A/N: I wanted to post this for the 10th Anniversary, but I missed it by two weeks. Can you believe it's been an entire decade? I certainly can't. When I started this, I had no idea of the absolute novel that would shake out of the few scenes I had in my head and could never have imagined how many faithful readers around the globe would stay with the journey so long! Here I am one car, two laptops, three degrees, and four apartments later, with the Muses still dragging me through this epic adventure. I know where I'm going, though, and as much as I love you all and these characters, I hope to Merlin I won't be penning another reflection for the 15th.
Thank you for so many years of kind words, laughs, tears, and motivation! I always love hearing what you think - good or bad - so please keep leaving your reviews.
And with that said... please don't hate me.
Bound to Him
Chapter 88
Aching and on the edge of dizziness, Tonks stumbled down the eerily quiet castle corridors. She followed the delicious scent of food to the Hogwarts staffroom, where half of the Council members were breakfasting.
Most of them were breakfasting, at least. Snape instead stared at his plate as if the eggs had just insulted his mother.
"Mornin' all!" the young Auror feigned energy. Receiving greetings from everyone but the sullen Slytherin, who winced at her volume, Tonks slumped dramatically over the back of Remus's chair.
"Good morning, Dora," he chuckled.
"Is it though?" She closed her eyes with a deep sigh. "Feed me, will you? I haven't the strength."
Amused, Remus handed back a hearty piece of bacon, which she eagerly consumed.
"You're not just getting back from your shift now?" Minerva asked in concern.
"Yes, ma'am." Tonks stole a grape from Remus's plate and popped it into her mouth. "S'posed to be off two hours ago, but we have Severus Snatch-Me-If-You-Can Snape to thank for that."
"What?" the named wizard snapped his reddened eyes across the table.
She pointed at him with another grape. "I spent all night chasing your incredibly inconsiderate, insomniac arse through Northern Ireland."
"I wasn't anywhere near there."
"You don't say?" Tonks tilted her head as she stole the half-eaten piece of toast from Remus's hand.
Severus rolled his eyes and resumed scowling at the table.
"Was there a source named for those tips?" Minerva asked.
"Monitoring Office claimed his Alert triggered," Tonks replied. "Clearly, it didn't, unless your wand decided to pop itself across the Irish Sea in the wee hours, Professor."
A hard glare was his only response.
"They're fabricating Alerts, then, to keep the Aurors distracted," Remus surmised.
"Fecking waste of time." Tonks commandeered his teacup, grimacing at the beefy flavor. "But at least I know it's a fecking waste of time."
Dissatisfied with the pilfered tea, she eyed the steaming coffee mug in front of Snape, who promptly wrenched it out of her reach with a snarl.
The young witch then turned to her boyfriend. "Remus, did you know someone's invented a potion for reducing hangovers? It's supposed to work like a charm."
Minerva snorted over her teacup.
"Would that be the Hangover-Reducer potion, dear?" Lupin smirked.
She snapped her fingers. "That's the one! Can never recall the name. Something about hangovers and reducing them."
Severus sat back in his chair and glared at the ceiling.
"The one with ginger root?" Fred asked.
"And ginseng?" George chimed in.
"Leafflower extract?"
"And sand pear?"
"So simple, a third year could brew it!"
"Or a drunk fifth—er—seventh year," George corrected with a glance to his former Head of House.
"The very same," Tonks quipped, keeping her eyes fixed on the seething Potions Master. "If only we knew someone who could brew a batch. Perhaps Hermione might be game to give it a go."
Had she not been watching closely, the Auror would have missed the man's flinch. Curiosity piqued; Tonks stood upright and stretched her back. "Where is Hermione, by the way?"
"Still abed, I believe," Poppy answered. "I don't think she slept well."
"She's not the only one." Stifling her own yawn, Tonks noted the tension in Snape's shoulders. "Minerva, would you mind if I have a bit of a kip before getting into it for the day? I haven't slept since… Tuesday?"
"Of course not," the Headmistress replied. "Provided that kip doesn't involve Remus. I do require his assistance this morning."
"Gods no!" the Auror playfully shoved her wizard's shoulder. "Please take him. I've no use for him."
"Not many do," Snape muttered into his coffee.
As Remus glared, Tonks squeezed his shoulder in warning. She then leaned across the table to steal Snape's untouched plate, silencing his protest with a hard stare. "You're not eating it, so why let it go to waste?"
She quickly loaded a covered tray with food, then headed toward the fireplace. "Nice to see you all. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go join Hermione in bed."
Fred choked on a scone, necessitating a vigorous series of slaps on his back from his eager twin.
XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX
At the knocking, Hermione rolled over to face her door. It was unlikely to be Severus coming to offer another unwanted apology – he would not risk approaching her bedroom with Moody in the castle – so it must be one of the others fetching her for breakfast. She did not feel ready to face Severus in private yet and had even less desire to force herself to eat and chitchat with everyone else in front of him.
Briefly, the witch considered pretending not to hear the next set of knocks, but eventually slid out of bed and cracked open the door.
Smirking, Tonks held up a breakfast tray. "Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!"
"You're far too cheerful," Hermione groaned, allowing her entry.
"Good morning to you, too," the Auror commented, unloading her haul on the small desk. "Here, take this before I eat it all. All I'm running on right now is suspicion and spite."
Though not particularly hungry, Hermione accepted the plate and climbed back into bed.
"Mm, shove over, eh?" Tonks mumbled through a mouthful of eggs, settling in beside her against the headboard. "Circe's tits, I forgot how good Hogwarts breakfast is."
"It is, yes. Thanks for the delivery."
"In lieu of payment, I'll be requisitioning your bed for a nap."
Hermione glanced at her in surprise. "Oh, you are, are you?"
"You're welcome to stay, of course, but I can manage on my own if you're up for the day."
"Not quite yet, no," she sighed.
When finished eating, Tonks turned to study the girl still picking at her breakfast. "Alright, spill."
"What?"
"You've hardly touched the meal I acquired for you at great personal risk, nor have you slept well by the looks of it. Snape doesn't seem to have accomplished either and is hungover to boot. Something happen between the two of you yesterday?"
"Hungover?" Hermione frowned. "Why hasn't he taken a potion?"
"I assume he's punishing himself for something," Tonks replied. "Or he's an idiot. Or both. He's probably both."
Hermione lowered her eyes to her lap, suspecting it was her fault. Severus had been fine before she took things farther than he was comfortable going with her.
"Anyway, I want to know if that particular something is something that requires additional punishment."
"No." Severus was already punishing himself more than he deserved.
"Did he get upset with you about the Wolfsbane?"
"No. Brewing the Wolfsbane went better than I expected."
"Then what did go wrong?"
