A few of us girls were in the choir room before everyone got there. It was a little bit weird. I was thinking about Sadie and wondering how badly I had screwed up. Though, I wasn't sure if she would have run into Rachel and in theory she could still Rachel that Shelby is her mother at some point. I knew that Chrissy was mad at me. She wasn't in the room with us. Quinn didn't seem to be super judgmental, but a lot of people in the Glee club were not happy about it, but I was pretty sure that they thought that I was irreplaceable, which I still didn't like.
"Can I talk to you girls about something?" Jasmine asked. I was a little surprised by how she spoke up.
"Your voice really isn't that good." Santana responded. I hoped that she was conditioned to just ignore Santana's insults like I was.
"It's about dating. As you know Ben and I have been together for a little while and I've been thinking about sex. I'm pretty nervous about it. I want to know how I know it's right and when I should say no." She declared. Well this was a bit of a weird subject for me. I had had a bit of an awkward situation with Sadie, but she seemed to be okay with me not being ready. It was too bad that I couldn't tell her why I wasn't ready.
"Ugh I don't really want to hear about your hetero problems." Rachel remarked. That was not something that I expected her to say. Of course, this version of Rachel was not a virgin, at least I was pretty sure that she wasn't. You know I didn't have any proof that she had had sex with anyone, but at least she clearly wanted to.
"Can you stop talking? My baby doesn't want to hear your voice." Quinn declared. That was pretty mean.
"Quinn, be nice." I told her.
"I just want to be ready." Jasmine continued. "I'm getting and at some point, I'm going to want to do this, but I'm not sure if I want to do it now. Will he get mad at me if I say no?"
"Just do what I do and never say no." Santana offered. That was not good advice. Also her having sex with as many guys as possible to deny her feelings for Brittany was not healthy. Brittany just seemed to like sex. I was pretty sure that she wasn't a nymphomaniac, but I was kind of surprised that neither of them had any diseases.
"What's the worst that can happen?" Brittany asked. Quinn just gave her a look. "Sorry Quinn."
"If someone gets mad at you for saying no, then they're not worth it." I stated. I hoped that I sounded like I knew what I was talking about since I wasn't the most experienced person when it came to sex and I still didn't know what it was like for girls.
At that point, Mr. Schue walked over. I didn't think that he was trying to eavesdrop but we were a little bit loud.
"Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt your little girl talk, but are you really having that much boy trouble?" He asked.
"Nope, no boy trouble for me." Rachel declared. I also hadn't told him that I was dating Sadie. I couldn't help but wonder if he still knew.
"It's not something that you would understand, Mr. Schue." Quinn explained. I barely understood it. James and I had kissed, and it felt kind of weird, but not in a bad way. I was glad that I was with Sadie though.
"Well maybe you should talk to one of your female teachers or coaches?" He suggested. I talked to Coach Tweedy about a lot of things, but sex was one thing that I didn't really want to talk to her about. It was a little embarrassing.
"The fact is that women still earn 70 cents for every dollar that a man does and they don't teach that in high school." Quinn declared as the bell rang and we started to head to class. I wondered if I could talk to her about sex. Though, it maybe it would just be best to talk Sadie about it. We could try to work out our issues by talking about them. That was what you were supposed to do when you were in a relationship after all.
"So did anything happen between you and Sadie?" Quinn asked as we walked to class.
"You know you're probably the only one that supports the two of us together." I stated.
"You didn't answer the question." She pointed out. I blushed.
"Well we made out and I ended up getting scared. I don't really know what to do when it comes to sex and we both know that the celibacy club was just a sham." I stated. "How did you know you were ready to have sex?"
At least I could talk to her about this because she had done it of her own free will.
"Part of it was rebellion and all of the anti-sex things that people were telling me about. I was somewhere that my parents couldn't watch me and I picked someone cute because I didn't think that anything would happen. I still can't believe that I made that mistake." She answered.
"Did you at least enjoy it?" I questioned.
"Honestly, I think I've given myself better orgasms than he gave me." She stated with a blush and I blushed as well. "But you don't have to worry about getting pregnant and I've heard sex with girls is better than sex with guys."
I couldn't help but wonder who she had heard that from. It didn't help that the only person that I could talk to about my other problem wouldn't talk to me. I needed to figure out how I was going to work things out with her.
