The Sound of Silence
Chapter 7
A/N: Thank you guys so much as always! You're all so wonderful! (:
Santana feels someone tap on her shoulder as she stands at her locker. Her body tenses and she glances over the shoulder cautiously, but sees nobody there. She swallows and looks in the other direction and is met with Brittany's smiling face. She lets out a sigh of relief and smiles back at the blonde.
"Hey," Brittany greats with a chuckle, sensing Santana's anxiety at her action.
Santana just grins wider as a greeting, before turning back to her locker to finish getting her books.
"So we didn't decide on a day," Brittany says, making Santana look over at her confused. "For our date." She adds grinning widely and nudging Santana's shoulder gently. "Unless you changed your mind." She adds quickly, her brows furrowing.
Santana closes her locker and shakes her head furiously, giving Brittany a reassuring smile in response. Of course she hasn't changed her mind. She's nervous as hell and terrified she is going to have a panic attack or something and Brittany will never want to speak to her again, but she still wants to go. She's wanted to go on a date with Brittany since like the first day she spoke to her in detention.
"Okay good," Brittany says relieved as they begin walking to Santana's class. "Well, I know it's kind of last minute but are you free tonight?" She asks hopefully. She'd been so overwhelmed yesterday by Santana saying yes and Santana speaking to her that she hadn't even set a time or place. But it's Friday night and that's a good date night, so she is hoping Santana is free.
And relieving Brittany, Santana nods her head to say that she is free.
Brittany beams in response and spins around to lean against the wall outside of Santana's classroom like she always does. "Good." She says happily. "I'll pick you up at 7?"
Once again, Santana nods in response, mirroring the same bright smile that Brittany is sporting.
Santana walks into her classroom and takes her usual seat at the back of the class next to Tina. Tina had once again walked to first period without her and she's sure it's because of Brittany. She still has been meaning to talk to Tina about that. Tina barely even greets her as she sits down. She just smiles at her and continues looking through her book.
Santana pulls her cell phone out of her pocket and sends Brittany a message, glancing up to make sure that her teacher isn't looking.
Sent: (8:03 am.) Where are we going tonight? (:
"What are you smiling at?" Tina asks, pulling Santana's eyes up from the phone in her lap to her best friend. She bites down on her lip nervously because she isn't really sure how Tina is going to react when she tells her that she is going on a date with Brittany. She cares what Tina thinks and her opinion of course, but she isn't going to not see Brittany unless Tina gives her a good reason.
She grabs her pen and writes a quick note for Tina on a piece of paper. And hesitantly, she slides it across the desk for Tina to read.
It only takes a few seconds before Tina's eyes are as wide as saucers and she looks up at Santana, her brows raised up to her hairline. "Brittany asked you out on a date?!" Tina exclaims, a little louder than Santana would like.
A few students turn their heads to look at them, confused, but Tina waves her hand at them, signaling for them to turn back around. Santana, however, looks down at her lap, her face turning beat red at all the attention.
"She said she wasn't gay." Tina says, still completely shocked. But her voice is lower.
Her statement makes Santana look over at her confused. When did Brittany tell her she wasn't gay? When had Tina even talked to Brittany, and more importantly, why had she talked to her.
Her phone vibrates on her lap and she debates briefly whether or not she should check the message or write another note to Tina first. She decides to just write Tina back and she can check the message while Tina reads it and responds.
When? Santana scribbles out simply and quickly, before passing it off to Tina.
She then opens the message from Brittany.
Brittany (8:05 a.m) It's a surprise (;
Santana frowns at the message and types out a reply.
Sent (8:05 a.m) I don't like surprises
It's the complete truth that she doesn't like surprises and not just in that way most people don't, where it's just annoying not knowing. She actually has even higher anxiety when she doesn't know exactly where she is or what is going on. And she is already going to have high anxiety on the date, just because, well she's on a date. And with an awesome and totally hot girl no less. She really doesn't need the added stress of not knowing where they're going.
"I talked to her yesterday," Tina finally answers her, pulling her from her thoughts. She is confused for a seconds, because she forgot what they were talking about, but then she remembers and looks at Tina even more confused. Why had she talked to her? "We were in the bathroom at the same time and, well long story short I just wanted to make sure she was being genuine with you." Tina says with a shrug.
