"Brainwashing?" Giles shifted uneasily at the question from Dawn who looked very sceptical with her arms folded. "Isn't that crossing the line of things we should not be messing with… like ever?" The young woman asked the Englishman.

"I wouldn't call it brainwashing," the Englishman sighed feeling double his years. It was as though living on the hellmouth aged a person faster and more harshly than anywhere else. He would rather take a cold brutal day in the English country than here. "The spell," he began to explain, "only compels one to act. It does not control or alter one's mind but rather…" he paused choosing his words carefully before continuing. "Instructs or suggests to one to leave Sunnydale."

Dawn didn't look convinced and neither did Anya sitting next to her. "Sounds dangerously close to brainwashing to me."

No wonder he could barely look at them, as well as why he kept running his hand through his hair. And he hadn't even started with the rubbing of the glasses yet. Where oh where in his Watchers Handbook did it have a chapter to prepare him for this most unwelcome conversation. "The people of this town will still have all their personality and control of their reasoning," he argued. "The spell will just… act as a hint or suggestion for them to get out of town quickly."

"By brainwashing them," Anya deadpanned causing Giles to give up and sigh in defeat.

"Evil is upon us," he spoke up. "The First is sure to be plotting their next move and who knows how serious and deadly it maybe. Some of us must stand before it," he gestured at themselves. "But the people of this town are not prepared for such an event. This spell simply will take them out of harms way," he fixed both women with a serious look. "There will be casualties in this battle I'm just trying to keep the numbers down to a minimum."

Neither woman looked completely happy with his reasoning but didn't argue the case any longer. There were bigger and more serious battles to be won. "So, when do you cast it?" Dawn asked the older man.

"I already asked Willow to cast it," Giles stated. He sincerely wanted the ground to open and swallow him given their facial expressions. And he noted the use of the word 'asked' recalling how difficult it had been to convince Willow to even consider doing such a spell. The long hours during the summer where he had worked to rebuild the fragile woman he had met as a girl was seemingly thrown out of the moment due to the demands of current events.

"And Willow agreed?" Dawn asked him in disbelief.

"That she did," Giles replied praying that the young woman would not demand details on his 'conversation' with the local witch. Thankfully the former key simply hugged herself a little harder.

"When is she going to be back?" Anya asked.

"Hopefully soon," Giles stated. Without Willow they were down a powerful player, and their ranks were pretty stretched thin. If the First would attack them now they would be rather defenceless. 'That's right old man look on the bright side of life' Giles mused to himself. "We just need to stick together until then… there can be no distractions."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Buffy frowned as she adjusted the off the shoulder top she tired on. The feel of the fabric against her skin was very nice and it clung to her and with the cut-out detail it certainly gave it a sexy look. She looked in the mirror turning and did her best to examine the garment. She couldn't help but cupped her breasts, adjusting them slightly before sighing a little. She had to admit that she looked good, it would be something she would wear in the summer or probably a nightclub what with the leather pants she was wearing.

She smiled a little as she looked down at the pair she was wearing and could help but give the mirror a sultry pose before giggling inwardly. 'Oh yeah, I'm looking gooood,' she thought. 'R.J will love this!' She shivered a little as she straightened up and frowned as she looked at herself in the mirror. It wasn't the first time she'd had such a thought consciously, but it startled her a little. She had worn ultra revealing outfits in front of R.J and… worn nothing at all if she was honest. But still was she wearing this for R.J? She had to admit it was the kind of ultra-revealing outfit that the adolescent male would no doubt go wild over. So maybe she was dressing to please him. What was wrong with that? He'd been a great… friend to her since… their hook ups all started. He deserved a little something extra, didn't he? She eyed the few other bags of shopping by the dressing room door on the floor that she had already purchased and grimaced. Now she was dressing and buying things to turn him on… great.

Well in a way it was great. A highlight to another week of planning, researching, worrying, stressing and dealing with the First. Clothes shopping was a break from what was now the norm. Least she got to be playful and fun here rather than dull and serious at her own house. That reminded her she needed to get the shopping done. She got changed back into her regular clothes and decided against buying the items. She already had enough items already. So she headed to the supermarket that was attached to the mall. The food shopping was a seemingly never-ending task. Like seriously when did this the list end? She couldn't act so surprise given how many potential slayers were now hold up in her house. Some where now staying at Xander's place. So many mouths to feed meant lots of food.

