Chapter Fourteen

"Ain't no tellin'

What's around the bend

We're all just guessin'

How it's gonna end."

God Only Knows by Warren Zeiders

I leaned my head back against the old wooden church pew and my eyes settled on the grand piano in the corner of the room. Conversation from the group surrounded me, floating through the air and filling the small space with the laughter and low hum of different voices. They all sounded so cheerful, completely unbothered by this entire shitty day. I couldn't relate.

I guess, realistically, it could have been worse. It could always be worse. No one had died. We all still had our limbs attached to our bodies. We'd even been able to find a Dollar General that was pretty much untouched and had gotten a ton of supplies from it. But being on the road was hard and I had been anxious and paranoid ever since our wheels had hit the asphalt.

We'd left the safety of the old farmhouse at seven this morning and it was like every minor inconvenience that could pop up, did. I was physically and emotionally drained. The entire eight hours that were spent out in the wild had me stressed, depressed, and ready to throw hands with the people around me.

At six this morning, Abraham had stomped through the house, waking everyone up in the loudest voice he could possibly muster. He had sounded like a drill sergeant and it made me sit straight up in bed with an angry scowl that would be permanently attached to my face for the remainder of the day. If that wasn't bad enough, getting into the bathroom proved to be an impossible task for another thirty minutes and then we ran out of coffee before I could get any. I had to watch, completely heartbroken, as Rick had poured himself the biggest cup he could find and then disappeared out of the front door, whistling like he was having the best day of his life.

It all just continued to snowball downhill after that. The SUV Maggie was driving had gotten a flat tire roughly an hour down the road and it seemed like everyone, as a collective, suffered some sort of stroke, as they had contemplated just leaving the perfectly good vehicle there. Like there wasn't a whole spare tire in the floorboard of the trunk. I'd volunteered to put the spare on until we could find a decent replacement tire for it. It had taken some arguing on my part when some of the men had stepped forward then and said they would do it, but I finally got them all to back away and let me handle it. I should have just let one of them take on the task, because while I was on my knees, tightening the lug nuts, a torrential downpour proceeded to soak me to the bone.

Once we were mobile again, we'd hit a point in the road outside of LaGrange, Georgia, that was completely impassable, thanks to a multiple car pileup and a crowd of rogue walkers, so we'd had to alter our route.

Then, because why the fuck not, I'd started my period. It's not like they ever discussed the harsh realities of having a vagina in the apocalypse on the show, so it had taken me a second to pull myself together after that. I'd had to threaten Abraham, who had started complaining about the time we were making, with great bodily harm if he didn't find some kind of store that might have feminine hygiene products on the shelves.

That led us to the Dollar General. I'd organized the entire trip inside, because I didn't trust anyone at that point, and made sure they'd lined carts with plastic eighteen gallon containers that came with lids before tossing everything that might be of use inside. Mainly so none of our stuff would be ruined if the weather got bad again. We had cleared out a good chunk of the store and now had enough food, tampons, over the counter medications, hygiene items, flashlights, batteries, and formula for Judith to last us a pretty significant amount of time. And toilet paper. No one else in the group could understand this pain, but I had been around multiple times for The Great Toilet Paper Drought of 2020 and had lived enough lives before the mass production of the product to know that I had absolutely no interest in dealing with a lack of it again.

My mood had perked up a little bit after that, due to the fact that I'd made sure to pack an entire tote for Daryl, full of every pack of cigarettes and bag of pork rinds that Dollar General sold. When I'd given him the box, he'd looked shocked, like I'd just gifted him a brand new Harley. The expression on his face had made everything seem just a little bit better.

I'd noticed, throughout the short amount of time we had been on the road, that Daryl had been stuck to me like glue. When I'd changed the tire, which he almost hadn't even let me do, he'd stood right beside me the entire time, scanning the woods like a band of vigilantes was about to pop out and whisk me away to Neverland. When I'd trekked six feet into the treeline through the mud to pee, Daryl had followed me and promptly stood guard maybe sixteen inches in front of me with his face towards the road. He hadn't gone into the Dollar General with us, but he'd stayed by the door, keeping watch, and I felt his eyes track me through the store every so often.

