Disclaimer: This author in no way profits from the writing of this story. All characters, dialogue, or other referenced material from the Mass Effect trilogy belong to BioWare.
Author's Note: This story does not necessarily follow any particular timeline and may not be considered chronologically accurate.
Warning: this chapter contains content which may be considered violently graphic by some readers. The beginning and the end of the associated section are marked with "*CAUTION*" and "*END*", respectively.
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Following the other two women, Cass tried her best to make her feet keep up while her mind was overcome with the sheer vastness of this strange new planet. The overwhelming color that stretched in every direction as far as the eye could see, the closeness of the massive grey-green sky that hunched over their heads, the lack of advanced civilization as she knew it: it seemed impossible that something like this could really exist.
And yet, it did.
Her steps felt awkward as she tried to take it all in, simultaneously struggling with the oddity that was the armored suit she'd borrowed. As she grew more accustomed to the generalities of the land, the details began to draw her attention: the weary posture of the people trudging around the compound, the hazy air she breathed in with greater difficulty than normal, the pockmarks of debris scattered across the terrain. There was no greenery or vegetation she could recognize in sight. Very little movement, if any, stirred beyond the edges of the camp. Cass thought she could smell something musky and ancient and damaged in the stagnant wind.
It was like the world itself had been raped.
Yet, somehow, it was beautiful.
Every so often she caught a glimpse of lighter colored rocks that called to mind the necklace her mother had left behind, her one remaining memento of Melinda's existence. She'd have to get a closer look, if possible, just to see if it was the same mineral or not.
She had fallen behind Ashley and Samantha but Vadix remained behind even her, though he was closer than the humans. Cass started to wonder if this was his first time on Tuchanka as well, then remembered his answer had been the same as hers when Garrus had asked them about it. Perhaps he too was astounded by the newness.
It would be entirely too much to hope that he simply wanted to stay by her.
Cass looked up to see the other women were waving at them, gesturing for the recruits to catch up. She still wasn't sure what exactly to make of the two of them. They didn't seem like the best of friends, so Cass wasn't sure why they both decided to accompany them.
Samantha Traynor was very kind and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know them. She was well suited to her job as comms specialist, given her friendly demeanor and apparent aptitude for communicating without offending. On the shuttle ride to the planet, the marine had gently asked Cass about her family. Normally it was a question she hated answering—because of the pity that inevitably followed it—but somehow Traynor had made her feel comfortable despite the prickly situation that was her backstory.
Ashley Williams, on the other hand, was standoffish, as though she wasn't sure it was worth getting to know them. The entire journey she had made very few verbal remarks, though her face had reacted to the conversation with regularity. Cass thought the woman was either naturally just bad with people or else she had experienced something that made it difficult to trust people, like she didn't believe that they'd come back.
Vadix was just a few steps away when she reached their squad mates, lingering near the outskirts of the camp. "Sorry," Cass apologized. "There's just so much to see."
Ashley raised one incredulous eyebrow but dismissed the comment before launching into a lecture. Samantha smiled gently at Cass.
"I understand neither of you has been to this planet before, and I have no idea what you know about it—" (Cass nearly interrupted to tell her she knew nothing about Tuchanka, then decided it was better not to antagonize the seasoned marine.) "—so, while we're getting set up, I'll give you a brief synopsis of how to not die during your stay."
She paused just long enough for Cass and Vadix to exchange a shocked look before reaching for the sniper rifles they'd carried from the ship.
Williams continued with her tirade, never missing a beat while pulling out her own weaponry. "Our goal today is simply to shoot some pyjaks. They're monkey-like animals native to the planet with a birth rate higher even than the krogran before the genophage. Should you feel any qualms about killing them, remember that they are, essentially, vermin and not a protected species. This will give you both more experience with the rifles as well as real-world experience in general. Though it's unlikely you'll be shot at by the pyjaks like you would in an actual real-world scenario."
The barest hint of a smirk played across Ashley's features, and, for a moment, she looked like someone Cass would want to be friends with.
It disappeared quickly as she settled into her firing stance, looking toward the horizon for unsuspecting creatures as she continued speaking.
"Aside from the warring turian clans, which are dangerous enough as it is, there are several forms of animal life you should avoid at all costs. Really, any living thing on this planet will try to kill you if you let it so just assume that, if it's not a krogan and it's breathing in your bubble, shoot first and ask questions later."
Setting up her own gun like Garrus had shown them, Cass began to lose focus on what she was hearing. She struggled with a couple of the knobs on the weapon stand, muttering angrily to herself.
Samantha noticed what was going on and moved closer. "Need some help?" she asked politely, kneeling in the dust to the redhead's right.