She had just placed the very last bag in her boot when she heard someone calling out her name. "I'm sorry Buffy Summers?" she turned and was a little startled there was R.J walking up towards her with an older woman… dear god it was his mother!" "Buffy Summers?" Rachel Brooks repeated.

Buffy opened her mouth and thankfully her brain kicked into gear. "Mrs Brooks! R.J!" Her secret lover who looked very uneasy followed his mother who was walking up to Buffy.

"See I told you it was her!" R.J's mother nudged her son. "I'm sorry I'm Janet," she said to Buffy offering her hand to the slayer who shook it. "We met earlier in the year at the parent teacher's night."

"Yes of course," Buffy said politely. "How are you both?"

"Oh, just getting some shopping done… as are you I see," the woman replied noting the sheer number of bags and groceries in the back of Buffy's jeep. Was the blonde feeding an army or something?

"Dawn!" Buffy quickly blurted out trying to play off the bags. "My little sister is planning some slumber party! Never enough food in the house for one of those!" The woman nodded having played host to few parties over the years.

"Well, I just came over to thank you for all you have done for R.J," the woman beamed with pride. "I know you have been counselling him and it has done him the world of good to have someone to talk to."

"Mum!" R.J hissed embarrassed, but his mother ignored him.

"It was nothing…" Buffy shifted awkwardly.

"Oh hush!" Janet dismissed Buffy's attempt of playing it off. "I can see he has been much happier and in fact, so I am with the idea of someone looking out for him." She would have said more but her phone went off and she stepped aside to take the call. R.J opened his mouth to explain but Buffy shot him a warning look to stay silent. R.J's mother stepped back over to them. "But I thought I had signed that?!... Yes, no I understand I will be right over… no I want to move forward on this… okay see you soon." She sighed putting her phone away. "That was my lawyer I have to go and sign something for the new house," she told R.J.

"How long will that take?" R.J asked her.

"An hour or so," Janet replied apologetic. "I can come back and pick you up or you can take a bus home." R.J rolled his eyes clearly not happy about it.

Seeing the exchange Buffy felt compelled to speak up. "Well, I could take R.J home," she suggested. "I'm heading back soon and it's on my way back anyway."

Janet instantly brightened and was won over again. "Oh, that would be fantastic! If it's no trouble?" Buffy shook her head. "Oh, thank you so much just with the new house and the divorce it's such a mess!" She offered Buffy another thanks and a goodbye to both her and her son before heading off.

"Well, that was surreal," Buffy commented.

"I honestly didn't know you were going to be here!" R.J protested. "She just saw you down here and made a beeline for you!"

"Don't worry I believe you," Buffy replied with a light amusement at the boy's squirming before she asked. "What did she mean by new house?"

"Well," R.J began. "My parents are selling our current one and moving away to another one… away from my father… near my aunt in San Francisco…" he trailed off looking rather ashamed. Away from her father and this cursed town and away from her was hanging in the air. She couldn't blame the woman from wanting to move away from all the craziness and insanity from this town. Only the other day Principal Wood was talking about finally biting the bullet and close the school. The energy from the hellmouth was growing increasingly powerful and affecting the school population to the point where it couldn't be ignored. But then she would never see him again not that she wasn't meant to be seeing at the present. "I don't want to go!" R.J spoke up breaking Buffy from her thoughts. "I don't want to leave and travel away I want to stay here with… you." He added.

Buffy sighed a little knowing what he was really meaning. "You can't stay here, and you can't be here with me."

"I know! I know! Rules are rules!" R.J muttered in frustration kicking away a can. He was fed up rules.

"We just have to enjoy what time we have left… and break a few other rules," she winked at him a little getting his attention.

"What kind of rules?" he asked unable to be anything but interested.

