Chapter 5:

Extreme Makeover: Technodrome Edition

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Whenever a word said by Krang is italicized and in bold, that's meant to represent him saying it in that croaky manner he tended to speak in during the earlier seasons of the Fred Wolf cartoon!

RESERVOIR LAIR
6:15 PM

The group had returned to the lair, and Mikey was tending to Splinter's wounds, while Don and Donatello were at the scanning station.

"I don't understand," mused Don. "The tracking system was closing in, and then suddenly, POOF! Static! It's like the Technodrome disappeared!"

"Any idea what we should do next?" asked Leo, turning to the side.

Four green hands shot up before him, each belonging to one of the shorter Turtles.

"...other than going out for a slice?" Leo responded.

Michelangelo lowered his hand in response. The other three kept their hands up, though.

Raph growled. "I toldja, you can't brainstorm with these goofballs!" he remarked. "They ain't got no brains!"

"Hey!" Raphael snapped. "I'm sure plenty of people have said the same about you, mister short-fuse!"

"What, you wanna finish what we started on the roof?" Raph shot back.

"No, I wanna start it," Raphael declared. "Unless, of course…you're chicken."

Raph gripped his sai tightly, just itching to fight. "Fine then, pee-wee!" he declared.

Off to the side, both Leonardos face-palmed in response to this. Getting their Raphaels to stop bickering would be like trying to herd cats…

AT THAT SAME TIME, ONBOARD THE TECHNODROME…

Under Dr. Chaplin's instructions [via his orders being given to him through Karai], the Foot Tech Ninjas were hard at work on remodeling the Technodrome.

"Wow…I've had a lot of bizarre projects to work on," he mused as he watched. "But remodeling a mobile battle fortress? Now this is the stuff that dreams are made of!"

Suddenly, there came a loud thump from afar.

"I guess Mr. Saki is getting adjusted to his new body…" Chaplin noted.

MEANWHILE…

"AAARGH!" Shredder received a nasty kick in the ribs that sent him flying, knocking him on his side.

"Let this be a warning, fool," scowled Ch'rell as he stomped over. "Never cross me again. Usually, I punish those who betray me with slow, torturous deaths…but I shall make an exception, since you are an alternate version of myself. Although you are inferior, I cannot risk your death in case it might have undesirable consequences to my own existence."

"It was your massive ego that forced me to deceive you to begin with!" Shredder defended as he pulled himself to his feet. "I wished to revive you so that we could join forces against our common enemy—those blasted Turtles! But it was your unwillingness to cooperate and listen which lead to—"

"SILENCE!" bellowed Ch'rell as he turned halfway and raised his blades at him. "NO ONE questions the actions of the Shredder!"

Then there came a titter…which built up to a chuckle…and then became a laugh that rang across the walls of the Technodrome.

"And what, pray tell, is it that you find so amusing?" inquired the Utrom.

"You call yourself a Shredder?" sneered Shredder. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself!"

"YOU DARE—?!" Ch'rell growled as he drew back, stopping the blades a few inches from his counterpart's eyes. "Have you a death wish, or are you some sort of fool?"

"The real Shredder would never let his guard down," declared Saki, crossing his arms, unfazed by the alien's threat. "And yet, you were fooled by the deceptions of one you claimed was 'inferior'!"

The Utrom Shredder narrowed his crimson eyes at him.

"True, I'm no match for you or that daughter of yours, physically speaking," Saki continued. "But you have to admit, that were it not for her interference, you would be as good as sashimi."

Silence filled the room as Ch'rell had to consider this…but he had to admit, his counterpart wasn't wrong. "You've got a point there, inferior," he admitted.

Shredder winced at the insult, but considering the circumstances, he managed to swallow his pride.

"While your strength is laughable, you did manage to fool me. Your skills in deception seem to surpass my own!" Ch'rell commented, turning to leave. "It would seem I may still have use of you after all. But I warn you…one false move, and you shall pay."

"Perish the thought," Saki replied. "After all, we share a common goal."

Once the Utrom Shredder left, Krang entered the room.

"Oh, you're still alive!" he commented, seeing Shredder in one piece. "...how disappointing."

"Zip it, you gurgling ganglion!" Shredder spat.

"As much as I'd love to trade barbs with you, I need to make sure these indolent imbeciles aren't wrecking my warship!" Krang remarked as he headed off to look around.

As he did, he saw many of these 'tech ninjas' partaking in giving the place a serious overhaul. They were overhauling hull plating with rivet guns and acetylene torches, rewiring entanglements of exposed cables, ripping out consoles and bulkheads.

"Hey! That was my favorite bulkhead!" croaked Krang. "I paid a fortune for that console! And you're ruining the paint job!"

"Do you ever cease your incessant whining, Krang?" asked Shredder, lounging in his command chair. "My counterpart is simply giving this tub a much-needed refit. Quite generous of him, indeed!"

The ninja crime lord continued as he stood up from his chair. "I wouldn't go as far as to say he's 'repaying' us, but we have reached an understanding," he explained.

Krang raised a ridge. "Is that right, then?" he asked, as two of the Foot Ninjas took the chair away.

Shredder looked over, but simply glowered at this. Sooner or later, he'll drop his guard, he thought to himself.

"Face it, fool—we're under new management!" Krang remarked. As Shredder looked up, a long banner unfurled over the banister of the upper level—emblazoned with the three-pronged symbol of this universe's Foot!

Elsewhere, Utrom Shredder was taking a stroll through the R & D facilities of the fortress. "How go the repairs, Karai?" he asked.

