Disclaimer: This author in no way profits from the writing of this story. All characters, dialogue, or other referenced material from the Mass Effect trilogy belong to BioWare.
Author's Note: This story does not necessarily follow any particular timeline and may not be considered chronologically accurate.
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Cass felt too much restless energy to return to the Normandy, and some part of her refused to message Vadix and set up a meeting place. What if he didn't want to see her? Instead, she wandered with resolve and soon found herself at her favorite haunt in front of the Presidium's artificial lake.
It was as though nothing had changed: the same people doing the same things and looking exactly the same.
And yet, in just over a month, Cass felt like everything had changed: her life, her feelings, her experiences, not to mention her living situation and the unexpected travel. A year ago—hell, even a month ago—she never would have guessed she would be the person she'd become.
She felt different, but she felt good.
Above all else, the woman had always wanted to help others, to change lives.
She'd never expected it would be her own life that would change, so much for the better.
No more subservience to someone who didn't appreciate her, no more overworked and underpaid at a job she didn't particularly enjoy, and no more clawing shadows that constantly plagued her every thought and deed.
Having put the past truly behind her, Cass was free to live in the moment, to express herself as she liked and to want the things she did. Beyond that, she finally felt like her actions actually held meaning. It wasn't like she was creating a single drop of water in a desert, one client at a time; no, she was now a part of a tidal wave, ever increasing in momentum and power, building toward a better future for all living creatures.
It was like she'd found her calling.
Perhaps she'd even found her future.
Staring at the still water, her mind was in chaos. The desire to be with Vadix, the drive to make a difference, the potential of motherhood, the wish to be without structured limits, the pull toward meaningful relationships and ties, the promise of an untamed life… everything inside of her was warring for a position of authority.
The only thing that remained to be seen was which of them would win.
"Cassana!"
Her head tilted up at the sound of her name, meeting the cerulean gaze of the turian she'd seen for the first time a mere 36 days previous, jogging toward her instead of away like he had then.
Cass's breath caught in her throat, and a victor was crowned in her mind.
"What are you doing here?" Vadix asked as he neared her. "I assumed you would be back on the ship already. Did you get your things from my house?"
Immediately a blush stole across her cheeks at the thought of him handling her unmentionables. "Yes, you brute! I can't believe you left them out like that for your mother to see. What must she think of us now?" she mused, looking away from the eyes that gave her shivers.
A short silent laugh huffed out of him. "Well, she has ears. So, I don't know what role your clothing would play in any assessment of us, but she heard enough to draw an accurate conclusion of what happened."
The human's eyes widened, the edges drying at the unfamiliar rush of air. Then she smacked his arm with her hand, immediately regretting the decision at the pain that wormed into her skin. "You mean to tell me that she knew?" Fuck, Cass silently swore. That meant Trebaana had known everything while they'd talked that afternoon. "She must think I'm such a whore."
The words slipped out, nearly silent.
But not quiet enough.
Roughly Vadix gripped her upper arms and pulled her close to his body, nearly lifting her feet from the ground. "Don't you dare think that for a second," he hissed, his tongue peeking out from between his teeth. "You are no such thing."
His vehemence was surprising, and Cass wondered if she'd struck a nerve she didn't know about.
Interesting.
Mute for the moment, the woman lightly patted his chest until he put her down once more. Eager to change the subject, she asked, "So. What were you up to just now?"
"Oh, that." He turned away, pacing a couple of steps before he turned around again. "I visited a friend at work. Happened to see you down here on my way back to the docks. Very distinctive hair, you know." When he offered a lopsided grin she'd never seen before, Cass thought she might have fallen even more in love with him.
But his words gave her pause.
"Where does your friend work?" she enquired, intrigued.
Vadix lifted his hands noncommittally. "In the embassies. Uh, how was your brunch?" As he spoke, she watched the man's body tense, his voice and muscles tightening at the final word.
Another interesting tidbit.
"Are you jealous?"
The question was out in the open before she could think to filter it.
But then, she wanted to know the answer.
