Fey's Pov

When we returned to the castle, it was nearly two in the morning. The corridors were silent, and pitch dark, the torches long since put out. At their request, I held Blaise and Mattheo by the arm as we descended the narrow steps toward the Slytherin common room. Their biceps seemed to flex, and their bodies pushed tightly against mine, causing a tight knot to form in my stomach as heat tingled throughout my body.

Being so surrounded by them heightened my nerves and made my heart pound in my ears. I jumped when Blaise tapped the brick hiding our common room and whispered the newest password, 'Hogshead', in his low baritone voice.

The stone snake moved too slowly for my taste. Every second it took felt like an eternity, and every minuscule noise it made felt like a screaming Peeves alerting everyone to our misdoings.

Finally, as the door appeared, we rushed through, sighing in relief. The weight of our activities finally crashed down around us. The hours without sleep were catching up to us all at once, and exhaustion begged to take over.

Draco and Lorenzo fell onto the couch with a tired-looking Theo, and I wondered if they had tried to stay up and wait for us to return. Draco was tucked away against the side arm of the couch, his legs curled under him, while Theo and Lorenzo were leaning against each other with their legs stretched out.

"Aww, look at them," I said softly.

Blaise snorted, "Yeah, look at them, sleeping, not having almost been eaten by a hound."

Mattheo grabbed a pillow from a nearby chair and beat them with it until they went from sleeping to cursing and fighting. I rushed over and grabbed Mattheo by the arm, trying to snatch the pillow, but he held it out of my reach over my head as I jumped for it.

"You don't need to beat them."

"Ha, they've been sleeping peacefully. I just wanted to wake them and get them off to bed," he said, smiling innocently as the sleeping beauties rubbed their eyes and glared.

I got on my tiptoes and grabbed the pillow from his fingers. "You're so mean," I laughed, hitting him with the pillow.

Draco glared at us with his bleach-blonde hair sticking up at odd ends, "What the fuck?"

Lorenzo and Theo looked around, taking in the empty common room and the late hour before rising to their feet and wrapping me in their arms. "Thank God you made it back," Theo breathed. We were worried something had happened."

Lorenzo squeezed me tight enough to crack my back and released me, grinning to reach into his pocket and pull out a tiny white chrysalis the size of his thumb, "I got it."

He placed it in my hand, wrapping my fingers around it safely before tugging me onto the couch, "We almost didn't get it. Professor Snape had a dozen students in detention."

Draco scoffed, "Don't act like you didn't jump in and save the fucking day, Enzo."

Lorenzo's head fell to the side, confused, "What are you talking about?"

"The fucking smoke bomb you set off. Don't play dumb…"

"I didn't…"

Theo coughed, "That was me."

My eyes widened, "Really? You set off a smoke bomb?"

He nodded, "I went to the Weasleys and told them about a 'prank,'" he rolled his eyes, "I wanted to play in detention, and they handed it over half-priced," he shrugged as if it was no big deal.

It definitely was a big deal. Going to the Weasleys must have hurt. Talking to the Gryffindors, even though he lied, asking for help must have been a blow.

"Fucking Weasleys," Draco muttered sourly.

Lorenzo hollered, "They are going to get a kick out of you going to the hospital wing!"

My eyes widened as I turned to Draco. I grabbed his face and searched him for any sign of injury or illness, "Were you hurt? Why did you have to go to the hospital wing?"

He seemed to soften in my hands for a moment. His gray eyes went soft like warm taffy before he pulled away, grumbling, "I wasn't hurt. I had to distract Snape. I couldn't think of any other way to keep him out long enough for Enzo to get the moth."

"Thank you, Draco."

Lorenzo straightened in his seat, "Alright, alright, enough about Malfoy. What did you get from the forest?"

I tugged out the small vile of dew from my trouser pocket and let him examine it. Their eyes searched for something special about the water but found nothing.

"Water? You went searching for water?" Lorenzo asked, disappointed.

Mattheo nodded, "Yep. Little thing here made us hike over an hour into the Forbidden Forest for water."

I rolled my eyes, "It's dew…"

"Dew?" Theo asked, "What's so special about it?"

Blaise fielded his question, "Dew untouched by sunlight or humans."

"For at least seven days," I added, glaring at him.