With a groan, she nodded. "That would be great. I don't have a lot of experience with things like this, in case you couldn't tell." Handing the infuriating piece of equipment over, Cass watched the dark-haired woman's face. She was rather pretty, really. Absentmindedly, she wondered if Traynor was in a happy relationship. Someone as sweet as her certainly deserved one if that was what she wanted.
"There," Samantha interrupted her thoughts. "I don't have loads of practice with sniper rifles specifically but looks like the principle was essentially the same as other things." Their eyes met and Cass felt like she was looking into liquid chocolate.
She realized the other woman was warm both in action and in character.
"Thank you," Cass stuttered and looked down, feeling slightly embarrassed though she couldn't identify the reason why.
"No problem," Samantha responded, another small smile offering unspoken solace. Then she looked over her shoulder, murmuring as she rose, "Looks like Ashley is ready. I'll just be over here if you need me."
The reassuring words helped Cass more than the assistance with setting up her gun. She grinned to herself as she turned toward the rudimentary wall that lined the clan's base, peeking at the turian to her left.
Vadix looked completely at ease.
A twinge of jealousy flitted across her mind. That he could grow acclimated to foreign surroundings without difficulty was enviable. Sure, Cass could handle people of all shapes, sizes, colors, and attitudes; but she had difficulty adjusting to physical circumstances.
Plus, the firearm in her hand wasn't making matters any easier.
Her earlier grin twisted into a grimace as Vadix looked over at her. "You alright?" he asked sincerely, reaching toward her with a talon.
Cass nodded, unsure how to explain her emotions. She couldn't tell if it was this planet in particular, different as it was from the Citadel, or if it was simply the new experience of traveling somewhere she'd never been, of broadening her own horizons.
Perhaps it could have been any world and she would still be consumed by a wave of homesickness.
Or perhaps it was the subtle reminders of her past which she had tried so hard to remove from her memory: the grey of the stone so similar to the irises she had inherited from the father she'd never known, the ravages of war and thoughtless slaughter so like the negligence of the last man she had completely trusted, the very armor she wore on her body a reflection of the walls she used to protect her heart.
It was like the gag reflex of her mind was on overdrive, her heart racing with the effort of remaining outwardly stoic.
"Hey." The soft touch of a hard carapace pulled her from the mental nausea threatening to overcome her. "Look at me."
Hardly breathing, Cass swiveled toward her partner. His blue eyes were calm, sure, and unrelenting. Tenderly he gripped her forearm. "It's alright," he whispered, hesitating. "You're not alone."
Her heart skipped a beat, though not from fear. Slowly she began to nod, afraid to look away. The man dipped his head in silent encouragement. Then he lifted his hand, breaking their skin contact. But he paused, palm hovering over her arm.
Cass looked down at the spot he had just vacated, willing herself back into the present. Then she nodded more firmly, peering up again. She smiled weakly and looked away, unwilling to recognize verbally her own limitation, hoping he would be kind enough not to mention it.
After settling in behind the scope, she peeked at Vadix. His position mirrored her own.
Then he broke the silence.
"You know," he began and the woman winced. "Ashley is using an assault rifle, which means we've got first dibs on any of these suckers that decide to show their faces."
Sluggishly, Cass looked at him. What the hell? she wondered distractedly. "Okay?" she said aloud, uncertain how he expected her to respond.
Vadix shrugged behind his weapon. "Just saying" was all he said in reply.
Mimicking him, Cass shrugged too, thinking she would never understand men. Outside the bedroom anyway.
She shoved that thought away before it could take root, staring intently through the scope of her rifle. Cass thought she may have seen pictures of pyjaks during primary school, but the image wasn't clear in her memory. At least she understood conceptually what a monkey was, otherwise she'd probably end up shooting something sentient.
Hopefully the pyjaks were the only monkey-like species on Tuchanka.
A movement at the edge of her view caught her attention. Clearing her mind, Cass focused her gaze and found the source.
It was the thinnest looking thing she had ever seen. Even the creature's ears were wider than its four limbs and accompanying fingers and toes. The thing seemed to have black stripes that covered most of its body, though they ended before reaching its head. This body part was rather more colorful until its snout ended the abrupt green and purple blotches. Black orbs embedded just next to the ears were the largest piece of anatomy she could see.
Strange as it was, the animal was sort of cute.
And then it fell, crippled to the ground, as the sound of a gunshot radiated around them.
Cass nearly fell on her shoulder she was so surprised.
The turian met her stare with a grin. "Beat ya to it," he drawled, already reloading the weapon.