Santana bites down on her lip and her brows furrow. Suddenly she feels more nervous. That is why Tina had been so cold to Brittany. She'd thought Brittany was playing a joke on her or something. Santana feels stupid to not have even considered that thought. What if Brittany is just playing her and she is going to totally humiliate her tonight? Maybe that is what the surprise it. Why else would someone as awesome as Brittany like someone like her?
Suddenly, Santana can't breath.
Her chest tightens painfully and she squeezes her eyes shut, trying to focus on how to breath again. But she can't seem to remember.
"Santana?" She hears Tina's frantic voice over and over but it just sounds like a low mumble in the background or like she is underwater or something.
Next thing she knows, arms are wrapped around her and she is being pulled up from her seat and dragged out of the classroom. Her feet step all over each other as she stumbles down the hallway, only half aware that she is even moving. But she knows it's Tina so it makes her feel a bit safer.
"Hey, you're okay." Tina says soothingly as they've stopped walking. The arms around her tighten and Tina's fingers run through Santana's hair as she is gently pulled down to the ground. "You're okay," Tina repeats quietly, holding Santana to her chest.
Santana's vision is still blurry, but she looks around he environment and realizes that they've moved to the bathroom. She can barely even remember walking out of the classroom and into the bathroom. She also doesn't remember if the teacher had been teaching when they abruptly left or how many people noticed.
But right now she doesn't really care. She just needs to get her breathing back to normal before she passes out or something.
She squeezes her eyes shut once again, pressing her head even closer to Tina's chest, listening for her heartbeat. It's racing a bit, but not near as fast as her own. It's calming and she tries to focus all of her thoughts on Tina's mostly normal heart beat, trying get her own to copy it.
After a couple of minutes, her breathing slows down almost back to normal and she just about collapses into Tina's arms, exhausted.
"Are you okay?" Tina whispers gently against Santana's dark hair.
Santana nods her head, but makes no other attempt to move or pull out of Tina's embrace. Her warmth is comforting and soothing.
"I'm sorry," Tina apologizes. "I didn't mean to freak you out." She admits and Santana just listens, still not attempting to move or respond to her in any way. "But I think Brittany really cares about you." She says honestly. "She seemed a bit caught off guard when I asked her if she liked you, but maybe she was just confused. Maybe she thought about it and realized that she actually does like you." Tina considers with a small shrug. "I mean you said she asked you out right?"
Santana nods against her chest, sniffling a bit.
"She told me she wasn't gay, but that doesn't mean anything. I just don't think she's ever liked a girl before." She explains, not really making Santana feel any better. "But either way, I don't doubt that she cares about you. Whatever her intentions with you are, whether they're romantic or friendship, she is genuine." Tina says truthfully.
Santana sniffles and pulls slightly away from Tina. She moves to sit up against the wall next to Tina. She lets out a heavy sigh and lets her head fall back against the wall. Panic attacks always exhaust her.
"I shouldn't have told you that she said she wasn't gay." Tina says softly. "She just blurted it out and seemed very caught off guard, but I think I just helped her realize that maybe she isn't as straight as she had thought." She further explains, hoping to ease Santana's worries. "I don't think she would have asked you out, if she doesn't like you." She says matter of fact.
Santana scoots closer to Tina and leans her head down on her best friend's shoulder. She loops her arm around the Asian girls and grips onto the same arm with her other hand. She gives Tina's arm a squeeze before letting go with one hand and pulling her cell phone out of her pocket.
Thank you
Tina looks a bit confused at first, and looks over at her best friend. "For what?" She could have sworn that Santana would be angry with her after finding out about her conversation with Brittany. But instead she is thanking her?
For looking out for me
Tina just smiles in response and leans her head down on Santana's. "You're my best friend." She says sincerely.
o0o0o
Santana and Tina had made it back to class with a few minutes left until the bell. Everyone had looked at them when they walked back in, but the teacher just continued lecturing, ignoring the two as they made their way back to their seats. All of the teachers are aware of Santana's disorders and don't ever make a big deal about them. It wasn't the first time, she'd had to leave in the middle of class because of an attack. Although it doesn't happen often, not in the past couple of years.
When the bell rings, Brittany is predictably waiting outside the door for her and Santana has never been so relieved to see her. She's still tired and just drained from her attack and all she wants to do is hug Brittany. But she doesn't, she contains herself and just opts to smile at the girl.
"Is something wrong?" Brittany asks immediately, pushing herself off the wall. She stands directly in front of Santana, her eyes searching the Latina's face.