She smirked at him. "I think I got a fun idea in mind." She headed back to the shop she was in earlier and he did so on his own. They were on opposite sides of the shop and bless him he looked totally out of his depth in the shop surrounded by the all the luxury items and lingerie on display. She couldn't help but enjoy seeing him look like a deer in headlights as the shop assistant asked him if he was looking for anything in particular. Fortunately for him her attention was taken by another customer. Seeing their opportunity Buffy caught R.J's attention and motioned for him to go to the changing rooms. She followed him there after a moment after picking out one or two items. The second they were in a changing room she was all over him. Hands roaming his shoulders, her lips on neck and face and her body rubbing up against him. She had been missing him more than she would ever admit and needed him now. She smiles happily after hearing R.J's soft moan of content. The boy in question was meanwhile was revelling in the feel of kissing Buffy Summers and having her in his arms. He was savouring every second. A voice in the back of his mind wanted more, wanted to tell her how she meant to him and how much he… he put that out of his mind for the moment. Being able to have sex with the gorgeous Buffy Summers was too amazing to waste brain cells on any other thoughts.

Buffy let out a small purr escape her lips as she felt R.J's breath brush against her ear as he softly said her name into her ears. She reached her hand up to caress his face as she continues to grind against him. She let another whimper escape as she felt R.J's warm lips begin to press against the column of her neck. Every touch of his lips to her neck sent jolts of electricity running up and down her body but she had a little idea in my mind. She managed to prize herself from his arms and stepped back putting a little distance between them. He looked like he would protest but she held up her hand to stop him. "Just a second… and turn around," she instructed him. He looked like he might protest again but she silenced him with a look that promised great sexual pleasure in his future. He huffed a little but turned around and she quickly changed into what she had picked up from inside the shop while his back was turned.

"You can turn around now," she told him seductively.

He did so and was rewarded with the sight of her standing before him in nothing, but a red bra and thong set that was almost non-existent and posing for his viewing pleasure. She was sinful package wrapped in lace.

"Buffy!" He let out holding himself against the wall for fear of passing out. She smirked at his reaction then advanced on him; her intent plainly written in her smoky eyes. They kissed passionately savouring the taste of each other. She bit his lip gently as she undid his belt dropping it. She wanted him now as she pushed off his jacket before attacking his t-shirt. He didn't have the muscles of the Rock or abs of a Greek God, but he was firm and hard in all the right places. "I always thought these places had cameras," muttered R.J breathlessly as he undid his jeans.

"Then wave and let's give them a good show," Buffy whispered back against his lips too far gone to think about the consequences now. Her new bra and thong were now on the floor while his jeans and boxers were pushed down to his ankles. Picking her up and pressing her against a wall he lined himself to her pussy as she wrapped her legs around him urging him on. He pushed inside her pussy and they both let out a moan. "Mmm back where you belong," she let out sultry as she adjusted herself on him.

"God, nowhere I would rather be," he groaned as he fully sheathed himself inside her. She felt amazing as he began to slowly build a rhythm, clapping his pelvis under her thighs, Buffy gripped his shoulders as she matched his thrust her whole body bouncing against him capturing his lips with hers and kissing the hell out of him. The teenager relished the feel of her lips and her pussy as he thrusted into her. She was so sinful and erotic, his every fantasy in a small compact package. He kissed her jaw, the hollow of her throat and the skin of her neck as he crashed into her loving every second.

Buffy bit her lip from crying out as all lights in her brain had been flickered out and all she focused on was the sex. The sex always made an easy to forget the impending doom that the First posed when they were together. And they had a lot of sex. They were always seeking away to have sex multiple times a day. The blonde was always stoic and serious at her house but when they were alone, she was so wanton with her passions. She loved how well she commanded his body and pushed his boundaries regularly with her. They had even done anal on his birthday to his utter amazement. "Mmm… mmm… Yessss!" Buffy moaned unable to stop herself from expressing her delight. "Yes! I love it! Ah! Harder, R.J! Fuck me harder!" her moaning filled his ears as their musk filled the room. He panted and gave her his best and then he groaned into her shoulder spilling into her in hard spurts as she gasped and fell into her own climax.

She rocked forward a bit more as he slowly softened within her. Another low moan escaped her throat as he lowered her a little to her feet. Buffy's arms went loose around R.J's body as he clung to her tightly, with his head buried in her neck. "So, R.J," Buffy said. "I got two questions."

"Hmmm," came his only reply as he breathed in her scent.

"First did you like the lingerie? Cause I might have one or two more items back in my car…" she giggled into his skin as she heard him groan into her hair.

R.J didn't even bother confirming what she already knew merely asked, "and the second?"