Hermione was torn between the desire to seek help in sorting out her tangled mess of feelings, fears, and reason, and the desire to keep it all buried inside to spare her own embarrassment and preserve what little remained of Snape's privacy.
"I may be exhausted, but I am stubborn enough to stay awake until you tell me something," Tonks prodded.
Handing over her plate, Hermione inhaled shakily. "You were right…the other day, when you said not to rush things."
The Auror paused as she set the nearly full plate atop her empty one. "Oh, about… wait."
Her large eyes swung back to fix on the girl's red face. "You tried giving him… And he… Was he rough with you? Did he hurt you?"
"Nn—"
Tonks growled, tossing off the covers. "That son-of-a-bitch! I'll –"
"No!" Hermione grabbed her arm. "No, that's not what happened."
"Then tell me what did happen," Tonks demanded, deflating back into bed. She held her tongue while the girl clumsily described the sequence of events until hearing its conclusion. "He did what?"
"I felt so stupid. I should've just let it alone and gone to bed."
"Did you accidently bite him or something?"
"No!" Hermione hissed. "Gods no!"
"Sorry," Tonks rubbed her face tiredly. "So, he just up and ran in the middle of it?"
"Yes."
"Thanks for the blow, gotta go?"
Scowling, Hermione swatted the witch with her pillow.
"Adding assaulting an Auror to the list, hmm?" Tonks scoffed. "Come on, that was a little funny."
"No, it's not." Hermione wiped at her eyes in frustration.
Spotting her tears, the Auror sobered. "Shit, I'm sorry. You're right; it's not funny. Has he explained himself yet?"
"His shields slipped, I guess, and he started seeing it as what we've pretended for the D—You-Know-Who," she grimaced. "That I was submitting to him or something."
"You slipped his shields? Shit. Here's hoping Old Mouldy-Wart doesn't think of that particular tactic."
With a snarl, Hermione flopped onto her side and glared at the wall.
"Ugh, I'm sorry," Tonks groaned, leaning on her shoulder. "No sleep, remember? My filter is questionable on a good day."
When the girl refused to turn over, the Auror sighed and squeezed her arm. "So, Snape thought you were being too submissive and panicked… because of the bond?"
"Yes," she huffed, glancing over her shoulder. "But I wasn't."
"I know." Tonks stifled a yawn as she rubbed the girl's arm. "You didn't do anything wrong, love."
Hermione scrunched up her face. "I shouldn't have… I should've asked him first, or…"
"Was he upset with you?"
"No," she murmured. "He said it was his fault."
"Then let it go. There's no need for you to be embarrassed."
As if it were that simple. Hermione heaved a sigh. "He asked if I wanted to stay, but I couldn't. Not after…"
"Understandable."
"But if he spent the night drinking because…"
"No." Tonks forcibly rolled the girl onto her back. "That isn't your fault, Hermione. They are his issues, not yours. It was his choice to deal with them that way."
"But if I hadn't–"
"No. Not another word on that. You are not responsible for him. His actions are his own."
Hermione rubbed at her eyes. "Except when they're not."
Exhaling, Tonks scooted down to lie beside her. "There is that. But last night, they were his own."
Except everything he has to do affects everything else he does. She stared up at the ceiling until her vision blurred with moisture. "It's not fair."
"No, it's not," Tonks mumbled, eyes closed.
"He does his best, but I keep pushing and pushing and pushing. I just want us to be normal, but…"
"But he's not normal."
Hermione scowled. "No one could be after what he's faced."
"True."
"I want to help him, but I just don't know how."
"You help brew," Tonks reminded.
"I know. That's not really what I meant." Hermione crossed her arms atop the blanket. Her brewing did somewhat shorten his list of demands, but it paled in comparison to everything he had done for her. He had kept her alive long enough for her to find the motivation to fight to survive, and on top of the countless hours of extra lessons and protecting her family, he had helped her heal both mentally and physically. By no means was she fully mended – Will I ever be? – but she was stronger, her skills were sharper, and her vision clearer thanks to his assistance.
Despite dealing with all of his demons past and present, Severus managed to meet and surpass her needs in addition to his many other obligations. She wanted to be able to return the favor.
"I can't tell you everything he's been through – I doubt I even know the half of it – but he's survived much more than I have, and he's done it alone." Hermione took in a deep breath. "And it's like he can't see what he's accomplished. He just sees the flaws. It seems like…he thinks his only value is in how others can use him; he doesn't seem to see the value in himself as a person. I see it, but he won't believe me if I tell him. He'll think it's just the bloody bond influencing me. I thought maybe one day he would understand its genuine, but… apparently he can't even be intimate with me without Occluding."
When she fell silent, a soft snore responded. Hermione raised her head to see that Tonks was asleep and was somewhat relieved to know her final comments had gone unheard by the Auror. Though she was no closer to a resolution, it had helped to articulate her concerns. Exhaling loudly, she turned on her side and closed her eyes.
XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX
After grabbing an early supper, Hermione nervously made her way back up to the infirmary. Though she had caught glimpses of Snape throughout the day, this would be the first chance she would have to speak to him since the incident. They would certainly have to speak about something given that they would be stuck brewing together for hours.
You pick the worst possible times to make the worst mistakes. The witch lingered in the small corridor leading to the brewing lab. Truthfully, she was uncertain whether she preferred they address the elephant in the room or pretend it never happened.
Cognizant she was wasting time they could not afford, she forced herself into the small laboratory.
"Good," Snape grunted, standing from his stool. "We can finally get started."
"Hello to you, too," she grumbled.
The wizard paused in reaching for a small, silver cauldron and flicked his eyes to her.
Hermione shook her head. "Don't worry about it."
"I apologize. I have too many things to do and too little time and energy to do them."
"I get it." Hermione studied him closely, but he betrayed no further sign that anything out of the ordinary had transpired between them. You know he might have more energy if he didn't have to occlude around you.
Clearing his throat, Severus set the silver cauldron in place and lit a fire beneath it. "I need your full attention on this because tomorrow night you will be handling it alone."
"What!"
"I have a birthday party to attend tomorrow evening," he sneered.
"Oh, gods," she whispered.
"There's no need to fret. The tricky bits are done with; the nightly doses are straightforward."
Hermione grimaced. "I hadn't even considered that, actually. I was referring to Draco. You're sure he'll be alright?"
A puff of air escaped him. "That depends on one's definition of 'alright'."
She grimaced and rubbed her face. "And you? Will you be safe?"
"I'll be fine," Severus sputtered, "provided you start paying attention and cease touching your face."
Hermione jerked her hand down, banging it on the edge of the countertop. "Ouch. Sorry."
"The cauldron must be brought up to temperature empty before aliquoting in the daily dose from the main stock."
She jotted down the information in her notebook. "How much is that?"
