CHAPTER ONE
.I'm not okay, but I can try my best to just pretend. [Bad Omens – Just Pretend]
Stiles opened his eyes and sighed. He saw the lights flickering in the windows and knew that Joan and his father would be thrilled to see him, but Stiles also had that uncomfortable feeling in his gut. „Welcome home, Stiles," he said to himself as he got out of the car. But was he really home?
"Welcome home, Stiles," another voice said and Stiles jumped. He knew that voice. He could never forget it. "Or should I say Mischief?" Scott wanted to know and Stiles slowly turned around.
Scott was standing there, his hands in his pockets, watching Stiles. "I didn't think you'd be here so soon."
"It's my father's wedding." Stiles replied, shoving his hands into his pockets. "What are you doing here?"
"Noah invited me. Said he had a surprise for me. I guess he thought you'd be excited to see me and vice versa. I didn't tell him we haven't spoken in years. I didn't want to break his heart. He's like a father to me, you know that," the Alpha said, sighing. "Look, I don't know..."
"Yes, you don't," Stiles interrupted, "you don't know. And I have made my peace with that. Look, I am here to celebrate love. I have no intention of mending broken friendships. Let's be civil, for my old man's sake, shall we?"
Scott pressed his lips together and Stiles' gaze shifted to the ground. His heart was pounding and the feeling of pressure was becoming unbearable. He didn't want to snap at Scott but he couldn't help it. "Broken friendship?", he heard the Alpha ask and Stiles closed his eyes. "I didn't know our friendship was over."
"Yeah, I don't know why I said that", Stiles replied quietly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped. I'm tired, I just flew in from Chicago and drove straight here. I need a shower and my bed. Let's just be civil, like I said."
"Can we talk about this?", Scott wanted to know, "I mean, we haven't spoken in years. And I thought…"
"I know", Stiles cut him off again. "I know what you thought but I stand by my words. I am here for the wedding. As soon as the festivities are over, I'm leaving this town again. I didn't want to come back at all. Too much negativity here." Stiles went to get his bag out of the trunk and threw it over his shoulders. "You wanna come in? My dad invited you after all…", he asked Scott, who just nodded.
They walked in silence to the porch and before Stiles was able to knock, somebody opened it already. His father was standing in the doorway, looking better than ever. Stiles eyed him and a small smile was forming on his lips. He hadn't seen his father this happy in a long time. Sure, Noah smiled and was happy, but with Joan by his side, the smile finally reached his eyes again.
"Hi Dad." Noah Stilinski didn't even answer. He pulled his son into a big hug and Stiles let his guard down for a second and embraced the hug given by his father. He closed his eyes, took in the scent of his father and felt more grounded that he had in a long time. After all, his father was kind of his anchor, even though Stiles never was truly supernatural. Parts of him where, due to the possession of the Nogitsune and the short trip to ghost town, but after all, he was human with supernatural pieces. Pieces, that sometimes made themselves known. The anger. The anxiety.
The darkness.
Stiles hugged his dad even tighter. He wasn't aware that he had missed his old man so damn much. Physical contact was different than talking over the phone. It made a difference. "You okay?", Noah wanted to know, slightly pulling away from his son. When he pulled back, Stiles felt the darkness becoming more present again. It took the younger Stilinski a minute to gather his thoughts, until he was able to nod.
"Yeah, just glad that I am home now", he smiled. The word home felt foreign on his tongue. Was Beacon Hills his home? After all the things he endured here? "Although, you could have told me that Scott would be here", he sighed and glanced to the werewolf.
Scott, looking like a lost puppy, pushed his hands back into his pockets and had an uncertain smile on his lips. Stiles knew why his fri… Scott acted the why he did. He did learn a thing or two over the past years. Apparently, an Alpha felt the sense of disconnection if someone disconnects himself from the pack. Stiles was not sure if he had done that. But Scotts behavior sent a clear message. Something was hurting him and it made the guilt within Stiles flare up. He flinched and Scott flinched. Like a rubber band snapped back. Irritated, Stiles looked at Scott, who was extremely confused as well. His puppy dog eyes went from lost puppy to confused within seconds.
"I thought you'd like to see him, son. Come in, Joan is waiting." He stepped aside and let the two boys – no, young men – into his home. Stiles went straight to his old room, which was never touched by Noah or Joan, threw his bag onto his bed and let the feeling sink in for a minute.
"Stiles?", he heard Scott in the distance, "hey, buddy, your dad asked me to tell you that he is waiting with a drink in the living room."
"Gimme a second", he replied, pressing his palms onto his eyes. "I just… need a second", he whispered and sat down on his bad. Still applying pressure to his eyes with his palms, he didn't see Scott entering the room. "I shouldn't be here…", Stiles muttered.
"Why not", Scott wanted to know, making his old friend jump a little. But Stiles didn't look up. He pressed his palms harder against his eyes. "Stiles, why not?", Scott tried again and stepped into the room, getting on the knees in front of him. Stiles felt Scotts hands on his knees, adding a bit more pressure than necessary but he didn't complain. "Talk to me, please."
Stiles put down his hands and opened his eyes. He could see the worry coming from Scott. "I am fine."
