Back to the Start Chapter 11: Transplant, a glee fanfic

We were practicing our dance moves for Sectionals…despite the fact that we hadn't actually chosen a number yet. You know looking back, I couldn't help but think that Mr. Schue didn't quite know what he was doing. Maybe he just wanted us to be better at dancing in general. I still wasn't very good at it. I didn't know if there was anything that I could do to become good at it. It was something that I could ask Quinn about since she was a pretty good dancer, but she was pregnant and it probably wasn't the best idea to ask her to dance at the moment. Maybe we could do it after she's medically-cleared to dance again.

I was more concerned about the fact that Quinn was living with us now. We were more financially-stable than the other universe since Mom had a steady job, but it still couldn't be easy to suddenly have another mouth to feed, especially when that mouth was eating for two. I didn't really need to ask how Chrissy felt about it because she had known it was going to happen. Also she wasn't the one who had to share her room with someone else. It felt like a little weird sleeping with someone else in my bed.

In the afternoon, Mr. Schue had invited the girls from the halfway house over to our auditorium. I knew it was bad, but part of me wanted to make sure that my bag was near me at all times. I also watched their performance and I had to say that I was less impressed with it than I had been the first time. I wasn't sure why because I was still attracted to girls. Maybe it was because I was a girl now and I could see that they really weren't very good singers or dancers. They were just shaking their hair and butts to make it look like they were. Mr. Schue looked impressed by it and I could tell that he had a terrible idea in his head.

"Mr. Schue, you seem concerned." Rachel told him. Did he actually think that we would lose to them? We clobbered them before. I knew that we were unanimously voted winners of Sectionals and that was without the judges even knowing that we had made up our setlist on the fly because the other teams had cheated. I also couldn't help but wonder if that was still going to happen considering Sue wasn't around to do it.

"What? No. They were great, but we're just as good." He replied. I wasn't sure if it was the teacher in him, but he didn't seem to have the heart to say that they weren't very good. A few months ago when I wanted to be a teacher, I personally thought you couldn't only highlight the positive. Sometimes you did have to criticize.

"What they were doing was just all smoke and mirrors. It's a technique called hairography." Rachel explained. "They were moving their hair around to distract from the fact that couldn't sing or dance. Trust me. We have nothing to be afraid of."

I probably wouldn't have been as harsh as Rachel, but she was right.

The following day, Mr. Schue walked into the room with a smile on his face. I had a feeling that he should really bounce his ideas off of someone to prevent him from coming up with so many bad ones.

"Attention, everyone. I have decided on our new number for Sectionals. We're going to do the title song from Hair." He stated. I was pretty sure no one wanted to see that. Only the biggest theatre kids cared about that show. "Now this show started a revolution."

"Mr. Schue, some of us don't really have long hair." Ben pointed out. It was also worth pointing out that the show really hadn't stood the test of time because recreational drugs really weren't as cool as they were in 60s. I was pretty sure that was a part of why the show had been so popular.

"I'm one step ahead of you. I have some wigs for you to wear." He declared. I was glad that I wouldn't need to wear one. Those things were dirty and I had to wash my hair twice to get some of the stuff out.

Rachel tried to take him away. I had a feeling that he wouldn't listen to her. It wasn't often that she was right, but she was very right this time.

Later, Quinn and I were in the hallway together. I was a little bit nervous.

"So do you still want to keep the baby?" I asked.

"I think so." She answered.

"Well how are things going with Sam?" I questioned. "Maybe it's time for you to determine whether or not you really want to be with him."

"I want to be with him, but it's more that I'm not sure that he wants to be with me." She pointed out.

"Well maybe you two should hang out to figure it out." I offered. "Do you know anyone that you can babysit or something? That would kind of be a trial of raising a kid."

"I think I do." She declared.

"One more thing. Have you thought about trying to contact this guy from church camp or do you still not want to do that?" I inquired.

"I don't want to do that. I was just having sex just to have it. There was no love involved. I feel so stupid for doing it." She declared.

"Hey, I think you're going to be a great mother." I argued. "Don't worry about what other people think of you."

