**Warning**

Please be warned there are depictions of terrible situations such as coercion, rape, and more at the end of this chapter. Beginning in Fey's flashback, Fey's First Year at Hogwarts, the trauma, while important to the plot of the story, can be skipped if you are sensitive to such things.

Please know I do not condone these acts; they are written to define my original character's background.

Please enjoy and take care of yourselves.

Fey's Pov

My heart beat in my throat as I let my fingers brush over my lips as they tingled from our kiss.

Holy hell, my head was spinning, a grin lighting up my face as Lorenzo smirked down at me. His hand squeezed mine as our eyes took each other in, as if for the first time.

"Feeling up to sneaking out?"

"Oh, now you're up for breaking the rules with me!" I laughed, feeling light and free.

"I am always up for breaking the rules, but when you jumped in feet first last night, I was shocked!" he tugged me close, "If you lose your sanity, then what lows will the rest of us sink to?"

I pretended to think about it and grinned, "Probably setting off smoke bombs and thievery…"

Lorenzo gave me a cheeky grin, "That? That's just an average night for me."

"Really? Well, what do you have in mind now?"

"I'm thinking that we sneak out and head to the Black Lake and wait until classes end."

I laughed, "Oh, such a bad boy. Breaking the big rules!"

"You know it! Now let's get going!" he said, tugging me toward the door.

Pulling back, I pushed him toward the door, "I need to change, and you need to wait out there."

He turned to look at me over his shoulder, "You won't let me stay? I promise I won't peak."

My face flushed, and I shook my head. No way was I ready for that.

"No way," I said firmly before shutting my door in his face. I felt only slightly bad, but it was quickly erased when I heard his laugh through the door.

Stripping down to my knickers, I quickly slipped into my school clothes and freshened up. Without the tears staining my cheeks, I felt more like myself. Whoever I am nowadays because, I was still trying to figure that out.

Once I felt like myself, I snatched my wand and rushed to where Lorenzo waited, leaning against the wall and twirling his wand. Without a shared word, he took my hand and whisked me through the halls and the common room until we were walking the corridors hand in hand, heading toward the large doors that stood open leading outside.

We trotted toward the lake, careful to keep ourselves from being noticed by wandering professors. The sky was dull and grey, and the wind was mild but still chilling.

Walking hand in hand in silence, just enjoying each other's company and the beautiful fall colors that were encompassing the world around us.

I was acutely aware of his every move, my eyes constantly wandering back to him, fascinated by how he moved and the way his lips quirked up on one side when he smiled.

We walked that way, our voices soft and our hands clasped tightly together.

It wasn't until we began to see packs of students headed toward the castle that we realized we had spent the afternoon together. Without breaking our connection, we followed the students toward the castle and into the Great Hall. At our usual end of the table, the others were eating already, their plates stacked full and two open spaces on the end saved for us.

Theo's eyes landed on Lorenzo, a smile on his face until his eyes dropped to our entwined hands. His smile morphed into something I couldn't name as he seemed to glare at our entwined fingers before muttering hello and returning to his food with his head bowed.

Conversely, Mattheo commented on my lack of a school robe and whistled as his eyes swept up my legs. Head turned to stare, but he continued to laugh as Lorenzo watched with a smug grin.

I felt my cheeks reddened, and I shushed him, "Stop it."

"Come on now, Fey. How can I resist when you walk in and show off all of your wonderful assets? You look beautiful, by the way," he winked and wiggled his brows before turning back to Draco.

Lorenzo, who had already filled his plate, squeezed my hand under the table and grinned, 'I told you so,' he mouthed at me. I blushed deeper and filled my plate with a few things I knew I could eat. When I was finished, Lorenzo frowned, added a few more items to my plate, and shoved it toward me.

I nodded, knowing that I needed to eat more than I had been. Practically starving myself over the last few weeks, I had given myself headaches, stomach pains, and a lot worse without the one side effect I had wanted: weight loss.

After only a few days of regular eating, though with smaller portions, I was already feeling better.

Around the Slytherin table, others were chatting and whispering. I tried to hear what they were saying but only heard brief snippets of their conversations. Most of it seemed to be nonsense, "He's coming…", "...Bulgaria…" and "...vacation…" None of it had anything to do with me, so I relaxed and tuned them out.

