A/N: After a decent wait, here's another LONG update! Just in time for the Easter holiday. Plenty of happenings in this chapter, and since I had a request for more of Hermione's thoughts, I've tried to mingle those in with the plot.
Lovely reviews from livebyinsanity, vampirela69, woodshark, joanna-archer, DedicatedReader, memorieslost05, Lucente, Startled Boris, tennis14321432, Lover of Fantasy, melonka, hnwhitlock2000, severus49, cypris88, Marble Meadow, silverose29, early1991, MadamigellaSnape, BlooDsucKkerR69, hey, Sev01, ineverdothis, LK-HoGwArTs-hEaDgIrL, Mel, Hazel08, KittyPimms, Li-Li-ThePinkbookgirl, callalily32, Angelwells, Phoenixica24, Jinx452, Stacy Vorosco, xSiriusxstalkerx, and Sezao1! Thank you!
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Bound to Him
Chapter 27
Hermione pinched her lips together and threw up her mental shields as she stalked past the Potions Master. By the time she had reached her seat, the tugging feeling had diminished, though she thought it best to not yet stop her occluding. The pulling sensation returned a few seconds later, and she glanced challengingly up at the professor. When his lips curled slightly, she knew she had made the right decision. He gave a dip of his head, indicating he was dropping his attempted assault.
As she pulled out her textbook, she allowed her shields to slowly descend. After she had nearly failed to block his entrance that night in his office, Snape had insisted that she needed more practice. In the several days since, he had taken to testing her ability, completely unannounced and at random times and locations – whilst passing in the halls, during meals in the Great Hall, and now even during class.
An angry huff beside her caught her attention, and she peeked out of the corner of her eye at Harry. He was wearing a deep scowl as he flipped through the book to the instructed page. She knew he was still bitter over having to stand before the class yesterday morning and demonstrate that he did, in fact, possess the intelligence needed to perform a proper charm. It was as embarrassing as anyone could have predicted, and the Slytherins had not passed up the chance to torment him further.
It was bad enough to make Hermione wholeheartedly regret her actions. Harry had been in a horrible mood all weekend, and had spent most of it on his broom. Ron had been brave enough to accompany him the first night, in the hopes of getting in some extra practice, but had returned soon after in a gloomy state of his own. In addition to snapping at his best friend, Harry had been incredibly short with a number of Gryffindors who had been excited about the upcoming Quidditch tryouts. The only positive that had come out of the situation was that Ron and Ginny were speaking to each other again, commiserating with each other over the tension with Harry.
And it's entirely my fault, she grimaced, looking down at her book and memorizing the list of ingredients. She took a deep breath and faced the boy. "I can grab your ingredients, if you want."
Harry looked at her in surprise, but then shook his head miserably. "And let Snape think I'm too incompetent to get them myself? No thanks."
"Sorry," she whispered, shrugging her shoulders in frustration as she headed to the storeroom for her own necessities.
Silence was all that passed between them for nearly an hour. She would look up every now and then to watch Snape as he snidely corrected someone's technique. He seemed better today than he did a week prior – much more his usual caustic self.
Who would have thought that would ever be a relief? Hermione gave a small smirk as she reached for the jar of dried fluxweed. She weighed out the appropriate amount and sprinkled it evenly over the brew as she stirred the mixture in a star-shaped pattern. With a strange amusement, she listened to the professor berating Terry Boot for failing to note the change in stirring directions.
She could feel Harry stiffen beside her as Snape moved towards them.
"Tut, tut, Potter," he cooed menacingly. "Have you recently become color-blind?"
"No," the boy spat back.
"Do tell what color the sleeping potion is supposed to be at this stage."
Harry ground his teeth and flicked his eyes to the text, but said nothing.
Hermione hesitantly looked over the rim of his cauldron and frowned. It certainly was not the described pale fuschia as hers was. Instead, it seemed to be the same shade as the 'burnt sienna' crayon she used to use to draw her hair as a small child.
"Don't tell me you've forgotten how to read, Potter," Snape hissed, drawing the attention of the entire classroom towards them.
It seemed Harry could no longer hold his tongue, but Hermione had tuned out his response as she began pondering why his potion was a different color. She had been checking periodically to ensure he was using the correct technique, so unless he had accidentally substituted one of the ingredients, the color should have been the same as her brew. Glancing between their respective collections of materials, she eventually noticed that his jar of fluxweed had a different style of lid.
Slipping the stirring rod out of her potion and setting it carefully on table, she reached for his jar. She gasped as she read the label. Clearly written in Snape's neat writing were the words 'flax seed.' Harry had mistakenly grabbed flax seed instead of fluxweed.
Her eyes widened in horror as she remembered that the sopohorous bean could only be mixed with a select number of ingredients or else it could become volatile and produce a dangerous gas upon heating. Snape had spent a great deal of yesterday's lecture beating into their heads which few substances could be used in a sleeping potion with sopohorous beans. Fluxweed was one of the safe ingredients; flax seed was not.