I knew his newfound over-the-top behavior had everything to do with the Claimers and maybe a little to do with the kiss from yesterday. It didn't necessarily bother me, but I knew he was going to have to loosen the reins a little at some point.

Now, here we were, having taken up residence for the night at New Hope Baptist Church, in the middle of Bumfuck Nowhere, Georgia. There were still a few good hours of daylight left when we'd been forced to set up camp in this small, dusty church in the middle of the woods. However, it had started raining again, in the worst possible way, and it had been almost impossible to see enough to drive. Plus, Merle was on his bike and we couldn't exactly carry on with him getting the snot beat out of him by the elements.

The church held very little similarities to the one I knew Gabriel was in. It had a creepier vibe to it and was the kind of old church in the south that you just knew had some weird, dark history behind it. The inside was all wood and looked like it hadn't been updated since the early 1900's. There were tall, skinny windows that were spaced out every so often and the newest thing in the place had to be either the red pew cushions or the beautiful piano. There was a large, painted black cross that stood proud against the far back wall, behind where the pastor would stand to give his sermons. They didn't seem to be much for decorations, as nothing else hung on the walls.

Conversation carried on around me. I'd forced everyone into bringing in the tubs of supplies from the Dollar General that we had stored in the back of Abraham's truck to avoid anything getting ruined by the walls of water that were falling from the sky. Currently, they were going through the massive amounts of food and passing out various things for dinner. I could see Jax and Carl sitting against the wall going in on a bag of sour gummy worms together. They looked downright delighted.

I felt restless, but exhausted. I didn't know what to do with myself, so I stood from the seat on the bench I was occupying and took up residence staring out one of the dusty windows. It was almost dark and the rain was still coming down so hard that I could barely see the road. The sound of thunder rolled through every so often, sending tremors through the old building. I was actively trying to ignore the groan of the walls when the wind pushed up against them when I felt a shoulder bump mine.

Looking up, I found Merle standing there with a can of opened Spaghettio's in his hand. He offered it to me with a plastic spoon.

"You should eat something, angel. Keep your strength up," he said, gesturing for me to take the food.

I gave him a small smile and reached for the can, even though the thought of putting anything on my stomach sounded awful. "Thank you. I appreciate it."

He nodded his head and stepped away as I turned back to the window and began to force myself to eat.

My mind spun in a hundred different ways as I watched the rain beat against the glass. I felt like I was almost having a panic attack. I wasn't totally sure why, as there was currently nothing to actually panic about, but I felt an uneasy feeling settle in my soul and my brain wouldn't shut off. So I stood there, until the outside world fell into complete darkness and the only thing I could see was the moonbeams bouncing off of the rain drops.

For some reason, I kept wondering if me altering the events that were supposed to have happened would make the group weak. That thought was quickly followed by "what if I'm leading them into something far worse than them wandering around Virginia on foot and having to eat a dog?"

Eventually, the sound of piano keys dinging caught my attention. I turned, finding Jax sitting at the large piano pressing on a few keys cautiously. He looked so small in front of the giant instrument and I wondered briefly if he would ever hit a growth spurt, or if his family had just been small people.

I made my way to him, tossing the now empty can into a small trash can as I went.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked him after tapping my pointer finger against the side of his head softly.

His hazel eyes snapped up to mine and a bright smile lifted his face. He nodded his head.

"I don't know how to play it. I was just touching it," he said as I slid onto the bench next to him.

I felt a rush of euphoria when I lifted my hands and felt the smooth finish of the keys under my fingertips.

I looked at him and smiled. "Do you want me to teach you something?"

"You know how?" He asked, his eyes growing wide.

I nodded. "I learned a very, very long time ago."

"When you were a kid?"

"When I was fifteen. Here, give me your hands." He placed his hands in mine and I lined his fingers up on the keys, putting mine on top. "Do you know who Beethoven is?"

He shook his head. "That's a weird name."

I couldn't help but laugh. "It is. He was a famous piano player that was born a real long time ago. I'm going to show you Fur Elise. It's one of his most famous songs. Watch my fingers and move yours with them. We're going to go real slow until you learn it, okay?"