Maybe it was possible that my mind was playing tricks on me. Turning everything against myself in some fucked up way. I smiled and returned to my plate of potatoes when another bit floated to me, "...Rafe Flint…"

My hand froze halfway to my mouth, and my stomach dropped to the floor, threatening to toss up everything I had just eaten. The pieces started to fit together, and conversations surrounded me, sending me more information.

It confirmed my worst fear. Rafe Flint was coming back to Hogwarts from vacation in Bulgaria with his family. I didn't know when he was due to arrive, but I was a sitting duck waiting to find out. He could be back any moment, and I could do nothing about it.

My eyes flickered to Lorenzo, and as I watched him, I wondered if he would think differently of me when he found out I had not been completely honest with him.

As if noticing my gaze, he looked up at me from across the table and smiled as he reached for the chocolate cake. When I didn't smile back, he frowned cocking his head to the side, "Are you alright, Fey?"

I shook my head, "I- I'm not sure," I told him honestly, the words tasting like bile in my mouth.

He frowned at that, but before he could say anything else, my words had drawn the attention of Blaise and Theo. They reached for my hands under the table and drew my gaze to where they sat on either side of me.

Blaise looked at me curiously, "What's wrong?"

"It's something I heard. It's freaking me out…" I admitted to them, my voice growing quieter, and a tight and all-encompassing dread filled me.

"What is it? Are people saying things? We'll handle it if they are," Theo told her, threats blazing behind his eyes, making me shiver, but not in fear.

I shook my head, "I just heard them talking about Ra-Ray-Rafe Flint…" I told them, pausing to breathe deeply, "He… oh god…" I struggled to find the words to say to them as terrible memories flashed before my eyes.

The blood, threats, and constant harassment.

It all flooded back to the forefront of my mind, and I felt dizzy, weak, but mostly terrified.

The Flint family had stepped in four years ago and used everything from their money to their power and connections to sweep it all under the rug, and when I had threatened to tell my family and the school, they had threatened in return to have my parents fired from their jobs.

It may have seemed far-fetched, but it was possible. Rafe Flint, who was related to Marcus Flint, also the biggest arsehole ever to walk the planet, had parents who were the heads of the office where my parents worked.

They held the power to take their jobs and destroy my family's only means of support.

My family wasn't wealthy. They didn't have a large enough vault to support them if anything like that happened, so I shut my mouth. They paid for my medical bills and took Rafe away after the second year when he had prayed upon another girl.

She wasn't so lucky. She lived, barely, but was forced to leave Hogwarts.

Now he was back. He would be walking the halls, and all my instincts screamed to run and hide.

"Fey?"

I couldn't speak. My throat was tight, and my head was pounding inside my skull. My lungs felt like collapsing, and my vision went in and out.

I was having a panic attack.

"Fuck," Theo whispered, "We need to get her out of her."

Blaise nodded and tugged me from where I sat. My legs wobbled and shook, but he threw an arm around me and hauled me from the Great Hall with Lorenzo on my other side.

We moved quickly; we were down in the dungeons before I knew it. They were tugging me inside our common room and helping me to sit in a chair tucked in one of the far corners of the room, only easily seen if you were looking.

"Tell us what's going on," Lorenzo said, kneeling before me. He held my hands as I placed my head between my knees.

His cheek rested on top of my hair, and he waited with an impatient Theo and Blaise on guard, surrounding us with their threatening energy, a strange feeling of safety.

"When I was a first-year…" my voice hitched in my throat, threatening to choke me as tears built in my eyes, "I-I was," My throat seemed to close, and my mouth dried, "I was, r-raped..."

The world stood still as they stopped breathing. They were frozen at my words, but I could feel their anger building. It clouded the room and made the air too thick to breathe, replacing the oxygen I desperately needed.

My lungs burned as I heard them move around me. Their rage almost palpable in the air around me.

I couldn't breathe.

Gasping, desperate for air, I clawed at my chest, pulling at my vest as I tried to relieve myself of the crushing pressure that intensified each second. There were no words said as I panicked, the silence between us seeming to separate me from them in a canyon birth as I succumbed to the raging panic.