Severus picked up a cast iron ladle. "Three of these will go directly into the hot cauldron. Do not…"
He pursed his lips and exhaled. "Try not to dribble any on yourself. If anything drips on the counter, it must be wiped up immediately."
As he caught himself before accidentally issuing another command, Hermione flashed him a tight smile of gratitude before hurriedly scribbling down the rest of his instructions.
Once the required amount was simmering in the cauldron, the pair sat on their stools watching it in odd silence. Eventually, Hermione sighed in such a way that the wizard flinched, knowing full well what she was about to say.
"About last night… I truly am sorry."
He kept his eyes on the potion. "Don't."
"I should have asked you first before –"
"No."
Hermione crossed her arms. "If things were reversed… If you had taken things beyond my comfort level without even asking permission, would you not apologize?"
His shoulders tensed. "That's not the same."
"Is it not? How is it any different?"
Severus flashed her a pointed look but otherwise refused to answer.
Because he still sees himself your captor. She lowered her eyes to her notebook before whispering, "We're supposed to be equals."
"What?" he looked up again from the potion.
Hermione leaned back on the stool and rubbed her hands on her jeans. "We're partners, are we not?"
"Yes," he drawled questioningly.
"We're both human?"
His brow furled. "As far as I am aware, though Poppy has suspicions."
She smirked in spite of her frustration. "Then we're both allowed to have feelings…and boundaries. And we're both going to make mistakes and unintentionally upset the other. I'm apologizing for having done that."
"Fine. Might we move on, then? There are more pressing issues, assuredly."
"Fine." Hermione took in a deep breath. "How worried are you?"
"I don't –"
"Be honest."
Severus huffed. "If my theory is correct, and I laid enough groundwork, the Malfoys will live to piss off the Dark Lord another day. If I'm wrong…Lupin will only have to choke down two doses this month, because you and I will both be dead before cake is served."
Hermione closed her eyes for a moment before slipping from her stool. She slid her arms around his shoulder and rested her cheek against his back. "I trust you."
The wizard swallowed in discomfort. "Is this what you call paying attention?"
She breathed in deeply. "Yes."
XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX
"Oh, yes, please," Tonks plopped down into an oversized beanbag the Room of Requirement had provided.
Hermione paused in her stretching. "Are you not joining me?"
"Between the task force and the Order, I've had very little opportunity to put my feet up and not exert myself."
"Then why did you come with me to train?"
"Because," Tonks explained, "you need to blow off steam, and I wanted to chat."
"But…"
"Go on and run." The witch lazily dangled her wand. "I can hex you from here just fine."
With a grumble, Hermione started on her laps, navigating the obstacles the Room produced and dodging the occasional spell sent her way. When one narrowly missed her left arm, she panted, "You might want to back off a bit… since I am the one brewing your boyfriend's dose tonight.
Tonks lifted her head. "You are? Solo? Where's Snape?"
"Malfoy Manor," Hermione responded, spinning to avoid a tree that shot up right in front of her. "Ff…Draco's…party."
"Oh, shit." The witch suddenly sat upright. "I completely forgot what day it was."
Hermione made it another lap before wheezing to a stop and collapsing onto a beanbag next to Tonks.
"How worried should we be?"
"I don't know. Severus didn't seem that concerned about it, but he shields so well that I have no idea how he truly feels."
"Mm, yes, you mentioned that." When Hermione glanced up at her, Tonks rested her arms on her knees. "I apologize for falling asleep on you yesterday. I did hear what you said. I just couldn't wake up enough to answer."
"Oh."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Grimacing, the teen hauled herself into more of a seated position. "I don't know."
"Did you speak with Snape about it?"
"We mostly agreed not to talk about it. Other things are more pressing."
Tonks frowned. "I suppose it might not have been the best time. What you said – do you mean he occludes during sex?"
Eyes fixed on the floor, Hermione nodded. "I didn't realize it until the other night, but I should have seen it. Because when he doesn't, he thinks about that night and then assumes he's hurting me or forcing me into something. He's not, but he still sees it that way."
With a deep sigh, Tonks laid back in her beanbag and stared at the enchanted ceiling for a long moment. "Do you communicate with him?"
"Yes! I – "
"During sex?"
"Well…what?"
Tonks propped herself up on an elbow. "During sex, do you tell him if you like something?"
Hermione swallowed uncomfortably. "I don't know. Not really. A few times, maybe?"
"Do you initiate things, or does he?"
"Me, usually. He doesn't like to because…"
"Because he thinks he's convincing you into it." When the girl nodded, Tonks laid back down. "Damn. And I thought Remus was difficult."
"That's certainly been my experience," Hermione quipped, eliciting a loud snort from the Auror. "Not that way!"
"I know that. I'd have to punch him in the bollocks if it was," Tonks snickered. "So, you usually start things but then…what? He takes over?"
"I suppose that's fair."
Tonks tapped her fingers on her stomach. "Apart from the other night, have you ever kept the lead?"
Hermione scratched her eyebrow. "A few times, maybe?"
"And how did he react to that?" At her narrowed eyes, the Auror cleared her throat. "I mean…uff, this is awkward, isn't it? When you dictated the encounter, did he freak out?"
"No."
"He enjoyed it?"
The younger witch frowned. "I don't know."
"You know, Hermione," she smirked.
Face flushed, Hermione reflected on those occasions. "He seemed to."
"Good. That's good." Tonks turned on her side. "Perhaps you could try being more vocal when you're together? If you're communicating with him in the moment what you want, what you're enjoying, what you don't like… I would think he'd be less likely to misinterpret things."
The girl looked skeptical.
"It seems awkward, yes, and it will be the first time you try. But I think it'll come easier than you expect." Tonks waggled her eyebrows. "As may one or both of you."
"Gods!" Hermione covered her face.
Tonks cackled loudly. "What? No sex jokes from McGonagall?"
"No!"
Laughing, the Auror pulled herself up face Hermione. "Look, I know there's a war and all, life and death, et cetera, but this is important, too. And if there are any hints you want me to throw Snape's way, I rather enjoy unnerving the piss out of him."
XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX
Despite the nervous cramping of his stomach, Severus forced himself to eat the generous portion of roast duck on his plate and sip his wine. Any chance he had of getting the Malfoys through the night more or less unscathed rested on his ability to blend in with many of his compatriots and remain unaffected by the evening's events. He could not afford to let any of his anxiety show, especially since he had already testified on Draco's behalf. He could not doubt the boy now.
Given the uncertainty looming overhead, Snape was simultaneously grateful and terrified when the Dark Lord, after dabbing his mouth with his napkin, sat back in his chair.
"Delightful as always, Lady Malfoy," Voldemort praised. "A pity you could not bring yourself to enjoy it with us."
