A Biker's Tale
Chapter 21 - Aftermath
The Cell Call
Kate had been visited by one Jan Higgins, a close friend of Josh. She had revealed Josh's obsession of jealousy and revenge for Kate and Rick. Jan then tells Kate that she is carrying Josh's child from an intimate night with him shortly after his breakup with Kate. Josh had sought relief from Jan and the two had become intimate if only for that one night. Kate is stunned with this revelation and calls Josh on it.
Josh Davidson hears his cell phone ringing and sees the caller ID. It's Kate, she is calling.
"Kate, calling to crawl back to me after Castle dumped you ….like I said he would?"
"Actually, no Josh"
"So you are calling to vent on me for my going public about you cheating on me."
"Wrong, again Josh, I called because I talked to Jan Higgins", she tells him.
There is a noticeable delay in Josh's response.
"I know the whole story", Kate continues, " and Jan will appear as a character reference for me at my Hearing. I am calling to say if you persist with this vendetta against me and Castle, we both will be hurt. You especially, so continuing in this bad manner, is cutting off your nose to spite your face."
Kate then hears, "So you talked to Jan. You used your detective skills to dig up dirt on me."
"She came to me Josh."
"What….why would she do that? She is a close friend and would not do that."
"Unless she knows that your actions are motivated by revenge and she wants to stop you from harming yourself and ruining your future, as well as mine and Castle's, with this vendetta you have started."
A Pause.
Then…,
"What do you want Kate?"
"I want to meet and talk this thing out. We need to come to a resolution here!"
"When and where?"
"Tomorrow, dinner, at our favorite restaurant."
She is choosing friendly ground for the talk.
Josh is intrigued.
"Okay."
"And Josh,….. I'm bringing Rick."
"What? Why would you do that? This is between me and you! That man has done nothing but ruin our relationship. He was temptation and you gave in."
"No! You brought Rick into this when you accused him of stealing me away from you. The least you could do is be a man and tell it to his face instead of spreading it to the media which spins the whole thing against Rick."
"I…..I….."
"No excuses or I will out you with Jan immediately and then it goes viral. Think about it."
Another silence and then over the cell.
"Fine, I'll see you and Rick tomorrow night."
"8PM, reservations in Castle's name."
The Dinner
Kate and Rick are the first to arrive at the restaurant. Rick had ordered their best meal and their best wine. Minutes after the couple is seated Josh Davidson arrives. He comes to their table. Rick stands to shake Josh's hand and then Josh turns to Kate and gives her an innocent but affectionate kiss on her cheek.
"Glad you could make it Josh", Kate says in a cordial greeting.
"Did you think otherwise?"
"I don't know, with all that has happened, I don't know what to think anymore."
There is an awkward moment, until Castle says.
"Take a seat Josh, I've ordered their best dinner and it is meant to be enjoyed with good company." Rick says sounding welcoming.
Josh catches Rick's tone and takes a seat. As they all sit around the table, Josh says, "Let me clear the air here and get this off my mind. You, Rick Castle, have been the main reason for the breakup of Kate and myself. You have convinced her to believe she is in love with you. All the while you have treated her like the flavor of the month on your list of many, to be sampled and then forgotten and ignored when you lose your taste for her. If not for you, we would still be a couple."
Kate starts to speak in angry rebuttal to Josh, but Castle stops her with a look. Kate yields the moment to Rick.
"You are wrong, Josh. I have been nothing but respectful of what you had with Kate. I left the two of you to yourselves when you, Josh, would come around to pick her up at the Station. I never tried to put you down in her presence. She deserved that respect as I have known Kate for more than three years and know her to be loyal and faithful. You, Josh Davidson, appreciate so little of her! She is a one man woman, faithful to the man she chooses to commit to in a relationship. To accuse her of not being so comes out as pure jealousy. Kate is not the kind of woman you accuse her of being."
"I read those page six stories about you and her. Attending book signings and other events together. The talk of Kate being more than a muse. I was not born yesterday and know of your reputation as a playboy and philanderer."
At this point Kate has heard enough.
"Do you trust me so little Josh to think that way? Or is it because you were cheated on by your last girlfriend and that baggage has you seeing the green ghost of jealousy. And what of you and Jan? It is hypocritical of you to accuse me of being unfaithful when you yourself got her pregnant while we were still together."
"That was different Kate. You and I were estranged at the time and she gave me solace."
"Really, that's your story. If you truly did love me, you would not have let that happen. There was not even a 'mourning' period' for our breakup. You went to bed with another women a day after I rejected your marriage proposal."
Rick sees the growing tension here and tries for some relief.
"Josh, know this one thing. Kate never slept with me while she was with you. With all the times you left her alone, she remained chaste. I know you spoke to Jan on this and she knows of Kate's character as being solid. And I am confirming that for you. If you can not believe me, believe in Jan. You are lucky to have her as a friend, but have you given back to Jan as much as she's given to you? She is another victim of your jealousy."
Those words hit Josh hard and dead center as he realizes his treatment of Jan. That he has never given back to her the treatment she deserves from him. That reality makes Josh silent, his mind racing. Rick's query strikes Josh at his conscience. He recalls his talk with Jan. She had been his friend way before he met Kate. She was the one person he could always count on. He had been surprised himself when Jan had gone to see Kate. He had been angry that Jan had done that and confronted her, telling Jan that he felt betrayed by her.
