Facebook Shorts written for the Times

by A.A. Pessimal

Collected short pieces originally written for a Facebook group ("The Ankh-Morpork Times - News of the Disc") To be added to as I retrieve them. A series (eventually) of very short chapters.

35. All's not As Fallow As You Hoped

Samhain Condoms… for the magickal professional in a hurry.

Or - All's Not As Fallow As You Might Have Wanted

A short for Haloween this year (2021)

Inspired by a spoof advert for "Samhain Condoms" advertising

Make every Rite a great Rite with Samhain Condoms!

When it's time to stir her cauldron with your wand, trust us to be the magic circle that holds in YOUR cone of power!

Samhain Condoms, for when you want the thinnest veil between your worlds.

I envisioned the Ankh-Morpork Times going to Nanny Ogg for a quote and a professional review.

This resulted.

Mr Wally Sonk's contribution to the season... asked for a comment, Mrs Gytha Ogg laughed in a most disconcerting way and said "Never trusted 'em. Nature always finds a way, and, 'sides, this Wicker thing is what you believe it is, and if you believe it's about Fertility, then what are you doin' with Sonkies in the first bloody place? And that five-pointed star, them Wicker people says it's a fertility symbol, right? And they've bunged it right slap-bang on the end of a sonkie? Don't matter that as far as I'm concerned it's just a star with five points. You believe it's a fertiilty symbol, and you bung it on the end of a sonkie today, you'd better have the nursery painted up and ready next July. That's all I'm sayin'. Here, mister, is that Dibbler involved in this, by any chance?"