Chapter 14

Elizabeth's room

Jason decided that if he could not get answers then he would go to Francis but he has a pass at the moment since he is steering. He opens the door and she is sitting on the window seat sketching. He puts his hands in his pockets and she looks up at him. She gives a half smile and says " I never noticed you do that until now. You put your hands in your pockets a lot when you are around me. I never understood why." Jason says " My conclusion would be to stop myself from touching you." Elizabeth says " Oh well I think it is kind of cute." Jason says " I know you are stalling. I will start. I think based on the conversation I forgave someone that hurt you and you forgave them and me. But it was so bad that Francis did not recognize me."

" I did not bring it up because it involved Jake and I do not want him to be angry at you. He just forgave you and there are more important things to worry about." She says. Jason gets on one knee in front of her, grabs her hand, and kisses it. " It is ok to be upset with me. Let it out. I can handle it." He says. She tells him about what happened back then and he listens as he sits on the ground and once she is done a tear falls and then another. " Did she ever apologize? Did I?" He says. She shakes her no. " Why did you forgive her? Why did you forgive me?" Jason whispers. " Because at one point you were gone and our sons are brothers and we had to get along for them. But I forgave her because to hold onto it would have spread to our sons and I love our more than I was angry about what she did. She saved his life and I saved her." She pauses.

" We were never best friends and we had our share of fights. We hated each other for so long but I forgave her because she understood how it felt to come second to Carly and how it felt to love you. I loved you that much I forgave you for that and because I felt guilty for everything I have put you through I guess sometimes I felt I deserved it. Looking back, Lucky knew that and he played on my guilt complex. We both went back to people who hurt us, we hurt them, in ways we went back to what was safe, and they both endangered our children and so did we buy being with them. We were young and both trying to please people. I don't hate you, I never did. I had moments where you may have felt like I did and for that I am sorry. I don't know why I am so cruel to you sometimes ." She says.

" It may be because you have not fully forgiven me or yourself. I have hurt you and you hurt me. I think Carly is a factor from what I understand. You felt second best and from what you told me your parents made you feel that way. You want to be the mom that your mother was not and have a father for your children but in doing so you accept less than what you deserve. Our sons deserve to see their mother happy and in a relationship where she is put first so, they know what is acceptable. I want all of our sons to find a woman like you but you have to forgive yourself so that you will not accept less than what you deserve and that will lead to you forgiving me so that you can fully heal." He says.

" That is an astute observation and if you want to tell Jake I will not stop you but I think it should wait until this is all over it is just my opinion. We all need to be prepared for what is coming next. I mean Cyrus went from being in the mob to being a serial killer and if he did not want to play some sick game to get in your head I would not be here. He believes that the people that he killed it was a message from God and that to deliver his message they had to die for they were in the way. I mean he killed Sam because he felt she was in the way of Lulu and Dante even though he tried to kill her. There is no reasoning with him so we have to be smarter than him. So do what you have to do and bring our boys here. Because he will try to divide and conquer." She says.

" We are a team and I do not want any secrets between us so I will tell Jake that we both made mistakes that endangered his life along with his brothers because we thought it was the right thing and that we were young and had learned from those mistakes. We will apologize and deal with his anger." Jason says. " I agree and I will support you." She says. They hear a knock and she tells them to come in and it is Jake. He puts his hands in his pocket and Elizabeth has to laugh. " Just like your father with putting your hands in your pocket. Well, we have to discuss some things with you and it will not be easy to hear and you are entitled to feel however you want and it does not change how much we love." She says.

After listening he surprises them. " I think your childhood trauma affected you both. I know Dad can't remember but it lingered. He had pressure on him to be perfect and Mom people view you as perfect because when you mess up they judge you harshly and are hypocritical. You both are people pleasers and follow your head and not your heart. I think it was screwed up that she did those things and that Dad went back to her but I think it was because he has you on a pedestal and is guilty of seeing you as perfect so much that he felt like he does not deserve you and does things to push you away and the biggest thing was going back to Sam. You date men that hate him because he does the same thing in a way. You both need to forgive each other and yourselves for being cruel to each other. You both punish yourselves more than anyone else can. Love is not the problem, it is believing you do not deserve happiness so I forgive you both because I know how much you love me and I am thankful you are my parents." He says as he hugs them both in a group hug.

" How did we get so blessed to have a son like you?" Elizabeth wonders. " I think you need to give yourself credit, Mom, and screw anyone who does not treat you right or respect you. Show them to me and I will kick their asses." Jake says. " I will excuse it this time and thank you. I love you too." Elizabeth says. " I love you Jake and I will do whatever I can to prove to you and your mother that I have earned your love and respect," Jason says. " This is your captain saying we will reach our destination in one hour. So pack what you need and get ready. Looks like we are ahead of schedule lady and gents." Francis says. " I need to apologize to him and tell him I needed to hear what he had to say." She says as she leaves to do that. " You know Dad you hit the lottery when you meet her and she puts up with us," Jake says. "I have a feeling my former self knows how special she is but we both have to believe that as long as we fight for her she will stay. Son you get a woman like or whatever you like don't be like Dad and hold on to them and make sure they know what they mean to you." Jason says. " I will Dad I will." He says.