I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if she had decided to keep the baby. Her mother would have supported her. I probably should have still supported her. Maybe it was from hanging out with Burt, but I realized that your dad doesn't have to be your biological father. I should have done things differently and I wanted to try to make sure I did it right this time.

Later in the day, but still in-between classes, I was talking to Chrissy when James came up to us.

"Hello Faith, hello Faith's sister who I do not know the name of." He greeted us.

"It's Chrissy." She replied.

"Hello Chrissy." He corrected.

"Why are you talking to us?" I questioned. Maybe that was a little bit rude, but I was a little bit confused.

"Well I wanted to know if you wanted to go out with me tonight." He stated. I could not believe that he was asking me on a date. A guy was asking me on a date and part of me didn't just want to tell him no. He seemed like he was waiting for an answer.

"I need to think about it." I answered. It was all that I could think to say at the time. I didn't know if he would try to have sex with me or even kiss me, but it was one of the reasons that I was nervous about going with any guy. I also didn't know why I was slightly interested in him when I hadn't shown attraction to any other guy. I then walked off to class.

"Are you really considering going out with him?" Chrissy asked me.

"I don't know. I kind of want to in order to see what it feels like, but I also kind of don't." I admitted. "You know we haven't talked about your love life at all. Was there anyone that you like?"

"No. It's a little hard for to have romantic feelings since I haven't had to worry about them in about 20 years." She remarked. Part of me thought that she would have hooked up with people in heaven, even though the idea was kind of weird. "I'm just now starting to notice general attraction to people again, but I don't have anyone that I like at the moment."

I couldn't help but notice that she was blushing a little. Part of me thought that she lying but didn't want to tell me who she liked. I decided that maybe it would be a good idea to not press it because I didn't want to make her mad at me. I didn't want to start another fight between us.

I ended up turning James down. I had thought about it, but I ultimately decided that I wasn't ready for it. I just told him that I wasn't available but I would maybe talk to him about it later. I even felt a little bad for doing it. Another reason that I said no to him was that I kind of did want to give Rachel another chance. I was pretty sure that it was safe to say that I wasn't over her even if she could be pretty unbearable at times. She didn't even look like the Rachel that I fell for, but she still drew me to her somehow.

At soccer practice, I was working on my footwork. You know it was kind of weird how I couldn't dance but I could move so well on the soccer field. I didn't know how it worked. I looked over to Coach Tweedy. I wanted to help her get with Coach Kiernan, but I didn't know how to do that. I didn't know if Coach Kiernan had dated anyone since what happened and I couldn't ask her because I wasn't supposed to know about what happened in the first place.

When I got done with practice, I walked out of the locker room and I couldn't help but see Rachel was there and wearing a little black dress. She was also now taller than me because of her heels. I was a bit stunned by seeing her. I mean I always knew that Rachel was hot. Her boobs were actually smaller than before and she was still stunning. I knew that she was trying to seduce, but I couldn't say that it wasn't working. I knew that it would probably be a good idea for me to say something to her, but I wasn't sure what to say.

"Hi." I finally said.

"Hey Faith." She greeted me. "Your hair's a little wet."

"I just got done in the shower." I told her.

"That makes me think of how we met." She commented.

"Yeah, I don't really want to talk about that." I stated. I figured that I should change the subject. "You look nice."

"Thank you." She responded.

"I was wondering if you were interested in coming over on Friday night. We could do some homework together or make work on something for Glee." She replied. I wasn't sure why she didn't just ask me to go to a restaurant. Well I did have an idea why, but I seriously hoped it wasn't for that reason.

"Sure." I agreed. I did need to see how another date with Rachel went. I just wanted to keep my clothes on. I was not ready for sex in this body. I didn't know when I would be ready for sex in this body. It would probably be easier to have it with a girl since I had already done that before though. I was curious about it, but I still wasn't ready for it.

I then went to talk to Quinn about it. I hoped that she would be okay with me going out with her. I wanted to believe in Rachel.

"So do you think it's a good idea if I go out with her?" I asked.

"I still think it's a mistake, but I'm not exactly one to judge for making mistakes. I was going to be babysitting Sam's siblings with him, so you won't have to worry about me." She replied.