With a glare she muttered acerbically, "I didn't realize it was a competition."
"Baby, it's always a competition."
The term of endearment was even more unexpected than the first shot, and this time Cass did slump to the side, her mouth open to the frizzy air.
Luckily Vadix was too engrossed in his post- and prep-work to notice her reaction.
With some mental effort, Cass drew herself up again and looked down the rifle, determined not to lose this round.
They spent several hours in the hot sun, feeling it move across the sky as it warmed their backs. Cass had worried that at some point their unwitting targets would stop showing up but the poor things seemed to have no ability to recognize the danger they were in, even when their comrades failed to return to the nest. Or to wherever they lived.
Vadix pushed her hard, making her work to keep up with him. On occasion Ashley would steal a hit from them, bolstering the comradeship they felt for each other. Samantha, surprisingly, wasn't shooting at all. She simply made small talk with the three of them during the excessive down time of waiting for another pyjak to appear.
Having spent a significant amount of time on the planet's surface, Cass felt a new appreciation for the strange armored suit she wore—and for its built-in cooling system. It was working at max capacity and still she felt the sweat dripping down her body, pooling uncomfortably in the small of her back. Without thinking, once she had shifted onto her side for a moment, only to feel the liquid slide around her skin like a drunk man's hand, coming to rest at her navel.
That was somehow even worse.
A few choice expletives had slipped out involuntarily and Cass was forced to explain the situation to her companions. The turian had the gall to chuckle at her discomfort.
But then she sniped the next three pyjaks to appear, and he stopped laughing.
Finally, the count stood at 21—22 in her favor. Between her current lead and the ceaseless scorch of the sun, Cass was ready to call it quits. Until, like a magpie, something shiny visible through her scope caught her eye.
She cocked her head, pausing mid-breath. "I think I see something," she murmured to no one in particular.
Vadix scoffed, "I sure hope so. If not, I'd think you need a new scope."
"No, no," she was too intrigued to be annoyed. "I mean, I think I see something that warrants closer inspection."
She felt his eyes on her then, and the alarm in his voice was obvious. "I don't think that's a good idea, Cassana."
"It's not that far," the human hedged, inspecting the distance markings within the scope. "Only about a hundred meters." She wasn't lying, not really. It was just rounding. From closer to 150. Maybe more.
But he wouldn't budge. "It really can't be worth the risk. Nothing valuable is left on this planet, especially in the no-man's land between the clans."
His voice was low, but she worried he'd get louder if they continued arguing. She risked a glance at their babysitters. They seemed to be in a heated discussion of some kind. Whatever it was, the women weren't paying attention to their charges.
And Ashley's weapon was stowed on her back.
Meeting her friend's gaze once more, Cass knew what she was going to do. And she knew he wouldn't like it.
Her eyes darted toward the sparkle she'd identified for a split second. Cass saw Vadix tense as though he'd physically hold her down in order to prevent her from placing herself in danger.
But she was up and sprinting before he could react beyond that.
When she heard nothing in the way of pursuit, she slowed to a jog, her swirling thoughts taking precedence over the need for speed.
Cass knew it was silly. She knew it was risky. It was probably nothing at all. But the thing had glistened in the sunlight, its edges catching the direct rays that earlier in the day had been more oblique. The likeness to her mother's necklace had been almost eerie.
But even through the rifle scope it hadn't been clear what exactly it was.
*CAUTION*
Her last memory of her mother Melinda, on the other hand, was clear as crystal. The sharp knock at the door had reverberated through the small apartment, echoed by soft chuckles from outside. They were contradictory sounds to Cass's young mind, and she had struggled to reconcile what could be the source of two such different noises. The mystery had consumed her mentally while she watched her mother approach their unexpected visitors waiting just beyond the threshold, waiting to take her away.
Then the door had opened, and the foremost man, hefting a terrifying gun, had smiled at Melinda like she was a particularly juicy piece of meat. Dread had split Cass's stomach, the sudden inexplicable shock freezing her in place.
Until her mother whirled around, met her daughter's wide eyes, and screamed "Get away!" It was enough to break the icy hold of fear's fingers and compel her teenager self into action. By some stroke of luck, Cass had been seated in the tiny kitchen, already mostly hidden behind the countertop's greasy bar. Her mother's shrieked demand was innocuous enough that the men must have thought she was yelling at them as she raced out of their immediate reach.
Melinda had tried, with relative success, to hide her addiction from her daughter. But, even as a young girl, Cass was nothing if not observant; her mother couldn't conceal it forever. When Cass was old enough she had started volunteering at a local hospital, thanks to a school friend's older brother who helped get her foot in the door. Quickly she noticed the similarities between her mother and some of the patients she could see through the windows. It didn't take long to realize they were all exhibiting symptoms of withdrawals.