He bobbed his head up and down and I started moving my fingers, feeling his small ones move below mine, as I showed him the A section of the song. We did it over forty times and watching his face light up every time he remembered which note was next made a warmth settle in my chest. I had taught this song to so many students when I was a teacher that it was just muscle memory at this point. It was also one that I played in every life after, too, because the song was beautiful.

"Okay, let me try," he said, his face looking concentrated as he put his fingers where mine had been.

I folded my hands in my lap and watched as he played the small section of the song. It was slow and choppy, but he remembered every key and when he finished, we heard clapping. I looked up to find Hershel sitting in the front church pew closest to us with a wide smile on his face.

"That was always my favorite Beethoven piece," he said.

"And Jax did amazing, didn't he?" I asked, looking at him with a raised brow, hoping he would get the hint.

"The best," the older man agreed with a wink.

"Can you play it for me faster? So I can hear how it's supposed to sound?" Jax asked, looking up at me.

I nodded my head, "Do you want me to play the version I just showed you or the longer one?"

"Longer one," he responded instantly.

I played him the song, and he sat still the entire time, watching as I hit every note like it was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen. When I finished, he wrapped his hand around my forearm.

"That was so fast. I'll never get that fast."

"One day you can. You just have to practice. It took me a long time to be able to play that, especially without the music in front of me," I explained as I pushed some of his hair out of his eyes.

"Can you play me another song? With words?"

I looked down at him, my eyebrows raising. "You want me to sing?"

He nodded his head and I sat there for a moment, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed. I'd never had any kind of stage fright, but literally everyone was scattered about across this tiny church. I shook my head and pushed down the apprehensiveness. If Jax wanted a song, I was going to play him a song.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. My fingers began to move and for the first time all day I felt completely at peace. I didn't know what I was going to play him until I heard the notes start to blend together into one of my favorite songs. His head leaned onto my shoulder and he snuggled his body as close to mine as he could while still allowing my hands to move across the piano. I felt his little head bobbing along slightly to the music and my chest tightened at the feeling.

When I finished, Jax looked up at me through his lashes, keeping his head on me. "That was really pretty, Lettie."

"What song was that? It was beautiful," I heard a soft voice ask from behind me.

I craned my neck to see Beth sitting cross legged behind me with Zach next to her. The girl had a soft smile on her face. My eyes snagged on Daryl, who was sitting on the backrest of one of the last pews with his crossbow beside him, staring at me. I felt my face flush before I glanced back at Beth.

I opened my mouth to tell her the song name, when Hershel cut me off. "It's the Beatles. Let It Be. Your momma loved that song."

My eyes locked on Hershel's, who had a ghost of a smile painted on his wrinkled face.

"Can you play something else?" Beth asked, "You're very talented."

I played three more songs, mainly for Jax and Beth, but the others were in various spots around the church, quietly listening. It made the day not seem as rough as it had been. Music had always been my safe space and that had never changed.

When we were finished, I made Jax a small pallet on the ground against the east wall with the cushions from one of the pews. When I made myself one near him and got comfortable on the very uncomfortable sleeping arrangement, he fell asleep almost instantly. His soft snores mingled with the sound of the storm that was still raging outside.

Merle set up a spot for himself a couple feet away and I listened as everyone else started sorting out their own "beds" for the night. I felt the panic start to creep in when candles were blown out and flashlights were shut off. The darkness settled in around me and it felt like it was difficult to breathe.

I sat up slightly to look around the pitch-black room until I found who I was looking for. Daryl was perched in a chair, staring out one of the dark windows next to the doors with his crossbow resting across his knees. I didn't want to bother him when he was keeping watch again, so I laid on my back and stared up at the pitched ceiling, willing my heart rate to slow down.

I really needed to get a handle on this. I couldn't expect Daryl to be close enough to me to touch every single night or even when it was just dark. That wasn't even remotely logical. I was fine. I wasn't a child anymore and I had nothing to be scared of here. Kind of. I mean, outside of the dead or the crazies wandering the world. In this room, right now, I had nothing to be afraid of.