Buffy pulled back to look him in the eyes. "How many times do you think you can fuck me at your place before your mom gets home?" She asked him all seductive and smoky. She could already feel her nipples begin to harden against his chest. His low growl told her he could feel that too.

The answer was several times.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Faith the vampire slayer and Giles along with several potentials entered the Summers house through the front door. "Whoa. Memory Lane. Same old house," Faith commented looking around the house. In the living room Dawn got up grimly.

"Well truth is everything has been destroyed once or twice, so it's kind of newish," Giles answered the dark-haired Slayer, as he hung up his coat while the potentials headed to the kitchen.

Dawn Summers came from the living room to the hall glaring at Faith. "Faith," she said very unimpressed before turning to Giles. "A new houseguest?"

Before Giles could reply Faith spoke up. "Hey, got a spare bed for a wanted fugitive?" she asked playfully.

Giles sighed. "She is part of this whether we like it or not," he explained to Dawn who didn't look happy about it.

"Well, I guess "wanted" wasn't really accurate," Faith muttered to herself.

Dawn crossed her arms. "Does she have to stay here? Because there's some nice hotels that welcome tried-to-kill-your-sister types."

Faith was perturbed, and tried to cover it up by saying, "Check it out. Brat's all woman-sized," Faith hated herself in that moment. She didn't know why exactly, but she was falling back into old habits. Back in LA while helping to get Angel back she had felt scared: taking on a rock monster and the Scourge of Europe weren't things not to get scared she had also been confident in her own abilities, and most importantly confident in who exactly she was, and what she was not. But now that she was here, once again, in Sunnydale, the place where her descent into darkness all began, where the people she had wronged the most all lived, she felt as insecure, out of place, and terrified as when she first got here, and she was once again trying to cover that insecurity up with boasts and an all-chipper-here attitude. She was pained but dug up a smile and said, "Come on, we can play monopoly together."

Xander arrived entering the front door himself raising an eyebrow at Faith standing there in the hallway. "Faith," he muttered, surprised, but mostly uninterested.

"Oh, hey X-man," Faith said nervously turning around but trying to cover it up. "If the squirt won't let me sleep in her bed, I can always join you in yours, right?"

Silence reigned for a few moments, as Xander's neutral gaze bores into Faith's eyes. Trying to kill him had left an impression, a big one. Xander couldn't just push it aside and pretend nothing happened, but neither could he ignore the pained expression on Faith's face. Oh, she managed to hide it will, but he knew that look far too well, it was too often in the mirror. "Right," he gave in a short reply before turning around to see Dawn and Giles. "Buffy not around?"

Faith felt relief running in her. It was obvious she wasn't forgiven, and Xander didn't seem to be inclined to do it anytime soon, but at least it didn't seem she had completely burned that bridge down to absolutely nothing. There was still hope meanwhile Dawn shook her head. "She went out on patrol an hour ago," she turned confused to Giles frowned. "I would have thought you would have caught up with her?"

Giles shifted on his feet frowning himself. "Yes, it appears she wasn't in the usual areas."

"Should we be worried?" Dawn asked the older man.

Faith made a face. "Oh, come on it's B, the girl has got more lives than a cat. I'm sure she is fine." She rolled her eyes as Dawn shot her a dark look. She didn't need the younger girl's anger.

Xander couldn't help but flinch a little at that comment while his mind began to question where Buffy might be. His mind went a dark place as he recalled Spike's words and his revelation about Buffy's activities. Nobody noticed apart from Faith noticed as unknown to him Xander's body language betrayed that much; Faith had enough time learning to read body language inside prison. Hell, everyone's body language was screaming out. Gone was the quirky back and forth, the loving teasing and the jokes. It was grim and business. How could things have gotten this bad? This just couldn't be all this First Evil's doing. Xander seemed to come a decision. "I will head out and drive around have a look for her," he announced to the group.

Dawn nodded. "Willow called, she says she's staying in the hospital," Dawn replied referring to the wounded girl at the hospital. "Maybe someone should go to her?"

Giles nodded. "I'll go."

Xander said his goodbyes and Giles left to heading to the separate ways leaving just Dawn and Faith. The younger woman eyed the brunette before departing leaving Faith to smirk to herself. "Home sweet home," she muttered to herself.