Narcissa raised her eyes from her untouched plate and attempted a demure smile. "I am happy to please you, my Lord."
"Of that, I have no doubt," he retorted. "Whether or not you succeed in that endeavour is the question of the evening, is it not?"
Smugly, Voldemort scanned the length of the table. Observing that his guests were expectantly awaiting his announcement, he clapped his hands. "Very well! Let us adjourn to the drawing room and continue the festivities. It is time, I believe, to welcome a boy to manhood."
Chairs scraped as everyone stood and waited for the dark wizard to lead them out of the dining room.
"Well, then," Voldemort grinned at Narcissa and swept his arm toward the door. "I insist… ladies first."
Visibly shaking, Narcissa responded to his instruction with a small curtsey. Holding her chin high, she preceded her eager sister and the rest of the dinner party into the large drawing room.
Upon claiming his ornate chair, Voldemort cleared his throat. "Greyback, fetch us our guest of honor."
On the Dark Lord's right, Severus managed to remain impassive as the tyrant ordered Narcissa to serve everyone more wine. His eyes briefly met those of Lucius, whose determined stare was almost certainly a plea for assistance. With a small nod, Snape turned to accept a glass from the pale witch. Her eyes bore into his a moment longer than required, and he subtly raised his glass to her in response.
Voldemort, mistaking the meaning behind the salute, chuckled. Once everyone had been served, he too raised his wine goblet. "A brief toast to you, Lady Malfoy – ever the consummate hostess."
Quiet laughter followed as nearly everyone joined in the toast. Lucius had a white-knuckled grip on his glass, while Narcissa retreated to her position at the Dark Lord's left.
The opening of the door silenced all conversation, and everyone turned to watch the werewolf drag in the prisoner. Having been unexpectedly propelled forward, Draco stumbled over their feet. He caught the edge of the carpet at an unfortunate angle and landed hard on his hands and knees.
"Ah, that famed Malfoy grace," Voldemort quipped, rising from his chair. "You must be so proud, Lucius."
Ignoring the comment, Lucius focused solely on his son.
"Get up, boy," Greyback snarled, grabbing Draco by the armpit and heaving him to his feet.
Voldemort dismissed the werewolf with a cold snap of his hands, then slowly circled the young wizard. "One might expect you put in some effort in your appearance for your own party."
The disheveled blond wizard raised his chin. "I apologize, my Lord."
The Dark Lord snorted disdainfully. "We've waited long enough, boy. Let us discover in which manner we shall celebrate your majority."
While his parents and Snape held their breath, Draco unbuttoned and rolled up his left cuff. He held his head high even as the despot snatched his wrist and tugged him forward to scrutinize the Dark Mark.
"The Mark has settled," Voldemort declared.
Thank the fucking gods. Severus exhaled slowly and leaned into his chair as he watched the Dark Lord employ Legilimency to verify the young wizard's loyalty. Though the experience did not elicit the same crippling guilt he had felt when witnessing the assaults on Hermione's mind, in this situation he was blind to which memories the Dark Lord was ripping open. There would be little to no warning should he need to abandon the Malfoys and flee for his life.
Eventually, Voldemort released Draco. "You wish to serve me, do you? To swear fealty to me?"
"I do, my Lord," Draco wheezed. "I would willingly enter your service should you permit me to do so."
"And why should I want you in my service, boy, after you failed so spectacularly at the tasks set for you?" the Dark Lord challenged. "Had it not been for Severus and his pet, there would have been no assault on Hogwarts, and Albus Dumbledore would still be breathing down our necks! So, answer me – what use are you to me?"
As the young wizard floundered for a response, Snape cleared his throat. "My Lord? May I interject?"
Voldemort stared down at Draco before slowly swinging his gaze to the spy. "Of course, Severus. You know I have always valued your opinion."
And I'm the Queen of England. The Potions Master set aside his wine and stood from his seat. "I do not discount that the boy was an utter disappointment in the heat of the moment. Though he could have had inordinate glory and your favor in his grasp, he lacked the strength to act. He is weak, my Lord… but I do not believe he is without potential."
Voldemort narrowed his eyes. "Is that so?"
"Draco has always been at the top of his class and has shown remarkable skill and poise in his wandwork. On that particular evening, my Lord, he gained the upper hand and disarmed Dumbledore before my arrival. He merely balked at casting the Killing Curse, having had no practice with Unforgiveables." Severus scrutinized the tyrant's countenance before continuing, "I know many of us have had moments of weakness –"
Bellatrix giggled cruelly.
"Some of us more than others," he continued, "But you have always been magnanimous, my Lord, taking it upon yourself to provide instruction where it was lacking, to encourage our improvement. In my experience, my Lord, you have never allowed the sins of the father to tarnish your view of the son. It is not the boy's fault that his father could not properly train him."
Lucius swallowed heavily as he looked to his son.
"What, and you think you could do a better job?" Bellatrix jeered. "A Muggle-loving half-breed?"
"Silence!" Voldemort snarled, raising a hand in her direction. "Do you forget his remarkable progress with the Mudblood, Bella? Had Albus Dumbledore been at the end of her wand, I doubt she would have blinked."
"I daresay not," Severus replied honestly.
Red eyes pierced through him. "You are offering to take the whelp under your wing?"
"I am, my Lord. I believe he could be of use to you with proper shaping. That, of course, would require that his mental status remain… relatively stable." Snape let his eyes drift toward Bellatrix. "I cannot work with a lunatic."
"I see." Voldemort narrowed his gaze at Draco before pivoting to face the crowd. "Severus speaks wisely – I shall not fail to provide instruction or correction where it is required. Nor shall I fail to provide entertainment where it has been promised. And tonight, I shall see to all three. Bella?"
Fuck. Locking down his shields, Severus knew he had reached the limit of the Dark Lord's leniency. He inched closer to Draco, willing the boy not to act rashly. By his estimation, the Malfoys were more worth more alive than dead, though it was not guaranteed the sociopath had enough critical reasoning left to see the same.
With an exaggerated curtsy to her master, Bellatrix flounced across to stand in front of her youngest sister. "Kneel."
Icy fire burned in Narcissa's gaze as she glared down into her sister's face. Unconcerned with having the disadvantage in height, Bellatrix tilted her head and smiled coyly like a cat preparing to pounce on its prey.
Damn it, Narcissa. Now is not the time to challenge her. Without drawing attention, Severus grabbed Draco's arm and whispered, "Call out to her."
Flicking his eyes to his mentor, Draco tried to speak without warbling. "Mother."
Though she did not drop her sister's gaze, Narcissa did drop to her knees, albeit hesitantly, after hearing her son's soft plea.
