Inspired by a photograph of a model "Ship of the Damned" replete with screaming skulls and dancing dead - one Hell of a model and my hat goes off to the modeller. It inspired this short...
An artist's impression, created to a constant 1:350 scale by the talented Mr Grinjer of the Guild of Artificers (sub-branch: The Ankh-Morpork and International Scale Modellers Association), of an apparition seen on the high seas near Omnia and Ephebe by reputable members of the Sailors' Guild, who were definitely not on the rum at the time. (Captain Jenkins of the Milka assures us the rum ration was running low and was being strictly limited). There is a legend preserved in both myth and in the Book of the Prophet Brutha, held most holy by most Omnian denominations, that the ship which conveyed the Prophet to Ephebe was doomed following the slaying of an albatross ordered by Deacon Vorbis. this was carried out at his express command by the vessel's captain. A demoness masquerading as a Sea Goddess then cursed the vessel and caused it to founder, with its crew of Men and Rats then doomed to roam the high seas for all eternity (note - we know it was in reality the Lady Libertina, goddess of the oceans. The Omnians use different terminology, so if the Lady is offended by being described as a demoness, she might care to look in their direction? We are only quoting their Scripture, and the Times, which strives for reporting accuracy, does not necessarily share the viewpoints of those we report - WdW). Captain Jenkins has no doubt this is that very same Omnian vessel.
It has been pointed out that there is a second myth, of a ship called something like Die Vliegende Kerrigiense, The Flying Kerrigian, whose captain during a period of poor winds lost patience and said something he later came to regret, about "If Libertina doesn't stop being a bloody bitch, it'll take years to get to the colonies in Howondaland..." only he would most likely have said it in Kerrigian. ("Ze is vandaag een echte teef! Waarom zijn alle godinnen zo'n groepje klootzakken?") (1). Unfortunately for Captain van Draadtrekker, a passing gannet heard his words and snitched on him to Libertina, as all seabirds do... she obliged with a wind, and the rest is Mythology.
(1) Created by - an imperfect grasp of Dutch, plus checking in Google Translate, plus a handy directory of more demotic Dutch was used here. On the FB page, I asked if Dutch use words like "bliksem"? I meant this in the Afrikaans sense of the word, but a Dutch reader kindly replied that the word means "lightning" in Dutch and appeared innocent of the South African local interpretation of the word "bliksem". I thanked him with a "Dank je" and said
"Ah. I wondered that. "lightning" or "lightning strike" is a secondary meaning in Afrikaans, but it can be used more to describe an unworthy, lacking or generally unpleasant person ("Jou bliksem!"). I wondered if Dutch has a similar association, but maybe there it is only "lightning"). It's all in the context... Ek is 'n leerder. Hoofsaaklik in Afrikaans. (een bietjie nederlandse taal ook kom)"
to which a South African reader who had been following the conversation replied "Ek lag nou so hard." I politely hoped she was laughing at the gags and not at my command of Afrikaans. "Lag. So goed soos 'n bier! Lekker. Ek is bly vir jou, ek hoop nie by my praat Afrikaans nie..."
FB. A great forum...