My finger started a quiet tapping against my stomach. I wasn't sure how long I laid there, listening to the breathing around me, the rain beating against the old building, and the thunder booming so loud that I could feel its vibrations through the narrow cushion I was laying on. I became so in tune with the various sounds and feelings that the moment something shifted, I felt it.

I heard the snap of a twig break outside the window closest to me and I could tell, from the crack of the break, that it was in no way caused by the fierce storm. I was up on my feet with my gun in my hand quickly, quietly pressing my back to the wall beside the window. A soft splash sounded, like someone had stepped in a puddle.

I squinted my eyes and barely peaked my head around the window. All I could see was the darkness and the rain quickly pelting the ground. My eyes desperately looked across the small field, trying to figure out where the noise had come from. When I felt a breath ruffle my hair, I about jumped out of my skin.

I jerked my head to find Daryl standing beside me, his eyebrows drawn together and head tilted as he stared at me. "What're ya lookin' at?"

"There's something outside," I whispered, "I heard it."

He hastily stepped around me into the window, his eyes becoming almost predatory as he looked out at the field that led up into a treeline. He soundlessly walked down the wall, cautious not to step on anyone as he went, and pausing at every single pane to stare out into the night. When he seemed satisfied with what he saw, he made his way back to me, stopping again in front of the one I was still standing by.

"Don't see nothin'," he grunted.

My throat tightened as panic flooded me. "Daryl, I'm telling you that I heard something. I'm not an idiot. There's something out there. Or there was, at least."

"Prolly just an animal, Broadway. I ain't seen nothin' up there and I ain't hearin' nothin' now. No tracks in the mud leadin' up the windows, neither. Look," he grasped my forearm and pulled me into him, pointing towards the ground on the other side of the glass.

He was right. I didn't see anything, but that didn't mean shit. If they or it were stepping in puddles, the water would cover up the tracks when their foot moved anyway.

"Ya sure yer not just having a bad night?" he asked quietly, his lips drawn downward in a deep frown.

"I am, but that's not what this is," I insisted, annoyed that it felt like he was questioning my sanity at this point.

"Alright. I'll keep watch on this side for a bit. Make sure nothin's happenin' out there. Ya need some sleep though. I'll wake ya up if I see somethin'."

He sounded like he didn't believe me and that actually kind of hurt, but the doubt on his face was making me skeptical of myself, too. What if I was just tired? What if the anxiety and the steady paranoia I'd been feeling all day, that had been intensified by the darkness we were now in, was making me crazy? It was possible.

I let out a sigh and nodded my head before scanning the outside just one more time and coming up empty.

When he spoke again, it sounded like he was trying to calm a rabid animal and I hated every bit of it. "'M gonna put the chair right over here by this window, right by ya. I'll stay over here 'til ya fall asleep, okay?"

I nodded again and quickly got back onto my bed, curling in on myself and wrapping my arms around my knees. I was embarrassed, almost, although there really wasn't anything to be embarrassed about.

I listened as Daryl brought his chair to the window, like he said he would, and positioned himself right next to my head. I glanced up, seeing the outline of the crossbow across his knees. His left hand dropped down, hanging next to my head, and I knew Daryl well enough by now to know the motion wasn't just to get comfortable. It was an invitation, one I took eagerly.

I reached up and threaded my fingers through his, feeling his rough palm against mine and his fingers squeezing my hand tight. It was an awkward angle, as I had to have my arm up in the air a little to make it happen, but it made me start to feel a little better. He bent over then, leaning down to his side, and brought the back of my hand up to meet his lips. He pressed one quick kiss there before dropping our hands to the side again as he straightened back up.

A warmth flooded me at the gesture and I felt my heart rate slowly return to normal. I tried to stay awake for just a little bit longer, to listen, but sleep pulled me under quickly.

I wasn't sure if I had some kind of killer sixth sense in this life or what, but I woke up thirty seconds before it happened. I was in a damn near comatose level of sleep and then all of a sudden my eyes popped open and I was pulling in a gasp of air, like I had been holding my breath. A chill swept over my skin, causing every hair on my body to stand to attention.