Her response was that she had to save him, even if it meant saving him from himself. Jan had said his behavior was destructive, not just to Kate and Rick, but to himself. Jan said she had to take action, even if it meant that he would see it as a betrayal.
"This vendetta you have for Kate will be noticed by the local medical board", Jan had told him, "There's talk going around. The board is upset that as a medical professional such as your self choose to reveal what should be a private matter and not for public scrutiny. Your behavior reflects badly on the Medical community. You may be censured for that. Definitely a situation that has professional impact for you Josh."
So Josh realized then that Jan had his full interest in mind, even if he could not see it. That led him to question what else he was not seeing. Through thru all this Jan had said that he was wrong about Kate. Now Castle backs Jan and calls Josh on his treatment of Jan. Then it comes to him. The fact that he Jan is a true friend, a honest friend, maybe his best friend. One who chose to save him from himself realizing in doing so she could lose his friendship. It spoke to an even deeper friendship than Josh had ever seen in Jan. It is an epiphany for him. There is a prolonged pause before he speaks again.
When he does finally speak, he says, "I apologize to you Kate and to you Rick."
The statement stuns both of them.
"Why the sudden change in your attitude and demeanor ? What brought this on?"
"When I went to see Jan, I wanted to know why she came to you. I felt betrayed. I confronted her and we had a heart to heart talk. Rick's question about how I have treated Jan brought back memories of that discussion and it just struck me just then that I was not seeing things properly."
The wine waiter comes in at that moment to present the dinner wine that had been selected by Castle and have him sample it. Rick tastes the sample and indicates to the waiter that the wine is acceptable. The waiter fills all their wine glasses. When he leaves, each of them take a small sip of the wine. The short pause had toned down the tension in the room.
Kate breaks the awkward moment by telling Josh, "You are lucky you have Jan as a friend".
Josh nods in agreement, then continues his talk, "When Rick asked his question about Jan, I came to realize that she has always been there for me and that meant she cared for me more than I knew. I just then came to realize it had to be more that just friendship, it had to be love. So how had I not seen that in Jan? It was there all along and I had been blind to it. How had I not tried to move forward with Jan, to be more than close friends? And I realized how clueless I have been up to now. What else was I not seeing?"
"So what does that mean for you Josh? And for Kate?", Castle asks.
"It means I need to do something to turn this mess around. For seeing only what I wanted to see. That my real affections for Kate, may not be love, but ego. Maybe it was the idea of losing her to another man that became my obsession, colored by my last breakup. Perhaps the fear of losing her drove me to propose to her so I might bind her to me and not lose her. Was I letting our physical intimacy together confuse my emotions? Maybe I just wanted to keep that physical intimacy of our failed relationship without providing the emotional investment it takes to have such."
Josh's thoughts on his failed relationship with Kate were indeed profound. The honesty of his thoughts has laid him bare to the couple but most especially to Kate. She had been chastising herself for entering into a carnal relationship with Josh. She had guilt that she had used him in her attempts to ignore her suppressed feelings for Rick. That shame had plagued her since her breakup with Josh. Now she realized that Josh too had some hidden motivations of his own for not wanting to lose their relationship and for trying to keep her.
"Josh, your situation with Jan is similar to what Rick and I had. He has always been there for me till my union with you drove Rick away. I too was blind to what I had with Rick. It was when you proposed to me that made me realize it was not you I wanted. I have guilt for using you in that manner, but know this, for a while I really thought we had something. But it was Rick who had my heart. Your proposal brought me to that reality when I consider how to respond to you. If truly I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you."
With these raw revelations from Josh, then from Kate, everyone is feeling the sheer power of this honest discussion that held nothing back about the failed union between Kate and Josh. The tension in the room is heavy, so Rick tries for emotional relief.
He speaks, "You and I both know what it means to be with Kate but not have her".
Each man gives the other a look of full understanding. Both men had been with Kate, and both men had been without Kate. Both man shared that, and there is a sense of kinship between the two.
"Yes, she is an extraordinary woman", Josh replies, "so that is why I apologized to the both of you. It was a moment of sheer clarity. Then I knew If I truly did care for Kate, I should let you go. Let her be happy, let Kate choose whom you want to be happy with in a lasting union. What I am saying Kate is that I am letting you go. That I am letting you move on. I may not truly have loved you as I should have but I care enough to let you decide who has your heart."
Again a serious pallor invades their space with all this talk. Josh had an epiphany and had been compelled to share it with the two.
Castle again attempts to lower that tense filled awkwardness in the room by saying, "Well why don't we all drink to Josh's moment of clarity and accept that he has come to a realization here."
"Yes, let's do that", Josh replies following Rick's lead, as he adds to his words, "the wine is excellent by the way."
"It's their best Josh and meant to encourage good discussion and even better dining."
"Well it certainly has done that for the discussion part! Let's go for the good dining part."
"Now that is something we all should toast to", says Kate raising her wine glass.
They all follow Kate's lead and raise their wine glasses.
The tensions come down and atmosphere becomes jovial as the rest of the evening goes well and the three truly enjoy the meal and the company.