Chapter 34: Unchained Melody

The battling mobs soon ran out of momentum after the disappearance of the tank, Myojo, Don Quixote, and — perhaps most importantly — the uniforms that hid people's identities and marked them as belonging to one side or the other. There were some isolated scuffles and vandalism, but the police were able to contain the troublemakers and disperse the crowd mostly peacefully.

They made their way back to Shido's sound truck to find it empty, but surrounded by cops.

"Train?" said Goro.

The others nodded, too tired to talk much.

"Takuto hasn't answered my texts…I'm going back to St. Luke's to see if Makoto's condition has changed," said Sae, while they waited on the train platform.

"I'll go with you," said Goro, and Ren nodded too.

"Well, I'm going to take the longest bath in history. I'm not coming out until I'm an umeboshi," said Suzui.

"Ooh, me too. Want to go to that bathhouse by your place?" Takamaki suggested.

"I'm heading to Kanda to check on my church. I wish you all the best, though," said Togo, nodding to each of them and bowing a little to Sae.

They were all quiet on the train; nothing more needed to be said.

Ren fell asleep almost immediately, lulled by the warmth and the steady rat-a-tat as the train moved through the city. Goro watched as the sunset turned to blue twilight and then to his own face as the lights came on in the train car and the outside world was replaced by a reflection. He checked his phone and was surprised to see that the MetaNav app was still there.

He frowned at it, wondering what it could mean.

At the train stop nearest St. Luke's, Sae raced ahead as soon as the train's door opened, while Goro took some time to wake Ren up and get him going.

The feeling of foreboding from seeing the MetaNav gnawed at Goro as he and Ren walked to the hospital, but he didn't say anything to Ren.

When they got there, they found Dr. Maruki looking uncharacteristically haggard and downcast.

"Where's Sae? She went ahead of us," said Goro, skipping the small talk.

Maruki hung his head. "There's been no change in the Mental Shutdown Syndrome patients."

"None? Like…none?" said Goro.

"Nothing whatsoever. They're still fine physically, but not awake."

"That can't be!" Ren cried. "We did everything we could! There's nothing left to try!"

"I saw. A lot of what happened was broadcast on TV. On every channel, actually. It was inescapable." Maruki smoothed back his hair. "Uh…I don't know what to say. Sae's sitting with Makoto. You two are welcome to come hang out in my office if you want."

They followed Maruki back to his office, where Ren flopped down on the couch that Shido had recently occupied.

Goro took one of the visitor's chairs, sitting opposite Maruki at his desk.

"I've been back and forth over these notebooks, over and over," said Maruki, flipping through the pages of Makoto's impeccable handwriting.

"Let me take a look," Goro suggested, taking one of the notebooks. It looked to him like Makoto had very neatly documented a lot of things they already knew. If she had any stray thoughts, she hadn't written them down.

"I almost wish she'd been more of a messy thinker. It would give me something to latch onto," Maruki murmured. He stifled a yawn and pointed at a stack of books looming over his left shoulder. "I've been over everything brain-related in the library next door, but I haven't looked at inter-library loans in depth yet…."

From the couch, Ren said, "Does the name Nyarlathotep mean anything to you?"

"That's right…we found out that Myojo's real name is Nyarlathotep," said Goro. Then he let out a frustrated growl. "But what does that tell us?"

"The Metaverse…Nyarlathotep…they're supernatural entities," said Ren. "No surprise you won't find anything about them in psychology textbooks."

An image floated into Goro's mind. It was a store sign: Rei's Occult Books. "What about books relating to mysticism, then?" He told them about the little shop where he'd gotten his Featherman tarot deck.

"Seems like a promising lead," said Maruki. "Want to go now?"

Ren and Goro both pulled out their phones to check the store's hours.

"Damn, they're only open until 5 tonight," said Goro.

"'Or by serendipity,'" said Ren, reading from the shop's website. He grinned. "If they are still open, it could be a good sign. Don't you think?"

"That's ludicrous," said Goro. There was a short silence while they all contemplated the most ridiculous things they'd seen that day. Feeling Ren's stare on his back, Goro stood up. "Oh, fine. Let's go, already."

"I'll go with you. I could use some fresh air," said Maruki.

