Dread

When the best day of your life becomes your worst

TW: This chapter deals with a serious medical issue of a main character, with fear and suspense surrounding the character's fate. See Endnotes for a more detailed summary.

Nathan's eyes were riveted on the sight before him. He couldn't tear himself away from the perfection that was the scene of his beautiful wife cradling the tiny bundle in her arms. The infant's rosebud lips, the impossibly dark eyelashes, all framed by the darkest hair he had ever seen on such a young one. He couldn't believe how blessed he was to be given this precious soul in his life. "She's perfect," Nathan whispered.

"I can't argue with that," Elizabeth responded. The quiet comment was enough to rustle the baby, and she began to fuss softly. Elizabeth responded innately, and started bouncing and shushing.

"Do you need a break?" Nathan asked, reaching for the bundle.

"No, she's just fine," Elizabeth murmured.

Nathan dropped to the bed to cradle both his wife and daughter, awed that it had only been an hour that he had known the infant, but she held such a huge part of his heart. He couldn't believe what he may have done to deserve this, a growing family to care for and protect.

"You should rest. Allie will be bringing Jack back from daycare soon, and I don't want you to get overly tired," Nathan spoke quietly, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from the baby.

Elizabeth sighed in contentment. "Just a few more minutes. I can't believe how beautiful she is."

"Just like her mother."

Ten minutes later, the parents were interrupted from their admiration of their newest child by the opening of the front door by the older children and Jack's voice calling out, "are you ready yet?"

They chuckled, and Nathan moved to grab the baby. "You rest. I'll introduce them," Nathan said.

Elizabeth tried to argue, but was cut off by a yawn. "I suppose I could sleep," she mumbled, already halfway there with nothing to pull her focus. Nathan leaned down to kiss her forehead, and softly tread out of the room.

"Dad?" Allie called out. Nathan carefully descended the stairs, attention split between the infant and his careful steps.

"Is that the baby?" Jack asked in an exaggerated whisper.

"Yes, come sit." Nathan took a seat in the middle of the couch, and Jack scrambled so close he was nearly in Nathan's lap. Allie sat nearly as close on the other side, peeing into the bundle of blankets.

"It's adorable. Is it a boy or a girl? Have you given the baby a name yet?" Allie asked in a soft voice.

"It's a girl. Allie, Jack, meet your baby sister, Catherine Rosemary Grant." They cooed over the name and the baby, both the newest fans of the cutest baby in Hope Valley.

"Would you like to hold her?" Nathan asked Allie.

"Can I hold her?" Jack asked quickly before Allie could answer.

Nathan paused to carefully consider how to answer. "Well, you have to be very careful with her. Why don't you watch Allie hold her for a little while, then you can have a turn."

"Ok," Jack responded with resignation.

Nathan gingerly passed his infant daughter into his nearly grown daughter's arms. His heart squeezed in gratitude and amazement to see these two beautiful girls together.

"Hi Catherine. I'm Allie. You are the cutest baby in the world," she said, a slight tremor to her voice.

Jack climbed onto Nathan's lap so he could be closer to his baby sister. "Did you hold me gently too Dad?" Jack asked.

Nathan thought back to the first time he held baby Jack, back on his christening day. "You were a little bigger when I first held you, but yes, I made sure you were safe and protected."

Allie couldn't tear her eyes away from baby Catherine, and Jack stroked her cheeks. Catherine blinked slowly. "She's awake!" Jack announced in a full voice. Her face scrunched and a small cry escaped.

"Oh no! I'm sorry baby Catherine," Jack murmured.

In the instincts of womanhood, Allie began to softly bounce the baby. The cry disappeared as quickly as it appeared, and Catherine closed her eyes once again.

After a few minutes, Jack's impatience broke the silence. "Is it my turn yet Allie?" he asked.

With great reluctance, she carefully passed the baby over to Jack with Nathan's help. He kept a hand under Catherine's head, making sure Jack didn't drop her suddenly in childish distraction.

"Is Mom doing well?" Allie asked.

"She needed a rest. She's upstairs still," Nathan said.

A knock sounded at the door. Allie stood slowly, the only one not occupied by the baby.

"Hello Allie!" Rosemary greeted. She peeked around the teenager to spy on the interior of the house. "Is precious ready for visitors?" she asked as she walked in.

"Her name is Catherine, not precious," Jack said matter of factly. Rosemary cooed, and made to pick up the baby, but Jack held her closer to him.

"It's my turn still." Jack gave Rosemary an angry face.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said.

Nathan scooted to the edge of his seat. "Actually Jack, I'm going to check on Momma. And I think we may need to change Catherine's diaper. Can Aunt Rosemary help you hold the baby for a little while?"

"Ok," Jack responded reluctantly.

"I think he may be a little possessive," he chuckled to Rosemary. He lifted Catherine out of Jack's arms, and stood to give Rosemary a seat on the couch. After a little shuffling around, Jack was once again holding Catherine, this time with Rosemary to support them.