"I'll see you guys later." Tina says, actually acknowledging the blonde this time.
Brittany looks at her as she walks away, a bit caught off guard. However, it only lasts a couple of seconds before her eyes are on Santana again. "Are you okay?" She asks concerned, her hands grasping gently at Santana's shoulders.
Santana gives he a small smile and nods her head. Then, not being able to resist anymore she pulls Brittany into a hug. She lets out a sigh of relief and just about melts in Brittany's arms, closing her eyes to savor the feeling.
"What's the matter?" Brittany asks gently, one of her hands, caressing the back of Santana's neck softly.
Hesitantly, Santana pulls away, knowing that she needs to get to class. She gives Brittany another smile, reassuring her that she is fine and tugs on the blonde's hand to pull her towards her next class.
o0o0o
When Santana gets into her class, she checks her phone, remembering that she'd never text Brittany back nor even checked the message she'd received before her panic attack. Brittany hadn't said anything to her about it, but she probably just assumed Santana didn't text her because class had started and also Brittany had been concerned something was wrong with her so she probably wasn't even thinking about the text.
Brittany (8:07 a.m) You don't like surprises as in you just don't like them? Or is it because of your anxiety? I don't want to make it worse
Santana sighs and types her response.
Sent (9:03 a.m) They makes me more anxious…
She almost groans after she hits send. It's embarrassing to her and she doesn't want to ruin Brittany's surprise but she also doesn't want to have a panic attack and ruin the date. She just hopes that it doesn't make Brittany angry or disappointed.
Brittany (9:04 a.m) Okay well to be honest, I'm not sure yet… Any recommendations?
Santana grins and shakes her head a bit. Brittany hadn't even had a surprise, she just didn't have a plan so she'd said it was a surprise.
Sent (9:04 a.m) I like Breadstix (:
o0o0o
Santana walks into her house after school and seeks her mother out. She'd seen her car in the driveway which meant she was already home for work, much to Santana's relief. She spots the woman in the laundry room, putting a load of clothes in the washer.
Santana just sits down at the kitchen island and waits patiently for her mother to finish and come out of the small room.
When she does, she smiles fondly at her daughter, "Hi Mija," She greets lovingly, placing a kiss on the top of Santana's head as she walks behind her. She then makes her way over to the dishwasher and opens it up. "Have you done your speech exercises today?" She asks as she unloads the dishes.
Santana frowns and shakes her head. "I'll d-do them later." She responds with a shrug. Maribel gives her a look, but doesn't protest. Normally Santana is pretty good about doing them, even if she does procrastinate them. She's always hated doing her speech exercises. "T-Tina is going t-to come over for a little." She tells her mother.
"Okay what are you guys going to do?" Maribel asks, still distracted by her chores.
Santana wrings her hands nervously on top of the counter and chews on her top lip. She is going to have to tell her mom about going out with Brittany at some point, she just really doesn't want to. It's not that her mom will care, she knows that Santana likes girls, but she is going to make a big deal out of it.
She hasn't even been dating Brittany the past couple of weeks and her and Manny already make everything involving the blonde into a big deal.
"We're just g-going to hang out for a couple of hours." She says with a shrug, neglecting to mention that she'd asked Tina to help her get ready for her date.
Maribel finishes up the dishes and closes the dish washer, before turning to her daughter, leaning up against the counter. "Okay well do you want me to order some pizza or anything?"
Santana bites down on her lip again and shakes her head, "She won't be here for dinner." She says simply. She then inhales a quiet breath and adds, "Neither will I."
"And where are you going?" Maribel asks curiously. "Are you and Tina going out to dinner?"
Shaking her head again, Santana glances up at her mother before her eyes fall back down onto the counter. "I'm going to dinner with Brittany." She says quietly.
Maribel bites back a grin and nods her head, pushing herself up off the counter. "Like on a date?" She asks, trying to contain her excitement for her daughter. She walks over to Santana and stands on the other side of the island of her.
Santana rolls her eyes and lets out a small groan before reluctantly nodding her head.
Maribel's grin widens, but she manages to keep herself under wraps. "Okay," She says simply, but Santana can tell she is fighting everything inside of herself to keep from busting at the seems with happiness.
Santana clears her throat and tries to ignore the giddy look her mother is giving her. "C-could you take me to the st-store?" Santana asks hopefully.