"Why couldn't it be regular water?"

Mattheo scoffed, "Idiot. It has to be free of human contaminants for the transformation to work."

Lorenzo's shoulders fell as I burst out into a fit of giggles. Mattheo winked at me, and I lost my breath to laughter as Lorenzo pouted.

"Wow, sorry. I didn't know I needed to be an expert in anamagus potions."

"Alright, I'm going to bed," Theo told us, standing. He stretched his arms over his head and caused his shirt to rise. Toned, smooth skin peeked from under his shirt, and my laughter faded. I couldn't help tracing it with my eyes until the nagging feeling in the back of my mind laughed.

You're just the token fat friend, the voice taunted. Don't even bother.

"You're right," I smiled faintly as my eyes landed on the clock behind him, feeling my heart break, "We should all get to bed. It's been a long day," I gave them a thankful smile and clutched my goodies to my chest, "Thank you for everything."

They smiled back at me before we went our separate ways. I placed the potion ingredients in my closet and stripped before crawling into bed, wondering how long it would take to be worthy of them.

If I ever would be at all.

The next morning, I didn't get out of bed. My body was heavy, and my heart ached. When Twinky came to wake me, I asked her to alert my professors to my being ill.

Twinky puttered about for a few moments, ensuring I had everything I needed before leaving to do as I asked. My blankets stayed wrapped around me, and I nodded off to sleep, waiting for her return as a heavy knock startled me.

Shit, I had forgotten all about the boys. I crawled out of bed and wrapped my blanket around me tightly before leaving the comfort of my room to answer the main door. Sure enough, there they stood, dressed and waiting for me as they had promised days prior.

"We thought you'd be ready by now?" Draco teased, fixing his tie with a glint in his eye.

"I'm not going to class today. I'm not feeling very well," I told them as I sniffled.

His teasing glint was gone, replaced by worry, "Not well? Did you catch a cold in the forest?"

"I'm not sure. I just woke up feeling like absolute shite."

"Must have been the stress."

"Or when the hound attacked," Blaise added, "We'll take notes for you."

Draco looked me up and down, taking in my blanket and bedhead before turning to leave. He seemed upset, but I could only assume the worst without a reason. Blaise and Theo told me to rest, and Mattheo shot me a wink with a smile before leaving to follow them.

Looking slightly awkward, Lorenzo leaned forward against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest, "You're not lying, are you?"

My shoulders dropped. They thought I was a liar.

"No, I do feel awful, I swear."

He peered at me assessingly before nodding, "Alright," before he turned to leave, he stepped into my space, standing a few inches taller than me. Forced to look up, I didn't notice as his hands slipped under the blanket wrapped around my middle. I stiffened as he touched my bare skin. His fingertips traced gently over the creases of skin on my back before settling over my hips as his cheek rested on my head.

"I hope you feel better. We'll stop back after classes," he leaned down toward my ear, not removing his hands from my bare skin, "I didn't take you for the kind of girl to sleep naked, Fey. I like it."

My mind reeled, and I was shocked. I spit out the first thing that came to mind, "Why?"

Lorenzo smiled wide, looking mischievous and handsome, "Because I like you."

He left me there with my mouth hanging open. My mind reeled, and the little voice whispered that maybe we would be good together because he was a liar, too.

I slept for hours, fitfully waking off and on until finally, a soft knock hit my ears. Afraid it was Lorenzo again, I peeked through a crack in the door and found Dumbledore standing in the hall with his back to my door.

He turned to face the crack slightly, "Ah, Miss Sterling. I heard you weren't feeling well, but according to our deal, you have obligations."

I groaned, "I'm sorry I missed class, Headmaster. I promise I'll continue on Monday. I just needed to rest today."

He waved away my words, "No, not that," He paused, "Yes, you will continue, but right now, you have a meeting to attend. Please get dressed, preferably in the next fifteen minutes, so we are not late."

"In my school robes?"

He shook his head, "No, your muggle clothes will do for where we're going. While my friend is a witch, we want you to blend in and feel comfortable."

After shutting the door, I followed instructions and dressed in my muggle clothes before making myself presentable. There was no way I would leave anywhere without looking decent. This morning, I made a mistake. I wasn't in my right mind, answering the door looking a mess.