"So what's up between you and Chrissy?" She inquired.
"She's mad at me for dating Sadie." I declared.
"Is it because she likes her too?" She asked.
"I don't think so and I know she's not homophobic either." I responded. "I'm not entirely sure of the reason. How are things with Frannie?"
"She wants me to live with her, but I don't know if I want to." She admitted. That was…interesting. "I need to figure out how I can say no to her without hurting her feelings."
"Just be honest with her, she will understand." I told her. I hoped that she would.
"Well you need to talk to Chrissy then and work things out." She suggested. I had a feeling she would say that. "We can't be having problems with our sisters."
"Okay." I declared.
Later, we were in Glee club when Mr. Schue started his lecture.
"90s pop. Who are some names that you think of when you hear that term?" He asked. That was a bit of a weird question.
"Madonna." Chrissy answered. Why weren't doing a lesson on her? Granted, I wasn't a huge fan of her, but why weren't we doing a lesson on her?
"Who else?" He questioned.
I heard a few names get thrown around, there was Christina Aguilera, Boyz II Men, Celine Dion, Whitney Houston.
"This is ridiculous. We all know we the true artist of the 90s was." Rachel remarked before she went over and started to sing. She seemed to be looking at me. I was pretty sure that she was jealous about me dating Sadie.
We were as one babe for a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting that you would always be mine
Now you wanna be free so I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe our love will never die
You'll always be a part of me I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on time can't erase a feeling this strong.
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder
I know that you'll be right back baby
Oh baby believe it's only a matter of time
You'll always be a part of me I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh Darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on time can't erase a feeling this strong.
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
When I really thought of it, that song was a little bit terrifying. It sounded like she was a stalker, but the bubbly nature of the song kind of hid that. I hoped that I wouldn't face any problems with Rachel in the future. The problem was that I probably couldn't talk to her about it because I wasn't sure if she would get the right idea from it.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" James asked. "Shouldn't we be doing some more contemporary music?"
"We need to know all different kinds of music, James." Mr. Schue explained. I did feel that focusing on modern music would probably help anyone who was interested in making a career in the music business. I didn't know if anyone was actually interested in doing so, though. As far as I knew everyone wanted to go to college and some wanted to be on Broadway.
One thing that I did know was we weren't going to have to dress like we were in the 90s for this one. The 90s didn't really have an associated look with them…except for grunge and that was only for a few years and I don't even know if it was the most popular kind of music at the time.
After school, I got a text from Sadie. She was asking me to meet her on the soccer field. My school's soccer field. I knew it was kind of cold, so I would have to wear my jacket and pants. I didn't know if we would be playing at all, but I could tell that she wanted to talk to me. I was a little nervous because it could lead to some uncomfortable feelings. I also wished that she had called it the football field, but that would be a little bit confusing. The jacket and the pants were red and white just like my uniform.
I saw her standing there wearing her own athletic gear. They were black and blue like her school colors. You know I never knew the Carmel High school colors before this because I never really paid attention to them. That didn't have an American football team.
"Hi." I greeted her. She had her hands in her pockets.
"Hey." She responded. I was pretty sure that both of us wanted to speak, but neither of us knew what to say. "I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure that I overstepped my boundaries and I shouldn't have tried to touch you there if you're not comfortable with it."
"The thing is that for the first time, I didn't feel uncomfortable being touched and it scared me a little." I told her. "I guess I didn't really react to it in the right way. Sadie, I've never had sex before. I don't really know what I'm doing."
I was pretty sure that I was supposed to be a virgin because I didn't have any knowledge of the contrary. "So why did you want to meet out here? It's kind of cold?"
"I know it is, but I thought you would want to see me when I'm not all glammed up for a date. I'm just wearing the minimum amount of makeup. You know I really love being on the field. I don't know if I would choose it over the arts, but I know you love it and I thought that maybe we could have some fun and do a little one-on-one." She suggested.
"Before we do anything, you should know that I can be very competitive on the field." I told her.
"Yeah, I know. You're the MVP after all." She stated. "But you've never had to play against me before."
She started to go for the ball and I had to admit, she was probably the biggest challenge that I had ever faced. I still managed to win because apparently I was unstoppable.
