Notes:

Promted by: prompt was Fem!Shep Kaidan Alenko and a lazy weekend day.

A big shoutout to FerusAureliusfor betaing. Thank you so much for all your help!

"Hi, honey."

"Hey mom, how's it going?"

"Oh, you know. The usual. The was is going on. " When Hannah Shepard answered like that she knew something was wrong. But she also knew her mother didn't want to talk about it.

"Have you found her?"

Shepard's aunt, the woman who was her second mother, had been missing for months.. And together the two Shepards used all their resources to try and find out if she was still alive. She was back on Earth. News reports showed how badly they were hit by the Reapers. Yet they couldn't find them.

"No," her mother gave a shuddering breath trying not to imagine the worst possible scenario. "But that's not why I called. I remembered!"

It wasn't surprising that her mom remembered that today, 30 years ago Shepard was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.

She started to celebrate it when she was 10. At first, she started to bake something for the occasion. Most people didn't understand it, including Hannah Shepard, but for her, it was a victory to be sitting so long with her chronic illness. She received weird reactions and comments. The only person who understood was her aunt. She celebrated with Shepard.

When she was a kid her aunt used to mark it off a calendar. And together they'd do something for the diabetic community.

It felt like someone stabbed her heart when she realized she couldn't talk to her.

Shepard smiled but her heart wasn't in it, "Thanks, mom. I appreciate it."

"It's been 30 years. I can't believe it's been that long. And you did your best," her mom praised her.

I'm not sure if I did my best, though.

"You always made a big thing out of it. Are you doing something this year?" Hannah asked.

That was true. She usually did something when she was a kid. But the more it weirded people out the more she celebrated the anniversary in secret.

"I might do something special. The Normandy is still undergoing repairs ordered by Hackett. We currently have shore leave, so it'll be a lazy weekend."

Her mom smiled sceptically as if Shepard and the words 'lazy' and 'weekend' were incapable of existing together in the same universe. "Well, I hope you enjoy it. And good luck on your front."

"Yours, too."

"Commander, you wanted to see me," Kaidan said as he stepped into her room in Anderson's old apartment.

"So formal Kaidan," Shepard said playfully. "Do you have any plans for shore leave?"

"No," he narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Why? Do you want to do something?"

Shepard took a deep breath. She wasn't sure how Kaidan might react to this. Overall he had always been supportive. Something that meant a lot to her. And she needed that support more than she could say.

So she did the next best thing. "Come with me to a tattoo parlour."

Kaidan took a step back. Looking surprised. "You want a tattoo."

Shepard smiled. He had no idea. But she hoped he could accept the gesture. "It's a special occasion. I'll let you guess when we get there."

"You want me to give you a tattoo with a blue circle," the Salarian was taken aback. Her big dark eyes blinked at her, "You're insulting my skills Commander.

Shepard almost laughed at that. Kaidan just looked confused.

He nervously ran his fingers through his dark hair. "You're not going to join some gang, are you, Shepard?"

"No," Shepard laughed, "What gang would want a circle?" She joined the joke.

"I'm not sure why you would want this," he admitted.

Kaidan wanted to figure it out his mind working the different angles to figure it out, but he couldn't imagine what the circle meant.

"It's the diabetic symbol," she admitted awkwardly.

"Oh," Kaidan said softly. "I'm sorry Shepard."

This time Shepard did laugh. "Don't be sorry. A lot of people don't know what this means." She took a deep breath before explaining it. "It's my 30th anniversary of me being a diabetic."

She searched his face for judgment, or shock, and found none. "Oh wow. That's awesome."

Shepard frowned, "You don't find it strange that I celebrate it?"

"No," the surprising answer came. "Why wouldn't you?"

She smiled as the tattoo artist began her work.

While getting her tattoo Kaidan was there by her side. She got the tattoo on her shoulder. Every few seconds she stared at it, not believing that she actually went to get it. This was a part of her. They exchanged glances. It was like they had a conversation without speaking to each other.

Shepard planned carefully. Her sugar levels had to be at the most perfect levels otherwise she might have a risk of infection. But luckily everythin worked out as planned and she even told Chakwas about it.

Afterwards, they spent time in her room in Anderson's old apartment. She lotion on her shoulder. She would need to rinse it with clean water when they come back from spending time with the crew.

That night they met the crew for drinks at Purgatory.

They talked and talked.

"You should tell them," Kaidan said as he slid into the booth next to her. He'd just bought a round for the crew.

She smiled at him, "No. I just wanted to tell you. People…"

"They aren't just people," Kaidan whispered and placed her arm around her as the others went on with their conversation. "They're family."

Shepard nodded as she realized he was correct. "Maybe someday. Thanks," she added, "I really wanted to tell you. Thanks for always having my back."

Shepard wasn't ready to tell them. She knows that they would be supportive but that didn't stop the doubts that lingered.

"We have each other's back, Shepard."

It was the perfect day.