"Do you think something like that will convince him to stay with you?" I questioned.

"Hopefully." She remarked.

In Glee, Mr. Schue had Brittany teaching us about hairography. She didn't even need that because she was a pretty good singer on her own. I wished that someone would be able to convince him not to have us do this. It felt pretty weird to be honest. I didn't know if I wanted to do it. I couldn't quite remember what got him off of it, but I really hoped that it would happen soon.

On Friday, I prepared myself to go to Rachel's house. I knew it was a date, so I should probably wear a dress to it. I didn't really mind wearing dresses even though they were girly. They were easy to move in. It was a white belted sundress. I hoped that it would help me make a statement and that statement was "I don't want to have sex tonight."

Rachel let me into her house and told me that she needed to get ready a little bit. I wasn't sure why she needed to get ready when we weren't going to be going anywhere. I was waiting on her bed. I still wasn't sure if Rachel had actually slept with a bunch of girls or just acted like it.

"I'm ready." She told me.

"So were you going to sing a song that has to do with hairography?" I asked her.

"Well it's hair metal, so I know would say that it qualifies." She declared. You know it was kind of a bummer that there weren't any big female hair metal bands. I supposed it was because all female bands didn't really…well ever catch on. I couldn't think of one that was huge and could be considered a band.

At that point, Rachel stepped out wearing a black negligee. Yeah, she brought me here to have sex with me.

Love is like a bomb, baby come on get it on
Living like a lover with a radar phone
Looking like a tramp like a video vamp
Demolition woman, I don't need a man

Razzle and a dazzle and I flash a little light
Television lover baby go all night
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little miss a innocent sugar me yeah

Take the bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sugar on me in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me come on fire me up
Pour your sugar on me I can't get enough

I'm hot sticky sweet, from my head to my feet yeah

You got the peaches I got the cream
Sweet to taste, saccharine
Cause I'm hot, so hot sticky sweet
My head to my feet

Do you take sugar
One lump or two
Take the bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sugar on me oh in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me come on fire me up
Pour your sugar on me I can't get enough
Pour some sugar on me
Pour your sugar on me
Pour some sugar on me

Yeah sugar me

I wasn't going to lie and say that I wasn't turned by that number. It was probably the hottest that I had ever seen Rachel and that included the time she and the other girls dressed in all leather.

"Wow." I declared.

"That was only part one." She said before she once again got on top of me. She then kissed me on the neck. "Do you like it when I do this?"

"No." I moaned. It probably wasn't very convincing but I knew that I needed to stand firm. "Rachel, please get off of me."

"What's wrong?" She asked me.

"What's wrong is I think you and I had different ideas of why I came over tonight." I explained. "I'm also kind of uncomfortable seeing you like that."

"Are you saying that you don't like it?" She asked me. "I can take it off if you like."

"I mean I think it looks good on you, but I would rather it stay on you." I stated. "Rachel, I didn't come over here to just to have sex with you. I don't want to be just another girl whose heart you break."

"I thought you liked girls that this. I thought you liked bad boys and girls." She replied.

"What I like is taking things slow." I answered. "Is this about James? I don't have a thing for him."

I may have had a little thing for him, but it probably wasn't going to be something that I acted on.

"Someone told me that he asked you out." She declared. I couldn't help but wonder who had told her that. Was it Katie? Jacob? Someone else?

"And I said no." I responded. "I'm a virgin Rachel, and I'm not really looking to lose my virginity soon, but when it does happen, I don't want it to be like this with someone that I'm not even dating. I think I should go home."

I grabbed my things and headed to the car. Even though this was a setback, I was still interested in possibly having a normal relationship with Rachel. I just didn't know if that was what she wanted.

I ended up getting home before Quinn did. Then I remembered that she would need a ride home. I told her to just text me when she was ready. I heard back from her at about 9:00. I would have expected Sam's parents to be out later personally.

So I went and picked her up. I knew that we needed to talk about what happened, probably because she was wondering what happened with Rachel and I was wondering what happened with Sam.

"So how did it go?" I asked her. "Do you think Sam might want to stay with you?"