The other thing was that playing with her made me feel hot, and not just in a way that involved the fact that I was a little sweaty. I never knew that playing football with someone could be such a turn on, but maybe that because I had never played with someone that I liked before.
"Wow. I guess you really are the MVP." Sadie remarked before she took a sip of her Gatorade. She then handed the bottle to me and I also took a sip of it. "So we don't haver to do anything you don't want to do."
"Do you think you want to come over to my house tomorrow night?" I requested. I didn't know if I would have sex with her, but I did want to know how it would feel to have her in my room. I hadn't invited James or Rachel over (though I had a good reason for not inviting Rachel over) so this was definitely more serious than what I had with either of them. I also needed to make sure that it was a straight invitation to have sex with me. "Maybe we could watch a movie and have some dinner."
"Sure.' She agreed. I could help but wonder what she was thinking. I hoped that she wouldn't think that I was leading her on at all.
I went back inside for Glee club rehearsal when I remembered that there was a problem. I wasn't the only one in the house and I would have to figure out a way to get Quinn and Chrissy out of the house. I couldn't exactly ask Chrissy about because we hadn't cleared the air just yet, so I would have to ask Quinn. I hoped that she would be willing to go along with it.
"So can I ask you a favor?" I questioned.
"What is it?" She replied.
"Can you get Chrissy out of the house tomorrow night?" I requested. "I invited Sadie over."
"You know you could just ask her yourself." She pointed out.
"Yeah, but I don't know if she'd agree to help me, but if you say that you need to drive her somewhere, she might help you." I reasoned.
"Okay, I'll help you but you really need to work things out with your sister." She agreed before Mr. Schue came into the room and started his lesson.
I had a feeling that it would be easier said than done. Chrissy really did not want me to be with Sadie. I knew that she was trying to protect the timeline or something, but there was no guarantee that this place even had the same timeline. According to her, I wasn't supposed to die when I did and that was a definite plus. I just wanted to live my life. I had accepted that I was a girl now and though there were parts that I didn't like about it, there was nothing that I could do to change them.
I did wonder if there was anyone that I could talk to about sex. I didn't really want to talk to my mom or Coach Tweedy because it would be too awkward. I couldn't talk to Ms. Pillsbury because one it would feel weird talking to her after having previously kissed her and I was pretty sure that she also wouldn't be much help either because she didn't have sex with Mr. Schue until after they were together for a while. I then realized that there was someone that I knew that had definitely had sex, even if I wasn't sure how recent it had been.
"It's kind of weird how you keep coming to see me even though you're not one of my cheerleaders." She commented.
"I know that there's something that I wanted to talk to you about." I explained. "It's a little hard for talk about, but I've been seeing this girl for a little while and part of me wonders…if I should have sex with her."
"I'm not sure if I'm the right person for you to talk to about this," She remarked. "This is probably something that you should talk to Ms. Pillsbury about."
"Coach Kiernan, I'm not even sure if Ms. Pillsbury has ever had sex." I told her. "I just that maybe…you know what, I'm sorry that I came here. I shouldn't have put you in this situation. I'll leave now."
"Wait." She told me once I was at the door. "I guess the only advice that I can give you is that you'll know when you're ready for sex and you may even find out that you're not in the middle of it. Don't be afraid to say no."
"Thank you." I told her. I hoped that I wouldn't tell her to stop in the middle of it. That would be pretty embarrassing.
I decided to go to the costume shop to buy something because I knew Sadie wouldn't be there. I wasn't sure if I would use it, but I wanted to have it just in case.
Thankfully, Quinn had managed to get Chrissy out of the house. I couldn't help but think that maybe I should try to talk to my sister after I was done. There had to be a way to get through to her.
Sadie came over to my house. She had dressed for the weather wearing a black sweater with a white miniskirt and tights. She looked really beautiful.
"So what movie did you want to watch?" She asked me.
"Well I have a lot of Disney movies." I stated. I kind of didn't want to sexy movie because I didn't want it to influence whether or not we did what I was thinking of. I wanted it to be organic. "Are you okay with that?"
"Well Aladdin is one of my favorite movies." She stated. That was a little bit ironic considering what I had bought earlier. "Do you think we can watch that?"