"You want to buy a new outfit?" Maribel asks excitedly. She always tries to go shopping with Santana, but the brunette absolutely hates to do so. "Of course we can go!" She answers, before Santana even answers her first question. "I'll go put some shoes on and get my purse!" She says as she just about skips out of the kitchen.
o0o0o0o
Quinn walks into Brittany's room and is completely caught off guard when she sees the mess of the girls room. Brittany isn't the neatest person ever, but she isn't really messy either. But right now, Quinn can barely see the floor underneath all of the clothes and shoes scattered around.
"What the hell are you doing?" Quinn asks confused, eyeing the blonde's back from where she stands in her closet.
Without turning around, Brittany answers, "I have a date." distractedly as she flicks through the few clothes still actually hanging in her closet.
Quinn's brows shoot up and she plops down on the blonde's bed, finding a small spot that doesn't have clothes or shoes covering it. "With who?" She asks confused. "I just talked to Puck and Sam and they want to all hang out tonight." She explains, confused to know who she is going out with if it's obviously not Puck.
"Santana." Brittany answers simply as she pulls a shirt down off it's hanger. She lifts the shirt she has on over her head and tosses it onto the floor, putting the new one on.
Quinn just laughs in response, but when Brittany doesn't pay her any mind, she realizes that Brittany had actually been telling the truth. She stops laughing immediately. "Wait what?" She asks, her amusement turning into confusion. "Brittany, you're joking right?"
Brittany glances over at Quinn and just rolls her eyes, turning back around. She continues rifling through her closet, not satisfied with the latest shirt that she'd put on. "I'm not joking Quinn." She says annoyed.
"Brittany you aren't gay and even if you were, you could do so much better than that loser." Quinn says with a scoff.
This causes Brittany to spin around quickly and before Quinn knows what is happening, she is ripped off the bed and shoved violently up against the wall. She winces in pain and looks fearfully at Brittany who's face is only a couple of inches away from her own face.
"Stop calling Santana names!" Brittany says angrily, pushing Quinn even harder against the wall. "I'm so tired of your shit!" She seethes, her tight grip on Quinn's arms slowly starting to form bruises.
Quinn has never seen Brittany as angry as she looks right now and to be honest, Quinn is terrified. She challenges Brittany all of the time, but Brittany never does anything but argue with her or threaten her. They've only been in a couple of physical fights before and it was nothing like this.
"Brittany," Quinn breaths out fearfully. "Britt, I'm sorry,"
Brittany's eyes dart rapidly between Quinn's and her jaw clenches and unclenches. After a few seconds she shoves Quinn even harder against the wall before letting her go completely and stalking over to her closet to continue getting ready. She doesn't want to be late because she's kicking Quinn's ass.
Quinn stays pressed up against the wall, her eyes locked on the blonde as she watches her sift through her clothes as if nothing had happened. She's just thankful that Brittany hadn't hurt her, although she knows that she is still in dangerous territory and Brittany could snap at any minute.
The room is eerily silent for the next few minutes, neither girl speaking. Quinn is too afraid to speak or even move for that matter and Brittany is trying to calm herself before she speaks again.
"I really like her Quinn." Brittany finally says, breaking the silence.
Her voice is barely above a whisper but it still startles Quinn.
"I don't know if I'm gay or Bisexual or what, but I do know that I like Santana. A lot." Brittany says. "I know it's kind of sudden, but I don't know, I realized I liked her and so I did something about it." She continues with a shrug. "I wasn't going to just sit around and do nothing, once I realized that I want to be with her. That's not the kind of person I am." She says as she pulls another shirt on and changes her jeans before making her way in front of her full length mirror to appraise the newest option.
She eyes Quinn from the mirror and sees the blonde still pressed up against the wall, shaking slightly. "I like her more than I have ever liked anyone." She adds, making Quinn look up and their eyes meet.
Quinn hesitates briefly, but then finds her voice. "I don't really know what to say." She says quietly, her voice a bit shaky as her hand rubs over the red marks on her arms.
Brittany spins around to face her and it once again startles Quinn. "You could say that you are happy for me." Brittany says a bit bitterly. "You could say that you support me and you could stop being such a bitch to Santana." She suggests, her voice still angry.
Quinn just looks down at the ground, folding her arms over her chest and holding her hands over Brittany's finger marks on her arm.
"We're supposed to be friends Quinn." Brittany says, her voice sounding a bit more defeated rather than angry. "I mean I put up with your stupid crush on that adult baby." She adds rolling her eyes.