I sat straight up on the cushions I was on and my eyes darted around, landing on Daryl, who was now standing at the front window, near the doors, with his arms folded across his chest and his crossbow slung behind his back.

A shadow passed by the window closest to me, breaking up the moonlight that was streaming through the glass. And then another and another and another. I squinted my eyes and when my brain registered what I was seeing, my heart jumped into my throat. Walkers. So. Many. Walkers. Heading straight down the outside walls of the church and towards the front, like they were on a mission. I could hear their grunts and moans and the sloshing of the mud underneath their feet as they trekked through the still raging storm.

"Daryl!" I yelled, jumping up off the ground and grabbing my gun, "Daryl, make sure those front doors are locked!"

I heard him jump into action as I grabbed at Jax's shoulders and shook him while yelling for everyone to, "Wake the fuck up!"

The room came alive with the sound of boots hitting the wooden floor, Judith's cries, and weapons being grabbed from wherever they had been laid for night. Daryl, realizing what was happening, had started shouting to the rest of the group. Lights started flickering on in my peripherals, but I paid them no attention as I continued to shake the boy before me.

Jax's eyes popped open and landed on mine, confusion and surprise making his eyes round. "Listen, the dead are outside. I need you to hide. Now. Don't come out until I specifically tell you to. Do you understand?"

He started to nod his head when I heard Merle yell my name. He still looked like he was half asleep as he started gesturing towards the underneath of the piano. "Get under here, kid. Move it!"

And then the sound of something heavy hitting the front doors registered, like something was kicking at them. I felt anger and dread settle into the pit of my stomach. I snapped my head around to find Daryl with his back to the door, trying to hold the thing together as everyone rushed towards him to help. We all realized at the same time that they were too late when the door started to shatter.

This is not going to end well.

"Carl!" I yelled, "Bring Judith and get over here!"

The boy, who had Judith in his arms and a gun in his hand, was standing near the podium looking like he was ready to take on the world, but his eyes locked on mine and he nodded his head once. He rushed toward the piano and crawled underneath it, while carefully balancing the baby in his arms. I pushed Jax underneath, where he settled in next to Carl. Merle helped me barricade them in with the cushions we had been sleeping on, not stopping until they were no longer visible.

I started to turn back to the front doors, noticing that Beth, Hershel, and Eugene were standing in the corner furthest from the doors, each with a small weapon in hand. My eyes locked on the group at the front who were fighting to keep the doors closed. There were new holes in the double doors that had the decaying hands of walkers clawing through, trying to scratch at the people closest to them.

"The door is coming down! We can't hold them!" Rick yelled.

"There's a vast ocean of shit behind these doors people! Put your life jackets on because we're about to be chest fucking deep in it!" Abraham called.

Just like when I was with the Claimers, I felt a calmness wash over me as I took in a deep breath. This was going to happen if I wanted it to or not, so it was time to put my big girl panties on and handle it.

Gripping my gun tight in my right hand, I sprinted down the middle row across the small church with Merle behind me the entire way. I grabbed a piece of the splintered door from the floor in front of the group. It was sharp enough on one side to break through to the brain as long as I went through the eye.

Daryl, Rick, Glenn, Maggie, Michonne, Abraham, and Tyreese were pushing against the door, while Zach, Rosita, Sasha, Carol, Tara, and Karen were standing in front of them, swinging at stray zombie arms that broke through and chopping them off. The floor was already littered with a few of the foul smelling limbs.

"Let them in!" I yelled, "We're going to have to fight them!"

Daryl's eyes met mine as I held my very Buffy the Vampire Slayer-esque wooden stake in one hand and my gun in the other. His gaze was steady as he looked at me, but I could see his nostrils flare.

"On the count of three, everyone get off the door and get ready! Try to keep the church pews between you and the walkers," Rick called as he struggled to take in deep breaths, "One. Two. Three!"

