Paid Advertising Feature, of the sort that uses exactly the same font, style and layout of the main newspaper so you mistake it for an actual news article.
A public health announcement:
Seen prominently displayed on the wall of Mr Blurt Wheeldown's Guitar and stringed Musical Instrument Emporium, Ankh-morpork's prime establishment for stringed musical instruments of all sorts, now expanded to include a first-class selection of lutes, lyres, concert harps,harpsichords, pianos, celestes and Acerian Harps!
(NB – anyone asking about Llamedosian Battle Harps will be disappointed as by order of the Patrician, we don't do that sort of thing, honest. Despite the fact we are privileged to supply stringed instruments to the Music Department of the Assassins' Guild School and have the Guild's "By Appointment sign over the door. Honest.)
"Just because that gambling casino near the river got burnt down (in a complete regrettable accident that had nothing to do with Mr Chrysoprase, honest) and some bugger of a Minstrel wrote a song about it, THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU GET TO PLAY IT IN HERE, RIGHT? We don't like to lose paying customers what gets their fingers broke, but accidents happen. The same happens with "Pathway to Paradise", and if any keyboards players even dreams of playing the long intro to that bloody "You Must Be In Time, Child" thing, then we do have to remind you, for your health and safety, that unsecured piano lids crashing down on fingers don't half hurt. THE MANAGEMENT."