Quinn's head snaps up at that. "I don't like Finn," She says shaking her head.
"Whatever," Brittany breaths out, not even caring. She just turns back to her closet and starts looking for some shoes, satisfied with her outfit. Or as satisfied as she is going to be. She just settled on a black pair of skinny jeans with a blue, black and white button up. She doesn't really have any dressy clothes, except the few overly fancy dresses her mom had bought her for special occasions. And she decides she shouldn't wear something that isn't really her anyway.
"Do Puck or Sam know about this?" Quinn asks, her voice sounding a bit more steady now.
Brittany just shrugs as she grabs her blue vans. "I don't think so, I haven't really talked to them today." She explains distracted as she puts her shoes on.
"Puck is going to be pissed." Quinn says, still keeping her distance from Brittany who is sitting on her bed, tying her shoes.
Brittany finishes her shoes and walks back over to her closet, grabbing her leather jacket. She slips it on and checks herself out in her mirror. "Puck won't care, we aren't dating." She says as her fingers comb through her straightened blonde hair.
She spins around and grabs her keys off of her nightstand, opting to take her car for the date.
"I have to go." She says, breezing past her 'best friend' and out the door.
o0o0o0o
"Santana do you really think this is a good idea?" Tina asks from her spot on Santana's bed. Said girl is in her bathroom, changing her clothes for Tina to judge and tell her what she thinks. She's a bit nervous because it's not what she would normally wear. Her mom had helped her pick it out, which makes her even more nervous.
Santana peaks her head out the door and gives Tina a frown. "What?" She asks confused.
Tina sighs, "Going out with Brittany." She says with a small shrug.
Santana's frowns deepens and her brows furrow. "I thought that you said you t-think B-Brittany really cares about me and likes m-me." She says, confused. She'd thought that their talk in the bathroom had been Tina's way of giving her approval. She had said after all that she really thinks Brittany is genuine and likes her.
"I do think she cares about you, but that doesn't change who she is. I just don't think she is a good influence on you or someone you should be hanging out with." She says honestly. She lets out a sigh and walks over to Santana, even though it's just her head showing. "I want you to be happy and I know you really like her." She says gently. "I'm just worried about you. I don't want you getting into trouble or anything." She says sincerely.
Santana smiles softly at her and slides an arm through the door to grab Tina's hand. "Thank you, b-but she won't hurt me or do anything to g-get me into trouble. She isn't as b-bad as you'd think." She says honestly. "Now g-g-go back over there so I can finish." She says, waving her hand, shooing Tina away.
"Fine, but Santana, it may take me awhile to trust her." Tina says truthfully. "I want to like her, and I'll try, but no promises right away."
Santana just nods her head in understanding before disappearing back into the bathroom.
She comes out a couple of minutes later and clears her throat, getting Tina's attention. The Asian had laid back on the bed while waiting, but she sits up as soon as she hears Santana.
Her eyes just about bug out of her head when her eyes land on her. "Whoa," She says unblinking as her eyes scan Santana up and down and up and down. "I…" She says, only pausing, not really knowing what she wanted to say.
Santana's face turns beat red and she folds her arms over her chest, self consciously, shrinking into herself. "Do I look that bad?" She asks, biting down on her lip.
Tina shakes her head immediately. "No," she assures her best friend. "Just…different." She says, not really knowing how else to explain it. "I mean, you look amazing, seriously." She says with a smile, her eyes finding Santana's. "I didn't even know you owned anything like this." She says with a smirk.
Santana scuffs her toe against the floor, nervously. "I went shopping with my mom today." She admits timidly.
"Who knew you were such a little hottie?" Tina teases, standing up from the bed. It just makes Santana blush even harder. "Seriously, you're body is amazing." Santana says, walking around the girl to admire her outfit. "You know, if things don't work out with Brittany…" She trails off, giving Santana a playful look.
Santana's eyes widen and she lets out a gasp. Her blush is so deep and there is so much blood in her face that she feels like she is going to pass out. This is why she doesn't ever wear things like this. She doesn't like all the attention, well really she just isn't used to it. She wouldn't say that she doesn't necessarily like it. But it's different coming from her best friend than random people at school that she doesn't know. She doesn't want people she doesn't know, looking at her like this. She definitely wouldn't like that.
"Do you think B-Brittany will l-l-like it?" She asks nervously.