"You always were an obedient little witch, weren't you, Cissy?" Bellatrix cooed, cupping her sister's cheek. Grinning maliciously, she grabbed a handful of blonde hair and yanked her sister's head to the side.
Draco flinched in response, and Severus squeezed his arm in warning.
"Snape thinks it's the father's duty to train his son, but you're just as much to blame, aren't you?" Bella sneered in her sister's face. "You made the boy soft. Spoiling him, doting upon him. You've turned him into a bloody lap dog, not a man."
Blinking back tears, Narcissa whimpered, "Bella, please."
"Please?" the witch laughed shrilly. "Begging for mercy, already?
"Pitiful, spineless bitch." Bellatrix forcefully threw her sister to the ground before tipsily circling her. "Lounging around like royalty while those of us who were truly devoted wasted away in Azkaban…"
As the spectacle unfolded, Severus watched Lucius for any sign that the pureblood may try to intervene.
"…Fourteen years, I suffered for our Lord, while you did nothing but spread your legs in exchange for pretty gowns and sparkly gems."
"Stop it," Narcissa hissed up at her sister.
"Stop?" Bellatrix mocked. "Oh no, darling Cissy - we haven't even started yet. After that life of luxury, you're about to learn a lesson in suffering."
"No!" Draco gasped.
Voldemort waved dismissively. "Severus, control him."
Growling, Snape reclaimed his hold on the boy and pulled him against his chest. As Bellatrix drew her wand, he calmly murmured in Draco's ear. "She will live. Remember that she will live. If you interfere, she will not."
With a flick of her wrist, Bellatrix sliced open the back of Narcissa's gown.
"Keep it together, Draco," Severus purred. "For her. Be strong."
Draco whimpered in the back of his throat and tightened his hands into fists.
Bellatrix ripped apart the sides of Narcissa's gown and undergarments, then ran her hand down the creamy expanse of her sister's back. "Barely a blemish. Lucius has spoiled you, hasn't he? Just like Daddy used to do, catering to your every whim. Precious baby Narcissa… his little self-loving flower."
"Just get on with it, Bella," Narcissa ground out.
"Ooh, now who's putting on a brave face? Sadly, I won't have the pleasure of ruining that perfect skin of yours. Perhaps another time."
"Lucius." Voldemort stepped past the two witches. "It seems that for once, Severus and Bellatrix are in agreement. Such a rarity; I cannot dismiss it. Perhaps you might wish to address concerns?"
The pureblood silently observed his wife before meeting his master's red gaze. When the Dark Lord held out a bullwhip, he reared back in horror.
"No?" Voldemort cocked his head and let his eyes drift to the other side of the room. "Then perhaps your son might wish to –"
"No!" Lucius burst forward and seized the handle of the whip.
Severus quietly cautioned their son. "She will live, Draco. She will survive this."
Settling back into his chair, Voldemort smiled in anticipation. "I think one lash for every year you ruined the boy, don't you?"
XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX
As the timing charm wound down, Hermione stood from her stool and stretched to relieve some of the tension from her lower back. Squeezing in a training session before babysitting a potion for three solid hours may not have been the best decision, but it had helped to alleviate some of her anxiety.
Extinguishing the flames, the witch decanted the cauldron's contents into the large metal goblet and was relieved to see the faint blue smoke spilling over its edge. Severus had warned her that too much smoke or the absence of it was indicative of a dose either too toxic or largely ineffective, respectively.
As she carried the goblet down the corridor, Hermione wished she could tell Severus about her success, It would have to wait, however, since Severus undoubtedly had hours left to go at the Manor. The Dark Lord seemed to care very little about his followers being well-rested.
Then again, the Order cannot crow too loudly. Hermione thought of Tonks spending the day securing the castle only to spend her nights on the Aurory task force along someone who was betraying them to the Dark Lord. Do they suspect Tonks belongs to the Order? Would they harm her if given the chance? What's to stop them from feigning another Alert, using as an opportunity to murder her, pin the blame on Severus, and escape suspicion?
"Hermione?" Remus asked upon opening his door. "Are you alright?"
Hermione blinked at him and slowly released the breath she had been holding. "Sorry… I just…"
He ushered her inside. "Did something happen? Are you in pain?"
"What? No, I'm fine. I just had a horrible thought come to mind." At his concerned expression, she asked, "Has Tonks mentioned if they have an idea who the mole may be?"
Remus frowned as he took the smoking goblet from her. "So far they have not found anything that points to any individual over the others."
"Gods, what if it isn't just one person?"
"Unfortunately, it may not be."
"She's being careful, isn't she?"
He sighed. "She trusts no one in the Aurory right now – outside of Kingsley, of course – regardless of their past camaraderie. Not that there's been much of it. I know it's taxing her greatly to maintain such vigilance at all times, but I also know she can handle it. At least she seems to handle the pressure far better than I do waiting for her return."
Hermione nodded slowly, feeling the first pang of sympathy for him in a long time. She knew exactly how he felt.
"Speaking of Dora," Remus rubbed his thumb along the goblet's stem. "She's made me realize how poor a job I did of listening to you. I never meant to hurt you, Hermione, and I am sorry if I did. I was angry with Snape on your behalf, and –"
"I asked you not to be," she interrupted, folding her arms. "I told you quite plainly how I felt about what happened to me, about my relationship with Severus, and you ignored me."
"I'm sorry."
"Regardless of what you, or Severus, or the Dark Lord thinks, I am still my own person, and my thoughts and my feelings are mine. He may have the power to control what I do or say, but he has never done so except when it was necessary to keep me alive. And even then, it did not change what I thought or how I felt."
Remus nodded in recognition. "I am relieved to hear that."
Well, as long as you're relieved. Hermione dropped her hand to her side. "Are you going to drink your potion before it expires, or not?"
The wizard snorted. "Are you sure he isn't in your head now?"
At her unamused glare, he grudgingly raised the potion to his lips. When he finally finished it several minutes later, Hermione took the empty goblet from him but froze when his face lost all color.
"Remus?"
Swaying, he had to steady himself on the back of the sofa.
Hermione dropped the goblet onto the end table and touched his arm. "Does this happen normally?"
Remus shook his head; the action worsening his vertigo.
"Oh god, oh god." Panic raced through her system as she guided him to sit on the cushion. Kneeling in front of him, she pulled her wand.
"I think I just need to lie down," he murmured, closing his eyes. He slowly tipped over on the sofa and pulled the sleeve of an errant jumper over his eyes. "It's alright, Hermione."
"No, it isn't." She furiously cast a diagnostic charm. "I screwed something up!"
"The feeling is already passing."
"You're certain?"
"Yes. The room is no longer spinning like it was."
"It isn't just because you're lying down?" Hermione pressed, though she did notice his vitals were steadily improving.