Fey's First Year at Hogwarts

"Please be silent when we enter the Great Hall. I will escort you to the front, and you will be sorted into your houses," the women said.

I tried to remember her name. Was it McGongal? McGanagoogle? McGonaghoul? I giggled behind my sleeve, and the students around me gave me weird looks, but I kept looking straight ahead.

I was so excited to be sorted. Was I going to be a Hufflepuff like my dad? Or maybe Slytherin like my mum? Or something new?

I practically danced on my toes as I followed the other students into the Great Hall and was shocked to see the candles floating in midair. They were so beautiful, hovering over our heads and bobbing as if there was wind to blow them around.

What would they look like if all the lights were turned out? I bet it would be beautiful.

We stopped in a crowd in front of all the other students. Their eyes were on us as they whispered and wondered which students would sort into their houses. As they whispered, we were slowly called to be sorted.

I watched with awe as the students walked awkwardly to the front and sat on the little wooden stool. The hat came to life; sometimes, it took seconds, and other times, it took minutes before it shouted their house. Its voice bellowed throughout the hall, but a loud cheer would fill the hall every time.

"Lorenzo Berkshire."

A boy with floppy brown hair hopped up the steps and plopped down the stool, grinning. The hat sat on his head for two minutes, its features twisting and turning as it whispered, trying to decide before it shouted, "Slytherin!"

My heart flipped in my chest as I grinned and ran off toward the long table of Slytherins. If all the boys were going to be that cute in Slytherin, I wanted to be in that house, I thought to myself.

Three more students were called to the front: Seamus Finnigan, Hermione Granger, and Neville Longbottom, all Gryffindors. Their roars were deafening as the students were sorted one after another into the same house.

"Draco Malfoy," Professor McGonagall called out, holding the hat high over the stool and waiting.

A blonde boy strutted up to our Professor, smirking with his arms crossed over his chest. The hat didn't even get to touch his head before it shouted Slytherin for the entire hall to hear. Ginning even wider, he pranced to the Slytherins to watch the rest of us wait our turn.

A quiet boy moved next without being called, "Theodor Nott," The hat was placed on his head for thirty seconds before it shouted Slytherin, and he was gone.

I wish I could hear what the hat was saying. How did it decide so quickly where to put everyone? How did it get its job?

Is there an application? I giggled again and tried to stifle it when McGonagall shot me a look.

Wouldn't that be silly, I thought, a hat applying for a job? What would they pay him with? Thread? Buttons?

"Harry Potter."

A boy to my left moved quickly and quietly to the front. His hair was long and messy, sticking up at odd angles and covering his face. The hall was quiet for him. No one was making a sound as they watched the hat think.

Where would the boy who loved be sorted? I wondered if he was smart enough for Ravenclaw or if he was a misfit and destined for Hufflepuff. Then again, maybe he was brave enough for Gryffindor or cunning enough for Slytherin. My mind spun as I wondered where he would be placed. The hat was on his head for two minutes, and I could see Harry whispering to himself with his face scrunched up as he waited, looking like he was in pain.

"Must be Gryffindor!"

The Great Hall went crazy as the boy grinned wide. The houses that didn't get him were pouting, and Gryffindors shouted at the top of their lungs, so excited to have gotten 'the boy who lived.'

"Absolutely bonkers," I whispered to myself.

When the hall finally went silent, McGonagall called the next name on the list, and it seemed as if he was just as important as Harry was to the houses.

"Mattheo Riddle." His last name echoed through the hall. He glared at everyone as he walked up the stairs, his eyes cold and dark. The hat was placed on his head. His dark brown curls still poked out as everyone held their breath and waited for the hat's announcement.

If the hall had held their breath, they'd all be blue in the face. The hat sat on Mattheo Riddle's head for five minutes. He continued to glare as everyone stared at him, but occasionally, his eyes would glance up at the hat, and he would murmur something to himself.

The final minute was tense. The hat hadn't said a word, and Mattheo hadn't moved a muscle, but his patience was rewarded when the hat screamed Slytherin.

The hall was dead silent except for the Slytherin table, who cheered and welcomed him with open arms and grins a mile wide.

"Fey Sterling."