"You forget that I can tell when you're lying. You're not fine. You're anxious. And stressed. And I can also feel the discomfort", Scott answered.
"Stop reading my chemo signals", Stiles grunted, "unfair advantage."
"Stop lying then", Scott fired back, his hand still on his friend's knees, "what's going on?"
"I know that I need to talk to you. I know that I owe you some explanation. But not today, okay? It's… enough for now. I don't wanna talk when I'm tired. Please, don't push me."
"I won't", Scott assured him, pressing his hands a bit more onto Stiles knees. "I promise."
Stiles felt the pressure on his knees and it made the pressure on his chest a bit more bearable. Like the hug he had received from his father a few moments ago. He could literally feel the darkness and its pressure, but he also felt how light was trying to push its way through. It was a mixture between heaven and hell right now. He wanted to run, he wanted to get out of this town immediately, but on the other hand he didn't want to lose the feeling of belonging here. As much as he hated Beacon Hills, this place would always have a hold onto him. Maybe giving power back to the Nemeton had something to do with it. Or maybe it wasn't supernatural after all. In the end, it didn't matter anyways.
"We can just pretend for today." Stiles stood up, ending the physical contact between him and Scott, who almost fell on his ass because of Stiles abrupt reaction. "I am not okay, but I can try my best to just pretend."
When Scott received the invitation for Noah's wedding, he was happy. Noah was like a father to him. His mom and Stiles' dad basically co-parented Stiles and him. Even though, the both delinquents were able to fool them for a few months until the whole supernatural world was made known to them. The werewolf remembered how his mother had reacted when she first found out. It took her a bit to get used to the fact that her son was a werewolf. As soon as she was settled, she took another wolf-boy in. Funnily enough, Scott and Stiles thought that there might be something between their parents. That Stiles and he would become siblings after all. They were basically raised together, especially after Claudia passed away and his own father left them behind. It never happened though. Considering his mom was dating his (dead)ex-girlfriend's father now, it made sense. There was a huge difference between Argent and the Sheriff but in the end, it didn't matter. As long as the people closest to him were happy. Which brought him back to the invitation he just received.
A small smile appeared on his lips. Joan was good for Noah. She came into the Sheriffs life when Stiles went away and the supernatural world was quieter than usual. Scott was there when they met. He was at the station, helping the Sheriff with a case, in which the supernatural might had been involved, when Joan stomped into the station and demanded to speak with the Sheriff. Apparently, somebody had smashed the windows of her car and she was furious.
Noah Stilinski was immediately smitten and Scott knew. He felt it. The chemo signals were there too and a freaking good indicator that Joan und Noah had a bright future. At least, that what he had hoped and it worked out. Now they are getting married, after dating for almost three years.
His phone vibrated in his pocket and he took it out. Mr. Stilinski had sent him a message.
Please come over this evening. I have a surprise for you. 7pm. We also have something to eat for you.
Scott sighed. He had a good idea what this surprise might be. And that bumped his happiness a bit. When Stiles left, they stayed in touch, until it became nonexistent. He didn't know why. He never asked. When Lydia informed him that she left Stiles, he kinda thought that this might have been the reason. He never dared to ask the banshee why she left Stiles. Lydia made it clear, that this subject was not open for discussion or questions. And then she left for her new job in New York.
He tried to get in contact with his best friend. He never received an answer, until the number disconnected. He also never asked Noah what was going on with his son. Scott believed, that Stiles would come around. Until his hope faded into almost nothing. Days, weeks, months went by and Stiles was just not reachable. He talked to Deaton about it, he sure did. Deaton was like a father figure as well. They have been to hell and back together and Scott relied on his input. Deaton had smiled and told him to wait. Eventually, Stiles would come around. Because as an Alpha he had a connection to his pack and as long as he didn't feel a pain or something similar, Stiles was still part of his pack. And that he eventually would return.
However, even he never felt said pain, it still hurt. Losing your best friend like this. Out of nowhere. Because that was a pain Scott didn't want to endure again. It was enough when Theo had come between him and Stiles. But back then, they knew where the disconnection had come from. This situation was different. It was like Stiles just made himself unavailable for anyone from Beacon Hills but his father. Scott wasn't mad at him for trying to have a normal life. He was sad that it happened like this.
His eyes roamed over the message again and the invitation to dinner this evening. He thought about cancelling, because he was sure that Stiles would be there too. He couldn't explain how, but he felt when Stiles crossed the border and entered Beacon Hills. Like a little pang in his chest. It didn't hurt though. It was kinda calming him down a bit. However, after reading the message again, he decided to go.
Melissa wasn't home anyways. And Scott wasn't a great cook either. Yes, he lived with his mom still. He wasn't able to leave Beacon Hills. Not after what Derek had told him. He was the protector. He was the Alpha. He couldn't leave, not forever though but he didn't want too anyways. Beacon Hills was his home.
And now his lost brother, hist best friend, was coming back. With a fond smile on his lips, he grabbed his keys and left the house.
It's weird for me to publish a story here. I don't know what to expect. But to be honest, I only do it because I wanted to share something I'm working on. The story is not even done at this point. I can't give you an update schedule. But I hope you are enjoying this ride with me.