"It isn't just because I'm lying down." After a few minutes, Remus sat upright and rubbed his face. "Don't worry, Hermione. I'm not dying."
She sank back on her heels. "Gods, I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault."
"I don't know what happened. I followed his instructions; the smoke was right, the color was right…"
Remus thinned his lips. "Perhaps he left something out of the instructions? Retaliation has always been his forte."
Glowering, Hermione got to her feet. "Severus wouldn't do that."
"I think you overestimate how much he cares for my well-being."
"Hardly," she countered. "I just know how much he cares for his reputation as a potioneer."
Remus snorted. "Fair enough."
"Besides which, I think Severus has probably been poisoned more times while brewing this stupid potion than you have ingesting it." While he reflected on the comment, Hermione confirmed his improved status with another diagnostic charm. Satisfied he was not at Death's door, she collected the goblet and made for the door. "Good night, Remus. If you feel worse, let Poppy know."
XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX
By the time the seventeenth strike fell, and Narcissa's final scream died away, many in the audience looked distinctly uncomfortable. Snape was the only thing keeping Draco upright. Lucius dropped the whip to the floor and collapsed onto his knees. His haunted gaze followed the blood dripping down his wife's back as it heaved with her soft sobs.
Seemingly oblivious to the undercurrents in the room, Voldemort clapped as he slipped out of his chair. "Bravo, Lucius. Perhaps if you had demonstrated such control without my guidance, we could have avoided this lesson."
The pureblood wizard remained silent, though his jaw tensed as Nagini slithered about Narcissa, tasting the air in curiosity.
The Dark Lord crouched down beside him. "Do you acknowledge responsibility for the boy's –"
"Yes!" Lucius croaked. "My Lord, yes – it is my fault. Solely my fault."
"And Severus?"
"Will be a much better teacher than I have been. He can… he can have my son." He turned his head to meet his master's blood red gaze. "Please, my Lord… let him take my son."
"Very well, then." Voldemort stood and spun to address his spy, who had managed to get Draco back under regulation. "Severus, my faithful son… are you still willing to take this sniveling child?"
"I am, my Lord."
"Wonderful. Prepare your new apprentice as well as you have that darling girl of yours, and I shall extend you every privilege that your brother Lucius has taken for granted these many years."
Snape ducked his head. "Thank you, my Lord."
Voldemort looked back to where the elder Malfoys remained on the floor, staring into each other's eyes. A horrid grin spread across his face as he returned his attention to Severus. "Perhaps your lessons ought to begin this evening."
"My Lord?"
"Take the boy upstairs with you and ensure he sees how the Master of the Manor ought to behave… instead of sniveling about in the carpet."
Stomach lurching with dread, Severus raised an eyebrow.
Voldemort gestured at Narcissa. "A wife is a privilege, is it not?"
At the pronouncement, Lucius closed his eyes and hung his head.
"Indeed," Snape murmured. His hesitation to act had only brought Hermione greater pain and suffering; he could not make that mistake again. Stepping past Lucius – who raised no protest – Severus approached Narcissa's prone form. Noting the wand peeking out from Bellatrix's hand, he knew instinctively she would Finite any levitation charm he used to gently move the injured witch. Though it was possible she could hex him to achieve the same effect, he doubted she would dare do so in front of the Dark Lord.
Narcissa cried out when he heaved her over his shoulder, and her fingers clutched his robes tightly as he carried her out of the drawing room. Upon reaching the landing of the staircase, she lifted her head enough to see her son and hoarsely whispered, "I love you."
"Mum—" Draco began.
"Shh," she cautioned. "Third door, on the left."
Severus followed her directions to her quarters, then gently placed her on her stomach upon the bed. "Do you have any medical supplies in here?"
"Lavatory closet. The small chest."
"Draco, fetch it." As the young wizard hustled, Severus perched on the edge of the bed and leaned down to whisper, "Is it safe here?"
Narcissa nodded against her pillow. "I've warded it against any listening or observation spells."
"And no one's noticed the change?"
Her lip quirked upward. "It wasn't a change. I warded them the day after I wed."
He gawped at her as Draco emerged with the Healer's kit. "Truly?"
"What I do or say in my private quarters is no one's business, but my own," she explained. "The Manor supports its Mistress in the Mistress's chambers."
While Snape started cleaning away the blood, Draco collapsed onto his knees beside the bed. "I'm so sorry, Mum."
"Don't apologize, Draco." Her hand trembled as she caressed his face. "You have no reason to."
"But it's my fault! If I had been strong enough to –"
"No, darling," Narcissa tucked hair behind his ear. "We are both alive because of your strength. I am proud of you, Draco, and so very happy to see you."
Sniffling, Draco wrapped his hand about hers and leaned into her touch. When she hissed a moment later, he raised his head to glare at Snape. "You're hurting her!"
Severus glanced up from applying dittany to her injuries.
"Darling, look at me." Narcissa tugged on her son's hand until he did so. "Severus is only helping me. He has to hurt to help, but I'll be alright. I promise."
Severus finished tending her wounds and returned the supplies to her kit. He glanced slowly about the spacious suite before noticing that Narcissa was peering over her shoulder at him.
"This is where you taught him, then?"
She nodded. "I love Lucius, but he was safer not knowing."
The spy grimaced before changing the subject. "I've done what I can. It may still scar."
"Thank you."
He dipped his head to study the carpet.
"Severus."
Reluctantly, he met her gaze again.
"He will want to see it."
Draco's head snapped up. "See what?"
"Severus," Narcissa swallowed as the man lurched to his feet. "Severus, you'll have to do it."
"Do what?" Draco hissed.
Snape paced a minute before answering, "Apparently, the Dark Lord expects that I will eventually usurp your father's claims… including your mother."
"No." The boy's eyes widened. "No! Lie to him! I know you can!"
The spy winced. "And if he chooses to see it through you, Draco? Can you manage to fabricate a believable memory of that in the next hour?"
Draco sank back on his heels, frantically contemplating the question.
With a sigh, Narcissa stiffly pushed herself into a seated position. "Draco, darling, I'm sorry this has to be. Even if you could manage it, I cannot. If he interrogates me, I can hide parts of memories, but I cannot create them. It has to happen."
Severus ran a hand over his face. "Your marriage vows, Narcissa – what are the consequences?"
The witch flexed her hand. "Our rings… they'll burn if I jeopardize the line."
"To what extent?"
"Lucius's, just enough to alert. Mine, enough to leave permanent reminder of my betrayal," she clarified. "Bella knows that."
"Fuck." Snape tugged at his hair. "He won't even have to look to know."
"But he may still," she struck the mattress with her hand. "It has to be believable, Severus. You have to give me enough memory so I might still convince him. And Draco…"
Her voice cracked as she looked to her son. "I abhor the thought of you having to witness this, but I would rather that than force you to fabricate such an event."