My heart pounded in my chest, and my feet felt heavy as lead as I walked up the steps and sat on the rickety old stool. It seemed to wobble and wiggle as I moved, so I froze and waited as the leathery old hat was placed on my head.

"Welcome to Hogwarts. Now, which house to place you?" it asked in my mind. The sensation was strange. Its voice seemed to ring in all corners of my mind, searching for something, but I didn't know what.

"How do you know where to place students?" I asked softly, not wanting anyone to hear me.

"Hmm? Well, I look through your mind. Peer into your heart and try to fit you where you belong."

"Do you make mistakes?"

He laughed, "No."

"How did you get your job?"

"Job? What job, girl? I was created for this. Born for this, it is all I know how to do."

My eyes went wide, "Wow. That's amazing."

"You thirst for knowledge, don't you?"

I nodded, "I love to learn things."

"Hmm, but that's not all, is it?"

"What do you mean?"

The hat wiggled on my head, "You're a strange one. Quirky, odd, never quite fit in with others…" he hinted.

I blushed, "Oh… that."

"Yes. Your odd talents would fit you perfectly in Hufflepuff, and your thirst for knowledge would suit you well in Ravenclaw, but there is something inside you…"

My curiosity grew, and my mind raced, "What? What is it?"

The hat fished in my mind, pulling a memory I had pushed back to the forefront. When I was ten, I saw myself sabotaging a muggle friend's school project because I wanted to win.

I cringed at the memory and frowned, "You see everything, don't you?"

"Why did you do it? She was your friend, wasn't she?"

I shrugged, "I suppose she was, but I didn't think about that when I destroyed her work. I just wanted to be the best. I wanted everyone to know how smart I was."

"And you succeeded, girl."

I nodded.

Another memory was pulled to the front of my mind. I was standing in front of her after winning. I was smiling smugly as she cried next to me. She begged me to admit that I had destroyed her project. I laughed at her and told her that I had done no such thing.

She never talked to me again, and for months, her sad, teary eyes filled my mind, but the guilt was never anything that weighed me down.

The hat laughed on top of my head, "I see everything in your mind. You thirst for acceptance from your peers. You want to be challenged academically and thrive with those who understand your need for greatness. You have traits that fit three houses, but only one will fit your heart and mind."

"Are you sure?" I asked the hat.

"Child, I have never made a mistake. In all my years, I have seen the hearts and souls of countless children pass through this school, and every time, I have placed them where they need to be…"

I waited patiently as the school looked back at me. The students at their house tables let their whispers fill the room as I tried to guess which would start cheering for me.

"Slytherin!" The hat shouted proudly.

The hall filled with cheers and grinned, "Thank you," I whispered to the hat as it was pulled off my head. I walked over to the long table of cheering students and sat with a group of first-year girls. We watched the rest of the students be sorted together, but I wasn't fully paying attention.

I was much too excited to have found my place.

They welcomed me with open arms and laughter as I found a spot on the table and turned to continue watching the sorting, which seemed to fly now that I wasn't waiting for my turn.

After the feast, a kind third-year boy approached the group of confused first-years I was among and offered to lead us to the common room. The thought was so kind that I joined in and followed them all on my way down.

He told us the password and helped us all find our dorm rooms. It had seemed like such a wonderful thing to do that when he asked me for my name and walked me personally to my room, I was blushing and giggling. Rafe had been such a welcomed presence when I was scared and alone on that first night.

During my first free period in the library, I was so excited to be surrounded by all the books I had gathered, a small pile around me to read. The sounds and the smells were so relaxing. I cracked open a book on potion, making for a bit of light reading, and let the information take me away into my happy place.

I was shocked out of my trance when a body plopped onto the sofa next to me. When I looked up, I was greeted by Rafe Flint—the dark-haired boy who had been so kind to me my first night here.

"Hello," I whispered, gazing back down at the pages of my book without seeing the words.

He smiled and moved a bit closer to me. Our legs were touching now, "I was hoping to find you here," he said gently.

A blush rose to my cheeks, "Really? Why?"

He rubbed at the back of his neck and looked away, embarrassed, "I wanted to ask if you would be willing to hang out with me?"

My heart beat loudly in my ears. He wanted to spend time with me? "You did? Why?"