Tina lets out a small scoff, "If she doesn't, she's definitely not gay." She says, earning a small glare from Santana. "Sorry," She apologizes with a smile. "She'll love it, you look amazing." Tina tells her sincerely. "But honestly, I think she'll still like you just as much in your sweater vests, I mean she asked you out and that is all she has ever seen you in. Obviously she likes them." Tina says with a shrug, sitting back down on Santana's bed.
Santana shrugs and looks down bashfully, "I j-just wanted to l-l-look…" She says, but pauses, her face heating up again. "I want her to find m-me…sexy." She says shyly, her voice barely above a whisper.
Tina smiles gently at her and reaches out for Santana's hands, tugging her over to her until she is standing directly in front of her. "You are sexy Santana Lopez." Tina tells her with a smirk. "Seriously. Have you seen your ass?" She adds, and Santana rolls her eyes, and smiles timidly.
o0o0o0o
Again, Brittany stands at Santana's front door for a few minutes, just staring at the wood and cursing under her breath at herself.
Just knock
Just lift your hand up and knock
You're a badass damn it.
She lets out a groan and without thinking, quickly brings her hand up and knocks on the door a few times. She then shoves her hands into her jacket pockets and rocks back and forth on her feet as she waits for the door to be opened.
It only takes a few seconds before the door opens, revealing a nervous looking Santana, wearing a short, tight, purple and blue, long sleeve knitted dress. Did she mention it was short and tight?
She has the same reaction as Tina, wide eyes and a dropped jaw. "Wow," She breaths out. "Santana…" She whispers, but isn't able to actually form a legitimate sentence. She just keeps opening and closing her mouth with a wide grin.
Santana blushes and subconsciously folds her arms over her chest. She admires the blonde's outfit, not being able to look Brittany in the eyes. She's wearing what she normally wears to school, but she still looks great. She has a little more makeup on than normal and her hair is down and straightened perfectly, which she hardly ever does.
Santana suddenly feels a bit overdressed though.
"You look so beautiful." Brittany finally says, her eyes still unblinkingly looking Santana up and down. She reaches out and caresses one of Santana's loosely curled strands of hair, wrapping it around her finger, before letting it go, admiring her beautiful locks out of the tight bun, it's normally in.
Santana smiles timidly at Brittany and bites down on her lip. "A-are you s-sure?" She asks quietly and a bit unsure.
Brittany grins and nods her head, bringing her hand up to cup Santana's cheek. "So beautiful," She assures her breathlessly.
o0o0o0o
After a small interrogation from Manny, the girls had finally arrived at Breadstix. Santana, being in a public place and on a date with Brittany has been too nervous to speak. Normally you'd think it would make a date awkward or boring, but they're both having the best time. Brittany had brought a spiral and some colored pens, expecting this, so they've been writing each other notes.
It kinda made Santana swoon a bit that Brittany had thought to bring a spiral and pens.
The only problem is that Santana looks really uncomfortable, although she keeps insetting that she is fine. Brittany watches as she tugs at the bottom of her dress, trying to make it go down further and she keeps folding her arms over her chest. Her eyes also dart around the restaurant, her head kept down.
Brittany can tell she isn't in fact okay.
"What's wrong?" Brittany asks as Santana was in the middle of writing something down on the spiral. They'd been talking about Brittany's cat Lord Tubbington and how she is pretty sure he shoplifts cat treats from the target down the street from her house because she'd put him on a diet.
Santana frowns and shakes her head, going back to finishing her same note about Lord Tubbington.
Brittany continues watching the girl and she realizes that Santana is uncomfortable because of her dress. Or that is how it seems. "Is it the dress? Is it uncomfortable?" Brittany asks, not letting the subject go.
Santana sighs and nods her head slightly, not looking up at Brittany.
"Why did you wear it?" The blonde asks confused.
Santana hesitates, but then skips down a line and writes another note, then passes it across the table.
I wanted you to think I looked pretty and sexy
Brittany looks up from the paper and her eyes land on Santana who is chewing on her lip nervously. "Santana," She says softly, reaching across the table to grab Santana's hand. "You are pretty, and so so sexy." She assures her with a gentle smile.
Santana just grabs the spiral with her free hand and, luckily it's her left hand so she manages to write the note without letting go of Brittany's hand.