Across town at the motel where she regularly went these days Buffy was pouting and the expression on her face was a mixture of innocence, predatory, and sly sexiness. Her eyes shone with confident power, her body was in a position that screamed 'Sex!' and so were her clothes. Shiny, short black high heels supported stocking covered legs that went up and up, and the muscles in her legs were defined, showing strength yet softness. A small black skirt didn't even come half-way her knees. Her belly button was visible, and above that was a loose blouse, but tight enough show off her breasts. She was in short wearing a parody of secretary outfit.

Before was R.J wearing something similar but not actually his previous magical sport's jacket. He was slightly breathless at the sight of the wet dream of a woman. "I just can't help but have feelings for you," Buffy said all lovestruck and full of want to pretend she was under the influence of a love spell. "I have been trying to fight it, trying to resist but they are just too powerful."

R.J tried to reply but his voice cracked. Buffy smirked superiority at his mental hesitation. He cleared his throat and tried again. "It's okay," he replied trying to play it cool. "You have the right to be happy."

She smiled a little while keeping her mouth suggestively open. "It's just every time I see you, I have thoughts about you running into mind… all kinds of thoughts," she finished in a husky manner.

"But you are a teacher, and I am a student," R.J told her playing along with her little roleplay. However, his acting skills were below par compared to Buffy's. "We can't do anything."

The blonde's mouth curled into a sly smile, and slowly started walking towards him. The teen held his breath, for she didn't just walk, she glided forward, her hips swaying in a suggestive manner: 'I am sex incarnate, I'm the best fuck you could possibly imagine.' "When I see you… I know I am meant to think of myself as your teacher, that this is wrong and forbidden and everything else… but seeing you at school… in a classroom… here and now," Buffy described all breathless and seductive. "It just makes me want to do so many… bad things with you." She finally came up to him pressing herself against him and looking into his eye with all the desire and want. "Oh, believe me… I want to do so many bad things with you."

Considering he had already done a range of bad things with Buffy, R.J gulped remembering a few of them. "We can't be do… doing this!" he hissed as Buffy pressed her breasts firmly on his chest. His hands couldn't help but go to her hips. She was wearing that perfume he loved.

"But please… I want it," she whined a little into his neck as she gripped him harder. "I want you. I want you so bad." He was dying for her and couldn't hold back as he gathered her in his arms, and she couldn't help but let out a delighted squeal as their lips met. Tongues clashed, hands went to sensitive places and moans were let out as the couple made out hungrily. They couldn't get enough of each other as they both gripped, tasted and fed off each other's lust and desire. Lovers for past five months now, and quite comfortable and pleasurable in that phase of their relationship they both knew how to turn each other on even with clothes on. Buffy however wanted to move things forward to the next level pushing him down on the bed. She kicked off her heels while undoing her skirt letting it fall to ground, her top was next to fall in front of a stunned and horny R.J. She had a sensuous, primal way about all her movements that made his body tingle. Knowing she had his every attention she moved between his legs undoing his belt. His shoes and jeans were removed before she slipped a familiar hand into his boxers stroking him.

"Buffy!" he gulped at her hand touching him down here. "God Buffy!" He let out as she did the impossible and made him even harder. She smirked at the sight of him pulling off his boxers and tossing them away making a big show off checking him out.

"Oh! You're so big!" she gushed still playing the part of a lovesick woman under the control of his magical jacket. Lowering herself to him she slowly stroked him as she aimed the head towards her open mouth. Taking a deep breath, Buffy began lowering her face down into his length. Not stopping at all, she managed to take him all the way down her throat, her lips wrapped around the base of his cock. Swallowing on him, she could feel him shiver in reaction. Smirking she knew his every kink pulling back out, she kept continuous suction all the way out until all she had in her mouth was the head of his cock. Flicking her tongue across the head a few times, she deep throated him some more. R.J gasped and moaned as she worked her magic. Feeling uncomfortable and hot he began to remove his sport's jacket.

"No!" Buffy hissed at the sight of him taking off his jacket. "Leave it on," she told him before she leaned down and took him into her mouth again. Going down on him, staying there as she felt him start to come. She welcomed the first few spurts as she eagerly drank down the rest. Once he finished, she drew him back out, keeping her lips clamped tightly around him so as not to lose a single drop, until his head finally popped out of her mouth. R.J was near crossed eyed at this point panting like he had ran a marathon with a massive effort he opened his eyes only to see Buffy smirk at him and swallow his cum.