Karai was nearby with a clipboard. "Very well, Father," she replied. "The technology of Dimension X is quite remarkable, ridiculous though it may look. But when combined with Utrom technology…it should prove devastating."

"Yes…the two merge well together," smiled Utrom Shredder, as he admired his new suit. "This new body is proof of that."

"And more proof," Karai continued as they continued past an array of wobbly-kneed Foot Soldiers. "Their robotic Foot Soldiers…powerful technology, but clumsy. But now, with the proper modifications…"

A newly-assembled Foot Ninja was practicing moves with grace and speed, as its hands transformed into blades, then lasers, then cannons.

"...lethal," Karai smiled.

The newly-built Foot Soldiers 2.0 stood at attention, and then bowed to Utrom Shredder. Soon, they passed vats of bubbling, glowing purple mutagen, and rows of human Foot ninjas waiting in line, along with Purple Dragons.

"Our human troops have also been upgraded," Karai continued. "By analyzing the mutagen that has infected Hun, we have successfully engineered our own mutant army."

One by one, each Tech Ninja was administering a shot of mutagen into the subordinates waiting in line. One of them was given a shot in the arm, then he started to shake and convulse, as he screamed in agony…and then changed into a mutated pangolin!

Utrom Shredder looked as giddy as a child at Christmastime. "Soon, I will bring this world to its KNEES!" he declared. "And then—"

He stopped for a moment as he saw his counterpart nearby, waving in the background.

"...and then, perhaps, the world of my sneakier counterpart," he finished. "Infinite possibilities have been opened to me, thanks to this…'Technodrome'! I shall rule a multiverse, Karai!"

From the shadows, Hun chuckled. "Sounds good to me," he responded. "Just as long as my dragons get that mutagen boost, too!"

Utrom Shredder headed into the Trans-Dimensional Chamber, and stopped at a control panel.

"Computer!" He spoke in a powerful voice. "This is the Shredder!"

The lights and screens on the panel flashed. "IDENTITY CONFIRMED," the computer said as its circuits chirped. "RECOGNIZE SHREDDER. CH'RELL. OROKU SAKI. DESTROYER OF—"

"That's enough of that. Now...Computer!" Utrom Shredder cut it off. "I am most intrigued by the implications of this…portal. I wish to learn about alternate dimensions. Show me…everything!"

Within the portal, an image began to take shape: swirls of white clusters, like the fingers of a galaxy beginning to form! And Utrom Shredder laughed wickedly, eager to see what he would learn…

BACK IN THE LAIR…

The shorter Turtles were each engrossed in their own activities: Leonardo was busying himself with combat practice, Donatello was using a soldering iron on a piece of metal, Raphael was playing videogames on the TV, and Michelangelo was in the kitchen, making yet another bizarre pizza. The most recent combination was Cheez Doodles and chocolate fudge, and right now he was thinking something along the lines of french fries and grape jelly.

"C'mon, Raph—lighten up!" insisted Mikey. "Our Cowabunga cousins aren't so bad, right?"

"Yeah, listen to 'im, grumpy guts," Raphael called before the videogame made a triumphant sound. "WHOO-HOO! LEVEL EIGHT!"

"Not bad?!" snorted Raph. "They're…clowns, not ninjas!"

Raphael put the game on pause, and flipped over towards his counterpart. "Is that right then?" he asked, drawing his sai. "In that case, I got a real pretty flower for ya to sniff, bucko!"

"Bring it on, runt!" Raph retorted. "I bet those things're made outta foam rubber!"

Before the blows could begin again, Splinter's cane whirled through the air and lodged in the wall behind them.

Prompted, both Turtles turned and saw Master Splinter. He was a bit banged-up and bandaged, but he was still up and about.

"Stop this bickering! You only do your enemy's work for him. You are ninja," he said, his tone stern. "All of you," he emphasized as he pulled his cane free, and whacked Raph in the head with it. "And all are welcome here. Do not embarrass your sensei."

Donatello watched him as he left the room. "...he may not look like our Splinter—but he sure talks a lot like him!" he noted.

Raph looked a bit sheepish now. "Yeah…uh…sorry 'bout the 'clown' crack," he apologized, reluctant.

"Well…maybe I'll forget about it," Raphael responded as he put his sai back.

"Listen guys, we've tangled with Shredhead and his Technodrome plenty of times," explained Leonardo. "In fact, we've got all kinds of special gear back home for this sort of thing!"

"'Special gear'?" questioned Leo.

"Certainly," nodded Donatello. "But like Leonardo said, it's back in our home dimension. We'll need to build some sort of Trans-Dimensional Portal device to get there…" As he pondered, he saw a discarded flashlight off to the side. "To quote so many great inventors—Eureka!"

"What'd you think of?" Don asked.

"What if we could construct some sort of gateway into other dimensions—but small enough to fit into most overhead compartments?" asked Donatello, taking the flashlight and holding it up. "Like…perhaps, some sort of Portal Rod?"

Leo looked over at his brainy brother. "Donny? Whatever he's talking about—can it be done?" he inquired.

"We've seen time-travel windows, cybermats, transporters…heck, I've even helped build a few myself," replied Don. "But a Dimensional Portal…in a rod? It sounds, well…silly. No offense," he told his counterpart.

"None taken. And besides, I've dealt with sillier," Donatello responded. "With our combined brainpower, we should be able to make something incredible."

And with that, he led his taller counterpart towards the lab so they could get to work.