When I felt comfortable, I entered the hall and joined Dumbledore, who was munching on a handful of lemon drops, "Come now. We'll be leaving from Professor Snape's office so we can make it in time."

I followed as he led the way through the empty common room. Professor Snape wasn't in his office, but his fire was roaring. Given a handful of green floo powder, I followed through the floo, speaking clearly and trying not to cringe as it sucked me through time and space. It was uncomfortable, but fortunately, it only lasted momentarily until we came out the other side in a tidy office space lined with bookshelves and small green plants.

As we stepped out of the fireplace, a woman sat in an oversized, comfortable-looking chair, and a sizeable glowing lamp sat beside her on a small table. She glanced at us as we approached and smiled, "You must be Fey. Dumbledore has told me almost nothing about you at all," she laughed, "Please have a seat, and we can get started."

Dumbledore nodded at me, "Fey, this is Dr. Gemsworth. She is a graduate of Hogwarts. She left us and studied the muggle mind. You're safe here with her," he looked down at his watch, "I will be back in two hours. I must stop at the Toffee shop down the street before I head to my next appointment."

With that, he stepped out of the office, leaving me and Dr. Gemsworth alone.

"I know that this can be disorienting. Am I correct in assuming he didn't tell you anything about me?"

I nodded, "He hasn't told me anything at all."

She was a small witch, much like myself, except shorter. She had short brown hair, dark brown eyes, and a smile that wanted to be infectious.

"Well, I left Hogwarts nearly fifteen years ago. He was wrong, though, about one thing. I did not study the muggle mind," she grinned, "I just studied the mind. I have a doctorate in psychology and a master's in Mental Health Counseling."

Hope ignited in my chest, "So he brought me here because you can fix me."

She continued smiling, "Why don't we start with you telling me why you think you need fixing?"

I took a deep breath and explained it all. I left some things out but told her more when she only listened and asked more questions. She was comforting as I explained what was going on in my mind. She didn't even flinch when I told her about the little voice taunting me or how I had been hiding using my abilities.

"You say you hate yourself?"

I nodded, looking down at the floor. I did. I couldn't even stand to look at myself in the mirror for longer than a few minutes.

"And you feel scared because you feel everyone is judging you?"

I nodded again.

"It is common that those like yourself with insecurities often find themselves thinking that they are often floating in the mind of those around them," she paused, looking me over before she continued, "You'll be pleased to know that is mainly paranoia, most of those you pass in the corridors do not lead you moments thought. They are too consumed with their own lives. Believing themselves to be the main character of their lives."

My brows knit together, "So they're thinking of themselves, not me?"

She nodded, giving me a small smile, "Most are concerned with how others are seeing them just as you are concerned with what they are thinking."

"That is slightly reassuring…"

"I hoped it would be. Now, as for our next meeting, there is something that I want you to focus on," She reached into the table drawer beside her chair and took out her wand. It was made of dark wood, nearly a foot long, and was engraved with what looked like delicate leaves.

She waved it and summoned a few things to where she sat. In her hand was a notebook, hardback with a light brown cover, "In this journal, I want you to write down a list of things about yourself that you like. Try to come up with at least one each day. It can be as simple as 'I like my laugh.'

"I can try…" It would be hard work.

"Don't worry, you can ask for help if needed," She smiled, "Second, I want you to rephrase your thinking. When that little voice pops up, I want you to respond to it."

"Talk to myself? Wouldn't that make me crazier?"

She laughed, "Not at all. If the little voice calls you a liar, really think it through. How did you lie? What did you lie about? Or simply respond as if someone else told you about the little voice being mean to them."

I was still confused, "So if the voice tells me, 'I'm just the fat friend?'"

"Then I want you to respond as if someone else is telling you about it. What would you say to them? What would you say if your friend said that to you?"

I scoffed, imagining Pansy saying that to me and, worse, her believing it, "I would tell them that the voice doesn't know what they're talking about. That their body is shaped that way because of genetics and history. They have nothing to be ashamed about…" My voice died off slowly, her message sinking in as she smiled softly at me. I looked at her as my eyes began to burn.

"Thoughts like this take time and patience to rewire. We are going to start rewiring today. Can you work on this and write it all down until we meet next week?"

"Yes."