Sweater vests aren't sexy
"I like your sweater vests." Brittany says honestly, her brows furrowing, but Santana doesn't seem like she believes her. "Hey," She says, giving Santana's hand a gentle squeeze, trying to coax her to look at her. When she finally does, Brittany continues, "I've always thought you were beautiful Santana, even in your sweater vests. I mean, do you really think I would have asked you out if I didn't? Obviously I like you and your sweater vests," she says sincerely with a smile.
Santana just shrugs her shoulders, her eyes finding the table once again. And before Brittany can respond, the waitress approaches, placing their food down in front of them.
She starts to walk away but Brittany stops her. "Could we possibly get the check and some to go boxes?" She asks confusing both the waitress and Santana. The waitress gives he a slightly annoyed look, but nods her head and walks away.
Brittany then turns her attention back to Santana who is scribbling in the spiral again so she waits patiently for her to finish and hand it back to her.
I'm sorry for ruining the date
Brittany's eyes snap up to Santana and she shakes her head. "You didn't." She assures her. She stands up from the table and quickly climbs into Santana's side, placing her arm around the brunette. "We're just taking the food to go and we're going to stop at your house and let you change." She says, smiling brightly at the girl. "Okay?" She asks, making sure it's okay with Santana.
Santana smiles gratefully and nods her head in response. She then writes another note for Brittany.
Can we take extra breadsticks?
o0o0o0o
Brittany opens up all the to go boxes and places them on the plates Santana's mother had given her. She then carries the two plates into the living room and places them down on the coffee table, also getting permission from Maribel to eat in the living room.
Once she has everything set up, she sits down on the couch, waiting patiently for Santana to change and come back down.
It only takes a few more minutes until Santana walks back down. She's dressed in skinny blue jeans, but like always they're just a couple of sizes too big. They're not super baggy or unflattering at all, just not so skin tight like another layer of skin. She then has a white button up shirt, buttoned up all the way and a red red sweater with a cat on it.
"Still as sexy as ever." Brittany says smiling widely at the brunette, making Santana blush. "Do you feel better?" She asks softly as Santana makes her way around the couch.
Santana nods her head in response and looks down at the coffee table where their food is all set up, including silverware, two glasses of water and of course the extra plate filled with breadsticks.
"I warmed it up a bit too." Brittany says as she slides down onto the floor, sitting in front of her plate as Santana mirrors her position across from her. "Not that it was that cold." She adds with a shrug.
"T-thank you," Santana says, in her low raspy voice.
It makes Brittany's face light up and she can't stop grinning at the girl in front of her. She finds that she also can't stop staring at the girl in front of her. Santana had started eating probably about 5 minutes ago and Brittany hasn't even attempted to take a bite. She knows that Santana is aware too because she keeps glancing up at her and blushing.
"What?" Santana finally asks, feeling self conscious under Brittany's intense gaze.
Brittany smiles and shakes her head, deciding to finally pick her fork up. "I just really love your voice." She says before stabbing a few noodles with her fork and eating them.
Santana rolls her eyes a bit and looks down at her plate, twirling some noodles around her fork. "I-I sound s-st-stupid." She says, quietly.
Brittany's brows furrow and she shakes her head, confused. "What do you mean?" She asks, not understanding at all how Santana thinks she sounds stupid. "You're voice is so pretty and sexy." She says with a smirk.
"I s-stutter." She says as she squeezes her eyes closed tight, mentally slapping herself for sounding like such an idiot. Of course her stutter is going to be even worse in Brittany's presence. Maybe she should just go back to not talking at all.
Reaching across the coffee table, Brittany repeats her earlier actions and grabs Santana's hand again. "I think it's cute." She says honestly. "You don't sound stupid at all." She tells her, "You've been talking down on yourself all night. I don't ever want to hear you talk about yourself like that alright?" She says sincerely. "You're amazing Santana."
Santana smiles bashfully at Brittany and averts her attention back down to her pasta.
"So are these breadsticks actually good?" Brittany asks, picking one up and looking at it skeptically.
Santana's eyes widen and she drops the fork in her hand. "Y-you have never h-h-h…" She says, but stops speaking as her stutter gets the best of her and she can't form the words she wants to say. Her face turns red and she winces at herself.
But Brittany seems to know what she wanted to say and she gives Santana's hand another squeeze, still holding onto it. "I've only been to Breadstix a few times with my parents when I was younger, but my mom would never let me eat them because they had too many carbs." She says with a shrug.