"I just thought you were stunning, and I wanted to get to know you better," his hand dropped to my knee, and I blushed a deep scarlet.

"Oh, you did?"

"Yeah, I did? Would you like that too?" he asked, his voice growing softer, deeper.

I nodded and looked up at him through my lashes, "I would like that a lot."

"Wonderful. Meet me in the common room after lights out."

Now, I was confused. Weren't dates before bed? "Why after lights out?"

He grinned wickedly, "A bit of risk makes it more fun, darling," Rafe stood and waved as he walked away from me.

I was grinning like a fool. I couldn't concentrate on my book anymore, and my heart was still racing in my chest like a hummingbird. A boy had asked me out on a date. Never in a million years would I have thought I would get a date.

I squealed behind the pages and flopped onto the sofa, no longer interested in books or reading. I wanted it to be lights out already, but the day dragged on slowly. When dinner finished in the Great Hall, I was excited and ready to see Rafe again.

I darted out of the hall, and as soon as I was finished eating, my stomach flipped the entire way down to the dungeons. I hissed the password and skipped to my seventh lower-level dorms for first-years.

Two hours I spent doing my hair and fixing my clothes before I finally decided I could head down to meet him. Straightening my blouse and fluffing my hair, I peeked into the empty hall and quietly tiptoed past the closed doors to the common room. The fire was at a gentle burn, having been left unattended to burn itself out magically. I sat at the hearth and warmed my fingers, trying to shake the nervous feeling in my bones.

My eyes darted to the clock over and over as I waited.

It was now an hour past lights out, and he wasn't there. My heart was feeling heavy.

What if it was just a stupid joke?

I groaned, "I should have thought of this before…" I whispered to myself sternly.

"Should have thought of what?" a voice asked from the dark.

Startled, I jumped, holding a hand to my heart. Rafe stood a few feet away with his hand shoved in his pockets. His white school shirt had the sleeves rolled up, showing off his muscular arms without his robes. He looked devilish and handsome.

"I should have thought to bring a book," I lied smoothly, tugging at the hem of my skirt.

He nodded and came to sit by my side, "I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long," he played with his wand, "I was a bit nervous, to tell you the truth."

I laughed, "Why would you be nervous?"

He looked at me as if I was nuts, "Why wouldn't I be? You're beautiful."

My head fell to where my hands fidgeted in my lap, "Yeah, but you're a third-year, and I'm just a first-year."

He shrugged, "Age is just a number. I don't care how old we are," he moved closer and placed his arm around my waist, "I just want to get to know you."

"I want to get to know you too."

We sat like that for hours, talking and laughing as the night continued. He was sweet and kind, asking many questions to get to know the real me. He held my hand and walked me back to my dorm when we grew tired around midnight.

He stopped outside my room, took both my hands in his, and squeezed before pulling me into a hug, "I like you, Fey."

My heart beat wildly in my chest, "I like you too," I whispered, my voice coming out breathy and soft.

"Ca-can we keep this between us for now?" he asked, letting me go and looking me in the eyes nervously, "I just don't want to ruin it by telling everyone just yet."

My heart sank, and my stomach knotted, but I nodded anyway, "Of course. I don't mind at all."

His face lit up, and he pecked me on the cheek before sprinting down the hall. My fingers grazed over the skin where his lips had touched, and I turned in a daze to go to bed, feeling as if I was floating.

Every night for three months, we met in our secret places: empty classrooms, the common room after lights out, and empty broom cupboards. No one was around in the common room, the loft in the library, the gardens, broom closets, and even in our dorms.

He was the best thing to have ever happened to me. He was so sweet and kind to me, always making sure we had a chance to be alone. We grew closer and closer every day, and by December, I was in love. I couldn't stop thinking about him, or when we would meet again, I was in heaven.

At breakfast, an owl landed gracefully beside my breakfast and held out its leg, hooting and preening.

"What a good owl you are," I praised, untying the letter and small package from its leg and stretching its head before it flew off again.

Dear Fey,

Meet me in the library tonight at midnight.

There was no signature, but I knew who it was from, and a blush rushed my cheeks as my heart pounded. Untying the twine around the package, I opened it to find a small bracelet inside. It is decorated with tiny green stones and hanging charms of snakes and books.