He watched her for a moment, eyes bright above his wafting mandibles. Finally he murmured, "Well, that depends." His voice was dark with…something.
Cass took a step toward him. "On what?" Her own voice was breathy. She hardly recognized it.
Closing the distance between them, Vadix took a step as well. "On what you want."
She looked into his face, not quite comprehending. "On what I want?" she repeated, the air between them brimming with the words.
The turian shrugged, like he hadn't a care in the world. But the intensity in his eyes told a different story. "Or whom."
"Whom?" The space that separated their bodies couldn't have been more than the thickness of his palm.
"On whom you want," he clarified, volume low, tone alluring.
Unable to think clearly, Cass could still only repeat his short statement like a parroting pet. "On whom I want?" His proximity was intoxicating.
This time he didn't answer. Vadix simply nodded, never dropping his gaze, waiting for something from her.
But she couldn't give it to him without knowing what it was.
The silence lengthened and the world around her faded.
There was only her and him. She and he. Cass and Vadix.
"I've thought about you every day since I first saw you here," she breathed, unable to look away. "I could see the pain inside and immediately I wanted to uncover it, discover you."
"Here?" Vadix questioned, not understanding what she was saying. "We met at the docks, dearest," he murmured as he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, seemingly fascinated by the texture.
Shaking her head, she grasped his hand with her own. "The day before," she explained, voice no louder than a whisper, "I saw you running. There were two asari watching you and, when you turned from them, you looked at me. And I felt like, for the first time, someone was seeing all of me."
Now the turian's eyes widened almost imperceptibly. "That was you," he hummed, and Cass could feel the vibrations ebbing out of him. "Of course it was you," Vadix added like it was an afterthought he hadn't intended to share.
The confession burned her tongue, impatient for its own arrival. "It's always been you," she swallowed. "Ever since then, it's always been you."
His brow plates drew together slowly, his turn to work through the conundrum presented between them. "But," Vadix began, "what about Duron?"
"What do you mean?" She was still holding his talons against her face.
Vadix tilted his head, his expression bare and unsure.
She loved him for it.
"I mean, you had 'brunch'. Didn't you…" he trailed off, unwilling to finish the thought aloud.
It took a long moment for her to follow his train of thought.
When it hit her, she nearly laughed at the insinuation. Instead, she made a choking noise to keep from embarrassing him. "No, no, nothing happened. Vadix, we only ate and talked." With tentative hands, she cupped his face, so much taller than her own, bringing her torso into contact with his. "Don't you see? We talked about you."
His expression lifted, like the news was somehow glorious and celestial.
But then the turian's face fell, breaking eye contact, and Cass felt her heart crumple just a bit. "What's wrong?" she probed.
"I don't deserve you," he mumbled, still looking at anything but her. "I have to tell you something."
As though they had a mind of their own, his hands slipped down to her sides, rubbing up and down her bare arms like her skin was a balm to his uneasy mind. The woman stood flat on her feet, palms resting against his chest. She prompted him, "Well?"
With a hefty sigh, Vadix began to explain. "When I got your message about Duron, I sort of, well, lost it. I went to see Juvelea because I just felt so…I don't know, frustrated. Like something was missing and I needed to get it back right that instant. Actually, I don't think I've ever felt so crazed. I still don't understand it," his voice got quiet before he continued. "But, ultimately, nothing happened. She helped me realize that you were the one I wanted, not her."
Finally his eyes lifted to look at her grey irises, as soft and cloudy as cumulous. "I don't deserve you," Vadix repeated. "At the first test of affection, I failed. I failed you." He said this emphatically as he looked away again, as though it was the only possible conclusion.
Cass, like always, was quick to argue. "Vadix," she forced him to meet her gaze once more. "We've both made mistakes, had some hiccups along the way. But look where it's brought us." The redhead drew herself closer once more, standing on tiptoe. "This makes me so happy. You make me so happy. That's all I want."
As he observed her for several heartbeats, Cass's own heart stuttered. He could still turn away.
What if he chose not to stay?