After letting Sae know where they were going, the three made their way to Rei's Occult Books. It turned out that not only was the shop still open, but something was going on. A circle of chairs was set up inside, and people were mingling and chatting.

Rei was behind the counter greeting people as they came in. He looked rough — butterfly bandages had been applied hastily on a cut over one eye, he had a large red spot that looked like it would ripen into a bruise on his neck, and the half-moon glasses were perched crookedly due to a gauze-wrapped ear.

"Here for the group?" he asked as Goro, Ren, and Maruki entered.

"No," said Goro at the same time as Maruki asked, "What group?"

"It's a support group for people who have left high-control, high-coercion environments — cults, in other words, though we try to avoid that term," said Rei.

"Would you mind if I sat in and just listened?" asked Maruki.

"Everything is strictly off the record. Follow the rules and stay respectful," Rei answered with a nod.

"Are you okay? You look a little…worse for wear," said Goro.

"Ah…" Rei touched his eyebrow and winced. "I was mugged earlier today. But the show must go on." He put on a brave smile. "This group is a haven for people who are alone in the world. It takes a lot to leave your community, no matter how toxic that community is. I'm not going to let them down over a little headache. Now then…were you looking for anything in particular?"

"Actually, yes. I'm looking for information on Nyarlathotep. Have you heard that name before?" Goro asked.

Rei's eyebrows vaulted over his glasses and he winced again. "The Haunter of the Dark. Yes, indeed. Come this way."

He showed Ren and Goro to a shelf where he pulled out a handful of books. "Start with these." He gave them a penetrating look. "May I ask what your interest is?"

Goro and Ren looked at each other. "I think it may be connected to what happened today," Goro said.

"Yes…yes, I think you may be on to something there." Rei paused, evaluating Goro, then seemed to come to a conclusion. "There's another document that I think you'll want to see. Let me get it from the back."

He bustled off while the support group settled down in the circle of chairs and got their meeting started.

"Does he seem familiar to you?" Goro asked Ren.

"A little, now that you mention it." Ren thought for a moment, then snapped his fingers. "Moon."

"…Moon?"

"Remember the silver thread people? I think he was Moon. Ha, called it! Told ya you should have made friends with him," Ren said with a puckish grin.

"I'm just glad we didn't hurt him enough to land him in St. Luke's," Goro replied. He wouldn't have been hurt at all if I'd taken the time to get to know him.

Rei returned with the item he'd promised. There were two handwritten manuscripts and several photos bound together into a single book. The first manuscript was written in tidy calligraphy. The second started with neat lettering and devolved into a hurried, broken scrawl as it went on. The photos showed paintings full of streaks of red, black, orange, and purple. It was hard to make out what specifically was being depicted, but the feeling they evoked was unsettling, chaotic, alien.

"Is this…English?" Ren asked. It looked like English to Goro, but the ornate handwriting made it hard to tell.

"Indeed. It was written by an artist named Robert Blake living in Providence, Rhode Island — that's in America — just before the Second World War. He became obsessed with a large church that had been abandoned some forty years earlier. The Church of Starry Wisdom. Sound familiar?"

Goro muttered a curse under his breath. "So this…cult, or whatever it is…has been around a long time."

Rei nodded. "My thinking exactly. The first manuscript explains the context of Blake's life and death in Providence. The second is his diary, and the photos are of the paintings he produced while he was there."

Goro flipped to the end of the diary and read the last words. It was slow going, but he picked out some familiar terms: Azathoth, Nyarlathotep. The last words of the diary were "Iä…ngai…ygg…. I see it—coming here—hell-wind—titan blur—black wings—Yog-Sothoth save me—the three-lobed burning eye…."

As he focused on the unfamiliar words, those he thought were not English nor any other earthly language, images and sounds flashed through his mind. "Hosanna. Save me," he murmured.

Rei and Ren looked up and stared at him.

"What?" Goro asked.

"Is that…is that what it says?" Ren asked, pointing at "Iä…ngai…ygg" on the page. "You can read it?"

"I — I don't know. But yes, I'm sure that's what it says," said Goro, faltering. He had no idea why those words had come to him, but he still felt certain of what the odd phrase meant.