The group rushed towards Merle and I. I planted my feet solidly on the ground and had about ten seconds before the doors fractured for the last time and a sea of the dead spilled into the church. My breath caught as I realized there were at least fifty of them barreling towards us. Nothing but the sound of heavy rain and the gnashing of rotten teeth filled my ears, quickly followed by what I was confident was a war cry from Abraham.

Daryl sandwiched me between his and Merle's shoulders as he took aim and the first walker dropped a few feet in front of me. I pulled in a deep breath, sending up a prayer to whoever was listening to just get us through until daybreak, and then threw myself into the fight.

I didn't have any business being so eager to slaughter the dead, because, while I wouldn't say I'd been lucky since I'd been here, I had been fortunate enough not to deal with walkers a whole lot. You wouldn't know that if you had been watching me avoid the use of my perfectly good gun in favor of using my makeshift stake to spear through the heads of the undead and bringing my foot up to kick their now for real dead bodies back and off the weapon. All I cared about was not letting any of them far enough back to get to the kids. I would have to be dead before that happened.

As I shoved the stake into what had to be the sixth or seventh walker I'd taken down, I could finally see the herd start thinning out. I didn't let myself feel the relief I so desperately needed, because the moment I relaxed would be the moment one of them got the better of me. I honed in, my eyes focusing on the last few walkers stumbling up the steps and through the shattered doors.

As I took down another one, the darting of a shadow that was too fast to be a walker zipped by the hole that had once been a door. Everything clicked at once. Someone had done this. There was no way this herd had just stumbled upon us by accident. And I had heard the pounding on the door right before everyone had gotten there. Walkers didn't do that. Someone had been trying to break the door down to let these things inside.

Motherfucker.

I took off like a lightning bolt, jumping over bodies and pushing aside one walker that had reached for me. Multiple cries of protest rang out around me, but I kept moving. The rain was still coming down in buckets as I came to a stop just outside the entryway and I had to fight my eyes to adjust to the darkness outside. Rain hit me from every angle and a stiff wind was blowing so hard that it felt like it was about to push me right over. I saw a shadow duck behind Abraham's truck. I tossed the piece of wood I still had clutched in my palm and my legs were working before my mind could catch up to what my body was doing.

I was grateful, as I sprinted across the wet ground, that I had slept in my boots. If I'd tried to run through this barefoot, I surely would have tripped and died.

I rounded the truck with my gun raised and came face to face with a ridiculously tall, skinny man. His hair was longer than mine and he had a beard that was just as lengthy. He wore jeans that were obviously falling off his hips and a plaid button up that had to be three sizes too big. His brown eyes met mine and a sound that could only be described as a squeak fell from his lips. Then he was running, probably faster than I'd ever seen anyone run in my life, towards the tree's.

"Stop! Right now!" I yelled at him, "I'll shoot!"

And I meant it. I was so sick of people thinking they could just do whatever the fuck they wanted to whoever they wanted to do it to, just because the world had fallen apart. Like we all weren't struggling just to stay alive amidst all of this crazy shit. I was at my absolute wits end as I took aim and pulled the trigger.

The bullet hit him in his left butt cheek, which is exactly where I had intended. He fell to the wet ground, his hand reaching back to grab at the wound as he let out a dramatic howl.

"Oh, quit your crying. I told you to stop," I snapped, as I closed the twenty feet between us.

Any bit of empathy I possessed had evaporated from my body as I reached down, grasping at the man's bicep and yanking him to his feet. He was surprisingly light for how tall he was.

He started babbling in between his cries of desperation. "You fucking shot me! You shot an unarmed man!"

"Did you not just lead an entire congregation of the dead to our front door? Are you insane?" I barked, still dragging him towards the church.

He didn't say anything else after that, just let out whimpers every time he was forced to put any weight on his left side.

I could see Daryl, Rick, Merle, and Abraham standing in front of the church, watching me as I made my way towards them. No one made a move or offered to help in any way, just watched as I trudged through the muck with public enemy number one in tow.

I didn't exactly know what I was going to do once I got him in there, but someone else could decide. If it were up to me in my current emotional state, I would end up putting a bullet in his head.

Who the fuck are you right now? My inner voice asked.