Nathan quietly ascended the stairs, hoping to find Elizabeth still sleeping. The delivery hadn't been easy for her, and she had been so reluctant to put down her daughter after the birth, she needed as much rest as she could.

"Lizbeth," he whispered, opening the door as silently as possible. The room was dark, but he could just make out her quiet form on the bed. She lay still, no stirring as he reached for the nappy he needed. After crossing to the side of the bed, he leaned down close to his wife. "Thank you for giving me the most amazing gift," he whispered before pressing his lips to her forehead.

He snapped up, shocked at how clammy her face was. He turned up the light on the bedside table, and gasped at the white pallor of her skin. He yanked back the bedcovers, and saw a pool of blood collecting on the sheets.

"Elizabeth!" he cried. He shook her somewhat roughly, desperate to be reassured his worst fears were not coming to pass. He felt her neck, and caught just the bare trace of a beat. Gathering her nearly imperceptible weight into his arms, he called out as he carried her down the stairs. "Rosemary!"

He emerged in the family room, heedless of the children and the scene he must be making.

"Nathan, what's happened?" Rosemary asked.

"Is Lee home?"

"Yes, but…"

Nathan didn't care that he was giving no explanation, cutting Rosemary off. "I need him, now! Allie, come with me!"

Gesturing for her to open the front door, she took up his urgency and raced to the Coulter's front door ahead of him.

"Mr. Coulter! We need your car!" Allie yelled.

Lee looked up from where he had been helping Goldie with her lunch. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Something's wrong with Mom! Please, we need to get her to Dr. Carter right now!"

Lee responded to Allie's pleas with nothing more than a request for her to stay with Goldie. He ran out of his house to find Nathan was already arranging Elizabeth into the back of Lee's car.

Lee gave no argument as he settled into the driver seat and raced into town. Once they pulled up to the infirmary, Lee hopped out of the driver's seat, and attempted to help Nathan lift Elizabeth, but the Mountie brushed him aside and gathered his wife in his arms again. Faith was on the scene immediately.

"Rosemary called me, but she didn't say what happened." Faith began looking Elizabeth over while Nathan was still working to get her inside the infirmary.

"She's bleeding, and it's bad," Nathan said as he finally laid Elizabeth on the cot tenderly. He couldn't separate himself from her, and clutched her left hand in both of his. Faith continued to examine her while she asked Nathan all about when the bleeding started, and how much blood there was. Nathan answered as best he could, but he was distracted by just how pale Elizabeth was. Faith began giving orders to Rosaleen as they raced to save their friend.

"Please, we can't lose her." He felt so helpless. He was supposed to be the one to protect his family, and here was his wife, his heart, looking just a step from death's door.

"Nathan, I will do everything I can. Elizabeth is strong, she…" Faith cut off and focused on the blood now pooling on the hospital bed. "Rosaleen, I need all the gauze we have. Nathan, I think you should wait outside."

"No!" he said forcefully, and Faith focused on Elizabeth rather than arguing. Nathan watched helplessly, feeling more than useless as Faith got to work, Rosaleen working so effortlessly with her despite having only begun her student nursing practical.

It took several minutes of frantic back and forth on their part tending to Elizabeth, but eventually Faith pronounced she was finished. "I've done all I can. The bleeding has slowed, but only time will tell if we've helped her enough. I'm sorry I can't give you more hope. If we were in a hospital, I'd arrange for a blood transfusion, but that's just not possible here. There's no way of knowing if she'll begin hemorrhaging again or not, so it will all be about watching and praying for now." She placed a hand on Nathan's shoulder before she closed the curtain around them to give them some privacy.

Nathan bowed his head over Elizabeth's hand, running a finger over the ring he had placed there just over a year ago. He did the only thing he could think of now, he prayed sincerely for healing for Elizabeth. He couldn't lose her, she had to get better.

His prayer continued until a voice brought his head up. "Dad?" He peeked his head around the curtain to see Allie clutching Jack's hand, the two hovering in the infirmary doorway.

"Mrs. Coulter is watching the baby. Jack and I needed to come see you." Nathan looked to Elizabeth's still pale face, then to Faith for guidance.

"Is Momma okay?" Jack asked.

Nathan finally left Elizabeth's side to go comfort his son. "Momma is sick, but Dr. Carter is doing everything she can to help her. Momma needs her rest right now. Why don't we draw a picture while we wait?"

"I have some crayons over here," Faith mentioned. She guided them to a table, out of sight of Elizabeth.

"Can I sit with her?" Allie asked pleadingly. Faith and Nathan exchanged a look, and she nodded her approval.

"I think she'd like that," Nathan said.

He turned back to Jack, trying to keep his focus on the boy, something he could control at this moment. "Do you know what you want to draw?" Nathan asked.