That as ever was a turn on for him and he gripped her hips and ass turning over onto her back. He kissed her and she welcomed his lips having grown to really enjoy kisses. She moaned and giggled as his head moved down her body kissing, licking and tasting her skin. He kissed the slopes of her breasts before reaching behind her to unfasten her bra. She removed it and then lay back as he began giving ardent attention to her breasts. God, she loved to be kissed there. The teen stayed there clearly enjoying the woman's assets before he lowered himself some more to be between her legs. Buffy gave him a sly smile as she lifted her hips up helping him as he peeled off her thong. He wasted no time to go down on her causing Buffy to giggle again before moaning as months of training and practice had led him to be rather talented on the act. He knew what she liked and what she needed. "Oh yes," she moaned as she felt the teen's tongue caress her labia "R.J, please…" Before she could finish that sentence, R.J's tongue plunged deeply into her overflowing passage, probing the delicate walls relentlessly. Buffy squirmed in delight cupping her own breasts as she basked in the pleasure he was giving her.

R.J worshipped her pussy as he ran his hands along her stocking covered legs. His tongue flicked out over the erect and exposed tip to her clit, and she arched off of the mattress. The teen declared himself addicted to her flavour so why not enjoy the fact that she wanted him to have it? That said he replaced his tongue at her opening with his fingers and thrust three inside. They moved easily and Buffy's hips jerked into his hand, and he went back to suckling her clit scraping his teeth over the sensitive bud in between the flicks back and forth and around all over the expanse of her glistening cunt. Buffy cried out cumming hard.

After a few moments and as Buffy's breathing came more under control and tugged R.J's head away from her. She needed him up, needed him to be inside her. He finally complied but not without applying scraping bites over the skin at the top of her vagina, over the small curve of her belly and up the centre of her chest. Buffy's groan reverberated through her and made the teen hum as he veered to the right and closed his lips over her nipple. He sucked and bit at the taut flesh while she arched beneath him and tried to press him closer and R.J was lost in the heat of her body. His chest settled on her sweaty skin, and he just knew that it was a mixture of the trail of her own juices that he had left on her belly there too. Wet kisses trailed over her pert right breast, his tongue slipping to lap at the underside before moving his hand up to replace it as his mouth sought out its twin. He repeated his ministrations on her left breast, nuzzling and licking. Sucking hard when she groaned and soothing her down when she gasped.

Well maybe not soothing. Buffy was whining and pulling at him again. Finally, his jacket and sweaty t-shirt came off. Then fumbling eager hands slipped between them and a harsh gasping whine later then he's embedded inside her, pushing deeper into the most heavenly moist heat of her body. Buffy arched into him in response, offering herself fully to the moment. She leant up and brushed her lips against his once before as R.J nestled himself further between her thighs while she shifted beneath him, welcoming more of his length into her body. "God yes!" he groaned marvelling at the ease of which her body accepted him. It felt as if he belonged inside of her now and that thought made him almost cum. Grunting and cursing to himself, he willed himself to focus as he began thrust into her. Buffy offered herself to him running her hands over his back as she moved against him creating a crushing engagement making them both pant. They moved and moulded together letting out custom grunts, groans and moans as the pair melded together.

"Oh R.J! Mmmm so good!" she let out as he fucked her just the way she liked. They were both panting now as they aggressively moved against each other. She was panting with her mouth wide open, her tongue moistening her lips. R.J's planting succulent kisses on the nape of her neck in between grunting as he gave her good as he could. Before too long neither could hold back anymore as he gasped and explored into her pussy while she shuddered hard and tighten around him milking him for all his worth.

He rolled off her eyes closed and savouring everything he was feeling now as she snuggled up to him. No longer awkward or guilty of being around him post sex like she was at the start of their fling she was now affectionate and past the point of caring. Rubbing his chest, she leaned her head on his shoulder. "Another award-winning performance," she cooed at him.

He chuckled slightly then winced when he saw the clock. "Great!" he muttered. "I've got to go."

"That's usually my line," she commented seeing him begin to move away from her. She missed his presence more than she would ever admit.