A woman tired of having men try to kill her and the people she cares about, that's who the fuck I am. The darker part of me responded.

The nicer part of me shut up then, because there was no arguing with that logic.

When I was within a few feet of the group, I shoved the man towards them. He stumbled, but was righted by Abraham, who quickly locked his arm around the man's throat.

"He led them here. He's the reason we're in the middle of this shit show."

I barely recognized my own voice. The calmness from before had taken a vacation, because it was nowhere to be found. I was tired and wet and pissed that nothing in this god forsaken place could go right for just one day. I didn't think it was an unreasonable ask. I just needed one twenty-four hour period where no one kidnapped me or tried to kill me or hurt my feelings.

I marched through the doors, stepping over bodies and ignoring the glances of the people around me. More flashlights and the battery powered lanterns we had gotten earlier in the day had been lit throughout, making it easier to see. Most people seemed to be trying to drag the dead out of the door with little success. Jax, Carl, and Judith were sitting on the floor next to the pastor's podium. Jax's eyes were wide and his mouth was slack as I approached them.

"Did you get hurt?" he asked quietly, pointing towards my body.

I looked down. Streaks of walker blood covered the thighs of my jeans and the front of the light blue t-shirt I was wearing. The heavy rain had done nothing to clean me.

I shook my head, looking back up at him. "Not mine. Are you okay? Are all of you okay?"

"Yeah, they didn't get close to us," Carl confirmed, nodding his head slightly with his mouth set in a tight line.

"Wait! Wait! There's no one else! I was just trying to feed my family!"

I turned to find the man shoved against the wall, between the doorway and the window Daryl had been standing at when I woke up. Rick had his gun trained on the man's forehead as he said something quietly and others were standing in a semicircle around them. But the words that had left the strangers mouth had thrown gasoline on the anger still burning in me.

"And what the fuck did you think we were doing in here?" I barked, taking back off across the church, "We have fucking children in here, you giant asshole. And you did all of this for what? Because you wanted our supplies that we worked our asses off to get?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," he said, shaking his long hair as I neared him. When his eyes met mine, I realized he was a lot younger than I thought he was originally, "This is a food desert. We didn't have a lot of grocery stores in this area before and the ones we did have got raided fast. I have a wife and two kids at home that I have to feed. I saw you all bringing in all those containers last night and I just... I just wanted to feed my kids."

"I don't believe a damn thing he's sayin'," Daryl bit out from beside me.

I could see the tears forming in his eyes and something in me knew that he was being honest, but the fact that he had put my people in jeopardy had halted my ability to feel sorry for him.

"You know, if you had just asked, we would have given you some food. Fuck, we might have even invited you and your family to come with us, but you shot that all to hell. Have you done this before? Led walkers to people just so they'd take them out and you'd get their supplies?"

I'm not sure what I expected his answer to be, but I sure did not expect him to be honest.

His face crumpled once more as he looked up at me and nodded. "Twice before."

Disgust raked through my body. I couldn't even look at him anymore.

"Can we just tie him up? Figure out what we're doing and then deal with him afterwards?" I asked, my attention turning towards Rick, who was watching the man with the same repulsion that I felt.

"Sounds good to me," he agreed quietly, "You make one move and I'll put a bullet in your head myself."

I turned away and walked slowly towards one of the pews, letting myself fall into the seat with a thud. My body hurt so bad I couldn't even find it in me to care that I was still soaking wet.

I listened as it was decided that we would stay until the sun came up, which should be in about three hours. Two people would stand watch at the door and one would stay next to our new captive. When Rick asked Daryl if he would watch the man, my head immediately lifted and nearly went full Exorcist as I spun to face the group.

"Not a snowball's chance in hell, Grimes. He's been up all night. He needs to get some sleep. Ask someone else," I demanded with a glare, before realizing I was being real aggressive for no reason and needed to chill out, "Please. I meant, please ask someone else. Daryl needs to rest."

Rick raised an eyebrow at me, but I was already turning back around because I felt the world start to spin around me. Nausea settled in my stomach and I suddenly felt shaky. Darkness encroached on the corners of my vision before completely consuming it and pulling me under.