filled brim to brim with books. There wasn't any sign whatsoever of another entrance besides the one that Rhea had found, but there were great wide windows that showed the reflection of a night sky outside. Rather than any traditional lightbulbs, there were multicolored balls of magical energy floating in the air, reflecting off what seemed to be tree roots integrated into the walls and ceiling. Even with the dust flying through the air, it looked beautiful, though perhaps that was due to the extensive amounts of ancient-looking tomes everywhere.
At last snapping out of her sense of awe, Rhea took a few steps forward, running her fingers over the books before her. Though she still knew in the back of her mind that she was in the Fifty Minute Room, where magic had crafted the place, it still reeked of a delightful mystery that she couldn't deny. Hell, the books could contain nothing but a mishmash of nonsense text, and she'd be happy about it.
"This was not here before," Zexion said from behind her; it seemed he had decided to climb up after her. Well, at least his disgruntlement sounded just half present. "I'd ask how you managed to find something like this, but I think it would be pointless given how the Fifty Minute Room works." Rhea hummed, stumbling across a store of ancient-looking parchment that didn't have anything written on it but added to the mood, nonetheless. "What does it look like to you?"
Rhea was about to respond that that was a stupid question—except she remembered that it wasn't. "Like some fantasy elf study or something? I mean, I guess it's kind of what I imagined based on books and stuff I read before."
"Ah. Not your world, then?" Rhea hummed in the negative, but she didn't miss the twinge of nostalgia in his voice. Asking seemed too personal, though, so she held it down, though she would have been more than happy to listen. Zexion stepped forward, coming over to her side and picking up one of the books without opening it. "It's mine for me. I mean, most places here are, but this is different. More…personal." He sighed, changing the subject before either of them could dwell on the moment. "Well, I take it that you didn't venture back to the Fifty Minute Room just to go hunting for new hidden rooms, did you?"
In that moment, it struck Rhea that she had no idea how much time had passed inside the Fifty Minute Room while she was gone. On the outside, it had been a day, and what did that say about her? But that wasn't what Zexion was asking at all, so it didn't feel like an attack. It felt like support.
"Couldn't sleep," she said, which was the truth. "I figured I'd rather wear myself out here instead of fuck up my sleep schedule." As if she had a functioning one in the first place, and the Fifty Minute Room was sure to mess it up more, but still. Zexion didn't seem to be pressing for details, though, so she could have left it be. And yet Rhea realized that she wanted to talk, rather than just let it fester inside of her. "I… A friend and I are fighting. I'm not even sure we're friends anymore, and…" Tears were stinging at her eyes, but she told herself it was just the dust. "Hey, um…would you mind if we talked for a bit?"
For some reason, she expected him to turn her down—she could be wasting his precious research time or whatever. But instead he nodded, gesturing to a pair of chairs underneath the windows that Rhea hadn't noticed before. "Considering where we are, time isn't of any issue," he said, and she thought his mouth had started to quirk towards a smile. "I'll listen to you if you're willing to listen to me." Rhea nodded, and Zexion took the lead, and she followed after.
The sense that she'd struck some strange kind of deal didn't leave her at all.
[Author's Notes]
Welcome to unhealthy coping, the fanfic, in which everyone (and I mean almost everyone) deals with their emotional problems by running away to another dimension. The Fifty Minute Room isn't all bad, but there sure are better ways to deal with your issues. Whoops.
Thanks to Arika Koski 2021 (Guest) and the unnamed guest for leaving off reviews on the last chapter. Since there were questions and y'all were both guest accounts, here are the answers.
Arika: I'm not an expert in movie ratings, but I think the sheer number of times I make the characters say fuck would by default make it an R on language alone. That said, the content itself (both published and planned) doesn't have anything graphic or explicit in it, hence the T rating I gave the story.
Unnamed Guest: I currently don't have any plans to write a NEO: TWEWY fic yet, since I'm still working on my standard TWEWY fic. Muse is currently updating, so I suppose swing around there if you wanna see me work with that world?
Extra promo for walk steady on this cruel world's path, my Demon Slayer fic that's almost at celebrating its first anniversary and somehow has avoided the hiatus hell trap. It updates every other Saturday for those interested.
We're almost at the new year, and that's kinda surreal to me, but I'm wishing you all happy holidays and whatnot! Act II, Scene V will come out sometime in 2022, so please look forward to it!
-Avi
[12.30.2021]