Bad Weather

Inspired by old photos of New York in 1888 during a really bad winter

inevitably, V0.03 - in V0.02, had to write in another character from the cast of dozens. And now, Once More with Footnotes.

Ankh-Morpork in winter, after unseasonal blizzards driven straight from Far Überwald hit town. This is fresh snow which has not had time to turn yellow yet. According to our Supernatural Affairs correspondent, the Wintersmith departed in a huff as any young Ankh-Morporkian girl he approached for a dance told him to sling his hook, in no uncertain terms.

Although details are sketchy, it is also believed that he encountered Ankh-Morpork's community of Witches, who persuaded him not to loiter in this City's airspace for too long, and remember what happened last time?

Given the depth of the snow, belief in Foorgol, Lord of Avalanches, has now soared and pushed this God up the charts. The City Watch has cancelled leave and has budgeted for lots of overtime as its Trolls and Golems tirelessly clear the streets, just by walking through them. Meanwhile the witch-pilots of the Air Watch are busy providing mobile first aid, and flying casualties of Winter to the Lady Sybil via a sort of Air Ambulance.

Inspector Pessimal of the Financial and Blue-collar Crimes investigations unit has seen his completed investigations rate soar by 300%, as he has added Sergeant Detritus to the team to process the numbers for him. Also, unwary suspects who were moved to being incautious when they realised the investigating officers are Trolls (and therefore incapable of complex financial analysis of tax records and bank statements) got a brief nasty surprise. (1)

Approached for a quote, Sergeant Nadezhda Popova of the Air Watch said "Bit of snow. Nichevo. Is no big thing. Why do you let it bring city to standstill? Although if it gets colder, may need to wear scarf, and button shuba coat up to collar."

It has been pointed out that Sergeant Popova is from a nomadic horse-tribe in a region of the Vortex Plains known in the local language as "Siber'ya". Her commanding officer, Captain Romanoff, is pleased to inform us that Sergeant Popova's special expertise makes her the Air Watch's go-to person concerning flight in conditions even other Rodinians, the ones not from Siber'ya, might think of as "a bit cold and snowy". Captain Romanoff also made reference to winter weather for which her language uses words like "purga", "vyuga" and "metel".

"Lots of experience." she said, with a shrug. "Also, lots of Rodinian pilots in the Air Watch. And we all trained in Lancre and the Chalk. winters there can be interesting. Many of us were there in the very bad winter some years ago. The one where Mistress Aching had a little problem to resolve. Good experience. "

Captain Romanoff then pointed out the Air Watch has other nationalities in its ranks, and introduced me to a part-time pilot recalled to duty. Corporal Kiiki Pekkissalen, another pilot completely at home in this sort of weather, grinned confidently and said "Rodinians are good at winter. We are better! And, perkele, I always used to think this city never got a proper winter. this is good. Like it. just like Home! Perkele! If it gets too bad to fly, brought skis."

Truly, the City in ten feet of snow is in good hands.

(1) "ere, mister! when you compare the running total under Schedule D declarations for income against the sub-totals for Allowances to Dependents and Permissible Deductions Against Gross Income, and then cross-reference it to the amoritzed and audited future predictions for the tax year beginning in the Year of the Banana Slug, then I reckon we're adrift by three fousand four-hundred and thirty-seven dollars, forty nine pee and three elims. Care to explain where the difference went to, sir?" said Lance-Constable Glacial Erratic, pushing the green-glass visor back up his forehead, and looking stern.

Just your basic maffs, innit?