"Mum is getting antsy and paranoid," he said as he put on his boxers. "Wants help with packing." He put on the rest of his clothes before turning back at her. "Don't look at me like that," he said smiled at the way she was looking at him.

"Like what?" she asked knowingly posing not too subtly on the bed. Her body still had a healthy glow about it. She looked so alluring.

"Like you don't want me to leave," he replied.

"Maybe I don't," she said moving onto her knees. He smiled again and leaned in for a kiss which she was more than willing to give. "Can't you stay a little longer?" she muttered against his lips.

"I really can't," he sighed using all his self-control up not to push her down onto the bed for another round. He sighed before stepping back putting a little distance between them. "I will message you?" She nodded and then he stepped out and was gone. The room was quiet for a time as Buffy took a moment to reflect on what had happened between her and R.J before seemingly realising she was in a dirty, cramped, cheap motel room and needed to head back home. Getting up she headed to the bathroom to have a quick shower and had just turned on the water when she heard the door open.

Grinning to herself she didn't even bother to cover up simply strutting back into the main room with a cocky knowing smirk on her face. "I knew you would change your mind," she called out before freezing at the sight the person there.

It was Xander.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She froze for a second like a rabbit in headlights before quickly covering herself. "Xander!" she exclaimed. "What the hell are you doing here?!" She yelled at him grabbing the bedsheet and pulling it on her.

"I could ask you the same question," Xander said coldly looking around the room and noting the scent of sex shaking his head. "Put your clothes on and get dressed," he simply said turning around to face the door with his back to Buffy. She did as she was told putting on her clothes knowing there would be a blow out because of this. Sure enough, Xander turned after a few minutes to check the state of Buffy and seeing her dressed began to unleash his anger. "Before you say anything I saw that teenager leave here. Been out there long enough to know that you and he were in here together for long enough to be… wrong," he explained in a grim tone before unleashing a little anger at her. "Buffy… tell me that you are under a big-time spell or some love potion or that I am hallucinating spectacularly!"

Seeing a chance or a flicker of hope Buffy took it as she was clutching at straws right now. "That's right… I just feel nothing but love for him. I can't control it! I can't help it!" She played the part of the lovestruck woman. All dream like and cheerful.

"Oh, save it!" Xander stopped her in her performance. "I'm clueless not braindead! BUFFY TELL ME WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IT?!" The slayer was silent under his words which only enraged him more. "BUFFY TELL ME!"

"I'm messed up alright?" she finally told him sinking to the bed. "I mean I know I messed up and I am messed up! I mean last year I was boinking the undead for months! Spike didn't even have a soul that I could use as an excuse and this," she gestured at the bed.

"A TEENAGER?!" Xander cried out in disbelief. "He is Dawn's age for god's sake! How the hell did any of this happen? When?!"

Buffy took a moment choosing her words carefully about what she should said and how she should say. "It was soon after the love spell with his magical jacket… I was low, Spike may have been killing people and the fact that he was in town was already throwing me off. I was instructed to counsel R.J at school… I can't explain it or even defend it. I just needed something in my life that was mine and only mine."

At that statement Xander couldn't help but chuckle ruefully. "Always the same, always wanting what you can't have." If there was one trait with Buffy that he would never understand it was when she would push everyone away and deal with everything by herself. He had understood that Buffy was a leader. Some people were leaders. They were the famous people. They were the people history remembered. Their faces got put on money. Towns, cities, states, and sometimes even countries got named after them. They had their faces on statues, paintings, and magazine covers. And they deserved all of those things, because they were the ones to stand up, stand tall, and stare adversity right square in the face. Xander Harris wasn't one of those people. No, Xander Harris was quite aware of his lot in life, and he was quite happy with it. Let the qualified people do the leading, and he could be first in line right behind them, ready and eager to be told what to do next. That's just what he did, and he did it well. He was a follower, not a leader. And there was absolutely nothing wrong with that, he knew. Not everyone could be a leader. Leaders were special. They were rare. They were the amazing people like Buffy or Willow or Giles or George Washington or Luke Skywalker. They were the ones who could shoulder burdens he could never imagine. They were the ones that someone like himself couldn't help but follow; couldn't help but be inspired by. Where someone like Buffy Summers walked, Xander Harris followed. But now… "That was months ago… this whole time you have been with him?"