"It's a surprise," Jack said. In childish fashion, he dove right in, occasionally asking Nathan for a new color or his input, but otherwise fully focused on his drawing.

"Okay, I'm ready," Jack announced. He flipped his paper around to show it off. "It's me, Momma, you, Allie, Scout, Pal and baby Catherine."

Nathan gave as sincere a smile as he could muster. "Momma will love it."

"Dr. Carter! Mom needs you, now!" Allie called from behind the curtain.

—-

Elizabeth's eyes opened slowly, the harsh white light making her squint. She took in her surroundings at a glance, puzzled where she was. "What… what's going on?" she asked.

As she looked around, all she could see was white, a flat landscape with infinite, yet no depth. There was nothing to see, no landmarks, no features, no people. Then she heard her name spoken softly behind her. She recognized the voice, and her heart soared. When she turned, she saw his face and smiled broadly. It was him, the man who taught her love, who gave her the parts of her she held dearly. She reached out her hand, cautious that he could disappear again.

"Jack."

There he was, standing proud in his Mountie uniform, a soft smile on his lips. "Hello Elizabeth. Take a walk with me?"

He reached out his hand, and she clutched it, feeling the warmth and strength there. She pulled in closer to him, and placed her head on his shoulder as they began to stroll aimlessly. "You're here," she murmured.

"I should say, you're here," Jack said.

Elizabeth gasped, remembering how tired and weak she had felt before she arrived here. Now she felt strong, and worried what that could mean. "I'm… is this… heaven?" she asked.

"Not quite. I needed to see you, while I could."

Elizabeth pressed herself closer to her first love, savoring being with him again.

"Little Jack is growing up. It's wonderful to see him learning and so full of curiosity. And it's no surprise how much he loves school," Jack said.

"I think he would love school even more if it was all recess, lunch, and show and tell." Elizabeth smiled.

"That was an impressive frog he brought the other day." Both chuckled at the memory.

"I have Allie to thank for finding that," Elizabeth said.

Jack turned to her with a meaningful look. "You have Allie to thank for a lot of things, I believe."

Elizabeth felt tears prick in her eyes. "Yes, I do. I think I recognized right away that Allie needed me more than any other student I'd had before. But I didn't realize how much I needed her. She and Jack are such amazing friends, even better than brother and sister. And she's been the most amazing helper preparing for the baby. And Nathan…"

Elizabeth dropped her gaze and her hand from Jack's, ashamed at the uncaring mention of moving on from her love.

Jack picked her hand back up. "Elizabeth, I meant what I wrote in my letter, I wanted you to open your heart again. It fills me with joy that you and Nathan found each other, and found such happiness together."

Elizabeth's tears brimmed over, and one by one traced down her cheeks. "Will I see them again?" she asked.

"That's up to you. We're in between now, but up there…" Jack pointed to a door, rising alone from the vastless nothing. "That's eternity. We can go there, be together. And one day, they will all join us. Do you want to go now?"

Elizabeth couldn't believe the possibility given to her. How could she make this impossible choice; her first love, or her current love; the peace of heaven, or the joys of life? Her vision swam and within it she saw the truth.

"I'm needed there, with Catherine, with little Jack, with Allie, and with Nathan." She looked at Jack, and then leaned into his chest, collapsing into his arms. She wept silently, yet drawing comfort from Jack's embrace. For long moments, she couldn't think of anything other than how right it was to be with him again.

"Elizabeth, you have to go now," Jack murmured.

She doubted her decision in that moment. "No! Just a few more minutes?" she begged.

Jack gave her a sad smile. "If only." They stared into one another's eyes.

"I love you," Elizabeth whispered.

"I will always love you," Jack said. He leaned forward, and Elizabeth's eyes closed. Their lips touched tenderly, a fleeting but profound moment.

When Elizabeth's eyes opened, instead of the white nothing, she saw a white ceiling, blue walls, a white curtain to her left, and the most comforting sight to her right. Her son was laying on her husband's shoulder, all four eyes closed, both breathing deep and even. At the foot of her bed, she caught sight of both of her daughters, Allie swaying back and forth slowly with the babe in her arms, singing a soft lullaby.

Elizabeth's eyes closed again, every part weary to the very core. But she managed a smile, grateful to have her family around her, the peace of heaven, here on earth.

Endnote: Elizabeth experiences severe bleeding shortly after giving birth. She is rushed to the infirmary, where her condition is still critical. She has a near-death experience where she sees and talks with Jack. There is a happy ending.

Thank you notawriter32 for your feedback regarding the potential triggering nature of this chapter. And I hope the happy ending makes up for scaring any of you during the reading of this one-shot. I promise the next chapter is extremely fluffy and happy!

This idea has been rattling around in my brain for quite a while, so I hope I did my muse justice. The idea of Elizabeth going through a near-death experience and getting to see Jack again has always been something I've wanted to explore. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed finally committing it to writing.