"Well it went pretty well, but I couldn't help but notice that he seemed a little bit distracted." She answered. I couldn't help but wonder why he was distracted. "I still had fun babysitting, but I also realize that things probably won't be that easy for me."

I supposed that it would be easier to take care of kids than it would to take care of a baby. I did think that she would be able to handle it though. She was the strongest person that I knew.

"So how did things go with Rachel?" She asked me. I kind of didn't want to talk about it but I recognized that we were best friends and we were supposed to talk about how our dates went with each other.

"She invited me over because she wanted to have sex with me." I answered.

"Did you?" She asked.

"No." I replied. "I'm not ready for that."

"Well I think it's good that you didn't. You don't need to have sex with her. You don't need to have sex with anyone." She replied.

"How did we get here?" I asked. "You've got someone that doesn't want you enough and I've got someone who wants me too much."

"At least the constant is that the two of us have each other." She pointed out. "Even if Sam doesn't want to raise this baby with me, I'm glad that you're around."

In Glee we were performing a number for the deaf students. I didn't know why when all they could do was see us. I also didn't like how we were performing. It was kind of degrading if you asked me. I felt even more uncomfortable than when I had Rachel on top of me.

Say my name, say my name
When no one is around you,
Say baby I love you if you aint running game
Say my name, say my name
You acting kind of shady
Aint calling me baby, why the sudden change?
Say my name, say my name
When no one is around you,
Say baby I love you if you aint running game
Say my name, say my name
You acting kind of shady
Aint calling me baby, better say my name

Any other day, I would call you would say
"Baby how's your day" but today it aint the same
Every other word is uh huh, okay
Could it be that you are at the crib with another lady
If you took it there let me say
I am not the one to sit around and be played
So prove yourself to me and the girl that you're playing
Why don't you say the things that you said to me yesterday?

I know you're saying that I'm assuming things
Something's going down that's the way it seems
Shouldn't be the reason why you're acting strange
Nobody's holding you back from me
Cause I know how you usually do
When you're saying everything to me times two
Why can't you just tell the truth?
If somebody's there just tell me who

After we were done, the deaf students came up and began to sing. While their singing was pretty bad, I couldn't help but be touched by the feeling of their songs. They knew how to connect with the music even though they couldn't hear the music. They still weren't going to beat us, but they did have heart. I then remembered that seeing them perform was what got Mr. Schue to abandon the idea of hairography. Thank God.

I found Chrissy as I was exiting the bathroom. She looked like she wanted to tell me something.

"So I have a terrible idea that will keep things on track." She told me.

"Chrissy, please stop trying to keep things on track." I told her.

"But without Sue around, who's going to leak out set list to the other teams?" She questioned.

"Why does someone have to?" I challenged. "Please do not do that. You're better than that. Do you really want to hurt the team like that?"

"No, but I just don't know what to do." She admitted.

"We're going to be okay." I told her as I put my hands on her shoulders. "Not to mention, someone else might do it. I just don't want you to do it. Will you promise me that you won't do it."

"I promise. I'm sorry for bringing it up." She told me.

Later, we were performing a song that I had suggested. I was addressed to him and also Rachel a little, but I felt the message was important.

I guess I just got lost being someone else
I tried to kill the pain but nothing ever helped
I left myself behind somewhere along the way
Hoping to come back around to find myself someday

Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you
To say that it's okay but tell me

Please, would you one time just let me be myself
So I can shine with my own light let me be myself
For a while, if you don't mind let me be myself
So I can shine with my own light let me be myself

That's all I've ever wanted from this world
Is to let me be me

Please, would you one time just let me be myself
So I can shine with my own light let me be myself

Please, would you one time just let me be myself
So I can shine with my own light let me be myself
For a while, if you don't mind let me be myself
So I can shine with my own light let me be myself
Let me be me

I was really just hoping that we would leave hairography behind us forever.

So Faith and Quinn seem to have opposite problems. Faith also learned that hairography wasn't all that it is cracked up to be. The songs are "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard, "Say My Name" by Destiny's Child and "Let Me Be Myself" by 3 Doors Down. Please don't forget to review.