"Professor!" she shouted in concern.
"Silence!" he bellowed, immediately turning back to Harry. "Ten points for your impudence, boy!"
"But-" her voice cut off as an intense pain exploded across her spine. She opened her mouth again, only to have the pain intensify.
'Damn it! Listen to me!' Still holding the jar, she began waving her arms frantically as Harry shouted.
"So my potion's the wrong color – why don't you just fail me, sir! Better yet – fail me for tomorrow's potion, too! I know that's what you intend to do anyway so -"
"Do not raise your voice to me, you little brat!" Snape snarled. "Miss Granger, be still! And how dare you presume to know anything about my intentions!"
The shouting between the pair of them continued, but Hermione heard none of it. Fire raged through her nervous system as she dropped her arms to her side. Tears were blinding her vision, but she could not move to wipe them away for fear of making it worse.
'Professor!' she mentally shouted. 'Please listen to me! Any minute the potion could explode! Professor, please!'
She inhaled deeply in an attempt to push through the rising pain, but quickly found the movement of her chest was enough to defy his command. With every breath, her discomfort grew until she did not dare draw in any more air.
'Oh God! I can't breathe! Look at me! Look at me, you stupid son-of-a-bitch!' She continued pleading with him for what seemed like ages, but he did not once stop in his tirade to even glance at her. 'Listen to me! Please! I can't breathe! I can't….'
Black dots were beginning to dance around the edges of her vision, and she could feel her knees beginning to buckle.
Oh my God, I'm going to die. Her lip trembled painfully as she tried to will herself to remain upright. She had to get him to hear her. If that potion blew, she was not the only one who was going to be seriously injured. Snape needed to stabilize it – he was probably the only one who knew how.
'Professor….please….I can't breathe…'
"Hermione! Are you okay?" Ernie MacMillan shouted suddenly.
Severus's rant died off mid-sentence as he snapped his attention towards the Hufflepuff boy, and then at the girl. She was unsteadily swaying on her feet, looking nearly ready to pass out. Tears were streaming down her face, which was currently twisted in agony.
"Granger!" he shouted, moving to push past Potter. A loud bubbling noise drew his immediate attention back towards the boy's cauldron, and his eyes widened as he realized it was rocking dangerously. It was too late to stabilize it now – there were only seconds left before it blew.
"Potter, run!" he ordered.
"What?" Harry asked in disbelief.
"Get out! Don't argue with me!" Snape furthered. "Everyone leave the classroom… NOW!"
Thirteen students immediately startled to their feet and quickly fled towards the door. Hermione, however, began dropping to the floor as her eyes rolled back in their sockets. Severus blanched as he darted at the girl, catching hold of her just before her head hit the ground.
"Breathe, Granger!" he hissed in her ear, hauling her into his arms. He heard her sharp intake of air as he hurried across the classroom, slamming the door shut half a second after a large blast sent pieces of Potter's cauldron in every direction. Gasps erupted behind him as he made sure the door was completely sealed.
"There will be no class tomorrow morning," he stated quietly, trying to still the racing beat of his heart. "Return to your dormitories."
As the wide-eyed students began to disperse, Snape quickly made his way towards his office with the semi-conscious girl.
"Sir!" Harry called out, practically running to keep up with the man's long stride. "Is she alright? What happened?"
With a snarl, Severus tore the jar of flax seed from Hermione's hand and thrust it against the boy's chest. "There are consequences to not paying attention."
Potter glanced down at the container and paled when he read the label. "Oh my God – I didn't -"
The man did not hear anything more as he had already kicked his office door shut. His attention was solely focused on the girl who was quivering against his chest, fighting for air. He could feel the heat radiating off her back even through her school robes.
"Can you stand?" he asked.
Her eyes stared at him angrily, and he noticed that she was doing her best to remain perfectly still. Grimacing, he remembered what he had shouted at her in class. "Miss Granger, move if you are physically able."
A second later, she forcibly pushed against him, tumbling out of his grasp and onto the floor. Hermione then curled into a ball and silently shook with pain.
Severus cursed beneath his breath as he scrambled behind his desk and pulled out the top drawer. He quickly retrieved a jar of salve and returned to her side. Dropping to his knees, he slid her robes past her waist and pushed up the edge of her blouse. Her body jerked as he began to spread the cool, orange ointment across the wound.
"I cannot even begin to express my apologies," he said softly, watching the redness of her skin slowly vanish back to her normal skin tone. "Does it still hurt?"
Hermione spun onto her bottom, facing him with a piercing glare. Her chest heaving, she slowly shook her head without even blinking.
"You may speak, Miss Granger," he stated as soon as he realized she was still following his earlier command of silence.
The sound of a slap reverberated around the room as her hand struck across his face with enough force to knock his head to the side.
