Disclaimer: This author in no way profits from the writing of this story. All characters, dialogue, or other referenced material from the Mass Effect trilogy belong to BioWare.
Author's Note: This story does not necessarily follow any particular timeline and may not be considered chronologically accurate.
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You forgot some things at the house. Better come get them. See you on the ship.
What kind of a message was that anyway?
Cass was confused.
It seemed like every step forward in her own personal journey led to two steps backward in her friendship—relationship?—with Vadix.
What she really needed to do was just talk to him. She needed to explain how she felt, even if it meant getting her heart broken.
But after that dismissive message Cass figured he probably needed some space, so she opted against replying to his message, choosing instead to find her way back to the Ramraka's residence to retrieve her forgotten things, whatever they were.
It wasn't exactly surprising. She had packed in a bit of a hurry, given how upset she'd been at the conversation she'd overheard.
She'd probably overreacted, but she couldn't do anything about it now.
If only she could remember the right address.
Cass wandered around the halls of the Presidium for longer than she'd expected, wishing it didn't all look the same.
She was more accustomed to the Wards, covered with different advertisements and shops so you could easily find your way: right at the Fornax ad with the lilac asari, straight past the sketchy-looking weapon mods dealer, and right again when you hit the top of the stairs, third door on the left.
It was so much easier that way.
However, eventually, she did find what looked like the right door.
She hoped.
Tentatively, she rang the bell and stepped back, not entirely certain she was at the right place, and not entirely certain she wanted to see Vadix behind the door.
Trebaana appeared on the other side when the entrance slid open. The woman looked as surprised as Cass felt. "Hello!" she answered, her voice deep and rich. "I wasn't expecting you." It wasn't a question, but the human would have sworn she heard a question mark.
"I know, sorry. Vadix messaged me that I forgot something," she trailed off, wondering how much his mother knew about the situation.
About their situation.
Realization spread across her features and Trebaana replied, "Yes, of course. I wondered why he'd left something on the table so deliberately. Please, come in." She gestured for her visitor to enter, stepping to the side.
As Cass passed she was dwarfed by the tall alien, yet the feeling was somehow more comforting than overbearing, leaving behind a feeling of contentment and security.
Until she walked into the main room and saw her bra and panties perched atop the tabletop like they hadn't a care in the universe. Gasping, she rushed forward to grab the bundle and shove it into her bag.
"Is everything alright?" Trebaana sounded genuinely concerned.
Clearing her throat, Cass said awkwardly, "Yes, I'm so sorry you had to see that all morning."
The turian cocked her head in a silent question, the mirror image of her son.
So that's where he'd picked it up, the thought made Cass smile.
Trebaana's slow response was sincere. "I'm not sure to what you refer."
"Never mind, it's nothing." Of course it was probably nothing to her; it wasn't like turians had a need for such human undergarments. "Thank you, really. I'll get out of your hair now."
Again that slight tilt of the head appeared, along with a soft, if confused, smile. "If you're just trying to be polite, you really don't have to do that. Why don't you stay for a bit? I'd love to talk with you, if you have the time."
"Oh." Cass drew a blank, unsure if she wanted to leave, afraid that to stay would somehow be a breach of Vadix's trust.
"There's no need to rush back to the ship. I'm sure you need as long a break as possible." Her kind face was so genuine that the human couldn't resist.
"Okay," she grinned.
Following the older woman toward the living area, they both took a seat at either end of an off-white couch. Before they could stare at each other with nothing to say for too long, Trebaana asked, "How are you liking this particular job position?"
Did she know about her previous job position? Or her side gig? Cass couldn't hide the nervous giggle that slipped out. "Oh, well, it's different, for sure, but I really enjoy the challenge of it. I've learned a lot of things I had never even imagined doing." She kept it vague, unwilling to say too much and risk disappointing the Commander.
"What's been your favorite part?"
The question caught her off guard. It wasn't something anyone had asked up to that point. "I'm not sure," she began carefully, contemplating what her response might be. Her face twisted into a thoughtful expression, as she recalled the hand-to-hand combat training, the firearms, the sneaking, the first aid. Then of course there was the travel, the education in general, the interpersonal relationships.
And she had her answer.
Her voice was soft, and she couldn't meet the other woman's gaze as she replied, "Honestly I think the best part for me is feeling like I'm a part of something, like I'm doing something that matters with people who look out for and care about me."
She didn't see Trebaana's matching smile. "My son cares deeply for you," her tone like a caress.
Again Cass startled, her eyes jerking up to look at Vadix's mother, staring straight back without any sign of guile or contempt. She had no words, only a gaping mouth.
The turian's smile widened at her reaction. "I imagine he hasn't said anything overt to you, but as the person who knows him best it's easy to see."
"You can't," Cass began, fumbling with the words. "I mean, you're not…upset?"
For a moment Trebaana simply watched her, quiet and pensive. Then she moved into the center of the couch where she could easily reach the human's folded body. Gently she placed a hand on Cass's knee, pondering how to explain.
"There's nothing in this universe quite like the way a mother feels for her child, the bond that exists between them. Many do not demonstrate it, and some even repress it, yet it remains. And while any living creature comes with expectations, the one that matters most to me is his happiness."