"Touched by chaos," said Rei knowingly, pushing his glasses up on his nose. "What else comes to you as you gaze upon this manuscript? Try to engage your intuition — forget the words, focus on the feelings."

Forgetting the words was easy enough; he barely understood them as it was. Goro looked back at the manuscript. "The three-lobed burning eye, that's Nyarlathotep. You saw it, didn't you, Ren?"

"To tell you the truth…I couldn't stand looking at that thing. I don't know what I saw," said Ren apologetically.

"Well, I saw the three-lobed eye. And the stars for pupils," said Goro. He flipped to the paintings and pointed at one. "Like that. This is what it looked like. This Robert Blake person must have seen it too."

"Incredible! And yet you don't seem even a little bit mad!" said Rei.

Maybe a little, thought Goro, though he had never felt more sane. Perhaps being Nyarlathotep's chosen gave him some insight to, and protection from, whatever forces were at work here.

"So what happened to Blake, here at the end?" Ren asked, flicking his eyes to the nearly-illegible scrawl.

Rei answered, "He died during a thunderstorm that caused multiple blackouts throughout Providence. Officially, it was an electrical discharge that did him in — a lightning strike, even though he was indoors. Unofficially, there are accounts that say he died of terror. Fear of what was coming for him in the dark."

"Nyarlathotep," said Goro. Again, he couldn't have explained how he knew, but he felt sure he was right.

"Perhaps Robert Blake awakened Nyarlathotep, and that's why the old one has returned," Rei suggested.

"Can I borrow this? To study it?" Goro asked.

"Not the original, no. That's part of my private collection. However, I've translated it to Japanese, and you can have a copy of that," said Rei. He slid out a computer printout from beneath the handwritten manuscript. Then he smiled and said, "You boys are welcome to come back any time to look at the original. I always have time for fellow seekers."

Ren and Goro thanked him and took the translation. Rei went back behind the counter, leaving them to look at the books he'd recommended. Struggling against fatigue and the esoteric language in the books, Goro felt his enthusiasm flag. What are we even looking for? How will I know it when I find it? He felt like he'd learned something from the peculiar Blake manuscript, but he couldn't see how it would help.

Behind him, someone was recounting the things she regretted from her time with some religious group. She had pressured her friends and family to attend classes or at least donate money to the group, then mercilessly cut off her parents and anyone else who tried to tell her she'd joined a cult.

"No one joins a cult," said someone else. The rest of the group echoed the sentiment.

That's stupid, thought Goro reflexively. They weren't kidnapped or held at gunpoint. They had all joined these groups of their own free will and gotten out the same way. Just like he had worked for Shido.

"I did, though," said the original woman. "I doubted sometimes, but I still went back there again and again…I did everything they asked. They didn't force me. Not even once." There was some sniffling and her voice thickened with tears. "How can I explain that to my family? They'll hate me!"

"None of us joined cults. We joined movements, churches, youth groups. It was only later that we realized how much we were being manipulated. Coercive environments have all kinds of tricks to keep you feeling alone and ashamed, like your only salvation is in doing what the leader says, no matter what."

That sounded uncomfortably familiar. Shido's face bubbled up unbidden from Goro's subconscious.

Another woman spoke up. "You'd be surprised how forgiving people are. If you've genuinely broken ties with the cult, I think the people who love you would be happy to hear it."

There were more murmurs of assent. Goro took a moment to place the voice before realizing it was Chihaya, the fortune teller from Shinjuku.

"That said, it's important to be realistic," Chihaya continued. "The people you hurt may not ever forgive you. Some bridges stay burned. Part of making amends is not expecting anything in return. You do it because it's the right thing to do."

"What a perfect note to end on, Chihaya," said the group's leader, a soft-spoken woman. "Let's all carry that with us as we head out into the world tonight."

Maruki rejoined Goro and Ren as the group said their goodbyes and started heading out. "Did you find any new leads?" he asked.

"Maybe…we found out more about Myojo and his…what was it, again?" said Ren.

"Church of Starry Wisdom," said Goro. "There are some parallels to a sect that operated in America about 150 years ago."

"Interesting. Was there a book that mentioned it?"

Goro handed him the translation. "Knock yourself out." The last word was swallowed in a yawn.