Her hand stinging slightly, Hermione hauled herself to her feet. "You bastard! I couldn't fucking breathe!"
Snape closed his eyes and despondently ducked his head.
"Because you couldn't bloody be bothered to stop shouting at Harry!" she added, pacing in front of his kneeling form. She clenched and unclenched her fists and held them rigidly at her sides. It was all she could do to keep from hitting him again. In her head, she could see herself beating the man into a bloody pulp. "I was trying to tell you his potion wasn't stable, but you wouldn't fucking listen to me!"
"I know," he whispered. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry? You're sorry?" she hissed. "Well bully for you, Professor."
Hermione watched the man wince, and then gave an angry screech as she turned towards the door. As the rage rushing through her system began to quiet, she sank into a fit of silent sobs against the door. She could not understand why he would ignore her pleas as he had. How could his hatred for Harry run so deep that he could condemn her to suffer? Would he even have noticed her distress if Ernie had not called attention to it? Would he have let her die in the middle of his classroom?
Wiping away her tears with the sleeve of her robe, she peered back at the man on the floor. He was kneeling, as perfectly still and silent as a statue. A pained expression was on his face, and a nasty red mark was beginning to form across the side of his jaw. He had not yelled at her yet for striking him, nor had he even glanced in her direction since she had. He had been as close to death as she had been – from the way he looked now, it was likely that he had just come to that realization.
Good, she thought spitefully. She wanted him to suffer as she was. Perhaps now he would hold her life as dear to him as he held his own. She was not the only one responsible for keeping their bond a secret; she was not the only one who could end both of their existences with one mistake.
Hermione raised her hand to grab hold of the door handle. She wanted nothing more than to leave this room – to leave him there, wallowing in his own misery. Her hand soon dropped back into her lap, though, as she realized something held her rooted there in his presence. She wanted to know why.
"Why didn't you listen?" she whispered, breaking the horrible silence.
Severus flicked his eyes towards her. Almost an entire minute passed before he shook his head. "I could not hear you."
"Couldn't hear me?" Her face wrinkled in disbelief. "I was screaming at you in my head! You hear every goddamn thing I think, and you expect me to believe you couldn't hear me screaming?"
He sighed softly and dropped his eyes back to the ground. "I – I found a way…to block it."
"What are you talking about?" Her eyes narrowed considerably as she spent several seconds contemplating his last answer. Her mouth opened slightly in surprise. "You mean you've found a way to sever the connection?"
"No. Just to silence it."
"How?" she asked, immediately scrambling to her feet. "And why didn't you tell me?"
Snape shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. "I don't know."
"How long?" she cried, crossing her arms and bending over at the waist. "How long has it been since you figured it out?"
His posture sagged as he pinched his eyes shut. "A week."
"A week?" she squealed savagely. "Why the hell didn't you tell me? For an entire week, you've let me think you were in my head! I cringe every time my friends say anything against you, because I think you'll get angry and punish them for it. Or punish me. I've felt physically ill when Harry complains about you, because I know you'll punish him! You couldn't see fit to release me from at least that fear?"
"I did not think of that," he answered quietly as he dipped his head further. "For that, I am truly sorry."
"Yeah?" she sneered. "Well, so am I."
He glanced up at her in surprise, his eyes searching for her meaning.
Hermione sighed and dropped her shoulders. "You and Harry are a lot alike, you know that? You hate him; he hates you. Both of you get so focused on hating each other, that you don't care who else gets hurt. And stupidly, I've tried to change his mind about you, but there's no point to it, is there?
"I don't care anymore," she shook her head, turning towards the door. "Just leave me the hell out of it."
"Miss Grang –"
His appeal was cut off by Hermione slamming the door behind her as she stepped out into the hallway.
"Hermione!" Harry shouted, scrambling to his feet from where he had been sitting. "Are you okay?"
"Fine," she spat, heading towards the staircase.
"I am so sorry," he continued. "I never meant -"
She whirled around suddenly and glared at him. "Just leave me alone!"
Harry swallowed his apologies and stood frozen in place as he watched her sprint up the staircase. He turned around at the sound of a door opening, and grimaced at the sight of Snape staring at him with his arms crossed.
"I'm going, sir. I just wanted to know she was okay," he answered, ducking his head as he held out the flax seed jar. As the professor took it from him, Harry shrugged. "Guess I really did fail that potion."
"It would appear that way," Severus snorted. He watched as the boy walked away in defeat, and then rolled his eyes and called out, "Potter."
Harry flinched at the sound of his surname and slowly turned around.
"It will take me most of the evening to neutralize the toxic effects of your concoction," he lazily explained. "If you hope to earn back any of the points for your dismal performance thus far this term, you would do well to report here at your regularly scheduled class time."
Harry's mouth dropped in absolute shock.
"Continue gaping like a fish, and I shall not hesitate to toss you in the Black Lake," Snape said with a cold glare. When the boy immediately snapped his mouth shut, he narrowed his eyes further. "Now get out of my sight before I change my mind."
