Chapter 1: Welcome to the World of Remnant (Try Not to Die, Wade)

The first thing Deadpool noticed when he woke up was the sound of birds chirping, which was wrong because birds didn't chirp back in his crummy New York apartment. The second thing was that there were flowers everywhere—lush fields of colorful, swaying flowers in every direction. It was beautiful.

"I'm dead," Deadpool muttered from his prone position. "I knew Taco Tuesday was gonna kill me someday."

He sat up slowly, staring around the idyllic meadow, which looked like something straight out of a anime intro sequence. "Wait a minute…" Deadpool's masked eyes squinted behind his red-and-black cowl. "Don't tell me this is isekai. Is it finally happening?!"

Cue a small burst of confetti from somewhere in his imagination.

"ISEKAI, BABY! I've been transported to another world! Time to collect a harem, defeat the Demon Lord, and be OP as heck!" He pumped his fist toward the sky. A moment of silence. Nothing happened. The fist slowly dropped.

"No opening theme song? No intro montage? Lazy writing," he grumbled.

Then Deadpool heard something. It was low, guttural, and very not friendly. He turned his head, red mask swiveling toward the treeline, and saw the hulking silhouettes of jet-black creatures with glowing red eyes and bone-white masks.

"Aw crap, it's the demon hordes already," Deadpool muttered, reaching instinctively for his katanas—wait, they were there! Good news: he still had all his gear strapped to his suit. Bad news? The giant monsters were stomping toward him with the subtlety of a wrecking ball.

Deadpool jumped to his feet. "All right, ya walking roadkill rejects, time for Wade Wilson to show you what—"

He froze as the creatures got closer. "Hold up. Wait. Are those… bears? Zombie bears? Skeleton-bears? Someone's been playing way too much Dark Souls."

The creatures growled, and one lunged. Deadpool squealed like a little kid and unsheathed both katanas. SHWING!

"AH! DIE, YOU SCARY SON OF A—WHACKY SLICE!"

He stabbed the closest one, and black goo sprayed everywhere. The Grimm—it had to be Grimm, Deadpool realized, his anime IQ screaming—shrieked and dissolved into smoke. Deadpool blinked.

"Whoa. That was disgustingly cool."

The other Grimm roared. Deadpool turned toward them, katanas twirling like some demented blender salesman.

"WHO WANTS TO GET SLICED AND DICED?! Step right up, fuzzballs!"

Meanwhile…

"Did you hear that?"

Ruby Rose tilted her head. The distant sounds of screams—feminine screams, yet somehow… not?—echoed through the forest. Yang Xiao Long stopped mid-step, squinting.

"Uh, yeah. I don't think those Grimm are the ones screaming though…"

"It sounds like… someone else is fighting?" Weiss Schnee said, skeptical as ever. She tapped the hilt of Myrtenaster, frowning.

Blake Belladonna, quiet and pensive, let out a resigned sigh. "Should we investigate?"

Ruby grinned. "Well, duh! Someone might need help!"

Yang punched her fists together with a wild grin. "Or someone's just that good at taking out Grimm. Either way, I wanna see!"

They rushed through the woods. The sounds of clashing steel, enraged roars, and wildly out-of-context dialogue grew louder.

"YOU DON'T HAVE A HEALTH BAR, YOU CHEATING MONSTER!" a loud, masculine voice shrieked. "BAD GAME DESIGN!"

Team RWBY burst into the clearing—and froze.

There, standing triumphantly on a pile of smoldering Grimm corpses, was a man. A man in a skin-tight red-and-black suit, wielding twin katanas. His posture screamed victory.

"I AM WADE WILSON, AKA DEADPOOL!" he declared. "MERCENARY, HERO, LOVER, AND ALL-AROUND TERRIBLE ROLE MODEL!"

Silence.

Deadpool froze mid-pose, noticing Team RWBY's stunned expressions. He straightened up, sheathing his swords with a dramatic flourish.

"Oh. New characters. Sweet! Let me guess—you guys are the main protagonists of this world?" He pointed at Ruby. "Let me guess: hyperactive, plucky leader with a tragic backstory?"

Ruby blinked. "Um, yeah? How did you—"

Deadpool spun on his heel, pointing at Weiss. "Ice queen with daddy issues and a redemption arc incoming."

Weiss scowled. "Excuse me?!"

Deadpool turned to Blake. "Mysterious, brooding loner with a secret past and possible cat-related puns."

Blake's ears flattened. "How do you—?"

Finally, he turned to Yang. "And you? Hot-headed brawler who punches first and asks questions later. Mother issues?"

Yang crossed her arms, grinning. "Pretty much nailed it."

Deadpool clapped his hands together. "I knew it! It's always the same formula. I've been dropped in a show, haven't I? Wait… don't tell me—this is RWBY, isn't it? I love this series!"

Team RWBY stared at him like he'd grown an extra head.

"Who… are you?" Ruby asked cautiously.

Deadpool placed a hand over his chest, as if deeply offended. "Who am I? Who am I? I'm your new best friend. The wise-cracking, fourth-wall-breaking anti-hero you never asked for but absolutely deserve."

Yang raised a brow. "And the Grimm?"

Deadpool gestured to the steaming pile of corpses. "Oh, them? Don't worry about it. They're allergic to me. And swords. Mostly swords."

Blake muttered under her breath. "This guy's insane."

Deadpool's masked head whipped toward her. "Rude. I prefer the term 'mentally creative.'"

Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose. "This day just keeps getting worse."

Deadpool draped an arm over Weiss's shoulder, much to her horror. "Oh, don't worry, Snow White! It's gonna get so much worse. You have no idea what's coming."

Ruby looked both curious and concerned. "Wait, are you gonna help us fight Grimm? Or… are you a bad guy?"

Deadpool leapt into the air, landing with a superhero pose. "Why choose?!"

To Be Continued…

Next Chapter: Deadpool meets Ozpin, irritates Glynda, and "improves" Team RWBY's combat strategies. Spoiler: They don't appreciate it.