"I have some things to mull over tonight, too. Why don't we meet up tomorrow morning?" Maruki suggested.

That decided, they all went home to get some well-earned sleep.

The next morning, Goro woke up to the scent of coffee wafting in from the kitchen. He briefly considered going out there nude and surprising Ren, but ultimately couldn't get over the idea of presenting his boyfriend with bedhead and morning breath. He got dressed, fixed his hair, brushed his teeth, and went out.

Immediately, he was relieved to be clothed. Maruki and Ren were both in the kitchen, cooking. He was even more surprised to see Sae there, sipping a mug of coffee.

"I'm glad to see you back home," said Goro. "You must have gotten in late."

"Takuto convinced me that I needed some quality sleep," she said. Her expression darkened. "I'm sorry I worried you. I know I've been…not entirely together lately. You should know that I have no intention of giving up on a cure, though."

Goro grinned at her. "Good. Neither will I."

Ren brought over a plate of steaming pork cutlets and a bowl of rice, followed by jars of umeboshi plums and pickles. He and Maruki joined the table when all the food was prepared.

"Thank you for the meal," they all said together, and dug in.

After finishing a healthy portion of katsu-don, Goro settled back in his chair and waved an offer of mini-muffins away. "Always with the snacks, Doc. What's that about, anyway?"

Maruki took one of the muffins for himself and offered them to Sae next. "It's a little dopamine boost, it increases feelings of openness and reciprocity, and it's a minor distraction from anxiety and rumination. Not everyone responds in the same way, but most people get some small benefit." He paused. "Also, I like them and I like sharing them. It makes me feel a little more positive towards people when we both enjoy the same thing."

Goro blinked in surprise. In all honesty, he hadn't expected so much thought to be behind it. He took one of the little muffins and was too busy peeling the paper from it to notice Sae and Maruki smile at each other over the plate. "I was thinking about what you said about the difference between violence and healing. My power works the same way whether I use it on someone who's friendly or hostile, as far as I know. The main difference is how they perceive it. When it's perceived as helping, it helps."

"Doesn't it also matter how much energy you put into it?" Maruki asked.

"Maybe. I do put a lot more energy into breaking chains than into evoking Personas. That was…intentionally trying to break part of their mind. They would resist, usually. That's what I felt when I tried it on Makoto."

"She perceived you as a threat?" Sae asked.

"How could she perceive me as anything? She's in a coma," Goro countered.

Ren said, "It's true that she's in a coma now, but how did she get that way? She was attacked by a mortar shell from a tank. She must have been terrified."

"Is it possible her mind is reliving the same state she was in then?" Goro asked, fidgeting. That sounded like hell to him, totally different than what he'd understood before. Sae looked equally horrified.

"I don't know about that," said Maruki thoughtfully. "Your brain doesn't just repeat memories like a video on loop. It also can't go on producing adrenaline indefinitely. Nor did my staff find any unusual physical symptoms to indicate such a thing. Besides, it doesn't explain why MSS patients appear faceless in the Metaverse."

"What is the difference between a Shadow and a Persona, when it comes down to it?" asked Ren. "A Persona is a part of someone's personality that's under their control. A Shadow is a part of someone's personality that's out of their control. They're two sides of the same coin."

"That would explain why killing one also kills the person it belongs to. Their sense of self is destroyed along with their desires," said Goro. "It also explains why my power could evoke either a Persona or a Shadow."

Maruki snapped his fingers. "But which one depends on the circumstances! Maybe, if we could get a patient into the proper environment—"

"Then instead of resisting, they might allow me to evoke a Persona," finished Goro.

"What kind of environment do you mean?" asked Sae. "You remember that all of us awakened our Personas when we were in serious danger, right?"

Goro imagined a bunch of unconscious coma patients attached to bungee cords getting shoved off a cliff and stifled a laugh.

Maruki said, "No, no — I mean, yes, I remember — but I was thinking of sensory stimulation. Sight and taste are probably out, but aromatherapy, massage, music, the sound of a loved one's voice, all have the potential to remind someone of who they are."

Ren arched an eyebrow at Goro. "Sounds like a lot more work than magical wiggly healing fingers."

"The real world always is," Goro replied. "I suppose that's why none of these entities is ever content with just ruling the Metaverse."