Without a word, Potter nodded and tore up the stairs.
X x x x x x x x X x x x x x x x X
"Are you sure you don't want to eat?" Ginny asked from the doorway.
Hermione groaned and shook her head against her pillow. "I'm not hungry."
The redhead raised an eyebrow and leaned against the door jamb. She stared at the girl sprawled across her bed for a minute before speaking. "Are you actually not hungry or are you just avoiding Harry? I heard about what happened, you know."
Hermione let out a long sigh and stared blankly at her bedpost. "Just go, Gin. I'm fine."
"Alright then – I'll sneak something back for you," Ginny responded with a shake of her head. She paused briefly before leaving. "If it makes you feel any better, Harry's afraid that Snape may opt to disembowel him tomorrow morning. And if it really takes all night to clean up like he claimed, there's probably reason to be concerned."
"Professor Snape," the brunette corrected with a whisper several moments later. She then winced and curled into a ball. Harry was not the only one she wanted to avoid at supper. Snape would be there, too, presiding over the meal from the Head Table.
If he's not still down there, moping about on the floor of his office. Hermione sighed deeply and wrapped her arms around the pillow. She could not get the image of his face out of her head. At the time, she had thought the worst of him, but what if she had been wrong? She had been so afraid of dying like that – completely powerless with no hope of saving herself. The anger she felt afterwards had given her some semblance of control, and so she had latched onto that with spirit. She had accused him of being blinded by hatred, but what had she done?
What's wrong with me? She had been angry before – yelling at Ron, Harry, or her parents; punching Malfoy; and even blackmailing Rita Skeeter – but nothing like this. She had never even considered ruining someone else's homework before. Even when she was upset with the boys, she had helped them to the best of her ability. And this was not just anyone's grade she had destroyed – it was Harry's, her best friend's. How could she have lashed out like that at someone she loved?
And Snape! Hermione grimaced at all the hateful things she had shouted at him. She had thrown more curse words at him today than she could even remember using in her entire life. She could have lost fifty points easily, just for her language alone. And she had hit him! Striking a teacher – that was likely to be expulsion, not point loss.
She blew out a deep breath and buried her face beneath her arm. She had been so afraid of him abusing their connection to punish her, yet the only points he had taken from her so far had been in that first Potions lesson – and he had given them back afterward. He had only been blocking her thoughts for a week, so she knew he had to have heard all of the jokes and spiteful comments people had made at his expense, but to her knowledge he had not been taking away points any more un-biasedly than usual. He knew about the sabotage, but had done nothing about it except save her own potion. She deserved to lose that grade, and yet all Snape had done was comment on her Slytherin tendencies.
Watching Harry suffer was punishment in itself, though. Not to mention the fiasco in Potions today was an indirect result of her actions. She had blamed Snape and Harry for what happened, but it was partly her fault, as well. Harry would have handled the professor's snide comments about his potion much better had he not spent the past week suffering Slytherin ridicule and cursing Snape's very existence. And Snape never backed down from a confrontation when it came to the Boy-Who-Lived, so why should she have expected any different?
In fact, she had never seen the man ignore provocation – except when it came to her.
Hermione rolled over onto her back, chewing on her lip as she stared at the underside of the maroon canopy. It seemed strange that he would allow her such behavior. Maybe he was letting it slide because he felt he had injured her enough already. He undoubtedly had, but Severus Snape was cold, and he detested weakness. Was he even capable of compassion? Or maybe he was worried that she could not take any more punishment from him – worried that one more nasty comment from him would send her over the edge, and end life for the both of them.
As if, she snorted. She could handle him yelling at her. She would almost prefer it, actually. As much as it had been a struggle for her to act 'normal' in class, it was highly off-setting to have Snape acting differently around her. It was easier to slip into her old routine when he was bitter and snarky, and it was easier to forget what had happened. When he was decent to her, or ignored her transgressions, it reminded her of why he was treating her that way.
"He's not a nice guy, Hermione, and some day he's going to do something even you can't forgive him for."
Harry's words had been torturing her for a week. She never believed Snape to be nice, but he did not deserve to be considered a monster. Even with everything he had done to her, she had forgiven him – or was nearly ready to forgive him. From day to day, her level of tolerance seemed to vary to where even she was not sure how she felt towards the man. She trusted him and did not hate him – at least, when she was not afraid. When panic and fear overtook her emotions, she could not think clearly, and Snape began to look rather a lot like the enemy.
She had been trying to work on controlling her fears – Occlumency was helping with that. The nightmares were coming with less frequency, and she could sleep through the night without the Dreamless Sleep. The only real times she had allowed the fear to overtake her had been today in class and after the Welcoming Feast when they had –
Hermione immediately lurched into a seated position. It had already been two weeks since the bond was renewed! If the magic followed the same pattern, it was likely to be wearing thin soon. Snape was going to have to touch her again.