It was beautiful. Stunning. It sparkled in the light as I slipped it on my wrist, and I knew I would never take it off.

Classes passed in a blur, and I paid little attention to what was happening around me to focus on the shiny bracelet and my date tonight to care about anything else. At eleven that night, I dressed in my best skirt and jumper before heading out. I took the long way to avoid any professors or prefects that may be out and slip into the library undetected.

It was mostly dark inside, but a faint orange glow came from deeper between the stacks, casting shadows on the books. I quietly walked through the rows and climbed the ladder that led to our special place, the lofted stacks.

In the loft, a hundred candles were lit and floating around, casting a romantic glow. A soft blanket was laid out, and Rafe rested in the middle.

Crawling over to him, I sat and gazed at all the candles as he took my hand, "Do you like it?"

"I love it. How did you manage this?"

He shrugged, grinning, "Just a bit of magic," he told me mysteriously.

I scooted closer to him as he sat up, and he took my face in his hand before kissing me. His lips were soft, and I melted under them as he held me close. He leaned me back onto the blanket as he hovered over me. His lips moved to my neck, and I moaned.

New feelings rose within my body, and it was terrifying. This was the first time I had done something like this.

His hands squeezed my hips and traveled lightly over my thighs before spreading my legs open.

"Rafe…"

He bit and sucked at my neck while his hands pulled my shirt up, exposing my chest, "You're so beautiful," he whispered, kissing the tops of my breasts.

"Rafe, please…"

Mistaking my pleading for wanting, he continued touching me as I grew nervous, "I'm not going anywhere, darling," his mouth sucked at my tender skin as he squeezed and groped me roughly. His hips ground into mine, pressing his hardness between my legs.

"No, Rafe. Stop," I pleaded, pushing his head away.

He sat up between my legs, panting, a frown marring his beautiful face, "Why?"

"I- I've never done this before…"

He smiled and touched my belly, moving closer again, "Don't worry, I'll take care of you."

Before I could move away, he yanked the cups of my bra down, exposing me as he held my hands over my head and attacked my nipples with his mouth. I groaned and struggled against him. When he finally gave me enough space, I rolled away and pulled my skirt back down, "I don't think I'm ready for this, Rafe."

His soft eyes, which were wanting and caring, turned to stone as he looked at me. I could see his anger at my words, "What do you mean you're not ready? We've been together and making out for three months."

"I'm just scared," I told him, looking down, guilt welling inside my chest.

"I told you I would take care of you…"

I shivered at his words, the tone of his voice menacing and mean. A far cry from the gentle and sweet I knew and loved.

"Fuck, I knew you were just a cock tease," he scowled at me.

"What? No!"

Rafe fixed his clothes and began gathering his things, "Of course you are, Fey. You've led me on. Let me buy you pretty things," he gestured to the bracelet on my wrist, "And now you won't put out."

Tears welled in my eyes, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

He sat back and took me in, "Really?"

I nodded, "Yes…"

Rafe momentarily looked at me before holding his arms, "Get over here then."

I hurried over on my hands and knees and crawled into his arms. He hugged me and sighed, "Fey, I need you."

"I-I'm sorry. I'm just not ready to do that…"

He held me close and whispered, "What are you ready for then, Fey, because I can't keep waiting."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, if you don't do something about this, I'm going to find someone who will," he threatened.

His words broke my heart. I didn't want him to leave me, and I didn't want him to find someone else.

I love him.

My words came out choked and nervous, "I guess I-I could do something."

Rafe grinned from ear to ear, "Thank you, baby," he said as he pressed kisses all over my face, "You don't know how bad I need it."

Sick to my stomach, I moved off his lap, and he threaded his fingers in my hair before shoving my face down to his lap.

"That it, Fey, take care of your boyfriend…"

Three weeks had passed since the library fiasco, and the guilt had eaten me alive. Rafe had tried several times, practically begging, and it hadn't felt right each time. He would frown and leave, saying he couldn't be around me if I was going to tease him.

We hadn't had a date in almost a week because of it, and I just knew that Rafe was mad at me.

Even as I tried to relax, sitting in the library reading my book after curfew, I felt guilty. It was all my fault he was mad and uncomfortable; maybe he was right, and I was being a tease.