Then, when the few valuables they possessed started disappearing, fourteen-year-old Cass recognized the gravity of the situation. She only wished she could do more for her despairing mother.
After all, it hadn't always been that way.
The last thing Cass had seen as she slipped under the table was her mother's hand, ripping the jewelry from her neck, breaking the fragile clasp, and flinging it across the room as she fled the frightening men.
The next thing Cass had heard was a gunshot, quickly followed by a soft whimper surrounded by heartless, lusty laughter.
*END*
The last thing she'd heard was the soft familiar whoosh of the automatic door, closing the chapter of her life spent in the erratic but loving company of her mother.
Now, standing over a simple piece of rock on a planet thousands of lightyears away from the setting of these terrifying memories, Cass was exhausted by the sadness she'd tried to lock away forever. She stooped into a crouch, reaching out a hand to touch the unassuming mineral.
A hint of orange seemed to shade the angular sides of it, the same shade as the land had looked from the Normandy's observation deck. Her fingers ran along the utterly straight edge until it stopped in a blunt corner.
It had to be the same thing her mother had worn. Instinctively Cass reached her other hand toward her neck, forgetting that she wore a space suit from neck to toe.
A gunshot landed less than a yard in front of her.
With a screech the woman leapt to her feet, away from the offensive bullet. Her eyes cast around, searching for the enemy gunman. As she looked to the left, a shine of silver metal seemed to blur, a sharp contrast from the haze of the planet. Cass turned some more, realizing what she was seeing.
Vadix was rushing toward her, his arms pumping with the effort.
In a daze, all Cass could do was stand there and wait for him.
She heard him before he reached her.
"What in the hell were you thinking?" he was demanding, his voice sounding choked.
It was the most colorful language she'd ever heard him use.
Then he was closer still and slowing from a dead sprint, gesturing toward something in front of her. His words grew louder, though whether it was due entirely to his increasing proximity, Cass couldn't say. "Do you have a death wish? That was a tarcfid, and you were just sitting there like a—" Vadix cut off the sentence, though his mouth was still moving, mandibles working furiously.
The danger slowly dawned on Cass—though she had no idea what a tarcfid was—and she gradually realized that this man had just saved her life.
When Vadix was within arm's reach she sprang at him, wrapping her arms around his armored cowl, and pressed her lips to his mouth plates.
His skin, if that was the right word, was as hard as marble, the lack of give (due to his lack of lips) catching her off guard. But, as an auto-response to her attack, the turian had gasped, leaving his mouth open for plundering.
Cass slid her tongue up and down across the edge of his upper mouth plate, and she discovered that the sharp concave shape was rather delightful. She smiled as she pressed her mouth to his, her hands sliding up against the ridges of his neck until her fingers threaded through his head crest. She felt, rather than heard, his answering reaction: it reverberated through his body, his armor, her armor, and into her body. Her legs wrapped around his waist as his talons wrapped around hers, holding their bodies tightly together, neither willing to break the bond they were beginning to forge, the romantic companion to their established camaraderie.
"Vadix," she whispered, eyes fluttering, not quite willing to believe she was really kissing him.
That he was kissing her!
But then she froze, her muscles recognizing the glaring truth before her mind was willing to do so.
He had a girlfriend.
Once she remembered, Cass was quick to disengage. She let go with her legs, dropping back to the ground, hands sliding down the front of his chest plate.
"Vadix, I'm so sorry," she soothed, desperate for him to believe her.
He still hadn't released his grip from her waist.
Deliberately she pushed against his armor, determined to set things right.
"Vadix, please forgive me," she pled with him. It would be devastating if they couldn't move past this blunder of hers. Silently she prayed to anyone who might be listening that he'd be lenient with her.
The man blinked several times, his eyes slowly focusing on the woman in front of him. As Cass watched, he seemed to grow more rigid in body but the expression on his face was quickly replaced several times over: desire, confusion, sadness, anger. Until he settled into a look of mute acceptance.
Cass wasn't sure what that meant for the pair of them.
"Say something," she begged.
He zeroed in on her, probably noting her increased heart rate, the flush that had spread across her cheeks—shit, he could probably even smell the scent of her arousal. Cass schooled her expression into one of humble penitence.
As she waited for him to determine their fate, she realized just how important he was to her.
Then he opened his mouth. "Of course," he said without emotion.
And then he walked away, unable to keep the longing from his eyes anymore and unwilling to let her see it.