Would she regret having been so vulnerable?
No, she answered her own question with all the mental force she could muster.
Being completely honest with him was the best decision she could have made.
Eventually, he broke the silence and the tension.
"Okay."
Cass stared at him, not sure if she was really hearing this. "Okay?" she repeated.
"Yeah," the turian shrugged. "Okay."
Jumping toward him, she threw her arms around his cowl and nuzzled his neck, unable to contain her joyous enthusiasm.
She didn't know what would happen tomorrow, in a month, nor in a year. Hell, they could be dead in a year, obliterated by a sentient machine race determined to harvest all the complex life in the galaxy.
But at least they had now, here, to share with each other.
"Okay," she said again, pulling back slightly to look at his face again. "If we're going to do this, let's do it right."
His brow plates again mashed together. "What do you mean?"
Using her fingers to gesture between them, the woman clarified, "You and me, completely exclusive. No secrets, no games. Just you and me and all the feelings."
"All the feelings?" Vadix enquired, one brow plate jumping up from the other. "What kinds of feelings are we talking about here?"
Cass shrugged, miming his second-favorite motion. "All the feelings. Love, dislike, interest, curiosity, embarrassment, regret, longing, boredom, insecurity, tolerance, want," she listed, considering. "I don't want there to be anything we can't talk about, nothing is taboo. Open, honest communication is key."
She was so definitive in her directive, it made the turian smile. "Okay," he agreed. "All the feelings it is." Tugging her closer, Vadix embraced his partner, content with the added title they could share.
When he'd left Juvelea's office, he had felt so sure about his wish to explain everything to Cassana, his desire to be with her in every way possible. He had been rushing back to the Normandy as quickly as he could, eager to clear the air while he still had the guts to do it—so quickly, in fact, that he almost hadn't noticed her standing only a couple floors below the balcony where he'd been, her hair a raucous flame that called to him even from a distance.
Then he'd approached her and begun to question everything he'd thought, everything he'd felt.
He knew he'd messed up, had made an ass of himself. It wasn't his proudest moment, but the man thought if he could perhaps grovel just enough, then maybe she would give him a chance.
If she even still wanted him.
Vadix had worried she wouldn't want anything to do with him outside of their working relationship, not with another turian likely watching and waiting for her.
He had been scared his golden opportunity had passed and she would be beyond his reach.
Now, a corner of his emotional state still felt the weight of having wronged Juvelea, but he realized it wasn't something he could fix. Not now, and maybe not ever.
But at least he would do everything he could not to make that mistake again.
No, Vadix would cherish what he had with Cassana every day, learn from her, challenge her, share his life with her in whatever way she let him.
They would be equals, and they would push each other to be better, teach each other, together.
Which led him to his biggest fear: if only he could bring something sexual of value to the table.
She was cultured and experienced, a goddess, an acolyte of sensuality, with her pick of men.
For some unknown reason he still didn't understand, she had picked him.
And he was terrified of disappointing her.
At least he knew she would teach him well in that regard.
The thought made his tongue curl, the feeling of lust unfurling in his mind and body.
Lust is a feeling, he thought with a start.
And Cassana had insisted on all the feelings.
Perhaps they could start there.
"Cassana," he began, clenching his mandibles against the craving now flooding his veins. "You specifically requested we share 'all' the feelings, yes?"
She looked up to meet his downward gaze, grinning like a kotzche, like she knew something he didn't. "I think I rather demanded it, don't you?"
Swallowing loudly, he forced the burning question beyond his mouth plates. "Where exactly does desire fall on the scale of importance?"
The human's eyes narrowed and her smile grew impossibly wider, hiding her teeth behind sensual lips. Then she answered him, "Right now? Right at the fucking top."
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Apologies for posting a day late! I spent most of yesterday more than 30,000 feet above the ground and without internet access. But, better late than never - and we're finally getting to some closure for these two hooligans! Next chapter will be the last in this second part of three. The third and final iteration won't have a lot of romance, as they'll largely be focused on their assigned mission, but there are still some secrets to be revealed...