A heavy pause settled in the air, and then, "And something tells me you're going to add to his happiness, which is all I want."
Cass felt one side of her mouth quirk up. It had been twelve years since Melinda Arvius had been physically removed from her daughter, but even longer since the emotional removal. The thought nearly turned the grown woman to tears, fearing the loss had somehow maimed her own ability to connect with other people.
That was what she had fought all these years. She'd fought to maintain her ability to care, and she'd fought for someone to care for her in return.
"Darling," Trebaana's warm voice embraced her as her talons tenderly held her cheeks. "Does he make you happy?"
She didn't even have to think as the water welled in her eyes and she vigorously shook her head, "Yes." Choking back a sob that clenched her heart, Cass continued, "He makes me feel whole."
Seeming to contemplate this, the other woman slowly nodded her head as her hands dropped back to Cass's knee. "Good. I should hate to think the happiness was one-sided. Just remember that you don't need a man to be complete. If you feel accepted with him—or any man—like you can be your true self, that is how it should be. On the other hand, if you feel you need his approval in order to do something, to say something, to be something—well, that's an entirely separate issue."
Cass forced a smile, genuine though it was, through the emotion pouring out of her. "That's exactly how I feel. I mean, that's essentially what I tell my clients: you can't build a successful relationship when one or both parties can't exist without the other."
"Oh? I didn't realize you were a therapist," Trebaana said smoothly, absentmindedly rubbing her thumb across the human's leg.
A blush of embarrassment rattled her face. "Well, sort of," Cass hedged. "It's complicated." Please don't probe, she hoped silently.
Luckily the maternal turian wasn't one to pry when the subject made the other person uncomfortable. Instead she broached an entirely separate—awkward—topic, "Do you want to have children of your own some day?"
Cass felt her mouth drop open in total shock.
"I only ask because it's something to be aware of, something important, but not something most young people consider at the onset of a relationship." Her expression turned sad, almost grim. "When all you feel is a giddy sense of joy, the thrill of courtship, the satisfaction of being wanted—it's hard to imagine the future beyond a few months, maybe a year. I know I wasn't thinking about children when Dartius and I first met and soon became exclusive. Had I known then, I still wouldn't change a thing. You, on the other hand, know from the beginning that it won't be possible."
The human's confusion must have shown, still trying to catch up with the sudden turn of conversation.
"I married someone of my same species, someone with whom I should have been able to have children. You and my son, well, it's obvious that will never be an option."
Realization stalled her brain and Cass began to wonder what exactly she wanted from her future.
Trebaana continued when her guest remained silent. "Of course, I thank the spirits every day for the gift of Vadix, as we had already begun to lose hope—the adoption process for our species is a long and arduous one which does not often bear fruit in a judicious manner. Most couples wait nearly a decade to become parents; we only waited four years.
"While I'm unfamiliar with the process for couples seeking to adopt a human child, I would not wish you to expect one future for yourself, choose my son, and then find that it isn't everything you've always wanted. As I told him, staying in love is never as easy as falling in love, and the realities of life often make that even more difficult. But if you go in with a reasonable understanding of the possibilities, that's a better start than most."
Still Cass reeled.
Never before had she even thought about giving birth, having and raising a child. It seemed utterly preposterous.
Yet listening to Trebaana speak about her own experience incited a small yearning within her, like an infrequent dream she'd long ago experienced but never recognized or remembered.
Perhaps it was something to consider. Eventually.
"I'm not sure what's going to happen in our immediate future," Cass murmured, eyes glazed as the wheels turned in her head. "But I'll keep that in mind." She smiled gingerly, troubled by the overall concept.
Her mother had all but abandoned her. It wasn't a great example to start with, even if the redhead decided she did want children.
All she knew was that Vadix made her feel safe and wanted, simply for being herself.
Cass was pleased with who she was, and she'd finally found someone who seemed to feel the same.
Trebaana spoke softly but the young woman didn't hear the words, feeling as though she were in a trance. The turian rose from the sofa and began moving around the kitchen. Several minutes later, Cass was still struggling to come to terms with the legacy left to her by her own mother.
It was an internal battle she regularly waged, her opponent now emboldened by the added layer of potential motherhood.
Was it something she actually desired?
Was it bad if she didn't?
What if all she wanted was to live in the present, enjoy sharing her body and mind and soul with someone who appreciated all of her, someone whom she could appreciate equally?
After everything Trebaana had said, Cass felt like she should be thinking long term, making decisions now based on a future she should be able to picture.
But she couldn't see it.
And she didn't want to play the long game.
But at least she now knew what she did want.
When she pulled out of her reverie, Cass noticed a cup of something warm on the table next to her, but Trebaana was nowhere to be found. She called her name, softly at first then louder several times.
No response.
Perhaps she'd stepped out and the human had been so engrossed in her own thoughts that she hadn't noticed.
Gratefully she drank the tea as quickly as she could, the heat of it spreading into her blood and bones, igniting the tinder gathered in her mind. Determination steeled, Cass grabbed her bag and dashed away from the airy room.
The brightness and cheer of the Ramraka's home was too much at odds with the lascivious ideas snaking in her mind.