Santana pouts sympathetically at the girl in front of her and takes the breadstick from her hand. She tears off a small piece and holds it up a few inches away from Brittany's lips with a smile.
Brittany grins back and leans in taking the piece of bread from Santana's fingers. She chews it for a few seconds as Santana watches her and she just acts like she's pondering if she likes it or not.
"It was alright," She says with a shrug, before stabbing a few noodles with her fork again. She looks up a few seconds later to see Santana staring at her, looking shocked and a bit hurt. It makes her laugh loudly. "I'm kidding, they're awesome." She says making Santana glare at her playfully and throw a small piece of a breadstick at her, hitting her square on the forehead.
o0o0o0o
After helping Santana clean everything up, the two girls make their way outside to Brittany's car. They stand in front of each other a bit awkwardly, just smiling at one another, neither really knowing what to do next.
Brittany wants to kiss Santana, she's wanted to kiss her all night, but she doesn't want to freak Santana out. She knows she has an anxiety disorder and she doesn't want to send her into a panic attack or anything. How does she know if Santana wants her to kiss her?
"I had a really good time." Brittany finally says, breaking the silence.
Santana nods in response and smiles. "Me t-too."
"I'm actually kind of glad we hung out here instead or Breadstix." She admits with a smile and Santana nods in agreement.
They stand there in another slightly awkward silence for a couple of minutes, shyly glancing at one another and giggling awkwardly, Brittany trying to decide if she should kiss Santana or not. Maybe the first date is too soon? She's never really done this whole dating thing.
She reaches for Santana's hand and pulls her into a hug, holding the brunette around her waist tightly. She can feel Santana's breath on her neck as the Latina's arms wrap tightly around her as well. It drives her crazy and the need to kiss Santana grows more intensely. She can't help but wonder how she'd ignored the feeling for so long. She can't understand now, how she never realized she had feelings for Santana. It's so blindingly obvious to her now.
After a minute they pull apart and Brittany's eyes move down to Santana's lips. She stares at those plump pink lips, and subconsciously licks her own lips.
She has to pull back completely to gain any kind of brain function or rational thoughts. She kind of wishes that she hadn't because now that she is thinking rationally, she feels like she shouldn't kiss Santana yet.
It's too soon.
"I'll text you tomorrow." Brittany says, shaking herself from her thoughts.
Santana just smiles and nods her head in response, but she looks a bit disappointed? Is that disappointment on her face?
Brittany shakes her head, figuring it's just her mind playing tricks on her, trying to talk her into just kissing Santana already. "Bye Santana." She says, giving the brunette's hand a gentle squeeze. She then turns to her car and opens the door, climbing into the drivers seat.
But as soon as she starts her car, she's opening her door and jumping out again, "Santana!" She calls to the girl who is walking up the porch steps now.
Santana spins around and looks at Brittany curiously. She notices the blonde start walking towards her so Santana walks back down the sidewalk, meeting her halfway.
"I want to kiss you." Brittany blurts out, "Can I kiss you?"
Santana's eyes widen a bit and she looks nervous as hell. It kind of makes Brittany regret her decision. So like always, she back peddles and tries to take it back.
"I'm sorry, it's too soon." She says, smiling through her embarrassment. "Just ignore that and yeah, act like the last 15 seconds haven't happened." She says, spinning around and heading back to her car.
Santana bites down on her lip so hard that she almost causes it to bleed. She wants to yell at Brittany and tell her to come back, to kiss her, but she doesn't. She just stands there in the middle of the driveway watching as Brittany drives away.
Once Brittany's car is out of sight, Santana starts throwing a fit right there in her driveway. She stomps her feet on the ground hard and groans loudly, waving her arms around like a two year old throwing a tantrum because they didn't get their way.
Brittany mentally curses at herself and hits the steering wheel with her fists the whole way back to her house. "So stupid," she mumbles over and over, plus some other not so nice things about herself.
Why had she done that? Obviously Santana wouldn't be ready to kiss her after just one date. She should have known that. Now Santana probably wants nothing to do with her.
"Ugh!" Both girls groan loudly as they walk into their respected houses, slamming the door shut behind them.
A/N: Awww no kiss! Sorry guys! (: But let me know what you thought please! Any suggestions on how the first kiss should go?
Who else is super stoked for Glee this week? I feel like it's the first time in so long!
Tumblr: o0H3ATH3RMICH3LL30o . tumblr. com