"Yeah." I told her as I put the DVD in.
We watched the movie and both of us seemed to enjoy it. I paused it about halfway through. I was pretty sure that I wanted to do it. I just had to set it up right.
"I'm gonna go to my room and get a blanket for us. If I'm not back in a few minutes, come find me." I told her.
I went to my room to get changed. I didn't know if she was expecting anything, but she might have been. A few minutes later, she walked down the hallway.
"Faith?" She asked.
"I'm in here." I told her. I felt a little weird dressed like this but I was pretty sure that she would like it. I turned on the music as she walked into the room. I was wearing a genie costume as I sang.
I feel like I've been locked up tight for a century of lonely nights
Waiting for someone to release me
You're licking' your lips and blowing kisses my way
But that don't mean I'm gonna give it away Baby, baby, baby (Baby, baby, baby)
Ooh, my body's saying' let's go
Ooh, but my heart is saying' no
If you wanna be with me baby there's a price to pay
I'm a genie in a bottle you gotta rub me the right way
If you wanna be with me I can make your wish come true
You gotta make a big impression (Oh yeah) gotta like what you do
(I'm a genie in a bottle baby gotta rub me the right way honey
I'm a genie in a bottle baby come, come, come on and let me out)
I'm a genie in a bottle baby gotta rub me the right way honey
(If you wanna be with me)
I'm a genie in a bottle baby come, come, come on and let me out
Ooh, my body's saying let's go
Ooh, but my heart is saying no
If you wanna be with me baby there's a price to pay
I'm a genie in a bottle you gotta rub me the right way
If you wanna be with me I can make your wish come true
You gotta make a big impression (Oh yeah) gotta like what you do
If you wanna be with me baby there's a price to pay
I'm a genie in a bottle you gotta rub me the right way
If you wanna be with me I can make your wish come true
You gotta make a big impression (Oh yeah) gotta like what you do
I then went over and kissed her and we started to take off each other's clothes.
A few minutes later, we were under my covers. I couldn't believe that I had done that, but damn did I love that. It felt so much better as a girl. However, I kind of felt like she shouldn't spend the night. I knew that Chrissy and Quinn would be back soon and it would be easier to talk to my sister if Sadie wasn't there.
I gave her a kiss goodbye as she left and it was a few minutes after that the two of them returned.
Chrissy was looking at me as I walked over to them.
"I'll give you two a minute." Quinn remarked as she walked away.
"You probably should have brushed your hair first." Chrissy stated. "So I guess this means that you don't care."
"Of course I care how you feel, but I feel like you're always telling me to do things a certain way. I didn't want to fall for her but I did and I can't let something like destiny tell me that I can't be with someone." I explained. "I really wish that you would just be happy for me. I would be happy for you if you started dating someone."
"It's just hard for me to deal with the prospect of losing you after actually getting to know you." She admitted.
How do I get through one night without you?
If I had to live without you, what kind of life would that be?
Oh I, I need you in my arms, need you to hold
You're my world, my heart, my soul
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything good in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you? I want to know
How do I breathe without you? If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live with you?
Please tell me now
How do I go on if you ever leave?
Baby you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby don't you know that you're everything good in my life?
And tell me now
How do I live without you? I want to know
How do I breathe without you? If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I
Oh how do I live with you?
"We can just stop worrying about it." I replied. "Maybe if we just believe that this will work out, it will." I told her.
On Monday, I found a surprise in the choir room. I didn't think that this was still going to happen. One thing that I did know was Jesse was never actually a spy. He had been there for Rachel in more ways than one and he had only gone back after she played him. However, there was one thing that I was concerned about.
"Sadie, are you sure that you want to do this? You're not going to be able to play for our team." I told her.
"Honestly, I care more about you than I do about soccer." She admitted. I had to fight the urge to correct her. "And at least I'll be able to help you out in one way. I want to do this. I want to be with my girlfriend."
She then kissed me and I kissed her back.
So I wanted this to be about one artist, but I couldn't really come up with one. It looks like Chrissy and Faith managed to patch things up. Also Faith and Sadie hooked up. The songs are "Always Be My Baby" by Mariah Carey, "Genie in a Bottle" by Christina Aguilera and "How Do I Live" by LeAnn Rimes. Please don't forget to review.