"Let's give it a try with Makoto," Sae suggested. "I can collect some of her things — if you think it's safe."

"It sounds like a more gentle approach may be just the thing," said Maruki, smiling.

Sae didn't take long to pick out a few items, and soon they gathered around Makoto's bed. While Sae played Makoto's favorite songs and waved her shampoo under her nose, Maruki took Goro aside.

"I had another idea while we were waiting for Sae," said Maruki. "Do you remember how Myojo had those faceless acolytes? Did that remind you of anything?"

"Right — the Mental Shutdown patients are faceless in the Metaverse," said Goro. "What does it mean, though?"

Maruki took out one of Makoto's notebooks. There was a neatly drawn diagram of a human brain with different parts colored in. Above it, Makoto had copied a quote from Haruki Murakami: "Without a proper Ego, nobody can create a personal narrative, any more than you can drive a car without an engine, or cast a shadow without a real physical object."

Goro read the quote, looked at the diagram, and waited for Maruki to tell him what it meant.

Maruki said, "I wonder if we haven't been targeting the wrong part of the brain. The Id and the Ego translate roughly to the amygdala and the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex respectively. Stimulating one doesn't necessarily translate to stimulating the other. If the amygdala was already active — in the case of people who perceived you as a threat — then that might explain why you released a Shadow instead of a Persona. And likewise, for people who perceived you as a friend, why you got a Persona instead. Their rational minds remained in control."

Goro knew next to nothing about the parts of the brain, but he thought he had the gist. "Okay, so I use my Call of Chaos on her prefrontal cortex? How do I target just that?"

"Prepping the patient as we're doing now may be enough to tilt the balance, but also — put your hand on her forehead, right at the hairline. That's as close as you can get to the right part of the brain."

"You think that'll help?"

"Perhaps!" Maruki was practically bouncing in his sandals, he was so excited about this theory.

"Good talk, Doc," said Goro, suppressing a sigh. "Any other advice?"

"Yes. Try not to push too hard. I think this has a good chance of working, but it may also require you to monitor the reaction of the patient. You did that naturally before, so just try to keep it in mind. Oh, and relax! If you bring too much stress to the interaction, it's bound to end badly."

Goro nodded and edged away before the doctor could give him any more advice.

When Makoto was deemed as ready as she would ever be, Goro and Ren entered the Metaverse.

"Her face!" said Ren at once. The doll-like blank person in the bed looked more like Makoto already.

Goro squinted at her. "No, it's not her face…just her hair. That's back to normal. Seems promising, in any case."

He put a hand on Makoto's forehead, just under the hairline, as Maruki suggested. He wasn't used to using his power gently, but he did his best. As his willpower flowed into Makoto, her features started to take shape. Controlling the flow of energy was tiring, far more than Goro expected.

Just as Goro started to feel that he couldn't keep it up any longer, Ren poked at the braid that Makoto habitually wore. "Hey…this is a headband!"

Concentration broken, Goro stopped and pulled his hand away.

While Goro collapsed into a chair, Ren looked Makoto over. "She's looking a lot more like herself." He paused at Makoto's chest, scrutinizing it closely. "Well, I'm not sure if these are quite —"

"Don't…even think…of finishing that sentence," said a raspy voice.

Goro and Ren's heads snapped up.

"Makoto!" said Ren, overjoyed.

She smiled at him. "Ren-kun. I should've known it would be you."

"Actually…." Ren stepped aside so she could see Goro.

Goro looked meaningfully at Ren. "What was that you were saying about winning our bet?"

They returned from the Metaverse to find that Makoto was awake and Sae was covering her in hugs and happy tears. Maruki laughed with relief and declared that he was going to bring them some celebratory snacks.

All Makoto wanted to know was what happened after she was knocked out at the press conference. Sae and Ren took turns telling the story, while Goro rested on a chair nearby. He felt exhausted, like he'd run a long distance.

Feeling a hand on his shoulder, Goro turned to see Shido. He didn't say anything, but just jerked his head towards the door. He turned and left without looking to see if Goro was following.

Knowing better than to ignore the cue, Goro followed Shido out into the hall and closed the ward door behind him. Shido was waiting for him and sipping nonchalantly on a cup of vending machine coffee, as if this were any ordinary day.