"Oh God," she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself. She may have been considering forgiveness, but she certainly was not ready for that.
X x x x x x x x X x x x x x x x X
Hermione slept through breakfast the next morning, courtesy of the Dreamless Sleep dose she had ingested. She had spent half an hour picking at the plate of food Ginny had brought her before giving up on it and on the day. She woke up with fifteen minutes to spare before Charms class, and since she had fallen asleep in her school uniform, she did not even bother changing.
Harry had shown up a few seconds before Flitwick began his lecture, so he only managed to toss her a weak smile before sagging into his seat beside Ron. She had eyed his rumpled clothes and sweaty brow with interest before devoting her full attention to the lesson.
When the diminutive professor dismissed the class an hour later, she quickly caught up with the two boys as they walked to lunch. Harry glanced at her worriedly, but relaxed when she gave him a small smile. He opened his mouth to speak, but she quickly shook her head.
"I know you're sorry, Harry," she said quietly. "And I am, too. Shall we call it even?"
Harry gave a small laugh and ducked his head. "I nearly killed you, and all you did was snap at me. If you wanna call us even, I won't stop you."
"As if you could," Ron mumbled. When the two of them looked at him oddly, he shrugged. "As if he could stop you, I mean. You're kind of a force to be reckoned with, Hermione."
She rolled her eyes in amusement as Harry gave a laugh. "So where exactly have you been, Harry? You look like you've just spent an hour looking after a blast-ended skrewt."
"Two-and-a-half hours actually," the dark-haired boy answered. "And it wasn't a blast-ended skrewt, it was Snape."
"Close enough," Ron muttered. "I think I'd take the skrewt."
"Why were you with Professor Snape?" Hermione asked, ignoring the jibe.
"I thought Ginny told you," he answered. When she shook her head, he explained, "Snape's letting me earn back some points, strangely enough. He had me brew the potion we did last week, starting from the point of stasis."
Her mouth dropped open and she stopped immediately in her tracks. When the boys noticed she was no longer with them, they turned around. Harry laughed at her expression. "I know! I couldn't believe it either. I don't think I slept at all last night because I was so worried it was some nasty trick of his."
"I was still pretty sure he was gonna use your organs for potion ingredients when you left breakfast this morning," Ron added.
"I was too, actually," Harry nodded. "But apparently Professor McGonagall is accusing him of sabotaging the Quidditch team by failing me. At least that's what he claimed. He's giving me the chance just to shut her up since he's sure Slytherin's going to take the Cup anyway."
"Fat chance of that," Ron laughed. "Though, he'll probably just fail you out of spite when they lose."
Hermione shook her head in disbelief and started walking towards the Great Hall. As the boys fell in behind her, she felt a gentle presence at the edge of her mind. Slamming down her Occlumency shields, she turned her head sharply towards the left.
"I apologize, Miss Granger," Dumbledore stated with a smile, holding his hands up. "I didn't mean to startle you."
"It's alright, sir," she answered as the Headmaster greeted the two boys.
"I was wondering, Miss Granger, if you might have time for a visit to my office this evening."
She narrowed her eyes in response, but nodded.
The elder wizard gave a dip of his head and turned to leave. "Harry, Mr. Weasley – do enjoy your meal. Miss Granger, I will see you after supper. I do so like mint truffles."
As he disappeared into the Great Hall, Harry turned to her and cocked his head. "What's that about?"
"Don't know," she lied as the three of them stepped across the threshold and made their way towards the Gryffindor table. Her eyes flicked towards the Head Table where Snape was steadfastly ignoring her presence. She had a pretty darn good idea in mind of what the visit to Dumbledore's office might entail.
"Maybe your parents sent you something," Ron supplied with a grin, breaking her thoughts. "It is your birthday on Saturday."
Hermione felt a sudden pang of emotion at his suggestion. He could have punched her in the stomach, and it would have hurt less. Blinking back tears, she forced out a small smile and shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe."
X x x x x x x x X x x x x x x x X
"Mint truffles."
Hermione sighed as the gargoyle stepped aside to allow her to pass onto the stair. She schooled her features as the staircase slowly ascended beneath her feet. When stood facing the large wooden doors, she gathered her courage and confidently knocked. Upon hearing a voice bid her entrance, she slowly pushed open the door and slipped into the large room.
Surprisingly enough, the Headmaster's desk stood vacant. The only current inhabitant of the room stood near the fireplace, staring at her with a raised eyebrow.
She cleared her throat and gestured towards the desk. "I thought he would be present if we were meeting here."
Snape shook his head and crossed his arms. "Minerva is supervising a detention this evening, so I had to resort to extreme measures."
"Ah," she responded, shifting nervously on her feet. She frowned, staring at the floor before glancing back up at him. "Professor, about what happened yesterday – I really do apol –"
"Don't," he hissed quietly. "You were well within your rights."