Buffy almost shrugged. "I just wanted a break from everything. A way out. An escape."

"An escape? Like Spike?" he snorted. "You will never learn, will you?" He questioned ruefully shaking his head in disgust.

"It's not that simple!" Buffy said in defence. "When I died, I was in what I thought... what I believe was heaven! Then I was taken from that peaceful place and brought back here, where I didn't want to be. The life I returned to had no meaning or road map. I was lost. Not only was I still grieving the death of my mother, but still trying to piece together my own feelings, raise Dawn, pay all those bills, keep my house clean, find a job, Slay, and keep up a brave front for all of you that I was alright! Even now. To this day you all look at me like I am mean to be alright! Like I am meant to have everything together and just get on with things and I'm sick of it!"

"So, you decided to fuck a teenager to get back at us?" Xander deadpanned.

There was no point covering it up or playing it down anymore so Buffy might as well describe it as it is. "I saw an opportunity to get a little happiness, and I took it!" Buffy growled back before launching an attack of her own. "You are the one who fucked and then nearly married an ex-demon!"

Xander's jaw fixed but he didn't rise to her attack instead he sighed. "Spike knew," he stated taking a seat at the chair and closing his eyes. "He knew about it all didn't he. He figured it out or caught you out." He couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "I told him that you would never do such a thing. Never even think it… and you killed him because he knew, didn't you?" He questioned her looking directly at her.

Buffy merely shrugged like it was nothing. "So, what if I did. Don't even pretend you are upset about that. You two were hardly brothers in arms. Hell, there was many a time you would have offered me a stake if I suggested doing such a thing," she pointed out in a flat manner.

"Don't even try and use that against me," Xander fired back. "There is a big difference between staking a murderous soulless vampire and staking a vampire to keep your dirty little secret!"

Buffy again shrugged as if it was nothing. "One less vampire to worry about is the way I see it. At least this way the First can't use him." She was calm and so annoying unbothered. It was as if she had decided there was no harm done.

"Oh yeah about the First! I don't really see how sleeping with a teenager helps you defeat the First but please enlighten me! Tell me your battle strategy! Tell me how this fits into your master plan!" He yelled at her sarcastically. She was far too calm and non plussed for his liking. She was acting like nothing mattered or she didn't care. Even when she was defending Angel or Spike there was passion and conviction. Here she was acting like she hadn't done anything wrong.

"THAT'S JUST IT! I DON'T HAVE A PLAN!" Buffy yelled back at him hysterical. "I have been flying by the seat of my pants for years and I just can't do it anymore! I can't keep holding everything together now! I need a break!"

"And he is your break!?" Xander countered in disgust. "A child!? You are drowning your sorrows with a teenager for god's sake! Who does that?!" He could name a few types of people who would do that never in a million years thought that he would include Buffy to such a list.

She recognised a thought that crossed in his mind. "See there it is," she stated. "You all never bothered to see me. All of me. The good and the bad. I was just some superhero to you all. Well newsflash I am not… because there are darker, more shameful sides of me you would have to deal with if you saw all of me and accept just them… like I did."

Xander felt like throwing up. He felt like hitting something or getting drunk. He couldn't believe the person sitting on the bed was the same person he had known all these years. He understood and accepted that their friendship wasn't cotton candy and sweet walks in the park. Their lives wouldn't allow conventional romance. Their jobs killed anything normal, so other routes were undertaken… but this? Who was she? Was she tainted or damaged since returning from heaven? Or was she right and he never really knew her? How had he really been this blind? He knew she was tired of this fight so was he. He's tired... Doesn't smile as much as he used to. Just doesn't want to. The constant worrying the First grated on his nerves every bit as much as thinking what might happen if they lose. But still he wasn't about to do something like this… He slowly got up feeling numb. "Willow called and said the girl at the hospital has a message for you," he told her all business. "We are going to go there find out what is it, then we are going to then go back to your home and work out what to do about the First!"

"You won't tell the others about this?" She questioned. Xander had a habit of running his mouth and blurting out the truth.

"No, you can do that yourself when this is all over," he told her grimly heading out to his car leaving the front door of her motel room open for her to follow. Which she did after a few moments.