"Mother, please –"
"Enough, Draco." Narcissa grimaced as she got to her feet. "The more time we waste debating, the more likely we'll be summoned back downstairs to answer for our inaction."
Arms crossed, Severus watched the boy deflate onto the settee. His attention was diverted, however, by a warm hand on his arm.
"Severus, please," Narcissa whispered. "You need to dig down and harness whatever rage will get you through, because I need you to do this."
After staring into her icy gaze for a moment, he dropped his head. "What is it you propose?"
She squeezed his arm in gratitude before stepping back and worrying her ring. "He wants you to teach Draco to assert dominance. Obviously, he believes I've exerted too much influence over Lucius. You will not allow me to do so again. Further – you saved my son. I must repay you for that kindness; I shall have to surrender to your control."
Trying to keep his supper down and thoughts of Hermione out of his head, Severus glared at the floor. Thankfully, Narcissa recognized that silence was what he needed to come to terms with what was required. Unable to bring himself to look at Draco, he turned around before unfastening his outer robes.
Relieved, Narcissa briefly closed her eyes and grabbed hold of a wingback chair. She cast an apologetic glance at her son, who determinedly stared at the far wall, then let out a steadying breath and lowered herself onto her knees.
XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX
Without bothering to catch his breath, Severus lurched off the bed. He summoned the satin robe he could see hanging in the lavatory and draped it over the witch's backside. Narcissa forced herself to sit up and properly donned her robe, grateful for the coolness of the charmed satin against her aching body and healing skin.
After doing up his trousers, Snape sheepishly summoned a bottle of mouth cleanser, which she accepted with a muffled word of gratitude. As he retreated to the armchair, the witch tied the sash about her waist, then made her way across the room to where her son lay curled up on the settee.
Gingerly, she sat beside Draco and slipped her arms about his shoulders, tucking his head beneath her chin. "Darling, I am so so very sorry. But you are alive, and I am alive, and that's all that matters."
Whimpering, Draco buried his face into her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Mum."
Narcissa stroked his head. "I will do anything to keep you safe, Draco. As will your father."
When he grumbled and began to pull away, she held fast. "No, listen to me. Your father loves you. I love you. We're meant to protect you, and in that regard they're right – we did fail you. But we will do everything we can to stand between you and them, and we trust Severus to help us."
Draco snarled toward the man sulking in the chair before the fire.
With a soft sigh, his mother reclaimed his attention. "Please listen, Draco. Your father and I knew this was likely – not that Severus would be the one, of course – but they've hinted many times that I would be taken from your father. I count myself lucky that Severus is the man I was given to, and that we were given privacy and time to tend to my wounds is something for which I am immeasurably grateful. It would not have happened this way with anyone else downstairs. Please tell me you understand this."
Tears welled in his eyes. "Run away, Mum. Please! Just run away."
Narcissa gave him a sympathetic smile. "I can't, sweetheart. Not without you."
"I'll go!"
"Darling, you bear his Mark. He will find you."
Draco rubbed at his face in frustration. "But you don't! You can go. Summon that stupid elf and go!"
"No." She gripped his chin and stared forcefully into his eyes. "Look at me. You are my son, and I will protect you at any cost. I will not leave you here alone to face him. I will not flee and jeopardize your safety, or your father's, even further. Do not make the mistake my sister has by thinking me a spineless coward. I will stay here in my home and do everything in my power to ensure that I see her and her disgusting Lord's destruction before I see that of my family."
As his tears overwhelmed him, Narcissa clutched her son to her chest. She rocked him slightly, whispering assurances in his ear while he wept.
Wishing he could crawl in a hole, Severus averted his eyes to the fire. It was obvious that the Dark Lord was not thinking clearly – encouraging animosity between the Malfoys and Snape would not strengthen the Inner Circle. Whether it was due to arrogance in the wake of Dumbledore's demise or the Darkness eating away at his reasoning was anyone's guess, but it was perhaps beneficial to the Order to know the Dark Lord was chipping away at his own followers' loyalty.
What will not help the Order is your inability to keep control. Snape dropped his head and tugged at his hair. He had had to dig deep to find the animosity of a poor halfblood who fought for any scrap of recognition for a wealthy, entitled aristocrat who had everything handed to him. He refused to direct his anger at Narcissa – he regretted having done so with Hermione – and focused it instead on Lucius. Things had only devolved from there. His shields had slipped not once but twice, necessitating quiet reprimands from Narcissa to get him back on task.
Gods, if that had happened in front of the Dark Lord… He bit his lip nearly hard enough to draw blood. The more Draco had to hide in his current state, the more risk there was of it being found. If he had just sentenced them all to death anyway, he could have spared the time and trouble by telling the Dark Lord to go fuck himself with a pitchfork.
A soft rustle drew his attention, and he raised his head to see Narcissa standing before him.
"Thank you."
Snape grimaced and shook his head.
The witch lightly touched his shoulder. "I mean it, Severus. You and I both know he did not send us upstairs to lessen my discomfort; he only did so as a favor to you."
"I didn't want this," he murmured.
Her sorrowful blue eyes met his. "I know."
"I'm sorry."
Narcissa shook her head. She briefly glanced over her shoulder at Draco, then lowered her voice. "However many times he expects this of you – or if ever there may be something you yourself desire – know that the only thing I will ask of you in return is the continued protection of my son."
"I will do the best I can," Severus promised, noting the odd way she was carrying her left hand. "How bad?"
With a pinched expression, the witch raised her hand to show the angrily inflamed flesh surrounding the platinum band. "I'll need to soak it in Murtlap before I attempt moving the ring to apply salve."
"I can –"
"No, I can see to this one myself. You need to prepare yourself," she instructed before returning to the settee. "Draco, darling – are you ready?"
Draco grunted in the affirmative.
Narcissa smoothed his hair. "Do you want Severus to test you?"
"No," he snapped. "I'm fine."
"Alright." His mother embraced him once more. "Whatever happens, Draco, I love you, I am proud of you, and I will fight with every fiber of my being to ensure you can be happy, safe, and free again. You're going to go with Severus, but I will see you again."
"Promise?"
"Promise," she whispered before kissing his forehead. Taking his hand, she stood and led him back to Snape. "You'd better go before he grows impatient."
XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX
Stepping off the staircase, Severus suddenly found himself slammed against the wall with an angry wizard snarling in his face. "Lucius, I did not intend –"
"Did you heal her?" Lucius hissed.
Snape swallowed in contemplation; he could not trust the man's mental security as he could the other members of the Malfoy family. "I prefer my witch cry out in pleasure, not pain."
"Did she…"
Severus raised an eyebrow. "I assure you she did."