Hermione let her apology trail off into silence and then took a deep breath. She crossed over to the fireplace and stared at the tin of floo powder expectantly. When Snape then stalked over to an armchair, she looked at him in confusion. "We're not going to your office?"
"No," he answered, taking a seat. "The Headmaster shall be away most of the evening."
"Oh." She hesitated for a minute by the fire before moving to sit in the armchair across from him.
Severus leaned an elbow on the armrest and stared at her pensively. After a few minutes, he leaned back and rested his hands on his lap. "I should have considered my words to you more carefully in class, and I should not have delayed in informing you of my discovery."
"Obviously," she muttered, shifting her eyes to the fire.
"I will not allow this to happen again," he stated forcefully. He leaned forward and waited until the girl met his meaningful gaze. "You have my word, Miss Granger. It will not happen again."
She could tell by the steely look in his eyes that he meant it, and that it would not happen. There was no doubt in her mind that he would keep his promise and do everything in his power to keep her from harm. He was even attempting to reduce the tension between Harry and himself, by allowing the boy to improve his class standing. If he and Harry minimized their battles, she would not get caught up in the crossfire. Relief trickled through her at the knowledge that she would be safe in his classroom. With that thought in mind, she nodded and crossed her arms as she looked at his shoes. After a minute's silence, her curiosity got the best of her.
"How did you do it? How did you silence it?"
He sucked in a large breath, pulling back from her as he considered his response. Eventually he settled on the most direct answer. "I attempted the method you've utilized in your Occlumency practice."
"Really?" she exclaimed, as her eyes shot to his face.
He nodded, and then continued, "While focusing my magic, I was able to perform a silencing spell on the connection."
"A silencing spell?" Hermione cried, leaning forward in her chair. "It was that easy?"
"Easy?" he scoffed in disbelief. His eyes hardened into a glare. "I thought my bloody head was going to explode, and you think it easy?"
"Sorry," she muttered, dropping her eyes to the floor. "I didn't mean to imply that it wasn't difficult. I just meant that…that the concept itself was rather… not complicated. In theory, I guess – but theory and reality generally aren't remotely similar –"
"Do you always babble on unnecessarily?" Snape interrupted with a raised brow.
"Usually only when I'm apologizing," Hermione answered with a weak smile, which soon disappeared into a contemplative frown. "Can you turn it back on?"
"Yes," Severus responded slowly. "'Finite Incantatum' apparently works to cancel it."
"So if I need you to turn it back on, you can do it?"
His eyes tightened as he watched her fiddle with the edge of her sleeve. He sighed and looked at the wall. "I do not imagine that you would wish me to leave it permanently un-silenced."
She hesitantly raised her gaze to his face and shook her head.
"I am able to silence and un-silence your thoughts at will," he continued, "but seeing as I am not psychic, I would be incapable of determining when you… need me…to hear you."
Her face fell further into a scowl. "You're saying it's an all-or-nothing thing, then?"
"Unless you wish me to randomly switch on and off all day, every day in the small hopes I catch you in a moment of need," he snapped, glaring at nothing in particular. "Seeing as it's so easy and all."
"Don't be ridiculous, sir," she huffed, leaning back against her chair. "Couldn't there be a way to signal you or something?"
Snape raised an eyebrow as he finally met her eyes. "What would you suggest – bearing in mind that anything audible would be absolutely pointless."
Hermione chewed her lip as she bent forward in thought. "You said you used your mental magic to essentially cast a spell, right?"
"Yes."
"So couldn't I do the same thing? Mentally cast a spell over the connection?"
He took in a deep breath and narrowed his eyes. "And just what particular charm were you thinking of using?"
She gave a small shrug. "What about the Patronus charm?"
His eyes widened at the suggestion, and he immediately began thinking over the possibility. After several seconds had passed, he blinked and crossed his arms. "Your reasoning?"
"Well," she began slowly, "it's a visual cue, isn't it? We can use them to send messages and warnings under normal situations, and I don't think it would be harmful to you – unless you're secretly a dementor. If that's the case, sir, then we have bigger problems."
Severus gave a small snort and then fixed her with a critical gaze. "Do you feel that you are capable of doing that? I have it on good authority that you were experiencing difficulties in producing a corporeal patronus."
She winced at the memory of her failed attempts in Remus's class during the first week. Shaking those thoughts from her head, she stood from her chair. Mentally pulling forth a string of happy memories from her childhood, she slipped her wand from her pocket and confidently declared, "Expecto patronum!"
As the silver otter cheekily danced about the office, Hermione turned to face the seated wizard with a smug grin on her face. "Capable enough for you?"
"I don't recall asking for insolence," he uttered with an impassive stare.
The girl rolled her eyes and cancelled the spell.
"That's all well and good, Miss Granger," he stated blandly, "but the real question is whether or not you can do it up here."