"I'm going to turn myself in tomorrow," he said. "Before I do, I want to know that everything is set out here."

"In what way?" said Goro, still thinking about what he'd just accomplished.

"In the way that we discussed before. Remember? You're going to be the face of my organization. Surely you couldn't have forgotten that full-ride scholarship so soon? This is a win for both of us, not to mention for the country."

Goro looked back at the ward. There were dozens of people in there, stuck in limbo between life and death, all waiting for his personal attention.

"I can't do it," he said, turning back to Shido. "My schedule is full."

Shido's smile dropped. "I'm not the only one who owes a debt to society, you know. Think of this as community service, just a little more impactful than picking up trash on the highway."

Goro waved Shido over to the door and cracked it open to reveal Sae and Makoto's reunion inside. "That's Makoto Niijima. She defended you against the angry mob that tried to kill you." He made sure Shido took a good long look, then let the door swing shut again. "This power that you said could only be used to kill…I used it to save lives today. None of these people will get better without my help. So that's what I'm going to do."

"I see…" said Shido, "…that this is going to be more difficult than I thought. If you'd rather go to jail, I could make that happen, but — "

"What? What do you mean you could make that happen?"

"When I said your laptop disappeared, that was true. I just declined to mention that I still know where it is." Shido said all of this evenly, as if he were ordering drinks and not threatening to destroy Goro's life.

Goro's hand clenched into a fist. "Whatever happened to 'at least you have a choice?'"

Shido's face took on a concerned, thoughtful expression. "That was before I saw for myself what's going on out there. The people of Japan are rudderless, following phantasms rather than accepting the truth. There are, what, a few dozen mental shutdowns? Compare that to the fate of our nation. What could be more important?"

"Nothing is more important than this to their families. I can undo some of the damage I did. Not 'maybe' or 'someday,' but right now," Goro argued.

"I'm talking about the greater good here, Akechi. Your hands need to be clean of this Metaverse nonsense. Your previous connection with me, your involvement with the Phantom Thieves, any knowledge of the Metaverse…all of that is out. I booked a TV appearance next week at the usual studio. Be there. And stay away from here in the meantime."

Shido turned and sauntered away, crushing the coffee cup and tossing it in the trash on the way out.

Shortly after Shido disappeared around a corner, the ward door opened again and Ren came into the hall.

"Hey, I came to find out if…you're…okay?" said Ren, spotting Goro's backside sticking out of a huge trash can.

Goro emerged from the trash can, frowning. "No good. Too dark. Help me with this, will you?"

He positioned himself on one side of the huge lid. Ren positioned himself on the other side, and together they lifted the heavy lid off the trash can. Goro leaned in again and came out with a crumpled paper cup. He held it up and inspected it, like fine china at a tea ceremony.

"Aw, you shouldn't have," said Ren. "Coincidentally, I'm still looking for an answer to the question about whether you're okay."

Goro shook his head. "I don't think this will do…but I have an idea. Come with me."

Tossing the cup back into the trash, Goro led Ren back to Dr. Maruki's office.

"What are we —" Ren began.

Goro beelined for the couch where Shido had been sleeping. "Look through Maruki's desk, would you? I need a clean plastic bag. With a zipper, ideally."

While Goro rifled through the meager collection of things around the couch, Ren looked through Maruki's drawers and cabinets.

"Are you sure Dr. Maruki even has that kind of bag? Why would he keep them here in his office?" Ren asked, more to fill the silence than anything.

"For the snacks. He wouldn't just leave them around to get stale, would he? There's no way he doesn't have extra containers."

Silence. Goro paused for a moment to look back at Ren. Ren was holding up a box of plastic zipper bags. "So…how many do you need?" said Ren, a smile quirking the corner of his mouth.

"Just one. As soon as I find…aha!" Goro waved Ren over and took a plastic bag. Using the bag as a glove, he carefully picked up a toothbrush and zipped it up in the bag without touching it.

"Are you gonna tell me why we just stole Shido's toothbrush? You want to dip it in the toilet or something? Because I could come up with a better prank —"

Goro smiled broadly. "I'll tell you over lunch. I'm starving."