Slamming my book closed, I stood and rubbed my temples. A headache was setting in. There would be no more reading tonight. A soft thump sounded from somewhere in the library, and I froze. When nothing else happened, I moved to gather my stack of books on the table. Reaching for the charms book that sat out of reach, I felt a hand on my back.

A scream bubbled up behind my lips, but a hand clamped down around my mouth before it could escape. My eyes darted behind me, and I relaxed when I was met with Rafe's deep brown eyes.

I sighed, smiling, "What are you doing here?"

He didn't say anything as he looked over my body.

I tried to scoot out from between him and the table, but he pushed me against it, slamming my chest against the hardwood and knocking the air from my lungs.

"Rafe," I gasped, "What are you doing?"

He gathered my hair at the base of my neck and yanked my head to the side. I cried out, tears gathering as he kissed my neck and face.

"God, Fay, it didn't have to be this way."

My heart pounded in my chest, and my body froze, "What are you talking about? What way?" Panic was clear in my voice and rising each time he kissed me.

"All you had to do was give me what I wanted," he growled as his hands pushed my legs further apart, "I just wanted you."

My eyes darted around the table, searching for my wand. I spotted it tucked between two books on potions. Slowly, I moved, reaching for it, but he pushed it away before I could snatch it.

I cried out as he yanked my head back again.

"Don't you fucking dare? You've been teasing me enough. There's no way I'm letting you get away, not when I'm so close to getting what I want," His hands moved over my body as I struggled. He ripped my shirt over my head and tore my skirt down my legs, leaving me bare in my knickers as I cried.

I clawed at him. Kicking, punching, scratching, anything I could do, but he laughed at me. His wand pressed and trailed down my spine before he waved it over my body and bound my hands above my head. I knew it was over, but still, I kicked and screamed, hoping to be found, hoping that someone would walk in and find me, save me.

"You know I picked you because I thought it would be easy to get what I wanted," he laughed, "A fat girl like you should have been happy to have a guy like me want you."

His eyes slithered down my naked body.

"I mean, look at you. Fat thighs," he pinched me, "chubby stomach," he squeezed me, "you even have big fat tits," he smirked, "I guess that's not so bad."

He yanked my legs up, and I stared at the ceiling, trying to block it out. Trying to be anywhere but there, but the pain was too much. It kept pulling me back, yanking me into a body I didn't want to be in anymore.

I cried as he stole from me and used me. With my eyes squeezed shut, I wished and prayed that it would be over soon, but his fingers pinched and squeezed, and he kissed me all over.

When he was finished with me, he looked down, smiling, "See, that wasn't so bad, was it? I told you I'd take care of you," His lips pressed against mine, slipping his tongue into my mouth as I sobbed.

Rafe left me in the library to put myself back together. When I could finally feel my legs enough, I yanked on my clothes and crawled back to the dungeons on my hands and knees until I reached my dorm.

I didn't stop until I was in my shower with the scalding water raining down on my aching body. I scrubbed myself until I was red and throbbing all over.

Still, I didn't feel clean. It was like his hands were still on me, like he was still there touching me all over, inside and out. I showered and scrubbed until the water turned cold.

Soaking wet and freezing, I stumbled out, only to be caught in the mirror. Horrified by the pink trail of blood on my inner thigh and the bruises that marked my once porcelain skin, I collapsed onto the ground and cried.

I felt hollow inside. Used and empty.

I wanted to leave my body, but I was trapped in this skin, stuck in the memories it held, so I dug my nails into my flesh and tried to claw my way out. When that didn't work, I scrambled for my wand and tried to cut myself free.

Blood flowed quickly, pooling in the wounds I created, stinging and burning before overflowing and staining the white tiled floor. I dug the tip of my wand into my legs, where he had gripped me. I stabbed and slashed at myself until there was no more room.

Then I moved to the mirror and slashed at my stomach until I was covered in blood. Darkness swirled at the edge of my vision, and I realized I didn't want to be there anymore. Before I could lose the fight inside me, I dragged my wand over my wrists as I lost all control of my body. Unable to move or speak, I let it take me over and fell onto the floor.

The rising sun shined through a crack in the bathroom door, granting me one last look at the beautiful colors of the day as the darkness consumed me.