She watched him tap the side of his temple, and then shrugged her shoulders. "There's only one way to find out, isn't there?"
X x x x x x x x X x x x x x x x X
Hermione squeezed her eyes shut and let out a long breath midway through her rounds the following night.
"Am I bothering you that much?" Jason asked, noticing her pained expression. "Sorry for talking."
Glancing over at the boy in surprise, she shook her head. "No, it's not you. I've just had a really bad headache today."
"Oh, sorry." He turned his attention to the hallway ahead of them. Several seconds of silence passed before he offered up a mumbled explanation. "I just get talkative when I'm tired. It keeps me awake, and I still have to write an entire essay for Transfiguration."
"It's alright," she responded, giving him a strained smile. "Honestly. It's actually a lot better than it was."
And it only took fifteen hours and three headache-relief potions. Hermione sighed and glanced down an empty corridor. She had spent hours the night before working on sending a mental patronus and had awakened in the morning with the feeling that her head was about to burst. Snape had warned her against pushing it too far in one setting, but she had refused to stop until she had nearly perfected the task. The patronus she had managed to send across the connection only accomplished a brief flickering in its corporeal form before disappearing, but he could still see the silver wisps of her less successful attempts. She had been paying for it today, but it was more than worth it. She now had a way to signal Snape if she ever needed his assistance, and that made her feel somewhat more comfortable in her own skin. Her privacy would no longer interfere with her safety.
A noisy yawn from her companion brought her attention back to their present task. So far they had sent three students back to the dormitory minus a handful of points, but the night seemed to be rather quiet. Quiet enough that she felt something was sure to go wrong.
And soon it did. As they were rounding the corner towards the staircase to the seventh floor, Hermione nearly cried out as a spasm rippled across her lower spine.
Oh, damn it, damn it, damn it! She let out a strained breath and gripped the stair railing with such force that her knuckles turned white. Within a matter of a few seconds, however, the spasm passed and the pain mellowed into a dull throbbing. Luckily, Jason had been in the midst of another large yawn and had not heard her gasp or noticed her tense stance.
Hermione felt her stomach drop as they started up the steps. It was only going to get worse if she continued to ignore it. She could not go through that pain again. It had to be taken care of now, and she needed Professor Snape. First, though, she had to get rid of her partner.
"Erm, Jason?" she ventured, breaking the silence of the staircase. "Is your Transfiguration essay due tomorrow?"
The light-haired boy glanced back at her and nodded enthusiastically. "Right after breakfast."
"Let me guess – you haven't even started it yet."
A light flush appeared on his cheeks as he shook his head.
Typical. Hermione faked an exasperated sigh. "Go on, then. I can finish rounds on my own."
"Are you sure?" he asked in surprise. "I mean, I thought we always had to be in twos."
"Technically we do, I suppose," she shrugged. "But you need to get that essay done. If you don't, or if you fall asleep, Professor McGonagall's going to be upset. We're already down a prefect for another two weeks. Besides, there's only one more floor to cover. I'll be fine."
"Well, if you're sure about it…"
"I am," she responded firmly, and pointed in the direction of Gryffindor Tower. "Go."
Jason flashed her a quick smile and tore up the stairs. Within seconds he had disappeared around the corner and out of sight. Sighing, Hermione rested her head against the cold stone of the wall. She did not want to do this. She did not even want to think about it.
I have to do this…I have to do this… Scrounging up every last ounce of courage she could manage, she closed her eyes and focused on their connection. She mentally cast a patronus and then sank against the wall with tears forming in her eyes.
"Miss Granger, if you continue foolishly over-taxing yourself, there will be no amount of potion that can relieve your headache. Let it be until you've recovered."
Hermione whimpered and wiped her face with her sleeve. 'Professor, it…it's starting.'
There was a few seconds' pause before his voice slid across her conscience again. "Where are you?"
'Seventh floor, doing rounds.'
"Are you alone?"
She shivered slightly and wrapped her arms around herself. 'Yes. I sent Jason back to do homework.'
"Go to the Room of Requirement. I shall be there shortly."
Letting out a shaky breath, Hermione nodded and pulled herself to her feet. As she slowly made her way towards the empty span of hallway where the room was located, she rubbed her hands up and down her arms and willed herself not to cry. When she reached the appropriate location, she stopped in the middle of the corridor and stared at the wall with severe apprehension. She did not dare walk back and forth in front of the space for she was afraid of what would lie behind the door.
She could feel the panic beginning to creep in as she stood there in the deserted hallway. Taking in a deep breath, she worked to combat the terror of the memories that were trying to surface. She knew she could not let it if she had any hope of getting through the rest of the night with her sanity intact. Closing her eyes, she focused on clearing the pain and fear from her mind.
"Miss Granger."
The voice snapped her from her introspection, and she flung open her eyes to meet the concerned gaze of Professor Snape. He cleared his throat and gestured to the door he was holding open for her.