Grey eyes scrutinized him before softening in understanding. "Is she alright?"
"Do you think she would admit otherwise?"
Lucius let out a puff of air and shook his head. He briefly closed his eyes in pain before fisting his hand in Snape's robes. "Take care of them."
"I intend to take care of all my possessions."
The pureblood relaxed his grip. "Then you have my gratitude."
"Is something the matter, Lucy?" Bellatrix called out from the drawing room doorway.
As she laughed at her own joke, Lucius stiffened and released Snape's robes. "Of course not, Bella. Merely telling Severus to make himself at home."
"I believe the Dark Lord already did that, did he not?" Bella sneered, draping herself around Draco. "Come along, Lucy. You wouldn't want to keep him waiting any longer; he might give the half-breed all of your pretentious clothing next."
Noticing how Malfoy's wand hand flexed, Severus snagged him by the collar and threw him against the wall. Pressing his arm lightly against his throat, he quietly warned, "Keep your wits, Lucius. She's destined for a fall."
"Now, now boys – is a silly little cunt really worth all this trouble?" Bellatrix sang.
"I. Want. Her. Head," Lucius seethed.
Severus heaved a sigh. "Join the bloody queue. But we have to do it right."
"Before or after she murders my wife?"
"If you act rashly, it's guaranteed."
Huffing, Lucius shoved out from under his hold and stormed past his son and Bellatrix into the drawing room. Severus adjusted his robes before moving toward the pair.
Releasing her nephew, Bellatrix sidled up to Snape and slipped her arm about his. "Did my frigid little sister satisfy you, or are you still hungering for that skanky mudblood of yours, hmm?"
Severus scowled and snapped his fingers at Draco to follow his father into the drawing room. "Jealous, Bella?"
"Ha! Only the werewolf would be a lesser degradation," she taunted. "It must be awfully difficult stealing the whore away from Potter just to bob on your cock for a spell. How terribly frustrating!"
As they crossed the threshold, she hissed, "You may have all the glory now, but I wouldn't get too comfortable in Lucius's life if I were you."
"Severus," Voldemort greeted as Bellatrix flounced to his side. "Did you enjoy yourself, my son?"
Snape ceased glaring at the witch and donned a smirk. "Immensely, my Lord. I thank you for your generosity."
"Perhaps young Draco might be gracious enough to show me what he's learned?" The Dark Lord waited for no response, immediately tearing into the boy's mind. Before long, he chuckled darkly and cast Draco aside. "Well, if it doesn't appear that Mummy is enjoying a new Daddy. You see, Lucius, I have always told you that a firm hand brings about the best results."
Lucius bowed his head. "I see, my Lord."
"Now, Draco. In the spirit of generosity, I have one further gift for you."
What the fucking fuck now. Severus pursed his lips, while Lucius's head snapped up in fear. Draco, however, remained stoic as Voldemort produced a wand from his robes.
"You would be of no use to me without this," the tyrant smiled.
"Thank you, my Lord," Draco accepted the gift.
Snape strode forward, noting the wand appeared to be the same one confiscated from Draco before his imprisonment. "What of the tracking charm, my Lord?"
"Never fear, Severus," Voldemort replied. "Your brother Yaxley has assured me it has been taken care of as well. Is that not so, Yaxley?"
The man in question raised his wine glass in response.
"Nothing to worry about."
Fat fucking chance.
XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX
Minerva sat silently at her desk, staring at the low flames dancing in the fireplace across the room. Her teacup and plate of biscuits sat neglected beside her, and she had long ago given up the pretense of working. Though she had little positive experiences with the Malfoys to draw on, her gut seemed to think she could trust them as allies. Her head, however, worried that should Draco not pass Riddle's test, Narcissa may sacrifice Severus to save her son.
Despite the devastating blow that would be to the Order and to her personally, Minerva could not wholly hold it against the witch.
The ornate clock over her right shoulder chimed twice.
She should go to bed; their plans to sweep and secure the castle required her to be well-rested come daylight. Yet, some foreboding feeling held her in place. She was uncertain if Severus intended to return to the castle yet this evening – er, morning – or if he would be expected to remain at the Manor.
If he did choose to return, the newly constructed wards would allow him as a member of the Council to Apparate into a small antechamber off the Head Office most recently used for storage. She could then verify for herself whether he was alright.
As her eyes began to droop, Minerva rubbed her face. While in the middle of questioning how much longer she should wait, an audible pop sounded from the antechamber. Immediately awake, the witch scrambled out from behind her desk to meet the spy as he slipped into the office.
"Severus, I was worried…" She faltered at seeing his troubled countenance. "Severus, what is it? What happened to Draco?"
Snape shifted nervously. "He's… resting. At the cabin."
"Alone?"
"I gave him Dreamless Sleep."
Minerva frowned. "Severus, what happened? Is there to be an attack? Are you in danger?"
Noticing that Dumbledore's portrait was peeking out of one eye, Severus swallowed and shook his head.
"Then what is it?"
"I just… I needed…"
Minerva followed his gaze to the portrait gallery. With a deep breath, she placed a hand on his elbow. "Come. Let us go where there's a spot more privacy."
Steering him into the personal quarters, she sat him down upon the sofa. "Is this an instance for tea, or for booze?"
Severus grimaced and closed his eyes.
"I'll fetch the booze, then."
"No." He caught her arm, then released her just as quickly. "Please, just… listen."
"Alright." Minerva settled into the armchair and cleared her throat. "I'm listening."
Severus opened his mouth to speak, then closed it uncertain of how to begin. At her encouraging nod, he froze entirely. He had no magical compulsion this time to remain quiet; he just could not get the words to move past his lips. In frustration, he tugged on his hair. McGonagall was the Head of the Order; she needed to know, yet he was too ashamed, too cowardly to confess it.
With a groan, he stood from the sofa and strode for the door.
"Severus? Where are you going?"
"I'll be right back." The Slytherin ducked back down to the office. Ignoring the whispering portraits, he tugged the Pensieve free from its cabinet and hauled it back up the stairs to set upon the coffee table.
Minerva eyed him in concern. "Severus, you do not need to –"
"I do." Snape heaved a breath before closing his eyes and placing his wand at his temple. Unlike with the Dark Lord, he would hide nothing from the Headmistress. Every last moment of the evening – from arriving to dinner til tucking Draco somewhat unwillingly into bed – he extracted and plopped into the shimmering bowl.
When he stepped away, Minerva furrowed her brow. "Are you not entering with me?"
"No."
The witch studied his stiff posture. "We will discuss it after?"
Fixing his eyes over her head, the tall wizard nodded.
Minerva, though not entirely satisfied by his response, hesitantly approached the bowl and lowered her face to the cool liquid.