Hermione swallowed back a nervous gulp of air and hesitantly stepped across the threshold. The room was not very large – smaller than her bedroom at home had been – but was cheerily lit. The soft tones of the walls and décor were meant to be calming, she was sure, but the mere presence of the bed in the center of the room was foreboding enough to shatter any semblance of comfort the room provided.
Her heart was pounding in her chest as she eyed the bed, and she visibly jumped as the door shut behind Snape.
"How much pain are you in?" he asked as he stepped in front of her, blocking her view of the bed.
She let her gaze shift up to his face and shook her head. "Not much. It hurt a great deal more a little while ago, but it's calmed down some since."
Traces of fear were evident in his expression as he posed his next question. "How long before it becomes unmanageable?"
"You mean like last time?" she asked, her voice squeaking. "Two days, perhaps? It just started, and I knew I couldn't ignore it this time."
Severus nodded as he let out a small breath of relief and ran a hand through his hair. He began unfastening his teaching robes, and extracted two small vials from his pocket before tossing the garment over the back of the armchair that the room had provided.
Hermione looked up in trepidation as he held out the first flask for her. She gingerly accepted the glass container filled with the dull grey potion. "Was I right about what this does?"
"You were," he responded politely. "With any luck, it will keep you from feeling any pain during… the encounter."
"Here's hoping," she whispered, tossing back the cool liquid. She coughed slightly at the chalky taste and grimaced as she ran her tongue across her teeth. As she swallowed the contents of the second vial he gave her, she made another disgusted face. "Can't you make anything that doesn't taste like dirt or death?"
The wizard gave a small smirk, but made no verbal reply as he banished the two ampoules back to his lab.
As a strange tingling sensation spread between her legs, Hermione gave a surprised gasp and glanced up at him with wide eyes.
"I take it from your expression that the potion is working," he said quietly. "It will only last for a particular length of time, so I suggest we not waste it."
She gulped nervously and nodded as she removed her school robes. Letting out a long breath, she shakily moved towards the bed and tentatively perched on the edge. As Snape moved towards her, panic began to rise in her chest, and images of approaching Death Eaters flashed across her thoughts. The walls seemed to close in on her, and the adrenaline coursing through her system was shouting at her to flee.
"If you could lie back," he instructed as he came to stand in front of her.
Hermione whimpered and shook her head. "I d-don't think I can do this."
"You have to," Severus snapped, pushing on his forehead. "There isn't exactly a choice on the matter."
"I know that!" she hissed bitterly.
He sighed loudly and threw his gaze to the ceiling. "Try to clear your mind, Miss Granger. Close your eyes, if you have to. I will make this as quick and painless as I can."
She gave a muted groan in response, but scooted father onto the bed and laid back against the pillows. When she heard the clanking of his belt and then felt the mattress depress with his added weight, she let out a small squeak and slammed her eyelids shut. She worked feverishly to achieve an empty mentalscape as his cold fingers ghosted the sides of her thighs while he pushed up her skirt and gently removed her knickers.
As he parted her legs and moved into position, Hermione wrapped her arms around her chest and bit down on the edge of her lip. A second later, he pushed inside of her, and a strangled cry escaped her body.
"Pain?" Snape immediately froze and then searched her face in concern.
"N-no," she stammered, continuing to squeeze her eyes shut as she shook her head. "It doesn't hurt really. It's just weird – like an uncomfortable pressure."
He grunted softly in understanding and hesitantly began moving again. While his thrusting continued, she tried to ignore the odd sensations and somehow managed to keep the traumatic memories at bay. Time seemed to drag on, and eventually she was brave enough to open her eyes. Upon seeing that his own eyes were closed and there was a strangely peaceful look upon his face, she quickly turned her head to face the wall as her stomach roiled in disgust.
After what seemed like several minutes, there was a pleasured groan from above her and his spilled seed trickled out from between her legs. She took in a tight breath as he withdrew from her body and pushed off of the bed. When she finally summoned the courage to look at him, he had fully re-dressed and guilt was clearly displayed upon his features.
"I will finish your rounds tonight," he stated, dropping his eyes to the floor as he held out her pink knickers. "You may retire to your dormitory."
Hermione nodded as she sat up and collected her undergarments. When Snape left a few seconds later, she quickly stepped into them and then immediately jumped to grab her robes. Blinking away tears, she hurriedly fastened them and then slipped out of the Room of Requirement.
Hastily she strode through the darkened hallways and staircases until she reached the Fat Lady's portrait. After speaking the password, she climbed through the hole and passed through the common room before either Ron or Harry even noticed her appearance. When she entered the prefects' room in the girls' dormitory, she gave a muffled response to Ginny's and Mattie's greetings before locking herself in the bathroom.
After stripping out of her clothes, she started the shower and then stepped into the hot spray. A second or two later, she sank down to the bottom of the tub and began to cry.